Discclaimer: The Hunger games I have no connection, affiliation or rights too and any reference to parallels goes to Kittycatfish. Stephanie Meyers weaves a good tale so you all should read her stuff, even though Cato dies first it's still a good series. Forgive any referances to other stories and/or religion as it is not my intent to offend or place any views onto you.
Summary: After the events of Parallels take place Peeta realized how foolish he was. He's left to wallow in his sadness alone, or will things turn out the way he wants?
Peeta's PoV
As we grow up; is it not true that our stories are those of heroes, love, trust and friendship? Well my story, the story of Peeta Mellark has only shown me antagonists masked as the hero, faked love to save life, misguided and fabricated trust and the throwing away of bonds between district partners for the false love I chose in its stead. I killed my district partner, the girl with the family of two who will forever be alone because of me. I came back; instead of sweet death though, I was greeted with nothing. My family, meaning my mother, publicly disowned me after the scenes of Cato and I began. They only watched for Katniss as I was told and I knew that I deserved it. I sacrificed the honor of my district, well what little honor we had, to be with the one that stole my heart. I deserve to be in the ninth circle of Hell, Satans teeth gnawing at every single fiber of my body and allowing me to feel eternal pain. It would be so much better then how I am living now.
I finally decided to interrupt my inner monologue and sat up from my single bedroom in my new house. I now lived alone in Victor's village, from time to time I allow the occasional Seam citizen to stay in here for the nights that are just too cold to be out. I gave a portion of my monthly winnings to the district carpenters to fix houses in the seam, I designated extra services for the Everdeen and Hawthorne houses. When I felt the sadness reach a dangerously high level, I went to hunt. I requested weapons from the Peacekeepers and after getting permission from the different channels I had gotten a steady supply of knives, a double edged sword, a spear and a pair of boots.
Peacekeepers here really didn't care very much, I could go on a killing spree with these things and they still probably wouldn't care. They'd kill me for good measure, but still they would show no interest in the district as a whole. The electric fence is the boundary of Panem, meant to keep us in and to never know what's past our borders. I constantly wonder what's out there and if I should just go, but I don't deserve death or to know the potential joys of the outside.
I stripped and noticed the muscles I had in the games were more visible and I was clearly more cut; I requested a gym in my home as well. I put on a brown shirt and brown pants to have a little camo than left my house for the woods. The knife belt tied around my hip was clanging with every step and I tried hard to focus on that while I passed my families bakery. I also passed the Hawthorne house now, Gale also getting ready for his hunt. I waited for him to catch up with me as today was the day he was going to teach me how to use a bow and arrow. He found me the first time I slipped through the fence and we had a very heated confrontation the first time.
FLASHBACK
I was slammed against a nearby tree and was eye to eye with the now crazed Gale Hawthorne. The boy had black hair that was messy yet perfect, muscles that were comparable to Cato's and gray eyes that seemed to currently be darker then what they usually are. He must have seen me come in and was pissed off that I would ever show myself in Katniss and his territory. He locked my arms above my head with one hand and punched me in the gut with the other. I would be doubled over in pain right now, but Gale held me up to the tree and moved his hand to my throat. He squeezed and I gasped for air, but then I thought about Katniss and refused to struggle.
"Why aren't you struggling!? I thought you wanted to live, isn't that fucking shit you gave Katniss up for gonna want you to be alive!?" He screamed at me and his hand loosened a little so that I could breathe. Something kicked inside me, a feeling I felt in the Hunger Games as the mutts chased me. It was a mix between fear, anxiety and the will to live. I finally began to struggle, that's when I looked at Gale's face and it caused me to stop struggling again.
His face was full of pain, sadness and confusion. Looking closer at his features, I noticed that his eyelids were sagging and they were clearly bloodshot and puffy from crying through the night. Once I stopped I felt his hands tighten around my neck again and I smiled.
"Why are you smiling!? Are you retarded, I'm about to kill you. Don't you think that fucking blonde career is gonna miss you!? I should do it, and then he can feel like I do when you two killed Katniss." Gale in his madness was reaching for knife and with my smile I giggled a little. Who was the crazed one right now, was it me? "Did you just fucking laugh, what, think I can't kill your traitorous ass?" He moved his knife so that it was mere inches from my throat.
