Author's Note: I hope this sequel does RIP justice. I wasn't going to do one because I thought it might be better to leave the future open for interpretation instead of imposing my own vision. But my lovely Posey wanted one and who am I to deny? I was prompted to make it "angsty and shippy" so it turned into a bit of a sad story but one with a resolution.
I wrote this while traveling over the past couple of months, mostly on airplanes and during flight layovers. It was a relaxing experience. I appreciate everyone that read and/or gave me such helpful feedback on RIP and who keep this story universe alive. Thank you for reading and review if you're inclined.
Wish You Were Here
Danny and Mary had reached the shadowed entrance to the cemetery and they had some decisions to make. Still walking arm in arm, they relished the comfort they received from each other and didn't want it to end. At the same time, they knew that it would have to, and it might be better if that were sooner rather than later.
"So ..." Danny said standing next to the old wrought iron gate and returning to his earlier position of holding Mary's hand gently. "Can I perhaps interest you in some dinner in town?" His pleading expression was hopeful and tentative. There were a million reasons why they shouldn't go down that road. But what could it hurt.
Mary glanced back towards the large building in the distance, looking uncomfortable. She wanted to. More than anything. But was it safe?
He could see the excuse forming in her mind and was wracking his brain trying to find something, anything to prevent it. He didn't want to give her a chance to out and out reject him.
"Just dinner, I promise. It can be quick and painless and wherever you like. I just want to get to know as much of you as I can while we're here." Mary shook her head and opened her mouth to decline.
"Ok, coffee then," he cried, jumping in and cutting her off. "Or tea, if that's what you're into. Better yet, hot chocolate," he exclaimed excitedly.
Mary rubbed his arm gently while squeezing the hand that he still held in his strong grasp. "Danny, it's not safe for us to be seen together. I'm staying here until I fly out tomorrow and --"
He looked around nervously. "You're staying here with all of the ..." He couldn't even bring himself to refer to the terminally ill patients that were housed in the building down the long path in front of them. It reminded him that she had all too recently been one of them. He desperately wanted to know what had happened to have her standing next to him a year after she had supposedly succumbed to her illness. But at the same time, he didn't really care because she was alive and warm in his hands.
Mary sensed his discomfort and smiled sadly at him. "It doesn't bother me. I spent quite a bit of time here remember. And they do keep guest quarters for visitors." She looked around the pristine grounds with a kind of melancholy fondness. "It's peaceful here. Even surrounded by so much death, it's a hell of a lot more comforting than a lot of the places I've been before my time here." The hospital's mission was to create a peaceful environment and they were excellent at what they did. No other place, besides the short time she had spent with Danny and his father, had even come close to the contentment she had felt when she thought she was going to die here. There was something sobering and freeing about accepting death in a place like this.
"I understand," he replied, turning her attention back to his invitation. "But it's late. No one will be paying us much attention. I'm staying at the hotel in town and we can just have some coffee in my room if you're worried about anyone seeing us. I just want to hold onto you for a little while longer. You can't begrudge an old friend that can you? Please? Pretty please?" He gave her his most charming puppy dog eyes that he hoped still had at least a little bit of an effect on her. Judging from the grin that struggled to break free, he hadn't lost his touch.
Against her better judgement, she glanced at him and nodded, her signature smile now prominently displayed across her pretty face.
So they got into his car and drove into town. Over what turned into dinner and hot chocolate, they caught up on each other's lives. Danny told her all about his divorce that had left him a little sad, although he was glad that he and Delinda were still friends and adult enough to make a good home for Lilly. He caught her up on the lives of their friends and the developments in the city she once called home. He admitted to not being surprised that she actually didn't miss it as much as she had thought.
In turn, Mary told him of her long illness, although it was clear that it was a difficult subject for them both. When they had spoken and said their goodbyes, she really had been knocking on death's door. But a few days after, she had been approved to participate in the clinical trial of a new drug that turned out to be the next big breakthrough in medical research. It saved her life and gave her a second chance to do all of the things she had promised for herself.
However, one of her dreams was over for her as soon as she discovered the infection in her body. When she had finally stopped running after leaving Las Vegas, she had gotten a proper check-up which detected stage 3 ovarian cancer. Over the following months, she underwent surgery and advanced chemotherapy before giving into the reality that she was not going to survive the illness. Receiving the experimental treatment had been a miracle and she was beyond grateful for her continued recovery. But as a consequence, she would never know the joy of carrying a child or giving birth. It had been one of her most strongly-held desires and even after the disastrous string of relationships she had endured, she had never given up hope until the day she had received her diagnosis. Nevertheless, there were other options, even those made more difficult by her fugitive status.
