Not Like That!


Summary: Because the insane amount of slash in this section of the site is going to drive me nuts. Roxas discovers the internet, then Fanfiction, and all the crap therein. NOT SLASH.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Don't ask.


Roxas, Nobody number thirteen in Organization XIII, yawned and rolled off his bed. He had been laying on it for lack of anything better to do.

"Man, it is so boring around here. I wish I had something to do. Maybe I'll go to Twilight Town. " He muttered, and then headed for the door. He opened it, walked out the door way, and tripped over something lying in middle of the floor.

Summoning one of his Keyblades, he prepared to beat the living crud out of whatever had tripped him, then noticed the thing.

It was black, shaped kind of like a book. It took him ten minutes to figure out how to open it. Inside was a lit screen, and a bunch of little button, some with volume symbols, others with numbers or letters on them.

"What is this thing?" Roxas checked the outside for markings. "HP Notebook? What is that?" He looked at the page the screen was set on. "Windows Internet Explorer. Weird. I wonder what an internet is." He then proceeded to read the name on the page. "H T T P colon forward slash forward slash WWW dot Google dot com. What's a Google?"

It took an additional twenty minutes, but he figured out how to use the mouse. "Cool. Look at it fly around the page." As he was playing around, he hit one of the buttons underneath the little square mouse box. As soon as he did, the mouse vanished and a vertical blinking bar popped up in the search box.

"Wow. This thing is just strange." Starting to get stiff from sitting on the floor for so long, Roxas picked up the laptop and carried it back into his room. He sat down on the bed, set the computer in front of him and continued to play. Pushing the buttons with the letters on them entered them into the search box, so Roxas decided to try something.

"R O X A S," He typed his name into the search box, then hit the enter key. The page changed and came up with links to many other sites. The first was a page of spoilers for Kingdom hearts II.

"Cool! I do have a Somebody! And it's Sora! No wonder I have Keyblades. It all makes sense now."

He went back to the Google page and continued scrolling through the list of links.

"Hey, what's this? Main characters: Axel & Roxas. Hey cool! Somebody wrote a story about me and my best friend! I wonder what kind of adventures we get to have." There was momentary pause. "Akuroku. I wonder what that is." Roxas mused as he clicked on the link. Unfortunately for him, he was about to find out.

-

Roxas stared at the computer screen, a look of pure horror on his face. Occasionally, his right eye would twitch.

Then there came a knock on the door.

"C-c-c-c-ca-come, come in." He called, stammering around the horror he'd just seen, verbally described to horrendous perfection.

The door opened, and a spiky red haired Nobody came into the room. "Hey Roxas, do you want to go to Twilight Tow-." Axel, number eight in Organization XIII, never got to finish his sentence. Upon his entering the room, Roxas jumped up, screaming.

"I don't like you like that!" Roxas screamed, then he darted out of the room, turned right and ran down the hall, still screaming.

Axel stared at the door Roxas had disappeared out of. "What's wrong with him?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the laptop, sitting on the bed. "What's this thing?"

He walked over to the bed and sat down, then began looking at the webpage. "FanStories dot org. I wonder what…" He trailed off as he noticed the title of the fiction. "Pyrophobia? An Axel/Roxas Fanfiction? I wonder what cool adventures we get to have, and what kind of cool fire powered moves I get to use."

It had taken Roxas three minutes to figure out what the gist of 'Pyrophobia: the Fanfiction,' was. It took Axel about half that time.


Zexion was walking down the hall, heading towards what passed as the living room in the castle, when Axel burst out of Roxas' room and took off in the opposite direction Roxas had gone, nearly running Zexion over in the process.

Zexion rolled his eyes. Sure, the castle was white, but that didn't mean everyone had to go insane. He decided to go back to his room, where things made sense, and people wouldn't run him over.

As he turned and began heading back up the hall, he bumped into Demyx, who looked just as traumatized as Axel and Roxas had.

"Demyx, what in the world that never was is going-" Zexion began to ask what was going on, but before he could finish, Demyx interrupted.

Pointing at Zexion, he exclaimed, "I don't like you like that!" With that, Demyx turned and ran screaming in the other direction.

"What is wrong with everyone around here?" Zexion wondered. He sighed deeply and continued walking in the direction Demyx had gone, since the Cloaked Schemer's room was up that hallway.

As he walked towards his room, he tripped over something lying on the floor.

"Ow! What the…." Zexion muttered his voice trailing away as he picked up the object he'd tripped over.

"HP notebook? What does this thing do?"


T.A.R.N.S.: Don't ask...again. You probably don't want to listen to me rant. I've been looking back through a bunch of Kingdom Hearts stoies, and all the slash I keep having to pick through. I thought about making this a multi-chapter, but maybe not. Anyway, please review and tell me what you thought. Flames are accepted.