Wanted to try something a little different, sorry if it's a bit long but I didn't want to start a new multi chapter fic, so did it all in one. Enjoy.
Disclaimer – I own nothing
The Weakness in Me
Why is it when you find the one, it is never the one you're with?
Boyd rolled over and rubbed his eyes, taking in the slightly strange surroundings. Suddenly, the previous nights' events came flooding back to him. He looked across the bed to see the sleeping form of Frankie Wharton. He cursed to himself, and put his head in his hands as the evenings' events came back to him.
They'd been working late and had gone out to eat after they'd finished for the evening, everyone else had already left so it was just the two of them. They'd enjoyed a curry and a couple of bottles of wine before getting in a taxi. The intention had been to drop Frankie off and then him, but in the back of the taxi, they had started getting a little touchy feely, and it resulted in a kiss, and that led to another, and then another, until they were all over each other. When the taxi stopped outside Frankie's home, she had taken hold of his hand and pulled him out of the taxi with her. He paid the taxi driver as she opened her front door, once inside her flat she immediately pushed him against the inside of the door and kissed him again, whilst it was her that was definitely leading he was in no way holding back.
They made it to the bedroom where Frankie pushed him onto the bed and started to undress him, her lips moving from his mouth to his neck and chest.
The sex was energetic and satisfying, for both of them. Frankie couldn't deny that he had both the pace and the talent that came with men of a certain age, and she certainly had no complaints.
However, the following morning was an entirely different matter. He felt terrible, physically and mentally. Physically was due to the amount of alcohol he'd consumed, and mentally was down to the guilt trip he was on at having slept with one of his colleagues.
"Are You okay?" A husky voice asked from behind him.
He jumped slightly, "Um, yeah I'm fine. You?"
"I have a banging headache, but other than that I'm fine."
"Do you want me to get you some tablets?"
"No, I'm fine, thanks though."
"It's okay. Listen I should go." He said whilst buttoning up his shirt.
"Yeah okay, um, I don't have any regrets Boyd."
"Okay!"
"I mean it, and neither should you." Frankie sat up and crawled across the bed to where he was sat, keeping the sheet around her. As she got to him, she put her hand on his face and turned him towards her. She hesitated for a moment and then leant forward and kissed him, a deep fervent kiss that took his breath away. He pushed her back on the bed and began to return her kisses, undoing the buttons on his shirt as he did so.
This time they didn't fall into a drunken slumber afterwards, they lay together. She cuddled up to him, and he ran his fingers delicately up and down her spine.
"We shouldn't have done that." He said in a hushed tone.
"We're both adults and free agents, why shouldn't we have done it?"
"Because we work together and it complicates things."
"It doesn't have to. We could keep it professional at work, see each other when we feel like it, who gets hurt?"
"Somebody will. Somebody always does. It's not as easy as keeping everything clinical."
"We're grown ups Boyd."
"Yeah I know. The problem is Frankie, I don't want a relationship at the moment."
"What, not even a purely physical one?"
"It won't work."
"It could work. We don't have to rush into some full-on relationship. We just see each other when we want to, when we need a little relief from the stresses and strains of work life."
"And what if someone finds out, and it's not just that, it will affect our working relationship."
"Risk it Boyd, live a little."
He looked into her eyes, and leant forward to kiss her again, "One day at a time Frankie. There's something else, I don't want to ruin the mood by being sensible, but we didn't use anything last night, are you on the pill?"
"Sensible is good Boyd, and no, I'm not."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"I kind of figured it would spoil the mood somewhat, especially if you didn't have a condom, and I figured you didn't otherwise you would have offered to use it."
"You should have said something Frankie!" He pulled away from her and sat on the edge of the bed. "What if you get pregnant?"
"I won't. It's fine. I'll get the morning-after pill. It'll be okay, and I'll sort something else out before next time, unless you don't want to."
"Oh I want to. I most definitely want to. I'm just not sure it's a good idea."
"Well let's just see how it goes eh."
"Are you sure you can handle that, keeping things under wraps."
"I can if you can."
