Bricks, Clubs, and Other Dangerous Things You Find on a Miniature Golf Course

Bricks, Clubs, and Other Dangerous Things You Find on a Miniature Golf Course

"No." I stood firm on my decision.

"Why not?" Darn- his golden eyes made me melt into putty with just a sideways glance. But I put myself back together and remained sitting on the black leather couch, arms crossed, eyes focused on the upper corner of the room.

"Have you not learned anything in the year that I've known you? I suck at sports. Not only do I suck, I get injured. The school nurse now knows me by name!" I complained.

"So you're willing to go stay with vampires for a majority of your time, hang out with werewolves from time to time, but I bring up miniature golfing and you shudder like you've seen a ghost?"

"Yup."

"Is there something that happened when you were younger that involved mini-golfing?" Well, there was one incident at my friend Danielle's birthday when I was in fourth grade, where I accidentally gave Abby a black eye with my golf club. Needless to say, I wasn't carpooling with her to Girl Scouts anymore. However, I didn't want to bring it up- Emmett would just make another wisecrack. Everyone knew I was the klutziest person to walk the planet; why prove them even more correct?

"Edward," Alice walked in, rolling her eyes, "there's another story. She's just not going to tell you because she thinks that you'll think that she is the klutziest person in the universe and you won't trust her to be alone when you go hunting. She always has a story." When did she walk in? I really hated when she just walked in like that, and my stupid dull human senses couldn't detect when she'd walk and chime in.

"Actually, she's right," I admitted. "I'm not going into the story though, because it's a cliché story about a black eye. Anyway, Alice, would you trust me with a golf club, even if it weren't full sized?"

"Bella, quite frankly, I'm surprised they still trust you with a protractor in math class."

"That's not fair," I huffed. "I only poked myself with it twice!"

"Let's not go relive that, love," Edward said solemnly.

"Why miniature golfing anyway? What happened to baseball?"

"Last year." Alice and Edward answered at the same time, in a perfect harmony that choirs would kill for. But why… oh, right. I suppose once you nearly have a vampire attack, that kills the fun of anything. A pang of guilt suddenly overcame me; I didn't want to be the reason they quit playing baseball. Why was my blood so sought after, yet when I see it I nearly vomit?

"We had to find another sport, and we decided to enter the wonderful world of mini-golfing!" Alice beamed. "Windmills, painted dragons, astro-turf, and water hazards, oh my!"

"I thought the idea was to convince her to play, not to make it sound like a medieval torture chamber," Edward sighed.

"No, it does sound interesting," I tried to convince him. "I'm a sucker for a good painted dragon. When I was little I named the one at the local course Severus, and I tried to climb to the top of the head but…"

"What?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

"I fell off the dragon's wing into some cacti." I admitted. He smirked- typical. As long as Emmett didn't hear…

"Beware of the cactus patch!" Emmett boomed with laughter as he impossibly glided down the stairs with Rosalie soon behind.

"I thought it was cacti patch," Rosalie said with her high voice deeply contrasting with Emmett's laughter.

"No, one type of cactus in a patch is a cactus patch, and multiple types of cacti in a patch are a cacti patch. How many types of cacti were there, Bella? It's crucial to our understanding," said Alice, running her fingers through her hair.

"It doesn't matter when you wind up in the ER having needles removed from the lower half of your body," I muttered.

"So, are you coming with us?" Edward asked again. I squeezed my eyes shut to avoid the hypnosis of his gaze.

"Do you want to come home with a black eye?" I asked with biting sarcasm. All of them- Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Edward- burst into hysterics. Right… I was dealing with indestructible vampires. Whoops. And the idiot award goes to…

"Hey it could happen- you've never seen me play, and poor Abby's eye never was quite the same after that." I retorted, placing my chin in my hand while sighing.

"What if I had a foolproof method of making sure you don't wind up in the ER?" I peeked for one moment, just to see that crooked smile of his that made my heart melt every time I glanced at it.

"Go on," I said, defeated.

"And if I were wrong, you'll never have to play in one of our sporting outings again in your human life."

"No fair! You can read Alice's mind and Alice can tell what will happen and then I'll wind up going through this fiasco again and again!" I sulked.

"Which means that you will not end up in the emergency room. Today, at least."

"Or you know that I am going to end up in the ER and you just don't want to tell me."

"That could be. But there's only one way to find out."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"Nope."

"So you're just going to be pestering me for days and days until I do?"

"I'm patient- I'll wait until you say yes."

"And if I go?"

"You'll never have to go ever again if you have a horrible time and would rather fall off Severus the dragon into a cacti patch."

"It actually was a… cactus patch." Emmett danced around like he just scored a touchdown, while Rosalie just rolled her eyes.

"You game?"

"Fine. I'll go, but only just this once."

"All right then, follow me." Edward led me to the basement, and opened up the large metal cabinet. What the? Why was there…

"Oh, very funny, Edward."