Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter. All characters belong to the very talented J.K Rowling.
Potions class
[Snape's classroom]
Harry: "So, what are we doing today Snapie?"
Snape: (a bit tipsy) "Well, dearie, today we are going to make love potions."(titters)
Seamus: (clasps hands together) "Oh! I can finally make Harry fall in love with me!"
Harry: (oblivious) "Der?"
Hermione: "Not if I finish my potion first, Seamus!"
Ron: (folding a paper) "Hermione, only a troll will have you."
(laughs at his own cleverness)
Hermione: (bursting into tears) "You are so mean!"
Snape: "Quiet all of you!"
Ron: (throws a paper airplane) "Why don't you!"
Snape: "Automatic F, Mr. Weasley!"
Ron: (cheering) "Yay! I was getting below zero!"
Hermione: "Leave it to Ron to achieve the impossible."
Harry: (smugly) "You mean leave it to Harry! I was the one who destroyed Voldemort."
Ron: "Harry, that was like, two days ago. Nobody cares anymore."
Harry: (eyes fill with tears) "N-nobody a-a-aprec-preciates m-me..."
Hemione: "Damn straight!"
Harry: (sobbing) "Oh, I want my mum!"
Seamus: (shortly) "She's dead."
Harry:(stops crying) "Oops, I forgot." (hops on the table, consumed with anger)
"I will avenge my parents death!"
Hermione: (lazily) "Harry, you did remember? You killed Voldemort."
Harry: "Oh-right...um...yeah."
Ron: "Um, you did kill him right? That's what you said."
Harry: (puffing his chest out) "Well, I hit him with the killing curse, Killingus Voldemortus!" (obviously pleased with himself)
Hermione: (groaning) "Harry, that isn't the killing curse!" (raises her wand dramatically)"It's Avada Kedavra."
[The curse rickashays off of Neville's cauldron, and hits Ron]
Hermione: "Oopsies."
Dumbledore: (enters room) "Young lady! You're going to Azkaban!"
Hermoine: "Damn."
Dumbledore: (noticing that it was Ron Hermione hit) "Oh, it was just Ron, nevermind."
Hermione: "Yay!"
Harry: (has been musing) "Like this, Hermoine." (waves wand around wildly)
"Avada Kedavra."
(Hermione is hit)
Harry: "Am I in trouble?"
Dumbledore: "Nah, it was an accident."
Harry-(a realizing gasp) "Hey! Ron is dead!" (jumps on table, blood boiling)
"I will avenge his death!"
Parvati: "You did stupid. You killed Hermione."
Harry: (utterly confused) "Huh?" (then enraged) "I will avenge Hermione's death!"
Lavender: "Harry! Wait! You-"
Dumbledore: ( halts Lavender) "Never you mind, girl."(whispering to self) "Finally, I will be rid of that pesky boy. Now it is I, The Great Dumbledore, that people will worship instead of the Boy Who Lived!"
[The students and an eager Profesor await Harry's doom]
Harry: (takes a deep breath) "Killingus Harryus!"
Dumbledore- "Drat."
[Voldemort enters]
Parvati: "Sir! Harry is going to be killed!"
Dumbledore: (pretends to try to save Harry) "Oh-dear, what-a-tra-gedy!" (Voldemort does nothing) "I must-get-to-the-boy-(Voldemort does nothing, Dumbledore is annoyed)"I-think I will-be-too-late- (Voldemort does nothing)
Voldemort: "Der?"
Dumbledore: (tired of pretending) "Good God, man! Aren't you going to try to kill Harry!" (notices terrified students look at him suspiciosly) "Oh! And I ahem-will of course try to save him."
Voldemort: (ponders a very long time) "Umm...er.......duh............... Killingus Harryus!"
Dumbledore: (fed up) "Avada Kedavra!"
[Everyone is hit]
Dumbledore: "Oopsies."
Harry: 'cept me, of course."
Dumbledore: "Why the hell do you always live!"