-o0o-
At work, he spends a lot of time thinking. Thinking about the previous night, and not in a good way, oh the sex was good, he couldn't deny that, but the guilt he felt now was unbearable. Frankie was young, funny, intelligent and beautiful. No sensible heterosexual man would turn her down, and he didn't, but he should have, and that was playing on his conscience.
From her office, Grace could see him gazing into space, daydreaming. She sat and wondered what he was dreaming of.
As he snapped out of his dream, he realised, he was looking straight at Grace. She smiled at him and he smiled back, that small intimate smile that they often shared. It was the smile that he saved just for her, no one else.
A while later they all congregated in the lab. Frankie had some findings that she needed to share with the team. As she went through her latest forensic results, she felt her eyes drawn to his, but every time she looked at him, he looked away from her, uncomfortably. She hoped none of the others noticed. As they all left to return to what they were doing, he stayed on a while longer, the pretext of discussing the results further.
As Grace removed her white coat, she turned to see them talking, she couldn't help but notice something different between them, something she couldn't quite put her finger on, an awkwardness, as though they felt ill at ease with each other.
Boyd looked over his shoulder to check if anyone was around, seeing that they were alone he began to speak. "What time are you finishing?"
"I've got a few more tests to run, some results to check. Why? Do you want to do something?"
"Do you?"
"Safe answer Boyd, we could go back to mine, open a bottle of something."
"Okay, well let me know when you're finished here, and I'll come over to yours."
"See you later." She replied, hiding the excitement that was burning in her stomach at the thought of spending the night with him again.
-o0o-
Frankie sat on the floor of her flat, her head resting on her sofa where Boyd sat, both sipping from wine glasses, an awkward silence between them.
"Oh fuck this, let's just go to bed." He said pulling her up from the floor and smothering her lips with his own, they fumbled their way into the bedroom, divesting each other of their clothes on the way.
It was slower and more sensual than it had been before, as though they were more relaxed in each other's company, more at ease as they rolled over in her king-size bed, her nails digging lightly into his back as he thrust inside her, his hands holding her tightly as she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him deeper into her. Her youth afforded her a little more confidence and a lot more energy in the bedroom, and she clearly had no problems vocalizing her feelings. Her groans of pleasure and calls of his name only exciting him further. As they edged towards the final goal, her cries got louder, he kissed her to silence her, forcing her to moan into his kisses. The speed and power of his movements increasing as he got closer to the edge, close enough to almost touch it, far enough away to still reach for it.
Her muscles tighten around him as her body reacts to the change in his pace, she squeals and digs her nails even harder into his back as she feels herself tumble into oblivion. Her body responds to every movement he makes as she loses the ability to think coherently. He is more reserved when he comes, his groans low and restrained. His eyes shut tight, his breathing fast.
"Okay?" He asks as he rolls to her side.
"Oh god, I'm better than okay, that was amazing."
She snuggles into his side, and he puts his arms around her, "is that why you were so loud? Cos it was amazing?"
"Was I too loud, shit, sorry, I just lost control, a bit."
"It's okay. I'm just glad you enjoyed it."
"Oh I enjoyed it. I definitely enjoyed it." She lifted her head and kissed him, a deep lingering kiss, before snuggling into his arms and falling asleep.
-o0o-
The next few weeks revolved around a similar pattern. They were professional at work, and then they usually ended up in bed together after work, or at least they did about three or four times a week. Always at her place, they never went out. They never dated. They just had sex. For him, it was enough. He wanted nothing more, but for her, it was becoming more than sex, she was developing feelings for him that went a lot deeper than just a physical relationship.
She found herself thinking about him more and more, daydreaming about what it would be like if they were a proper couple, if he took her out to dinner, went to the movies, walked along the road hand in hand, talked about deep and meaningful things. However, they did none of those things. They just had sex together, sometimes he would sleep in her bed, hold her in his arms for the night, sometimes she would wake up in an empty bed, and lay with her head on the pillow he'd laid on, breathing in his scent, that beautiful cologne mixed with the natural scent of his body. It was an intoxicating mixture.
She called him from the lab, "Hi Frankie, you okay?" he asked in his usual business-like tone.