"Thank you." I began to lean into the knife, hoping that I could finally end the pain of being so stupid and used. I should have realized sooner, I should have lashed out and beaten the life out of Cato, I shouldn't have lived. With all that in mid I felt the knife pierce my skin, it hurt a little but nowhere near as much as my heart was.
"What the fuck Peet!?" He moved the knife away quickly and let go of my arms. I instantly fell to my knees and began sobbing uncontrollably.
"Why couldn't you end it for me Gale. Please, it was all a lie. It was never real. I killed the love of your life for something that was fake, Gale please kill me!" Instead of a knife to the heart, I felt a fist connecting to my face and I looked at Gale stunned.
"Why the fuck would I kill you, are you an idiot?" He reached for my hand and pulled to my feet. "I'm pissed Pita bread yes, but I could never kill you. You're the only thing I have left aside from my family." He said with a sigh as he pulled me for a hug I was the most confused person in the world right now. He was just beating the crap outta me, and now he's hugging me. Wait.
In an instant I grabbed his shoulders, twisted and threw him over me hard enough he landed with a thump and a confused look on his face. "It's not gonna happen again. No, you're not gonna trick me like Cato did." Gale looked confused as I was about to leave and go back home to sulk again. He grabbed my leg and pulled, I fell face first and my forehead hurt quite a bit. Things were a little fuzzy when I felt arms snake under my shoulders then put me in a headlock.
"Mind explaining? Also, don't ever fucking do that again or I'll break these pretty little arms of yours. Oh one more thing." He moved so that I could feel his breath on my ear and made me a little bit uncomfortable about this whole situation, and what he's about to say. "I never said I was straight and in love with Katniss."
FLASHBACK END
Just like that Gale found out about how Cato had used me to the games and how he had a boyfriend back in district 2. He understood and figured that I was in enough pain without him having to constantly beat me up, which he restrained to punching and shoving from time to time. He flirts quite a bit, he keeps it to a minimum as I told him that I definitely wasn't looking for anything, as well as the fact that the whole of Panem knows I'm in a thing with Cato. When he found out about Cato, he began with an 'I knew he was a liar!" then he comforted me.
"Hey Peet, ya ready to go?"I nodded and Gale came to walk next to me. I'm sure it looked like we were going out, we've spent basically every day together for the past 2 and a half months. Gale would go into the Mellark bakery under my request and buy something from them every week, I told him to buy my favorite pastry and to buy whatever he wanted as well. "Here ya go, a baked sweet roll for you and for my family I bought 2 berry scones. Do you mind that I spent it all, I figure you were expecting change?"
"Its fine, I'm glad you're not being such an ass about me giving you and your family some money now though." Gale was adamant about not accepting any money from me, eventually through getting him the money through secret and sneaky ways, he gave in. He knew I would get it to him somehow, so he figured that upfront is the best way. He lightly punches my arm and chuckles as he swings his arm around my shoulder.
"Well Pita bread, it was a 5vs1 argument. My family said that since you were so willing to help and being so kind, I needed to do whatever I could to help you. My mother said that if it meant staying the night making sure you're safe and healthy she'll allow it." His mother knew Gale was gay and that he openly flirted with me so there wasn't much hiding that. She said I'd make him very happy, but just like any parent, minus my own; she told him rules and restrictions on what he can and cannot do.
"You only have this year left for tesserae. I don't mind you working for me, or letting me give you a portion of my money so that you don't have to go in there." By 'there' I meant the coal mines, even if I never have to go there, I'm terrified of the place. I was there only once as a kid, after the incident where the mine collapsed and killed Gale and Katniss' father. My family was to bring food and aide to the victims that were still alive and provide a little food for the family until they were cleared to receive tesserae. I saw the terrible state of the mines, their workers and the scene that nowhere neared the scene I saw during the blood bath.
"I don't think I'm okay with that much assistance, sorry Peet." He said with a sigh and I knew I would be able to convince him eventually. We arrived at the fence and listened in for the buzz of electricity, nothing. He pushed apart a section we had cut out and I went through first.
The forest was beautiful as usual; lavenders, tulips, marigolds, camellia's and so many more were present in the fields outside of district twelve. It was so pretty, Gale even convinced me to sit with him in those fields before. Katniss had a favorite flower, it was the Primrose. You don't need to really guess why it was her favorite; Gale likes Marigolds. He said he likes the blend of color the flower has and says that it reminds him of Katniss a little.
