a.n. Hey, people! I'm back! I am really happy that I finished 'Hope Never Vanishes' because I haven't been able to do much writing recently. I recently read the BEST Wolfstar story in the world called 'Thirteen Moons'. There in't much Wolfstar in it but that's what makes it so amazing. I LOVE a good Wolfstar and this might encourage me to write more of these kinds of FanFictions. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not JK Rowling unfortunately.


Marauders' First Year

Oh gods I hated those two already and I had only just arrived! I knew that I was not likely to make many friends if I simply decided who I hated before deciding who I liked but I knew that I would hate these people for all of my life.

"Hey, you!" I turned my head in the direction of the voice coming from the entrance of the compartment and saw two boys who looked no older than myself.

One of them had shortish black hair which was sticking out in odd places and glasses, while the other also had dark hair but it was longer than the one who had spoken, hanging about his shoulders.

"Why in Merlin's name are you reading?" The boy with glasses demanded, rather harshly.

I sighed. People never understood the importance of reading. Honestly, if they themselves didn't enjoy to read then whoop-dee-doo for them. I however, noticed the art that was held in books so strived to uncover it all. It wasn't my fault that some people were so incredibly ignorant to this noble magic.

"Because I haven't uncovered the beauty and magic contained in this particular noble artifact and I take it upon myself as a quest to do so with every book I come across." I smirked to myself as I saw the two looking at me as though I was mental. In all honesty, I sort of was.

"Are you ill?" The boy with longer hair asked with a truly perplexed look on his face. I swallowed, knowing I would sort of have to lie to the first people I ever met. Fantastic.

I shook my head and smiled a little when the boy made a show of checking my forehead for a high temperature and such. The other boy laughed along with me after a short pause of the long haired boy pretending to take doctors notes.

"I'm James," said the boy with glasses, holding out his hand, which I shook. "James Potter."

"And I'm Sirius." The other boys said with a sweeping bow and cocky grin. "Sirius Black at your service."

I smiled a little, hoping that we could be friends. "I'm Remus. Remus Lupin." I turned back to my book to continue reading when it was suddenly yanked out of my hands by the Sirius boy. My face darkened and James seemed to sense that what Sirius had just done was a low blow. How dare he take my book while I was reading it anyways? Who did he think he was?

Sirius glanced at the front cover before chucking it behind him and exiting the room without another word. James, who could see how dangerous I looked, hastily followed his friend with a small apologetic smile.

I swooped down to where my book lay and examined it closely, fussing for any marks. I felt like I was going to explode with fury. THE FIRST FIVE PAGES WERE BENT IN THE CORNERS AND THE LAST PAGE HAD A TINY TEAR IN IT!

Oh, I was going to murder Sirius Black.

I reflected that James hadn't seemed so bad at that point and I had hoped that perhaps if we were sorted into the same house, we could still be friends. I wasn't too sure about that after the sorting, though.

"Black, Sirius" had just been called and the Hall waited as he seemed to be having an argument with the hat. Not a second later it shouted, "GRYFFINDOR" and that was that.

Several more names passed but I didn't pay any attention to them. I was busy thinking. What would happen if I was sorted into Gryffindor too? Oh gods. I would have to share a dorm with that evil boy, a common room, lessons and possibly *gasp* study time! What if he was disrespectful towards more books? AND IN FRONT OF ME! Oh, I would burn him into a pile of ash, feed him to the giant squid that I had heard rumours about, blow up what might come back out of the squid, send it to Asia and then let it rot and decay. I would then pick up the package and bury it deep into the ground and then-

"Lupin, Remus." The voice calling my name pulled me out of my plans for Sirius Black and I approached the odd looking hat with bated breath. Anxious, scared and excited.

I got out my journal and wrote on the first page,

I hate Sirius Black.


Marauders Second Year

Why, oh, why did I have to be partnered with Sirius Black of all people? Yes, I supposed we were friends of a sort and we hung out together but we weren't especially close like him and James. Sirius annoyed me to no end most of the time.

"Hey, Remy!" Sirius yelled as I walked into breakfast on the first day back of second year. He beckoned for me to sit with him, James and Peter. I clenched my jaw and took a deep breath before walking over to where the three were seated.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" I asked through gritted teeth. "Do. Not. Call. Me. REMY!"

Several people were looking at us and sniggering, it took all I had inside me not to right out slap them all into next full moon. Sirius constantly called me Remy and everybody knew that he was walking on thin ice. Many people had witnessed my anger first hand. I was, apparently, a force to be reckoned with. While some would enjoy this, I was one of the few people in the world who were scared of attention. There are many people who claim that they dislike it or are scared of it, but almost none can claim that they sometimes wake up screaming from having nightmares about it.

"At least another hundred times or so." Sirius said offhandedly with a dismissive wave of his hand and his trademark casual grin that seemed to have all of the girls in their year's heart fluttering. Personally, I didn't understand what was so charming about it. I found it rather irritating, actually.