"Yeah I'm fine thank you. I was thinking, well I was wondering, um I was planning on cooking a meal tonight, for us. I thought you could come round for dinner."
The phone seemed to stay silent for ages, "Dinner?" He Queried.
"Yeah, if you don't want to its fine, it was just a thought."
"No, um dinner's fine." He replied unconvincingly.
"I think we should talk Boyd."
"O...kay." he said the word slowly.
"You don't agree?"
"No, I agree. I'll see you tonight." He hung up the phone, and sat at his desk thinking. He knew what was coming. He knew she wouldn't be able to remain detached, to maintain a purely physical relationship. The trouble was he didn't want anything more, and he wasn't sure how to tell her, maybe it would be easier to end this, whatever it was, now.
He was still sat at his desk when there was a tap on his door. He looked up to see Grace stood in the doorway.
"I'm sorry. You look deep in thought, I didn't want to disturb you, but I need to leave."
"No it's fine, are you okay?"
"Not really, my Mother has been taken ill. I need to travel up north to see her."
"Shit, how ill is she?"
"They say she may not have long. As you know, she's been in a nursing home for years due to her frailty, but she has taken a turn for the worse."
"Grace you look in shock, come and sit down for a minute."
"No, I really have to get going."
"Okay, well let me drive you then. I don't want you trying to drive in that state."
"I'll be fine, honestly."
"I'm not taking no for an answer Grace. I'm driving you. Do you need to pick up anything from home?"
"Yeah just a couple of things, are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure. We'll stop by my place first, then yours, okay?"
Grace nodded her head in agreement, grateful for his kindness. She had no idea how she was going to make the drive to see her mother when she was so worried about her, frightened of what she would find when she got there, terrified, she wouldn't make it in time to see her.
-o0o-
The drive was quiet and speedy, Boyd putting his foot down in his powerful Audi to get her there as quickly as possible, neither of them said much, but eventually Grace broke the silence.
"Strange isn't. No matter how old you get, our parents are still our parents. We're all children again when we think of losing them."
"I lost both my parents some years ago. It seems like a lifetime ago now, but I remember how much it hurt. I'll be here for you Grace."
"Thank you, that's really kind of you."
He stretched his hand across and placed it on top of Grace's hand, gently rubbing his thumb over her hand.
-o0o-
At home Frankie prepared dinner, and then took a shower and got changed. She changed her bedding as she was pretty sure that if nothing else, he would be staying over tonight. It was a Friday night. They didn't have to work tomorrow, and meal or no meal. They usually spent Friday nights together. Everything was ready, and she sat down with a glass of wine, some soft Motown music playing on the stereo. She couldn't deny that she was nervous. They had spent the last few weeks at it like rabbits, but had never once talked about their feelings. He had always maintained that he didn't want a relationship, and she thought she was okay with that, but the more time she spent with him the more she realised that she was far from okay with that. She wanted him in every sense of the word, heart, body and soul, and tonight was the night that she was going to tell him.
She looked at her watch. He normally came around about It 7. 30pm. It was now 8.00pm, and there was no sign of him. She picked up her phone to see if he had text her, but he hadn't. They hadn't finalized details at work as he had left without saying goodbye, maybe that was a bad sign, she thought. She dialled his number.
"Hi this is DSI Boyd, please leave a message." His voice-mail message, just like him, was abrupt and to the point.
"Hi, it's me, just wondering what time you're coming over, don't want dinner to ruin, call me back."
She left it another five minutes before sending him a text that just said, Can you call me please?
Over the next hour and a half, she sent various messages and voice-mail's, but got no response. Eventually, she gave up and sat on the sofa alone, opening her second bottle of wine. She curled up and cried. She knew he wasn't as into her as she was into him, and maybe now she'd frightened him off, maybe rather than tell her to her face that he wasn't interested he thought it would be easier to take the coward's way out and just ignore her, to stop going around, and cut all ties other than professional ones. Feeling sorry for herself, she continued to sit and cry.
-o0o-
Boyd parked his car in the hospital car park and then the two of them walked through the hospital to find Grace's mother, who was in a side room and wired up to machines. Despite her obvious frailty, she was still able to raise a smile when she saw her daughter. Grace went straight to her mother's side and took hold of her hand.