While he said he wasn't in love with her, the two were inseparable and I took that all away from him. I could feel myself frowning as Gale came through the fence and quickly went to look for the hand crafted bow Gale had made for me to practice with. I could feel the work he had done with the weapon; it was smooth to the touch, flexible and light weight. I was waiting by a nearby tree when he finally came back with a quiver full of arrows.
"Alright Peet, I got some boxes and stuff from Madge, you're gonna be using those for my knife training alright?" I nodded as I had agreed to teach him how to throw knives, if I picked up anything from those games it would have to be the fact that I was often shown by Clove how to throw these. Whether it was because they were directed at me or someone else, I had managed to copy and get really good at it. "Your target for today is to have an arrow land there."
He pointed to a nearby tree with three circles painted on them, it was clearly used as it had several chunks and ticks missing from it. I readied myself like the Game makers and Katniss had shown me fired away. I had managed to hit the outer circle, Gale whistled as he probably didn't expect me to hit the target at all on my first try.
"I copied from the best." I said with a slight smile. I wasn't completely comfortable with saying her name; I didn't have the right as the one who had killed her. He chuckled as I readied myself for another shot. This time I waited for Gale's input and he strides towards me with a devious smile on his face.
"Well she learned from the best too. Your elbows slouching, keep it in line with the target and the arrow. Don't tilt your head so much, it'll get in the way of the arrows aerodynamics. Shoulders straight to the target, then fire away." He corrected me with his hands and I knew he was enjoying the fact that I'm allowing him to touch me. It sounds innocent but for me, the only thing I'm comfortable with is the arm slung around my shoulder. I let the arrow fly; I felt the air whiz past my cheek and landed in the center of the target.
"I-I did it!" I jumped and threw up my arms happily as Gale was clapping. I smiled and let go of my inhibitions and jumped into his arms for a well-deserved hug. His arms tightened around me a little bit and we stayed there for a little while, that is until we heard twigs snapping. Gale quickly pulled me behind a tree and scanned the area.
A couple feet away from us was something completely unheard of in the history of district twelve; a herd of deer. Not just two or three of them, but at least 10 of them! Gale made sure that my mouth and face was buried in my face so that we made no noise. We unfortunately must have stayed still for close to an hour and it was getting very hard to breath. I heard galloping finally and Gale released me from the death hug and I took a deep breath in as quietly as I could. The deers had already scattered and I glared at the grinning Gale.
"I could've died in your chest damnit!" I could feel my face heat up a little and he was now laughing his ass off. I pouted and pulled out two knives. Grabbing them by the handle, he was closer so I don't need a full turn with the blade; I threw them so they'd sail right past his head. They whizzed past him and he stopped his laughing as they impacted with the tree behind him.
"It's your turn to be a student now." I smiled a toothy grin and he visibly became more nervous.
Cato' PoV
It's been two and a half months since I was last with Peeta and I'm very conflicted right now. I never get like this; I am CATO for god's sake. I used the boy for the whole Hunger Games and didn't feel any remorse for what I had done during the time. When I got back, my boyfriend immediately confronted me about it, I told him the honest truth of the time and he rode me like a pony for the next week every day. Cheyne was a muscular boy who was as tall as I was where Peeta had fit perfectly in the crook of my neck, he was awkwardly around my eye level and it was harder to cuddle.
We were not really allowed to be affectionate in public, so to hold up the charade Cheyne got another boyfriend named Cameron. Cameron was scrawny but agile and specialized in knives like Clove. The plan was to make our dates seem like friendly outings, it was working obviously as right now we were sipping coffee at a café outside of the victor's village comfortably. Cameron had no idea of Cheyne and I or the fact that he was just a fuck toy for Cheyne to top once in a while. Now that I say this, what kind of monster am I?
"So Cato, word around the street is that Snow is allowing you to visit Peeta in a week." I nodded my head, Snow called my house and informed me of the arrangements. It's going to be a surprise for Peeta though, I'm silently hoping that Peeta will run into my arms and kiss me the moment I see him. It's not going to happen though, not after the crappy way I ended it. He should have clocked me in the jaw right then and there, I definitely deserved it. "Honey stop zoning out, god I know you hate the little slut to but you can't kill him remember."
"Yeah you're right; the slut really just wanted my dick anyway. I fucked him once and he came back for more without even realizing it was me. I felt so dirty though babe, fucking had to do it though." Tough abusive Cato mask was out now; the real Cato was stabbing himself with every single one of those hurtful things that he had said about Peeta. Cheyne cackled, yes he cackles not giggles, then sipped his coffee.