Not only did he annoy me to bits himself, but he seemed to be oh so "charming" that even Lily Evans, a good study partner of mine, talked about his 'cute' looks and such. I mean THE Lily Evans who has rejected James' pleas for being his girlfriend for ages now. THE Lily Evans who just didn't seem to 'like like' anybody!

"Hey, Lily." I greeted as I layed down my books on our usual table in the Library. The one farthest in the corner so that if James or Peter wanted to get me, they would have to walk in to the 'oh so deadly' Library. I didn't especially care about Sirius as he had, once again, gotten on my last nerve.

I noticed that Lily didn't seem to quite be on earth at that moment. She was lazily combing a hand through her hair and her eyes were slightly unfocused as though she was doing some deep thinking or had been staring at something for quite a long time. I followed her eye line and groaned rather loudly, earning a glare from a nearby sixth year Ravenclaw student.

For some reason, Sirius Black had decided to come into the Library. This wasn't especially good news as whenever he had come into the Library, some sort of trouble had always happen not too long afterwards. Last time, all of the Slytherins had come up from their form rooms with red and gold hair and polka dots. They hadn't ever been in so much trouble before but Remus had to grudgingly admit that it had been sort of funny.

Sirius had his head bent over a book which he was hurriedly writing in at a surprising pace for him. His hair was hanging in his eyes slightly and every so often, he would brush it away with his free hand. He was biting his lip in an almost un-Sirius-like way and his eyes were scanning over some of the things he had already written.

"Um...Lily?" I asked a little louder than I had the first time. Though, for some reason, Lily still didn't seem to hear me. I waved a hand in front of her eyes and all of a sudden she jumped and screeched slightly. This earned a loud 'shh' from the Librarian, Madam Pince. Lily, who had never had this before, went very red and licked her lips nervously.

"I- I'm sorry R- Remus." She stammered slightly, starting to stuff a few books into her bag. "I...I didn't see you there." She chuckled a little. "Uh... sorry I uh... have to go now."

And with that, she had ran off soundlessly, leaving me standing there, utterly confused.

And to top all of it off, James, Sirius and Peter had recently found out about my lycanthropy. They hadn't asked me about it discreetly. No, goodness no! Sirius had marched right up to me and demanded to know why I hadn't told them sooner. It seemed that Sirius Black wasn't one to beat around the bush. Oh gods, no.

As discreetly as I could, I slipped my journal out of my bag and flipped to a new page. On it I wrote,

I must avoid Sirius Black.


Marauders Third Year

I sighed as I replayed the events of today in my head. James and Sirius hadn't been in their beds when Peter and I had woken up and if he had been telling the truth, he'd had no idea what had been going on. Of course, there was always the possibility that Peter had lied to me but since when to friends lie to other friends?

The two had been late coming in to breakfast as well so they had obviously been doing SOMETHING. It was impossible for either of them to have NOT been doing something. Though what they had done, I'd had absolutely no idea.

My first guess was that they were planning for a prank but according to them, their next big prank wasn't due until the next Halloween Feast.

Again, there was the air of suspicion that they had been lying but luckily, they hadn't been. I hadn't told anybody what today was, gosh no. I have already made it clear that I am scared- no -terrified of attention. How on earth they knew, I shall never know. Not until my dying day as they refused to tell me. They refused to ever tell me and I knew how stubborn they were.

I had been a little more than just weary at the thought of James and Sirius doing something together. It often resulted in big and dangerous things that would get them into heaps of trouble, detentions and losses of house points. I had even remembered to check the point board and saw, to my great and utter astonishment, that there were the exact same amount of rubies in the Gryffindor column as their had been the night before.

It wasn't especially James' doing that I was worried about but Sirius'. James could be bad at the worst of times and Sirius was always double that. It seemed that whenever they did something together, it caused triple the amount that either of them would normally be able to cause on their own. Although, everything the two of them did together somehow always traced right back to Sirius. He also wasn't the only one to notice this either. I had come into the common room after lessons and everything had seemed normal until I had walked into the dorm room...

I froze.

"Happy Birthday, Remus!" was the greeting I got from the other three boys. But...I hadn't told anybody that today was my birthday. How on earth had those three figured it out? Or rather those TWO. Peter had sworn that he had had absolutely no idea what the two had been up to.

They were all wearing tall party hats, Sirius had a pink and green polka dotted one, James with a yellow and red striped one and Peter with a plain neon orange one. Balloons were hung around the room, floating up to the ceiling and swaying slightly from the small breeze coming from the open window. Streamers were draped around all four of the beds and somehow, confetti was fluttering gracefully from the top of the room.

On my bed was a small pile of presents from my friends and family. Most likely one from my parents and perhaps one form my uncle. That would mean that Peter MUST have lied if he had managed to get me a gift... the sneaky rat. He could have known about the surprise but not known what James and Sirius had been doing in that current time, thus, not lying right to my face which some people may have done in the same situation. *cough* Sirius *cough*.

All three of them were staring at me, each wearing an almost creepily identical grin.