"Hi Mum it's me." She said, bending down to kiss her cheek, Boyd found her a chair, so she could sit next to her Mother's bed, and then left her alone for a while.
Outside the hospital, he took out his mobile, and as he had expected, he had several voice-mail and text messages from Frankie, he hadn't told her before they left that he wouldn't make it for dinner, and had put his phone on silent, so he couldn't hear the constant calls and messages that he knew he would get.
If he was honest, he was worried about this evening, Frankie saying she wanted to talk, scared the living day lights out of him, he knew what she was going to say, she wanted more. More than they had, more than he wanted, and certainly more than he was willing or able to give her. But all that aside, he wasn't a coward. He couldn't ignore her calls. She deserved more than that.
He dialled her number and it took a few minutes for her to answer, she sounded a little drunk when she answered.
"Hi, Frankie it's me, look, I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier. I was driving."
"Okay, what happened, why didn't you come round?"
"Grace's mum is very ill. She needed to see her, but she didn't look in any state to drive, so I drove her."
"So you're with Grace?"
"Yes I'm with Grace. She needs me Frankie. She needs my support."
"Okay she needs support, but why does it have to be yours?"
"I'm sorry?"
"We had plans Boyd, and you just brush me off to go and be Grace's knight in shining armour, well thanks a lot."
"I'm assuming you've had too much to drink Frankie, so I'm going to forget that comment, we'll talk about it when I get back."
"And when is that likely to be, I do have feelings Boyd. I'm not a bloody machine."
"I understand you have feelings Frankie, but when we started this...this thing, we agreed that feelings didn't come into it. Now I don't want to discuss this on the phone. My best friend's mother is on her death bed, and she needs me, goodbye." He hung up the phone, and walked back into the hospital.
As he got to the door of her hospital room, he stood and listened as Grace talked to her Mother, maybe he shouldn't have listened, maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but he couldn't help but listen, to hear the things she was saying.
"Are you warm enough Mum? Do you want me to get you anything?" Grace continued to talk to her Mum despite the lack of response. Her Mother slipped in, and out of consciousness and Grace knew it could be the last chance she got to say anything she wanted to say, so she held onto her hand, and continued to talk to her.
"I love you Mum. I'm not sure if I've ever said that before, I guess I must have, but I can't remember. That's terrible isn't it, I can't remember saying it to your face, but I hope you know and understand that I do love you, and I have always felt loved. I'm sorry if I haven't always been the best daughter, if I put my needs before your feelings, I never meant to hurt you, but I know at times I did. I saw the disappointment in your eyes, oh you never said anything, always tried to act like the proud parent, but I know you weren't always proud of the things I did. I deprived you of the big white wedding you wanted for your daughter, the thing you never had for yourself, but you always wanted me to have, but I married in secret and told you afterwards. I never realised how much that hurt you, almost as much as it hurt you when he left me, when I came home and told you, it was over. He had met someone else and left me. You never said I told you so, but you would have had every right to. I wouldn't have blamed you. Nobody would have blamed you. I became everything you didn't want me to be. I know you would have liked grandchildren, and I've never told you this before, but I got pregnant once, many years ago now. I couldn't tell you at the time, I was too ashamed. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to hold me, and help me, but I just couldn't bare the thought of letting you down again. He was married you see. I didn't know. I would never have had a relationship with a married man. I got pregnant by accident. I thought he would do the right thing, but when I told him I was pregnant, he told me that he was married with children. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted your advice, your help, but I couldn't face it, couldn't face you. I don't know why. You've never hurt me in my life, I guess I was just tired of disappointing you. So I dealt with it alone, I had a termination, I was alone and scared, and I just wanted you to look after me, but instead I went through it alone, and I'm sorry Mum, I'm sorry for all the things I did wrong, I never meant to let you down, I'm so sorry." As the tears trickled down her cheeks, she felt a hand on her face.
"Don't cry Gracie, you never disappointed me. I have always been proud of you, and I have always loved you."
"I love you too Mum."