"So what, we have a week, you better fuck a good ass a lot before you have to fuck that dirty 12 ass again." He began rubbing his knees to mine and I smirked, inner Cato was vomiting. How the hell am I supposed to know what's right two sides of me think the other is wrong? Which one do I believe?
Peeta's PoV
Gale and I had spent a week practicing our skills, he could hit a squirrel from 10 yards away with the knives and I was now able to hit the birds and pigeons that would try and fly away. The herd of deer would come by every so often, gaining numbers every time they did. If they're rate of growth continues, Gale and I could probably snag a buck every month for years. Gale wouldn't need to work in the mines then, and I could help him sell off the meat to the capitol workers.
Today was Rory's birthday and I had prepared a special cake for the family, I made it smaller than usual and Gale argued with me making it every step of the way. I refused to listen as I got my cake flour and ingredients already being mixed in a bowl. I painted a picture of a beautiful flowery meadow on the cake when I finished icing it and I had to say it was one of my better works.
"Peeta that's beautiful, I have to pay you back for this." Gale fumbled around in his pocket when I held up my hand to stop him.
"Your family has been kind to me while mine has not; I invited the Everdeens over as well. They declined my offer so I would greatly appreciate if you could bring them the pieces I have set aside for them." I explained and all Gale could do was smile. Over the week we would constantly compete over who could get more hits with the others weapon, I won in air game but he demolished me in the land game. Just like that we were basically inseparable and I would sometimes smile genuinely again. "Come on I'm sure they're waiting."
With that we left, we made it to his place after a few minutes and thankfully it was cold enough so that my special buttermilk frosting didn't melt. Gale had bought Rory's favorite soup from Greasy Sae for the family and they had probably finished not too long ago. I really hope they have room for dessert, I know that Hazelle will probably kill me for this but I had too. Their whole family hasn't had a cake from before so I figure I'd start Gale's new friendship with me by bringing them cake. No one can be mad while they eat cake, it's just not possible.
"Rory, guess who just brought you one of the best gifts in the world?" Gale said as we entered Gale's small house in the Seam. The small boy excitedly jumped into Gale's arms, who swung him around to reveal the cake that I had in my hand. His eyes lit up at it and I couldn't help but give him a gentle smile, he was the cutest little boy I had ever seen and had a good heart. I'll protect that innocence no matter what I have to do.
"Gale! I-Is that for me?" He was shocked and I saw Hazelle glaring and putting her hands on her hips as she saw it. Gale nodded and I set the cake on the family table for his brothers and sister to see. Rory and Vick looked like younger versions of Gale's father while Vick thankfully looked like her mother. I quickly cut everyone pieces, setting aside three for the Everdeen family.
"Thank you so much Peeta. I wish we could repay you somehow, but we can't and I am so sorry." Hazelle said as she was bowing her apologies and I was shaking my head every time she did. She was such a kind and caring mother, she is almost the exact opposite of how my mother was. Hazelle would never hit her children, without a VERY good reason, Hazelle would never disown her children, Hazelle loves her children. Why couldn't I have a mother like Hazelle? Maybe things would have been god, and I wouldn't have been in the Hunger Games, and I wouldn't have met Cato.
"Hazelle, honestly, just by you being you, I don't need anything else. You're like the mother I've only see in dreams. I am so happy you accept me into your house and I'm so happy you accept me." I said, tears beginning to form in both of our eyes, we hugged and for the first time in my entire life, I felt the warmth of a mother's love. It was warm, comforting and I felt that no matter what, I was loved by someone. We separated and wiped our eyes and laughed, Gale looked to me worried and the children finished their cake.
After Hazelle cleaned them up and prepared them for bed, I said my goodbyes and kissed the children's foreheads good night. I was beginning to hope again, with them I was so happy, maybe dating Gale wouldn't be such a bad thing. Before I left the house I felt arms snake around my waist and Gale kissed me on the cheek.
"Can I come over tonight?" He asked like he did every night and every night I turned him down. Tonight though, tonight is different I just know it, so I nodded my head and he turned me around in shock. "A-Are you serious I can!?" He all but screamed at me and his eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets they were so wide. It made me giggle but I nodded again.
