Chapter 1 – Unstable Control
"Well…on the outside it looks like a good deal, but somehow I just don't trust it," the voice was snappish, sly, and failed to hide the suspicion completely.
"Why do you suspect us so?" the answer was quick, perhaps a moment too quick in this dim hall of flickering candles. "It's not like we won't benefit as well; in fact, you could easily say we're the ones getting the better of it here."
"Exactly why I don't trust it, this is all too smooth," the slant-eyed syndicate man thrust his face forward toward the pair. "Smooth isn't something you trust in this business."
This level of suspicion was a problem; the ninja needed the deal to go down as planned. They needed the man to take the package, to examine it on his own, away from the eyes of all the dozen or so thugs skulking about the hideaway now. That way, when they blew the four explosion notes inside the briefcase he'd be the only one to perish.
Yuugao kept her face carefully composed and maintained her silence. She was not to speak here, was simply standing in as a trophy symbol for her companion; a girl bought and owned body and soul to help complete the transformation of an ANBU member into a low-life distributor of illegal goods smuggled out of Konoha. It was not a role she relished, but it was necessary for this deception, to trick this cunning syndicate manager into trusting them just enough that he would receive a suitable punishment for pushing local smuggling enterprises just one step too far over the line. She despised the man before her, all his kind, and awaited impatiently the moment when they could destroy him and leave this blasted place.
"I would think you'd be more suspicious if things were improperly worked out," Yuugao's fellow ninja replied.
"Maybe," the syndicate man shrugged. "Maybe not. I really wonder how much you care about this. You don't seem to want it bad enough…it makes a man hesitant when there's not enough greed you see." He spread his hands wide to encompass the various thugs lounging about. "Greed is something I can trust you know, this whole world revolves around it, and you can always understand it as a motive. You should be salivating from your greed, but I'm not sure you are…"
Yuugao felt a spike of irritation sweep through her, not easily kept from her expression. This man had just enough cunning to be a nuisance, to stretch things out and make them longer and harder increase the chances of a mistake, to create difficulty where there should be simplicity.
"And what, exactly," the ninja speculated back. "Would prove my greed to you?"
Something about that line struck Yuugao as the wrong move, ceding the initiative to the syndicate man, allowing him more control than he should possess over the moment. After all, he truly was salivating over the proposed over, they needed to keep him off balance. Nevertheless, Yuugao could say nothing against it, she was held silent in the moment.
"Hmm…I wonder," the syndicate man stepped back slowly. He twitched his fingers together and stared off into one of the many flickering candles flames. Then suddenly his eyes, narrowed to slits, darted back to stare blatantly at Yuugao. "A pretty thing this one," he gestured casually, sloppily. "Exotic and fine I must say. Cost a fair bit I gather. A fair bit indeed." He mimed calculating by shaking his head slightly. "Nothing on this deal though, nothing at all. Prove your greed was it? Yes, I like that, proof of greed." There was a long, slow pause as the syndicate man moved slowly toward the pair again. "How about this: kill the girl right here and I'll pay ten percent more."
Something dark, hard, and hot took hold of Yuugao's senses.
"What?" the ninja replied in foolishly honest shock.
"Come, it's not like she's someone worth mourning over," the syndicate man laughed with terrible cruelty. "And if you actually care for someone like that, you're just as forgettable."
In an instant, a long and terrible instant without end, the scenery of the present disappeared, and Yuugao saw only saw something else. A red and ravaged image, slashed and scourged and yet instantly recognizable. Forgettable? Forgettable! No!
Whiplash quick Yuugao burst into motion. Her right leg shot forward, twisted, wrapped, and pulled, dropping the syndicate man down, bringing him toward her. Her hands slashed forward at the same time, chakra raging down her limbs. She grabbed both sides of the skull and with that enhanced strength and a burning, all-consuming rage flexed her muscles and snapped the head to the side.
A sickening crack could be heard as bones moved in ways they were never meant to move, and a life was snuffed out.
"Hells!" Yuugao's ANBU companion spat, and then his sword, the simple short blade he'd worn as part of his disguise, was in his hand. The man reassessed the situation rapidly. "Can't leave witnesses!" he proclaimed, and advanced with a terrifying grim expression.
