Cry could remember so many times throughout the years in which he'd pretended when it involved Pewdiepie. Felix stirred up feelings in the Floridian like he couldn't imagine and just like any normal relationship at all, there were ups and downs.
But for Cry, he sometimes wondered if the lows outweighed the highs. It seemed like he was forever taking care of Felix and Felix's needs, with Felix never even thinking about how he felt.
It didn't matter, though. No matter how he treated him, Cry would be satisfied to just be around Felix. He loved him so much that it was sad. He knew Felix would never return the feelings, but Cry simply wasn't strong enough to cut ties with him. Instead, he would pretend, just for the night.
Felix was upset again, thanks to the comments he'd received the night before.
'Pewdiepie doesn't love his fans!'
'He's only in it for the money!'
'Fucking loser noob faggot!'
'How does anyone even watch this shit?'
"Don't let them get to you," Cry had soothed over the Skype call, "they don't know you. They can't and they won't. Your true bros know the real Pewdiepie loves them and would do this even without the money."
"But it's just that-"
Cry shushed him before the Swede could finish. "But nothing. Look Pewds, you've got millions of true fans who love you and adore you. We all get hate and we all get through it."
He watched, pleased, as the corner of Felix's mouth turned up into a hint of a smile. "Thanks, Cry."
Cry smiled back. "You're welcome, friend."
"Now, shall we play Bloody Trapland?" his blond friend asked, hopefully.
"Let's," Cry replied, proceeding to open the game.
Just for tonight, he'd pretend that Felix wouldn't get any more hate.
Cry opened the door, ushering in the soaking wet and shivering Swede. "Felix, what the hell are you doing here? It's freezing!"
At that, Felix's blue eyes locked with Cry's and he could see the immense pain practically screaming from them. The red rims, the puffiness, and the overall dead that Cry saw broke his heart.
"Sh-she left me," Felix uttered, tears spilling over, eyes darting to the floor.
Cry sighed, cursing the stupid, little redhead that Felix had allowed himself to fall in love with.
He tramped to his sofa and removed the baby blue afghan his grandmother had knitted for him ages ago. He draped it over the other boy's shoulders and pointed for him to sit down.
After a cup of hot tea and a few calming, choice words from Cry in front of the fire, Felix's clothes - and spirit - had warmed.
"You always know what to say, Cry," he said, the small hint of the smile that Cry loved oh so much, appearing.
He nodded, blushing.
Just for tonight, he would force himself to believe Pewdie's words.
Her name was Marzia. She was beautiful, Italian, and sweet, Felix's ideal girl. Cry wasn't surprised when Felix asked her to marry him - or when he asked Cry to be his best man. Hell, even Cry loved Marzia, but even still, he couldn't help but feel jealous of her.
He had been there when she had not. He'd always been the one to help Felix sort out his problems and feelings, as minuscule or maximal they were.
He wasn't shocked that the wedding plans had worked out so smoothly. Marzia was smart and determined and Felix could have cared less about waiter uniforms and napkin designs. Instead of going shopping with Marzia and her bridesmaids, Felix had opted to play video games with his best man. And still, everything was fine.
That is, until Felix had shown up at Cry's house again, a mere night before he became a married man.
Two o'clock am and Cry was still awake, contemplating the couple. Contemplating if he should be a good little best man or raise his hand when the minister asked if anyone had a reason these two should not be wed.
But what would he do for the latter? Lie and say that Marzia wasn't who she said she was? Or lie and admit his undying, pathetic love for Felix?
And what after? Could he stand seeing them together after all of this if he did not speak? And if he did speak up, what then? Either way, someone would be getting hurt. And it was really only best that it be him.
There was no reason for him to ruin two more lives. He would allow Felix and Marzia to be happy. The only real cost was that his misery would remain.
The knock at the door startled him and his animals, too. His dog began to bark wildly and his cat simply darted into the living room and under the couch to hide. Heart pounding, he opened the door to reveal Felix, yet again.
"Felix?" he'd asked.
And those sad eyes were back, but Cry did not know what was wrong this time.
He allowed Felix in and shut the door. "What's wrong now, friend? Cold fee-"
He was cut off by something he knew was wrong. But the moment that Felix's lips crashed into his, lacing his tongue with his own, he didn't stop him.
When Felix reached under his shirt, ripping it off of him and then reached for the waistband of his pajama pants, he knew he wouldn't stop him.
With every sensory, mind-blowing thrust, every scream, every moan, every gasp of breath, hew knew he simply couldn'tstop him.
Just for tonight, he would pretend that Felix actually loved him.
The ceremony was perfect, the venue beautiful. The bride, blushing and the groom, smiling. The guests were all grinning and snapping photos. All except for one, the best man, who'd awakened the next morning, truly and genuinely happy. Until his hand reached out to find that his lover was gone.
In his place, was a small, handwritten note explaining that he was sorry for everything and that they just needed to forget it all. He loved Marzia, after all, he was marrying her. Cry couldn't decide if this was more for him or for Felix himself.
So it was with a heavy heart that he put on his suit, fastened his ties, combed his hair, and perched his glasses on the bridge of his nose before heading out to the church.
When he arrived, Felix didn't say a word to him, only handed him his boutonniere, which Cry hastily fastened to his breast pocket. The photographer insisted there be a photo of the best man pinning a boutonniere onto the groom. Cry had simply blinked and did as he was asked, still never bothering to look Felix in the eye.
It wasn't until they were at the end of the aisle awaiting the bride that Felix looked over at Cry and mouthed, 'I'm sorry.'
Cry did not reply, staring straight ahead and swallowing the tight lump in his throat.
Marzia looked gorgeous and she was glowing. This was obviously the greatest day of her life. If only she knew the truth about her husband-to-be.
And it occurred to Cry that he could so very easily destroy all she ever wanted with only a few words.
But he wouldn't.
Just for tonight, he'd pretend like he didn't care.
A mere year later, nothing had changed. Felix was still married and Cry was still alone. Pewdiepie was still the most subscribed channel on Youtube and Cryaotic was not. Felix was happy and Cry was still heartbroken.
Nothing had changed, but at the same time, everything was different. He couldn't simply call Felix whenever he wanted. He couldn't play video games at ungodly hours with him whenever he wanted. He couldn't even talk to him anymore. Talking meant admitting they'd done something wrong for Cry and exploring dangerous territory for Felix.
Felix had never bothered to call or text Cry, therefore Cry hadn't tried either. But Felix was married, Cry was just a friend from his past and that was all he'd ever be. Cry knew he had to accept that, but he loved Felix. He did and he would never stop. This had only grown stronger after that beautiful disaster of a night of passion they'd had before the wedding. He'd had a small taste of what life with Felix would be like and he was addicted. He wanted so much more.
But instead, he could only sit and dream. Dream about what might have been.
That is, until there was a knock at the door.
Cry had given up hope long ago that Felix might just drop by for a visit someday, so he opened the door expecting a neighbor or perhaps even his sister or brother. It wasn't like he got a lot of company.
But sure enough, the beautiful Swede that Cry loved so much stood behind the door.
Cry had to bite his lip hard, so as to not allow the sob that was threatening to escape from his throat be heard.
"Felix?"
In the blue eyes, Cry saw the familiar sadness, but it had faded. There was a faint glint of hope, too. "I left her."
That was when Cry had sealed the gap between their lips, heart beating fast, tears slipping down his cheeks.
Finally, Cry didn't have to pretend.
He was truly happy and so was Felix.
Not just for tonight.
I hate this ending. I'm sure you all do, too. However, the words 'Just for Tonight' popped into my head yesterday and this happened...