"Yes you can, but you know we're not doing any funny business and everything will be completely under the friend category." Gale nodded furiously and happily went to grab clothes and everything from his room before he went to drop off the cake to Katniss and her family. I say Katniss as well because I figure that I should also give to her if I give to her family. Her grave is not far from her old house and I knew Gale would talk to her. "I'll meet you at my house, bye Gale, bye Hazelle." I heard Hazelle call a bye and Gale yelled a "see you soon pita bread!"
Cato's PoV
After a week of never ending sex with Cheyne, I was off for the trip to 12 that would take a few hours. I would arrive sometime in the night and I was told that the Peacekeepers were informed I was coming. As I arrived, I was shocked at just how much poverty this district had, there was even the odor of coal and something musty around the town. I ignored it and headed for Peeta. The cold was unbearable hear and thankfully I was warned and I was wearing a heavy trench coat with boots and jeans.
Throughout every meeting with Cheyne, I had to make sure I didn't blurt out Peeta's name by accident. Every time I was alone in my house though, the two sides of me would battle it out to see who was right, neither side ever winning and just confused me even more. I couldn't act to save my life, so was I even acting throughout the Hunger Games?
I arrived outside of Peeta's house sometime around 9:00pm and his house seemed to be empty, so I waited outside for him to come home. It unfortunately left me to battle it out in my head again. Why the fuck do you even need to think about it? You needed him to survive and besides, Cheyne has a WAY more experienced hole for you to fuck and looks SO much better. Even if that was true, Peeta has a much more caring personality and what WE need isn't physical attaraction we need emotional cause lord knows we have none. HAH look where emotions got you! It got us in front of one of the nicest people of Panems house.
"GRAAAAAH!" I roared out, I couldn't take the constant arguing in my head and right now I probably looked like an insane convict camping out in front of Peeta's house.
"C-Cato!?" I heard someone call out from in front of me and my head shot up so quickly I'm surprised it didn't break. He was wearing a white cape that covered a form fitting long sleeve shirt that clung to newly developed muscles. He looked absolutely shocked to see me and I could tell he was about to run away. I reached out for him and right before I could grab him he swatted my hand away.
"P-Peeta.." That hurt a lot, if you could see the hurt and pain that was in his eyes at this very moment, anyone would freeze. I saw nothing in those eyes, only sorrow, hatred and emptiness. It broke my heart and for once in my entire time of being a victor, the outer Cato couldn't say a word to bad mouth him.
"You, what the HELL are you doing in front of my house." He hissed bitterly as I just stood there motionless, I was in just so much shock that I couldn't do anything. I knew this was all my fault, what Peeta had become was all my fault and I did nothing but sit and fuck someone else.
"Snow…. He said I was allowed to visit. I couldn't turn him down or it would…" I trailed off as with every word Peeta seemed to get closer and closer to crying. "Love I-" I didn't see that fist coming for my gut, nor did I see the person that ran to Peeta's side the moment he raised his voice.
"You! You got some fucking nerve showing up here and calling Peeta ANY pet name. You lost ANY and ALL rights to treat him like a lover when you used him!" This man knew. My eyes widened in shock as I stared at the man who was as tall and as built as I was, only he cared for Peeta genuinely. You can just tell by the way he was standing protectively in front of Peeta who I knew was crying at this point. I heard a sob and my heart stopped. What the hell have I done?
?'s PoV
I twirled my golden trident Keychain around as I watched the explicit material from the games in my Victor's home. I was enticed by Peeta, he was one of the few people that had ever caught my attention enough so that I would only want to think about them. I grabbed my shorts that became tight the moment I saw Peeta take off his shirt and stripped them off quickly.
I had found out through my information network that Cato used Peeta to win the games, Peeta was just lucky to be alive. The moment I found that out I immediately requested to visit my Baker boy, Snow adamantly refused but he struck a deal with me. During the victory tour, when he comes to my district the trains will "malfunction" for a few days and he'll live with me. I smiled to myself in anticipation as I stared intently at the screen.
"Don't worry love, I'll give you all the love you'll ever need and protect you and your innocence from everyone; whether you want me to or not."
TO BE CONTINUEDDDD!~~~~
Author's notes: So guys how do you like it? You should read Parallels to understand this story a little better, although the first chapter has a lot of mystery in it so it's not really necessary. You SHOULD read it anyway because it's awesome. Anyway, I only continue stories if I get reviews. So review or this will be scrapped, THANK YOU!