The poor thugs, completely blindsided by what had happened, took a moment to react, but then charged, brandishing their jumbled assortment of blades clubs, and spears.
Yuugao fell back on her training and instinct. Moving like a blur she slashed in and struck a man under the jaw with her left hand, dropping him to the floor and easily taking his short blade into her right.
Then the killing really began.
The two ANBU moved among the thugs with fluid, ridiculous, hideous, ease. They were wolves feasting on confused and disoriented foxes, not a contest at all.
Blood splashed and sprayed, covering Yuugao's face and staining the pretty clothes of her disguise as she opened throats and veins with the savage little tanto she'd acquired. The warm, slick red soothed her temper and made her feel utterly disgusted, but there was no time to think, not until the task was done.
It was all over in a few moments and Yuugao's hand came off the blade as she plunged it into the back of the final thug, all her feelings surging in chaos; her body sticky and stained.
Her companions feelings were obvious more simplified and focused and they burned through his face. Anger and disgust in equal parts, and all directed at Yuugao.
"Gods and demons Yuugao!" he shouted. "What was that?"
"I…I…" Yuugao stumbled, her thoughts completely disordered, her mind unfocused. "It just…he just…" she sighed, there was no reasonable explanation she could give, that much was obvious even as voices warred in her brain and demanded attention. "I have no excuse," she said at last.
Seeing through a red haze Yuugao could tell this answer was not enough to satisfy her fellow ninja, but he seemed to recognize no greater answer would be forthcoming for now. In this gruesome scene nothing remained. The ninja took several deep breaths and spoke again. "Alright, worry about it later. For now, mission complete, the target's dead," he proclaimed. "Now we need to torch this place to hide the evidence and sneak out of here until we can get the blood off. So let's get to work."
Yuugao nodded and the two ANBU set to the task of moving bodies about and laying tinder and oils to create a conflagration. The work was grim and horrid, creating a deep seated foulness throughout the body that the battle's red coat only exacerbated, but it could not be avoided. Indeed, in some way Yuugao relished this visceral agony, for it distracted her from the internal woes and turmoil, but only imperfectly. Always they lay only a single idle thought beneath the focus of the present, the horrid cause and pain she could not escape.
The work was soon done and the ninja retreated under the cover of flickering flames, slipping away to dunk their bodies into a river and thence return to the path home.
As they walked back there was silence between the two ANBU, each keeping the darkness of the day to themselves. Yuugao struggled to keep her mind only on walking to not dwell on the many dead who warred for her attention, including the one face that would never go away, for it was the one she longed to see more than anything else, and yet dreaded most of all.
Only once did her companion speak during that journey. "The reasons don't really matter to me Yuugao, but once the report's in you're going to have to answer to Tsunade," he told her. "So you'd better sort yourself out, understand."
She had simply nodded, having nothing to say. There were no answers. Yuugao had always believed she was all right, healthy. She had grieved, she had gained her measure of vengeance and closure, she had done all the things she was supposed to do, and yet somehow the past would not leave her alone. Just as he had been the trigger in life, now the ghost of Gekkou Hayate was her trigger in death, and she could not find a way past it.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself? Anything?" Tsunade was not shouting, probably, but her voice was loud enough to match the shout of many people.
The Hokage was on her feet, never a good sign, and had Yuugao pinned with a baleful, wrathful stare.
Yuugao did not wince or flinch as some weak-kneed genin might. She stood firm and unmoving. Tsunade's anger was a fearsome thing indeed, but it seemed to role over Yuugao as if she was not there. It was a new experience, and not a pleasant one, but there was little the Hokage could do in this situation to impress the ANBU captain. She was only too well aware of her own fault now.
"I have no excuse, Hokage, sir," Yuugao repeated the explanation she had given her fellow ANBU member, and recalled the scent of blood even now. "I failed to maintain my composure and restraint and allowed emotion to overwhelm me and jeopardize the mission and create highly unnecessary casualties. There is nothing more to say." There was not after all, Tsunade could say nothing with more power than the memory of the bloody bodies of the thugs and the red stains on Yuugao's hands. It was not within the power of another to make her despise her own actions further.
Tsunade, shaking her head slowly, sank into her chair. She put her right hand to her forehead and sighed. "You do realize there needs to be something, don't you?"
"I don't understand," Yuugao answered, and she did not really get the meaning of that statement.