Grace spent the night at her Mother's bedside, holding her hand and making sure she was comfortable, and by her side sat Boyd, the only time he left her was to fetch her a drink, or anything else she wanted. His constant presence a great comfort to Grace.
It was the early hours of the morning when her Mum gently slipped away, it was peaceful, and no one could ask for anything more. The last words she had spoken had been to tell Grace that she was proud of her, and that she had always loved her.
The two of them left the hospital a couple of hours later. Grace held her mum in her arms one more time and kissed her goodbye. She then had to complete some paperwork. It was 6am when they walked out of the hospital together.
"You look exhausted Grace."
"It's been a long night. Thank you, for driving me, and staying with me, I can't tell you how much it has meant to me, not to go through it alone."
"It's okay, why don't we find a hotel and see if we can get some sleep?"
Grace nodded in agreement, although she was sure, she wouldn't sleep. She wasn't sure how she felt, but she knew she didn't feel like sleeping. Grief affects people in different ways, and she wasn't sure it had even hit her yet, but she knew she wouldn't sleep.
They found a travel lodge and checked in to two single rooms. Boyd carried her small overnight bag to her room and sat with her for a while. "Why don't I make us something to drink, a tea with a little shot of something in it. It may help you sleep."
"I don't think anything would help me sleep at the moment."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Boyd the psychologist eh." She said with a smile. "Thanks, but I wouldn't know where to start. She's my Mum, and no matter how many times I let her down or did the wrong thing, she forgave me. The unconditional love of a parent is a difficult thing to lose."
Boyd made her a cup of tea and slipped a shot of brandy into it from a small bottle he had sneaked in with him, knowing it may come in handy for shock. He handed her the cup and sat on the edge of the bed next to her. He rubbed his hand on her back.
"If you need anything, I'm here for you. You know that, don't you?"
"Yes, thank you."
"I should leave you to get some rest, but I'm only next door."
As he stood to leave Grace grabbed his hand, "Stay with me, please?"
"What?" He replied, a puzzled look on his face.
"I don't mean anything physical. I just don't want to be on my own."
He sat back down next to her and brushed the hair from her eyes, "only if you promise to try and get some sleep."
"Okay."
"You take the bed. I'll take the chair." He said, nodding his head towards the uncomfortable looking bucket seat in the room.
"Share with me, I just want to be close to someone, to you."
He nodded his head and they partially undressed and climbed into bed. She lay facing him, looking drained. He his arm across the top of her pillow and invited her to cuddle up to him, and she did so eagerly, it wasn't anything more than what she had said, the need to be close to someone, to not be alone on one of the worse days of her life, nothing more, nothing less. After an hour or so of laying awake, her body finally gave into exhaustion, and she fell asleep, it enabled him to relax and also get some sleep, he had stayed awake so as not to leave her lying awake on her own.
When he woke up and looked at the clock, it was almost 1pm, the bed next to him was empty, and Grace was sat in a chair close by drinking a cup of tea. He stretched and looked over at her.
"Did you get some sleep?" He asked her.
"A little, an hour or so maybe, I think my minds still racing all over the place. I have to arrange the funeral and sort out her belongings, who has time to grieve eh?"
Boyd got out of bed and walked over to where she was sat. He again rubbed his hand affectionately on her back, before removing her cup of tea from her and taking a swig from the cup and giving it back to her. "I'm going to stay with you okay. We'll arrange everything together. I'll phone work tell them we will both be away for the next couple of weeks."
"You don't need to do that, and besides, we can't both take time off at the same time."
"You're right I don't need to do that, but I want to do that, and I am going to do that, you're an only child, and you don't have a partner. You need someone around to share the load with, to lean on, and I want to be that person, as for taking time off at the same time. I'll sort it out, okay?"
"If you're sure."
"I am, now I'm going to grab a shower and get changed." He said again taking another gulp of her tea.
-o0o-
As promised, he assisted her with all the arrangements over the next few days, accompanying her to the funeral directors, and the nursing home to collect her Mother's belongings, helping her choose flowers and inform distant relatives and friends. When she cried, he held her, and after a long day of making arrangements they slept in the same bed, where he held her in his arms, they never, even so much as kissed, he just held her.
