Hi! I know this isn't my other story but i've been having a bad writer's block at the moment. It will pass and I will finish it. But I just wanted to let the people that have been waiting, know that I am alive and will be writing soon :).
Thanks as always for reading and reviewing.
If you have read my other stories, you should realize I like those little moments, even though nothing much happens.
If you don't like that, I'm sorry. But I hope those that do, enjoy :)
Their age doesn't matter, but if it does to you then, Sam's around 11 and Dean is 15.
I hate this.
I hate having to move to new places.
I hate always being called the new kid.
I hate having to make friends all over again.
I hate it when the kids who knew each other for most of their lives were suddenly introduced to this strange new creature (me), start whispering among themselves. Trying to deduce what it is. Where it came from. What it is doing here.
I hate it when the whole crowd shifts away from that creature, almost like even though it's not invisible, they want to treat it as such.
I hate the way there will always be problems no matter how hard I try to make friends.
If it happened, it would last for just the slightest moment, then be ripped away from me completely.
Then I would be treated like a freak until the next hunt takes our family to a new state.
I hate how lonely it is to never have any friends.
I'm tired of travelling around.
I'm tired of having to shift my mind around the different lifestyles.
I hate having to explain what my family does, or what people think they are doing.
I hate having to keep it to myself and always be regarded as a weirdo.
I hate how hard it is to try and keep my grades up when I'm constantly missing so much material.
I hate how uncomfortable it is sleeping in different motels that have such strange, undistinguishable smells.
I hate that my dad is hardly around.
I hate that I can't be a normal kid as much as I try and kid myself into thinking it's possible.
I hate that Dean has to act tough to be able to comfort me.
I hate that he wasn't able to grow up normal.
I hate that he doesn't care about being normal.
I hate that I never got to meet my mom. I bet she was great. I bet she would have been.
I hate that I can't even talk to anyone about this.
I hate that I have to write all these down, and hope to god, Dean doesn't find this list. He hates having moments where he could seem vulnerable.
I hate that as much as I try to help with hunting, I end up hating it more.
I hate that as much as I hate all these things, I can't do anything about it.
I hate that I hate so much things.
I hate that people judge my relationship with Dean, saying it's unhealthy. We are the only friends we have. He knows me as much as he wants Dad's Impala. And I know him as much as I wish to be normal.
He is my brother, but he is my best friend. And as much of a Jerk he is, I still wouldn't trade him for anything.
Out of all the things I hate.
He is the only thing I can't.
He is the only thing still keeping me sane.
I wouldn't be able to do anything if it weren't for him.
"Aw Sammy. Why did you have to go and write your feelings down? This is why I hate chick flicks." Dean sighed as he stared at the crumpled piece of paper that had fallen from its hiding place inside his younger brother's pillow. "I never know what to say…" His eye's moved to the bathroom door where the sound of an off key humming accompanied by the shower sounded.
"But, you're the reason I can still do everything I do."
Thanks for reading! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, the absolutely amazing person who created it does. Thank you Supernatural Crew for being so awesome.
(I previously named it 21 things, but i realized that I miscounted. So sorry!)