"Do you want to be suspended? Forcibly retired maybe?" anger and power crept back into Tsunade's mighty voice. "This is the most severe incident but it's not the first one Yuugao. You've been erratic since before I even came back. Your 'failures to maintain composure' are hardly isolated." Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "So give me something to work with here."
"You already know my personal situation, sir," Yuugao answered, knowing this to be true. There was no need to give an explanation again.
"Of course I do," Tsunade snapped. "But that's not good enough!" She slammed her fist into the desk, causing a sizeable dent in the wood. "Tsk," Tsunade looked at the unfortunate piece of furniture. "We all have suffered from recent events. Sure, you lost your lover, but there's hardly a ninja in this village that doesn't have dead friends or family. I expected better of you. You're ANBU Yuugao! You should be the last ninja with these kinds of problems."
There is was again, the base fact. Hayate was gone. It was a simple thing, but somehow Yuugao found it impossible to face. She should be able to, she had lost friends before, but somehow it seemed that her whole life had fractured in that moment. She had tried to put the pieces back together, but it just wasn't working. "You are quite correct," she answered bitterly, letting her own anger show. "I should be able to deal with it. I thought I had dealt with it, but apparently that is not the case. What kind of excuse do you want?"
"Alright, alright, enough!" Tsunade crossed her hands together before her face. "The simple fact is you are unstable Yuugao. You're not able to fulfill the requirements of your current missions, to act as an ANBU must without incurring too great a risk. I can not allow another bloodbath like the one yesterday. So, what do you suggest I do with you?"
Yuugao wondered if Tsunade really wanted her to offer an answer. After a moment she recognized that she probably did. "Well, sir, I suppose you could suspend me, but Konoha cannot spare any ninja right now, no matter how erratic, our loses were too great. So I don't know…" an idea suddenly occurred to Yuugao, and it seemed a reasonable one. "You could send me to my death of course. I'm sure you have a suitable mission where I could die gloriously and still accomplish something for the village."
"Hmm…you still think like an ANBU when someone forces you I see," Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "But I won't send you off to die, at least, not unless you do something stupid." She shrugged slightly. "I will, however, get you out of Konoha. I don't want you associated with the Leaf right now Yuugao, you're too dangerous to yourself and others. Besides, maybe a change of scenery will help."
This was unexpected, and the ANBU kunoichi stood silent for a long moment. "You are…sending me away?" she asked at last. It was a foreign thought, she had lived her whole life in Konoha, only leaving for missions, and she had rarely traveled very far during the whole twenty-two years of her life, and never by herself.
"Yes," Tsunade's answer was absolute. "I have a mission that will work for this purpose," she reached into her desk and pulled out a thin folder. "Here," she handed it over to Yuugao, who walked forward stiffly to take the file. The ANBU ninja did not yet even glance at it.
"The gist of this is simple," Tsunade explained. "There's a man the village would like to disappear," Tsunade used the obfuscating term, Yuugao, like all the ANBU, had already learned that their new Hokage hated dealing directly with assassinations. "He's gone to ground somewhere in Rain country. Go and coordinate with the Rain ninja to track him down."
"Coordinate with the Rain ninja?" Yuugao couldn't keep the surprise from leaching into her voice. Rain was nominally Leaf's ally, but not a strong one, and ANBU never coordinated with any outsiders.
"You'll go as an ordinary ninja, not ANBU," Tsunade explained flatly. "You're not serving on any ANBU assignments until I chose to allow it. I wouldn't have you coordinate except we've already tried to find this man and failed several times. It's all but impossible to find anything it that jungle it seems," Tsunade shrugged again. "Especially if you're trying to hide from the rain ninja at the same time."
"I understand," Yuugao replied, though she wasn't happy. Coordinate with foreigners? It was ridiculous. She could have done this herself, without a doubt.
"Good," Tsunade directed. "Leave tomorrow morning. Make sure you re-familiarize yourself with Hidden Rain's data before you leave."