In all the time he was away he made no attempt to contact Frankie, in fact he was glad he was away. It would give them both a cooling-off period, and when he returned to London, he planned to end the relationship, if that's what it was.
On the day of the funeral, he stood loyally at Grace's side, holding her hand, and putting his arms around her when she needed him to. The nursing home put on a small tea for people to go to after the funeral. They made an appearance but stayed only a short while, just to be polite. Afterwards, they returned to the hotel, and inside her hotel room, she broke down, he again put his arms around her, something he was becoming accustomed to doing, he held her as she sobbed, one of his hands on the back of her head, the other on her back, his face against hers, whispering calming words into her ear.
As she pulled away their eyes seemed to lock together for a few moments, he raised his hand and gently wiped away the tears from her eyes. As they continued to maintain eye contact, it was Grace, who made the first move, lifting her head just enough for their lips to touch. As kisses go, it wasn't much of one, but it was enough to let him know how she felt. He pulled back from her.
"I don't think that's a good idea." He said to her.
"Why not?"
"Because grief does funny things to people, and what you feel right now, might not be what you feel tomorrow."
"But what if it isn't just what I feel today, what if it's what I've felt for sometime." She again leant forward and kissed him, and this time he responded, it was just a kiss, but it was a slow and sensual kiss, and it ignited feelings in both of them that they weren't expecting.
Within minutes, they had gone from a slow sensual kiss to laying on the bed in each other's arms, when he suddenly stopped, she looked confused.
"What's wrong?"
"I can't do this."
"You don't feel the same. I'm sorry I just thought, well I got the impression that you felt the same."
"I do, more, in fact. It's just..."
"Just what? If you're worried I'm not thinking straight, then you're wrong, I am of sound mind and body."
Boyd smiled at her statement. "It's not that, there's something I need to tell you first."
"What?"
"Something happened, a couple of weeks ago. I mean I was drunk. She was drunk, and then afterwards it kind of happened again, and it's not like that, I mean..."
Grace cut him short, "Who?"
He looked at her speechless for a moment, "Frankie." He said her name quietly, "It's not a relationship Grace. We've just..."
"Been sleeping together. Is that what you're trying to say?"
"Yes."
"How long?"
"The last few weeks, not long."
"Long enough though."
"I don't feel about her the way I feel about you."
"And what about Frankie, how does she feel about you?"
"It was just a physical thing Grace, we both agreed."
"How does she feel about you Boyd?"
"I don't know. I think she wants more, but I don't, regardless of this, of you and me. I fully intended to end it when we get back."
"You'll break her heart."
"I know, but she isn't what I want."
"So why the bloody hell have you been sleeping with her?"
"It just happened. One drunken night turned into a few more nights. We never talk or go out. We don't have dinner or watch the TV together. It's just sex. That's all it has ever been."
"But she doesn't feel like that does she."
"No, the night we came up here she told me she was making dinner and wanted us to talk. I was going to tell her, but then you needed me."
"I didn't need you. I think you needed me. I was just a bloody excuse."
"You have never been nor will you ever be an excuse."
"So what am I?"
"You are everything to me, the person I could never turn down, never turn away, the one I would do anything for, give up anything for, my strength and my weakness all rolled into one. I love you." Grace sat on the bed, a little stunned by his words, by his honesty. He knelt down in front of her, "I want you, not just physically, but in every way possible, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. The last few nights spent holding you in my arms have been bliss,I never wanted to let you go, but I couldn't make love to you, unless I was honest with you, and I'm really hoping that you still want me."
"I should hate you, hate what you are and what you've done."
"I'm hoping there's a but at the end of that sentence."
"Yes there's a but, because I can't hate you, I am in love with you. I just don't know how to handle this. Frankie is my friend, and my colleague, and you're going to break her heart to be with me."
"No, I mean yes I'm probably going to break her heart, but not to be with you. I was going to end things with her anyway, regardless of what happens between us."
"That doesn't make it any easier to deal with, how am I going to face her?"
"This is all my fault not yours. I'll deal with it, okay?" As he looked into her eyes he leant forward and kissed her again, he gently pushed her back on the bed and continued to kiss her, undressing her slowly and making love to her.
