"Holmes!"
"What?"
"Did you leave the spirit lamp on again? The deal table is on fire!"
"Is it...? Oh."
"It's burning, Holmes! It's on fire!"
"Yes, you mentioned that. How on fire is it, precisely?"
"How on fire?"
"Yes – is it a 'run for your life' kind of fire, or a 'you have a few minutes' kind of fire?"
"Is it – Holmes! Get out of bed! There is no such thing as a 'you have a few minutes' kind of fire! The deal table is on fire right now!"
A/N: I refer the reader to the Granada episode 'The Cardboard Box,' in which the chemistry set acquires some festive new fire hazards. Ribbons and garlands can go up like kindling, after all...
Silly fluff, at any rate – but it is one hundred words, and all dialogue, as per the prompt. I will take my prize, now :D