"Of course Hokage, sir," Yuugao saluted, though her heart was not in it. She didn't want this mission, didn't want to be sent off into some sort of temporary exile because of her failures. It was not that punishment was not deserved, there was indeed no defense for her failure, but this, this was not right, it was too different. Despite this inner vacillation, there was nothing to be done but agree. No ANBU could refuse a mission from the Hokage. Deep down Yuugao tried to foster some tiny hope. Perhaps Tsunade was right, perhaps it would be good to leave Konoha for a while, to leave the legacy of battle behind and go to a place where no one knew her or her circumstances. She was far from convinced, but she tried to foster the little spark of hope, for otherwise the endeavor was doomed from the start.
With this resolution in mind Yuugao's course changed after taking her leave of the Hokage. She headed not toward her small apartment, but further afield, to the edge of the village. The path was one she knew intimately now, but she rarely went their in the afternoon, or without bringing flowers; neither mattered at the moment. This was for the sake of the mission, for the sake of that little hope. The ninja would face her grief now, so when morning came she would walk out of the village and into the west without coming this way. It would be a clean break.
The monument was a stark thing, a simple plinth of rock in a roughly prism shape. It was dark stone, carefully balanced on a single support and adorned only with the names of the dead, nothing more. Flowers in various states of preservation clustered around the base now, for many people had come throughout the recent weeks, always observing the many lost in the pointless violence that had claimed so many lives from the great Sarutobi to Yuugao's own Hayate, to many others. Some of those flowers were likely her personal offerings, but it was no longer possible to tell.
Yuugao always saw Hayate's face when she looked at that stone, never anyone else's, even though she had known many who perished in the violence. As always she wondered why it had happened, and why she had loved him in the first place.
They had been old friends of course, had grown up together in the same neighborhood of Konoha, but the village was small, such was a common thing. She had lost track of him when she went into ninja training, had not met him again until she was fifteen, when they were both chunin. The two had worked together briefly as chunin, but she had become an ANBU member and Hayate had not and that should have been the end of it. Somehow it hadn't been. Yuugao could never say why. She had not been initially attracted to Hayate, for he was a fairly shy, unassertive person while she was the opposite. That had eventually changed. Maybe it was her failed relationships within the ANBU, maybe it was his willingness to listen to her troubles and not demand the secrets of her role, maybe it was many things, but the two had come together deeply and closely.
Neither one had ever voiced it, but Yuugao knew Hayate had been thinking about marriage, had been considering things in his careful, practical way before daring to breach the question with her or their parents. Had he asked her she was sure she would have said yes, but he had never gotten the chance.
She had not been in Konoha that night; had been on a mission in the northern Fire country. It was something she regretted terribly. Intellectually it was obviously not her fault, and there was nothing she could have done even had see been in Konoha, but somehow it seemed like a failure only to learn he was dead three days later. Yuugao simply could not reconcile herself to that fact, or to Hayate's mangled form, or never learning who had been responsible for his death. Oh, the ultimate blame could be laid squarely on Orochimaru, but it had not been his hand that did the deed, someone else had been responsible. The investigation had never been completed, the committee had simply dropped the matter following the attack, partly because it was obvious Orochimaru had orchestrated the whole thing, but Yuugao knew another, darker reason was there. They had not wanted to blame the Sand. It had been one of them; she knew that, no sound ninja used those wind techniques.
Yet the Sand must not be blamed. They were allies again, allies a wounded Konoha desperately needed, and it could never be said to be the Sand's fault. Besides, Orochimaru had been pulling their strings, had worn the face of their own Kage, they were not to blame. Yuugao understood this, but it created a dark, chilling void in her. Orochimaru was too distant from the crime, but the immediate hand was not at fault, so Hayate's death lay squarely on no one, and that wasn't enough for her. She needed a vessel for her rage, a place to pour out the resentment that lingered even now. Orochimaru's poor sound stooges had not been enough, no, not at all.
Looking at the monument, Yuugao's anger slowly dissipated and seemed foolish. She knew it was not what her lover wanted, could almost here the words he would have said. It only moved her almost to tears. "I'm so sorry," she whispered to the dark stone. "I have to go away for a time. Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to face you when I come back."
With this she slowly turned away, resisting desperately the overpowering urge to look back, to see the face lingering above that stone. She must get used to it now, being without such a reminder. In the jungles of Rain there would be no such solace.
Chapter Notes:
It is unclear whether or not Konoha has proven Baki was responsible for Hayate's death. Regardless, that information has not been shared if available, so Yuugao does not know and will never know.