She lay in his arms, still not comfortable with the situation, but not sure what else she should do, should she pass up her own chance of happiness so as not to upset Frankie, when he plans to end it with her anyway, but anything else just felt like such a betrayal.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked her.
"Silly question."
"Frankie!"
"Mm, when are you going to tell her."
"As soon as we get back to London."
"Don't mess her around Boyd, just tell her, no avoiding her and hoping she gets the message."
"I would never do that, it was never meant to be anything more than a little harmless fun."
"Is that what I just was, harmless fun?"
"You could never be that."
"But Frankie can. I don't know if I'm flattered or insulted."
"It wasn't meant to be an insult. I just meant you're more than that, this is more than that, I love you."
"I know. I love you too, trust me if I didn't have such strong feelings for you this would never have happened."
"Get some sleep, we'll head back in the morning, and I'll go straight round to see her."
She looked up at him and kissed him gently before snuggling into his side.
-o0o-
Back in London he kept his word and went straight round to see Frankie, knocking gingerly on her front door and waiting with bated breath for her to answer.
She opened the door, "You're back." She said, a small smile escaping her lips.
"Yeah I'm back, are you busy?"
"I'm never too busy for you, come in."
"Thanks." As he walked through the door, she went to kiss him, but he backed off.
"What's wrong?"
"We need to talk Frankie."
"Strange that, I remember saying something similar the day you stood me up to take Grace to see her Mother."
"Grace needed me."
"Did it ever occur to you that I may have needed you."
"Not in the way that she needed me."
"What is it with you and Grace? Why does she always come first?"
"Because she's my best friend, and she will always come first. Her Mother was dying, and you can't understand that she needed some moral support."
"Moral support? Is that the only kind of support she needed, or were you offering her a shoulder to cry on, a late-night cuddle, maybe even sharing her bed." His lack of response and the look on his face said it all. "Oh my god, I was joking, but I've actually hit the nail on the head haven't I?"
"I didn't come around to talk about Grace, I came to talk about us."
"You mean you've come to dump me, served my purpose have I?"
"This was never anything more than physical Frankie, we both agreed on that, if you have developed something more than that, then I am sorry. It was clearly the wrong thing right from the start to expect you to remain detached."
"Oh what, the amazing Boyd so good in the sack you can't resist falling for him, I don't think so."
"That's not what I meant, I don't want to argue with you Frankie. I just wanted to be honest."
"Oh please go on then, you be as honest as you like."
"This isn't what I want, you are attractive and exciting and intelligent, and I have enjoyed every minute of the time we have spent together, but I don't want a relationship with you. I am not in love with you." Frankie nodded her head, unable to speak as she tried to stop the emotion she was feeling from showing. Boyd stepped forward to put his arms around her. "I'm sorry Frankie."
She put her hand up to prevent him touching her. "Don't you dare put your arms around me and tell me you're sorry. You knew what you were doing, what was happening, but now you've moved onto something, or should I say someone else, and I'm being kicked into touch, surplus to requirements, whilst you move into sharing Grace's bed. Does she know about us, that we've spent the last few weeks fucking?"
"Yes she knows everything, and she knows that I've come here this morning to end things with you."
"Great so not only is my boyfriend dumping me for an older woman, but that older woman, who is one of my closest friends is aware that he's dumping me for her."
"Oh come on Frankie, we were never boyfriend and girlfriend. We were just sleeping together."
Tears started to stream down her face, "Were you sleeping with her whilst you were sleeping with me?"
"No I wasn't."
"But you have slept with her, haven't you?"
"I don't think I should discuss what's going on between Grace and myself."
"Oh whatever Boyd, I think it would be better if you just leave now."
"I'm not going to leave you in this state, just because I don't want to sleep with you any more doesn't mean I don't still care about you."
"Don't fucking patronise me Boyd, just get out." He again moved forward to try and comfort her, and this time she slapped him hard across the face. "Tell me, what is it about her, more on your level, better conversation, or is she simply a better fuck than me, does she go down on you when I wouldn't, has she learnt a few more tricks than me, does she like it rough, like you to tie her up and fulfil all your fantasies."