Dreams have a way of taking new shape and form she told him with that endless and reliable strength in her eyes.
They talked throughout the night and into the earliest hours of dawn, catching up, reminiscing and enjoying each other's company after so many years of emotional and physical separation. As the first light of the day touched the morning sky, they both realized their time had to come to an end. Danny expressed how worried he was about her being out in the world alone but Mary assured him that she was more than capable of taking care of herself.
In what Danny counted as a victory for the home team, Mary gave him a Caribbean address that served as a contact for the two or three people who could get in touch with her. And while she further distanced herself from Ed since her "death," so as not to compromise him or herself, she did promise that she'd check in with him from time to time.
But it didn't feel like enough for Danny. After spending the best hours he could remember in years with the one person, save his daughter, that meant the world to him, Danny wasn't so willing to let her go again.
Their conversation had come to a comfortable silence. She stood and walked over to his window overlooking the serene beauty of the little town where she, Mary Connell, had died. Danny followed her, also admiring the beautiful view of the Swiss countryside as well as the exquisite woman who stood before him. Soon she would be gone and he feared that he would never lay eyes on her again. It almost felt worse than believing her to be dead and gone forever. His panic rose and he felt compelled to do whatever was necessary to keep her close.
Before he could second-guess himself, he gently turned her around, pulled her into his arms and brought his lips to hers in a passionate and desperate kiss. It felt like the right thing to do and her response to him sent chills up and down his spine. The feel of her was both old and new; comforting, yet exciting. Images of their past and the whispered hopes they had shared with each other long ago flashed in his mind. His emotions overwhelmed him at the taste and feel of her so long denied and he tried to convey all of the love he felt for her in his plea to keep her with him.
At first, Mary was shocked by the contact. She had anticipated it on an instinctive level but it hadn't had time to catch up with her brain. So when Danny tried to deepen his already heated kiss, she responded with an abandon of her own. She loved him deeply after all. The smokescreen of her death couldn't change that.
Soon after though, her brain did catch up and she slowly and sadly pushed away from him. The lingering taste of his kiss hung on her lips and they both felt the stark deprivation of the others' touch more acutely than either thought possible.
Danny tried to embrace Mary once again but she stepped back just of of his reach.
"I think I should go," she said and moved to grab her purse and coat.
But Danny was quick to catch up and grasped her arm to gently but insistently turn her around. "Don't run from this. Not after everything we've been through."
Mary let out a bitter laugh. "It's because of all that we've been through that I think I should leave."
"So now what? You disappear and I'm left wondering where the hell you are again?" Desperation and fear made his words seem harsher than he meant.
Mary turned around, a look of quiet anger overwhelming her usually soft features. "Again?" If I'm not mistaken, you were a little busy the first time I left. I'm sure relieving you of being responsible for me so you could focus on your new family was the best thing to happen to you." Danny made to deny her accusation but Mary put her hand up, her temper rapidly receding. "I'm sorry. That was rather bitter wasn't it?" She laughed but it lacked any humor whatsoever. "I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. You had other priorities back then. Ones that I'm sure helped you believe what you wanted to about what happened to me. And that is exactly what I was hoping for."
"You think you're not a priority?" Danny finally responded, uncomfortable with what she had just said and the truth of it.
"Not after I left, no I wasn't. You believed what you wanted to believe and focused on your family. I don't blame you for that. Really. But let's not let time and tragedy kid us into thinking there was more there."
Danny sighed with frustration and ran his fingers through his hair. "What about now? Why can't I work on some new priorities?"
Mary smiled at him in that way he had been so used to long ago but had forgotten in between the years of estrangement and loss. "I'm glad you're making new priorities. They just can't include me." She looked resigned but Danny wasn't going to give up easily.
He drew her hand in his and turned her to face him. He needed her to understand. "Don't you think there's a reason we ran into each other tonight? Fate brought us together. Don't you think we owe it a little gratitude?"
She shook her head in denial. "Maybe. But that could also mean we should stop tempting it. Danny, we were never very good together. I think being apart gives us at least half a chance to be happy." She sighed and turned away. "My heart has always reached out to you. But in my head? I'm sure your perception is different but I've spent the last 30 years of my life letting you tie me into knots. As much as I love you and as much as I wouldn't trade that, these days, I need to put myself first."
Danny couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I lost you once and it hurt more than almost anything in my life. I can't let you walk out on me."
