AN: Hello! I'm super excited about starting this story so I hope you all enjoy it. Please feel free to leave a comment or review, it really helps to keep me motivated to write. (updated).

Decide Your Destiny

Chapter 1: Where to from Here?

It was only half an hour after the doors of the ship closed and broke off the force connection between Rey and Kylo Ren. The look of his face ingrained into her memory, …intense remorse and sorrow.

Chewbacca was piloting the Falcon towards their new destination, one of the moons of Kashyyyk. They could temporarily hide out there while they restocked supplies from the planet, and avoided the Imperial army targeting them and endangering whoever was helping them.

Everyone in the resistance was preoccupied doing something. Poe was co-piloting with Chewy, while Leia was overseeing all of it. Finn was taking care of an injured Rose with tender affection. The sight of this was pure and caring, making Rey smile at them. When she turned away from the sight, a stabbing pain hit her in the heart and it throbbed.

She found the tiny engine room of the ship and decided to set up her sleeping quarters there. She made a cot for herself and settled in, she was physically and emotionally drained. Sleep seemed to evade her however, so she tried to focus her breath and meditate in an attempt to ease her stress.

She was visualizing the beautiful scenery she had seen back on Takodana. The abundance of water, forests of green trees that stretched out for miles, and the way the sunset glowed orange on the water as it fell.

She was staring off into the sunset, when thoughts of Ben came surfacing up like bubbles in simmering water. The landscape slowly began to dissolve away, and the air got still; it was as if the whole universe held its breath in silence. Suddenly, the sound of a heartbeat and slow ragged breathing crept into her ears.

"…Rey…"

"…Ben?..."

The image of Ben came into her vision. He was sitting on the bed in his personal quarters, wearing only his sleeping pants. His hands were covering his face, lips trembling, and chest slowly heaving up and down with tiny sobs here or there. He was crying.

Rey's heart throbbed in pain again, seeing him like this. She knew they were both to blame for each other's current misery. She wished she knew what to do, to make it better, make it ok. She was scared to talk to him, was he mad enough at her to kill her? She knew that he couldn't do anything through the bond so she attempted to build up the courage to say something. She failed miserably.

He inhaled deep and wiped his face like he was suddenly aware of her presence. "You're here." He slowly looked up into her eyes; his were red and full of despair. "I thought you would have completely closed our Force connection." His voice was gentle, surprised and at the same time, hopeful.

Rey gazed at him, it was one mixed of sadness and longing; she desperately wanted to end both of their loneliness. She just couldn't let go; turn her back on the first friends she'd ever had, because they were like family. "I wouldn't do that Ben, I care too much about you. I would miss you."

She didn't know why she said it, but it felt good to be honest about how much she was hurting after seeing him hurting the same way. "Ben? Can I ask you something?"

He was silent and face unreadable, she took it that he was debating weather or not to concede. "Yes."

"Why do you feel the pull towards power? Why are you so determined to be the Supreme Leader?" Her face and voice went from grief to anger, at the words 'supreme leader.'

He continued to look at her with sad eyes. His honesty came out in a quiet whisper; "I've been hurt all of my life Rey. Everybody who met me knew who I was and was terrified of me because of it. With true power no one can hurt me and I'll have the respect I deserve. I can end the war and the suffering it's caused. I can bring balance to the Galaxy. Rey…we could bring balance…together."

He sounds like the entitled prince Kylo Ren, just like in Snoke's throne room all over again, thought Rey. She pushed that thought aside because she was here to try to understand where he was coming from. She knew if they were going to move forward from this that they both had to work on their tempers, and he had been using restraint.

"I've told you Ben…I don't want to let the past die. I finally have friends and a place where I feel like I belong, a family. I've only just found that and I'm not abandoning it. Power isn't balance." Her eyes were welling up with tears; she wished he didn't see. "There will always be people unhappy with living under the Imperial Order. They will rebel against you, weather it's in ten years, or fifty…." She trailed off and tried to focus on the point she wanted to make.

"The only way to truly extinguish any resistance is to demolish what they are trying to rid the galaxy of. If the First Order were to collapse, than the resistance would be no more, and everyone would finally resume their normal lives." He listened to her point of view patiently; he desperately wanted to understand her.

"Ben, do you want to know what happened after the time we touched hands?" He looked questioningly at her wondering what she was getting at. She showed him through her memories; her confronting Luke, Her telling Luke that Ben was their last hope of winning the war, and that she was going to come to him because she knew that he would turn.

When the memories ceased, both of them were silent for a moment. "I believed in you Ben… I still do. I'll hold on to the hope that; you will stop caring about power and the Order, and come be with me instead."

"I can't just grab my things and abandon everything I've worked hard to create for myself here!" His anger was finally building up in him. "I'm in charge of so much now and it needs my direct attention. And it's not like your resistance buddies will welcome me there with open arms!"

He gave an exasperated sigh, "It's exactly the same as last time; neither of us is willing to give up on what we already have."

"Why the hell can't we?!" Rey was crying hard now, sobs making her shoulders shake. "I never knew what I was missing in my life until I got to know you, the real you…Ben. All I want is understanding, compassion, and companionship but now I see that I'll never have that… will I?"

His face was sorrowful at seeing her cry like this. She was pleading with her eyes for him to tell her otherwise; that what she was about to say was wrong. "I'll never get to have…you…"

The force bond disconnected.

She was back in the engine room on the Falcon with massive tears flowing down her face. She broke down and sobbed herself into slumber.

"I'll never get to have…you…" The words Rey said replayed repetitively in Ben's head. He lay down under his bed sheets and sobbed himself into slumber.