"I'm in love with her, I have always been in love with her, and I'm sorry if it makes me sound callous, but I don't feel that way about you. I never have. It was just meant to be a bit of fun, you said that yourself."
"Could you just leave please. I don't want to discuss this any more."
"Are you going to be okay?"
"Don't flatter yourself Boyd, I'm not going to top myself because you dumped me, I'm not that bloody heartbroken, and as far as fucks go, I've had better."
"I'm sorry Frankie. I never wanted it to end like this, but we want different things."
"Basically I want you and you don't want me, is what you're trying to say."
"It's..."
"Go Boyd, please don't make me ask again"
He turned and walked out of her front door, wishing things could have turned out better, as he closed the door behind him, Frankie stood in silence, a little shocked, part of her wishing she had been a little more dignified and another part wishing she'd been a little harsher, wishing she had slapped him again and again. She turned and leant against the wall in her kitchen, slowly sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor in floods of tears. She had fallen for him, hook, line and sinker, despite the fact that in her heart, she knew he didn't feel the same. No matter what she said he was right. They had both agreed it was just fun, two single people enjoying each other's company on lonely nights, nothing more and nothing less, and whilst he was moving on to the woman he was in love with. She was being left behind, because she had done what she said she wouldn't do, fallen for him.
Boyd knocked lightly on Grace's front door and waited for her to answer, which she did quite quickly.
He kissed her gently as he walked in, "How are you?" He asked her.
"Not bad thanks, you?"
"Oh, you know, not brilliant."
"I take it you've been to see Frankie then?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want a cup of tea?"
"Please."
"How did she take it?"
"Not good."
"Well, I think that was to be expected."
"Yeah, I didn't really like leaving her alone, but she wanted me to leave."
"She'll be okay Boyd. I know that sounds a bit hard, but she will be. She's a strong woman. She'll get over it."
"It's going to make working together a little difficult for a while though, isn't it?"
"Maybe, but maybe not, maybe you can both remain professional."
"She knows."
"Knows what?"
"About us."
"I see, how did she react to that?"
"She was angry, hurt, upset. I didn't tell her, not directly, she kind of guessed and I didn't see the point in lying. Is that going to make things difficult for you?"
"I'll deal with it."
"We'll deal with it together, this is what we both want, and we'll see it through." He stepped forward and put his arms around her, she slipped hers around his waist and held onto him, burying her head into his chest, the comforting feeling of his arms around her something she was happy to get used to.
-o0o-
The following morning they arrived for work separately but at the same time, they didn't want to rub Frankie's nose in their happiness by turning up for work all loved up. As he walked into his office, he could see an envelope on his desk, he opened it quickly, already knowing what it would be and who it was from.
Dear Boyd,
This is just to inform you that I have tendered my resignation with the home office, with immediate effect, a replacement will be sent on Monday morning.
Dr F Wharton.
The letter was short and to the point, Boyd got up from his desk and ran through to the lab, seeing him running Grace couldn't help but follow to find out what was wrong. As she got to the lab, he was sat on a lab stool, running his hand through his hair and sighing.
"What's going on?" Grace asked him. He handed her the letter that was now partially screwed up in his hand.
"She's gone. She must have come in early and cleared all her stuff out. She's already informed the home office."
"It's not your fault." She said placing her hand on his shoulder, "Give her a month or two, and she'll calm down. We'll talk to her."
"Somehow I don't think so, I think this was kind of inevitable, don't you?"
"Maybe, I don't know, maybe it's for the best."
"We've lost the best forensic pathologist I've ever known, how can that be for the best?"
"You know what I mean, the best for this situation. It would have been really hard for her to come to work knowing that we are together, and that you ended your relationship with her to be with me."
"Yeah I know, sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."
"I know' We'll get through this. Everyone needs to move on at some time, maybe the time was right for Frankie."
"Yeah perhaps you're right."
Grace moved her hand from his shoulder to his face, her thumb stroking his skin. He moved his lips to her hand and kissed her palm.
"Come on, let's do some work." He said taking her hand and pulling her towards the doors of the lab.
Fin
Hope you enjoyed it.