Mary pulled her hand free and looked at him incredulously. "You lost me 'once?'" And which time are you counting? Was it the time you blew me off after sleeping me? Or was it the time you proposed to me under psychological trauma and then let me break it off when you got cold feet?" She was angry again at how short-sighted he was but sadly, not surprised. "Of course, there was that whole leaving town situation, the circumstances of which I'll be paying for the rest of my life. And not to mention the few other men I seriously dated while I watched you making your way through half of the Vegas and then some," she said, getting in his face. Her sarcasm knew no bounds when she was this agitated. "Oh! I think you actually meant the time you thought I died. It's nice that even though you were living happily ever after, you were able to spare a few extra thoughts for your poor friend." She was well aware that she was being unfair but her desire to run and disappear made her careless and her hurt made her bold.
"Danny, your problem was you never fought for us, not until now after you thought it was too late. It speaks volumes about what you really wanted. But I don't want your guilt or your baggage." She took a breath and relaxed a bit at seeing his stunned face. "I love you and I know you love me. But you were never 'in love' with me, not really, no matter how convenient it was to think you were at the time. I'm sure that hasn't changed even now."
"That's not true and you know it," Danny responded bitterly.
"Yes it is. And after all that's happened it's about time you admitted it to yourself. Stop playing the tortured best friend and respect me enough to take responsibility. I'm ready to do that and admit that you were right all along." Danny then looked at her quizzically as he watched a single tear roll down her cheek. "You always said that becoming romantically involved would ruin our friendship. And you were right."
More tears slipped from the corner of her clouded eyes as she took the painful steps of leaving him behind. "I meant what I said to you the last time we talked. I made a lot of mistakes too and I should have been strong enough to let you go. I should have been more willing to talk to you about how scared I was or kept myself from pressuring you with all of my expectations for us. But now it's time for us to move on and stop hurting each other because no matter how much we love each other or how close we've been in the past, we'll never be what the other needs. We'll always end up disappointing."
"Is that how you see me? How you see us? We've always protected each other, no matter what and now you're saying you need to protect yourself from me? How does that even work? For as long as I can remember, we've faced our demons together."
"But I was always the one left behind, wasn't I? Good 'ole Mary always waiting in the wings. Pathetic Mary waiting to be treated as second best; low on the priority ladder but good company when you can squeeze her in. No more, Danny."
"That's right no more. I can't believe what I'm hearing right now." He paced in front of her, full of agitation yet clearly processing her words as he considered their history together. "I'll admit that we didn't always make the right choices but I've only wanted what's best for you, to make you happy. Why can't you believe that?"
"I can. And I'm making it happen by staying away and not going down that road again. I'm not trying to be cruel or cold and I'm not trying to punish you. I'm being realistic because now more than ever, I can't afford to slip up. I'm being strong for once in my life."
He was silent for a moment, absorbing everything she had revealed. Their relationship had been complex, he didn't deny that. But he couldn't believe that she had doubted their friendship or his feelings in such a way. "You've always been the strong one. It's been me that's let you down," he admitted sadly, hanging his head in sadness and regret.
"Yeah Danny, you have. I can say that without denying it or feeling guilty now. But I've let you down too. And before you go off trying to rekindle old relationships, maybe you should think long and hard about why that is; why we keep doing it over and over again. Maybe its because we're not the endgame."
Danny was extremely frustrated with Mary but was at a loss at how to convince her. Maybe she was right and his panic at the thought of her walking out that door was actually just relief at knowing she wasn't dead after all. Maybe their failures were too much to overcome. But how could she not be feeling what he was feeling being together again? Silence followed their intense exchange with neither knowing what to say.
Mary finally tore herself away from Danny and slid her coat over her suddenly heavy shoulders. She knew he didn't understand why she was doing what she was doing. He probably thought she didn't feel the same intensity that he did. But he was wrong. She was doing this for the both of them. So she picked up her purse and headed towards the door.
"I'm fighting now," he called out to her across the room, voice full of desperation. He walked briskly to catch up with her but didn't move to touch her. "You said that I never fought for us? Well, I'm fighting now. I'm fighting for everything, or ..." he paused looking down before turning his steady gaze back to her. "... or anything."
Mary could see his determination; the way his eyes bore intently into hers; the firm stance and clenched palms, seemingly trembling with the need to touch her but refraining. It made her departure that much harder. Harder but inevitable.
"It's too late to fight for us. Right now we're both so overwhelmed and relieved and ... that's not being in love. It's done; Mary Connell is gone. There can be no more Mary and Danny."
And with a final glance filled with so many conflicting emotions fighting with her at every moment, she walked out of the door and out of Danny's life once again.