Harry: "I dunno, guess I'm special."
Potions class
[Snape's classroom]
Harry: "So, what are we doing today Snapie?"
Snape: (a bit tipsy) "Well, dearie, today we are going to make love potions."(titters)
Seamus: (clasps hands together) "Oh! I can finally make Harry fall in love with me!"
Harry: (oblivious) "Der?"
Hermione: "Not if I finish my potion first, Seamus!"
Ron: (folding a paper) "Hermione, only a troll will have you."
(laughs at his own cleverness)
Hermione: (bursting into tears) "You are so mean!"
Snape: "Quiet all of you!"
Ron: (throws a paper airplane) "Why don't you!"
Snape: "Automatic F, Mr. Weasley!"
Ron: (cheering) "Yay! I was getting below zero!"
Hermione: "Leave it to Ron to achieve the impossible."
Harry: (smugly) "You mean leave it to Harry! I was the one who destroyed Voldemort."
Ron: "Harry, that was like, two days ago. Nobody cares anymore."
Harry: (eyes fill with tears) "N-nobody a-a-aprec-preciates m-me..."
Hemione: "Damn straight!"
Harry: (sobbing) "Oh, I want my mum!"
Seamus: (shortly) "She's dead."
Harry:(stops crying) "Oops, I forgot." (hops on the table, consumed with anger)
"I will avenge my parents death!"
Hermione: (lazily) "Harry, you did remember? You killed Voldemort."
Harry: "Oh-right...um...yeah."
Ron: "Um, you did kill him right? That's what you said."
Harry: (puffing his chest out) "Well, I hit him with the killing curse, Killingus Voldemortus!" (obviously pleased with himself)
Hermione: (groaning) "Harry, that isn't the killing curse!" (raises her wand dramatically)"It's Avada Kedavra."
[The curse rickashays off of Neville's cauldron, and hits Ron]
Hermione: "Oopsies."
Dumbledore: (enters room) "Young lady! You're going to Azkaban!"
Hermoine: "Damn."
Dumbledore: (noticing that it was Ron Hermione hit) "Oh, it was just Ron, nevermind."
Hermione: "Yay!"
Harry: (has been musing) "Like this, Hermoine." (waves wand around wildly)
"Avada Kedavra."
(Hermione is hit)
Harry: "Am I in trouble?"
Dumbledore: "Nah, it was an accident."
Harry-(a realizing gasp) "Hey! Ron is dead!" (jumps on table, blood boiling)
"I will avenge his death!"
Parvati: "You did stupid. You killed Hermione."
Harry: (utterly confused) "Huh?" (then enraged) "I will avenge Hermione's death!"
Lavender: "Harry! Wait! You-"
Dumbledore: ( halts Lavender) "Never you mind, girl."(whispering to self) "Finally, I will be rid of that pesky boy. Now it is I, The Great Dumbledore, that people will worship instead of the Boy Who Lived!"
[The students and an eager Profesor await Harry's doom]
Harry: (takes a deep breath) "Killingus Harryus!"
Dumbledore- "Drat."
[Voldemort enters]
Parvati: "Sir! Harry is going to be killed!"
Dumbledore: (pretends to try to save Harry) "Oh-dear, what-a-tra-gedy!" (Voldemort does nothing) "I must-get-to-the-boy-(Voldemort does nothing, Dumbledore is annoyed)"I-think I will-be-too-late- (Voldemort does nothing)
Voldemort: "Der?"
Dumbledore: (tired of pretending) "Good God, man! Aren't you going to try to kill Harry!" (notices terrified students look at him suspiciosly) "Oh! And I ahem-will of course try to save him."
Voldemort: (ponders a very long time) "Umm...er.......duh............... Killingus Harryus!"
Dumbledore: (fed up) "Avada Kedavra!"
[Everyone is hit]
Dumbledore: "Oopsies."
Harry: 'cept me, of course."
Dumbledore: "Why the hell do you always live!"
Harry: "I dunno, guess I'm special."
