Author's note: WOO F**KING HOO! I finally got over my writers block so, yes, that deserves swearing(: last night, I was trying to sleep, listening to music and BAM. I had the perfect idea for story. I mean I think this might be my best work. I hope you guys like it and it is loosly based on the song "For all these times, son, for all these times" by Lost Prophets. In the beginning of each chapter, I'm putting a lyric from that song(: I hope you enjoy.

So can you feel your heartbeat racing? Can you feel the tension rise?

I was sitting against the head stone of Julia Mason(1) with the cold ground under me. Sometimes, it felt kinda weird- knowing that Julia's body was right beneath me, but usually I closed my eyes and pretended I was sitting on her bed watching her sleep like I always used to.

The cold cement was comforting now. It made it seem like she was really here.

My phone buzzed. I looked at the text message from Clare. I'm ready to come over, Eli, whenever you want to pick me up.

I sighed. I liked Clare. I liked Clare a lot. But she'll never amount to my Julia(2)

"Clare is helping me clean out my room, Jules," I said out loud, almost expecting an answer. "It's getting harder, though. Now that we have thrown at the pointless stuff, it's come time to deal with the stuff that reminds me of you. It takes a lot long and a lot more persuasion to get me to throw it away. I usually have to tell Clare the story behind it, then it's a little easier to say goodbye,"

I rolled onto one of my knees and touched the 'J' of the tombstone. As I closed my eyes, I felt the warm tears stream down my cheeks and fall of my chin. "I miss you, Jules," I whispered.

I don't know if it was my imagination or if there was a God, but the wind blew around me after I said that and I could smell her perfume.

I beeped my horn in front of Clare's house and she came running out, carrying garbage bags. When she got in, she greeted my with a tiny peck on the lips.

"Why are you so cold?" she wondered as I pulled out and began driving.

"I've been outside for about an hour,"

"Eli, you're gonna catch a cold. What were you doing?"

"Visiting Julia," I answered honestly. I heard Clare stifle a sigh and she looked out the window. I knew she didn't like it when I visited Julia, but I couldn't help it. After visiting her, it made it easier to throw some things away.

I didn't respond to Clare's sigh and just pulled into my driveway. I helped her with the garbage bags as we headed up to my room.

Within the past couple months, we had made a pathway to my bed and I was able to open the door all the way. I sat against my bed, next to a box that said Keep. Clare put the garbage bags next to the box and looked around.

"Where would you like to start today?" she asked.

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter,"

She sighed again and picked up a newspaper article. After reading it over she handed it to me. "See, this isn't junk. You can keep this,"

I took the paper from her and glanced at it. After I saw the picture and the words I had memorized, I closed my eyes and tried to get the images out of my head. Julia's obituary shook in my hand and Clare took it from me to put it in the box.

Keeping stuff was a lot easier than throwing it away, of course, but each thing we looked at made me think of Julia and that wasn't easy.

The next thing Clare picked up was a hairbrush. "You cant keep this, Eli, it's a hairbrush," she handed it to me so I could throw it away.

I took it from her, but just held it in my hands, touching the bristles. "I cant," I whispered, closing my eyes.

"Yes, you can, Eli,"

"No. It was Julia's,"

"You cant keep her old hairbrush. She's in your heart, Eli, not in a brush,"

I took in a deep breath and nodded. My hand was shaking terribly as I put the hairbrush in the garbage bag. It was like throwing Julia away. I felt like a tiny, tiny piece of me was gone.

I looked around the room and realized that all the stuff that belonged to Julia had become part of me. By the time I threw it all away, I'd feel empty. No Julia, nothing to remind me of her.

Clare put her hand over my hand. "Are you okay?"

"I just need a minute,"

"Do you wanna talk? About Julia? About the brush? I'm here," she promised.

I shook my head. "There's nothing to talk about. She brushed her hair with it. That's all,"

She nodded and squeezed my hand. "Do you wanna keep going?"

I nodded and picked up a candle off the floor. I looked at it and back at Clare. "Trash, right?"

"You don't need a candle. Did Julia give this to you?"

"N-no, I gave it to her," I whispered. "But, you're right, I don't need it,"

It wasn't as hard putting the candle into the trash bag. Julia never liked it, after all. We never even lit it. It just stayed on my dresser until things started piling up there, too.

Clare smiled. "It seems like it's becoming easier,"

I shrugged. "Some things. But other things are harder,"

"We can take our time,"

I nodded. "Thank you, Clare. I know this is hard for you. Just to sit here and wait for me to throw away things and hear stories about my ex-girlfriend,"

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I know this is hard for you. Julia meant a lot to you, that feeling just doesn't go away,"

I smiled at her. "Thank you," I repeated.

She leaned in and pecked me on the lips.

I sighed again and looked around my room, for something easy to throw away. All the things in my room just screamed Julia at me.

Author's note: bad? Good? What do you think? Let me know (:

(1) Julia Mason? I know what you're thinking…Spinner Mason. No matter what I always make Julia's last name Mason and it's a really long story. If you must know PM me and I'll tell you because it's just too long for an author's note.

(2) I have a VERY strong opinion on the Eli/Julia plot which is why this book is going to be pretty angsty. In my opinion, I think Eli should be a little more messed up over her death because I feel that he loved her more than Clare. Sorry if your opinion's different, but that's why they're opinions.

Reviews? Pleeeeeeeease?