I couldn't help it, I let one slip onto my own face. The other boys all whooped and burt into a chorus of the Happy Birthday song, all acting like drunk men at a mad party of some sort. Even though I knew that at some point we would have to get sleep, I let them all have their fun and such. It was really rather amusing watching them dance like lunatics.

"Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to Remus,

Happy Birthday to you!"

Smiling fondly at the memory of today, I scrambled for my journal under my bed. It turned out that Sirius had written to my house at the beginning of the year asking when my birthday was. He had put it on his calendar and had planned everything about my birthday celebration too. I grabbed a quill and dipped it into an inkpot on my bedside table and wrote on a clean page of the book,

Next year, I need to plan the best Birthday Party for Sirius Black.


Marauders Fourth Year

Oh no. Why, oh, why was I friends with such an imbecile? Sirius Black had just suggested that he, James and Peter become animagi so that they could be with me on the full moon. They had done literally no research whatsoever and have simply threw themselves into this mental fantasy that they will be able to accomplish this.

They are only fourteen! I was most definitely sure that they were not going to be able to accomplish this while still at school. Heck, even Professor McGonagall hadn't been able to do this until she was quite a bit older than were were then. So why did they think they would achieve this?

Because Sirius Black is damn stubborn, that's why.

I should have continued hating him through the years. I should have argued with the Sorting Hat more to put me in Ravenclaw. I should have ignored the other two altogether so that I could have distanced myself from him properly. But guess what people, I DID NOT!

Oh, god how I regret it now.

"Hey guys," said Sirius, looking up from a book which had been in his hand. I had forced him to do some Transfiguration homework. Even though I was on the other side of the common room, I could still hear all of what they were saying. "I've got an idea."

"No." Peter said almost instantly while James said, "Yes" at the same time. This wasn't an unusual occurrence.

"It says in here about animagus." Sirius started, apparently ignoring Peter's response. "What if we became them too? We could be with Moony when he transforms then!"

God, I hate that stupid nickname that Sirius insists is cool. It's so obvious!

There was a pause which I assumed was where James and Peter were thinking.

"That could work..." Peter contemplated, slowly. "He did say that if he bit animals then they wouldn't be infected by his er...furry little problem. It only happens to humans"

And there is another thing. 'Furry little problem'. The only excuse I could think of when Lily asked me what they meant by it was that I had an ill rabbit. I'm not quite sure if she believed me...

"That is strangely caring of you, Sirius." James said, you could practically hear the smirk in his voice. I assumed that there was something I was missing? It sounded very much like a 'I know your secret now so, ha!' kind of voice... In all honesty, since it involves Sirius, I don't think I really want to know.

"Shut up." Sirius mumbled.

Now that really confused me. Sirius had sounded a little embarrassed about whatever it was and I could sense the mild anger coming off of him.

"Oh come on, Siri! It's not as if nobody knows." Wait, even Peter was in on the secret? For some reason I felt a bubbling sensation of jealousy and hurt even though I knew that I most probably didn't want to know. I guessed it was just because I considered us friends and I was the only one not in on the secret. "I wouldn't be surprised if he knew for himself by now."

Oh. So they were talking about me. Why else would they have kept a secret and not told me? I vowed that I would find out because if it was likely to cause harm to myself or others, I had to try and convince them not to do whatever they were planning. Not that they would listen anyway but...

What if it wasn't something they were going to do? Ha! Very likely. Sirius Black doesn't hide things from people that aren't some sort of prank. It's in his nature. But...there was a slim possibility I supposed...

And then they started trying to be animagi. Just like that. I never did figure out what they were hiding from me. I put down my book with a sigh and pulled my journal closer, writing inside it,

I must keep a closer eye on Sirius Black.


Marauders Fifth Year

Wow. I couldn't believe that they actually managed to do it. It's not that I really doubted them too much I mean I always knew that James and Sirius were naturally talented... what the heck. I was so sure that they wouldn't be able to accomplish this. I was so sure that they wouldn't be able to do it until we had left school.

I really owe Padfoot. Oh right, we all have nicknames now. I came up with them since they all insisted on calling me Moony. In the dorm, they showed me their transformations. James is a stag. Sirius is a dog. Peter is a rat.

I found myself smiling once I saw them in their animagus forms. It made my heart swell that they had put so much effort and time into doing this for me. So that I wouldn't be on my own during my full moon transformations. It was almost hard to believe that Sirius was actually the one to come up with the idea.

They all transformed back and took deep bows. Well, James and Sirius did. Peter just kind of stood there, red in the face.

"You just have one small thing missing." I say after a small pause. They all look at each other in slight confusion and then back to me. "Nicknames."

They all broke out into a chatter about what they wanted for their nicknames and I simply leaned back into the wall with a small smirk help on my face. James was the first to notice the expression on my face and instantly shut up.

It was bad when people knew Peter was planning something because he would always get James or Sirius to do it for him. It was worse when people knew James was planning something because it would either end up with a bunch of brightly coloured Slytherins and a furious Lily Evans. It was even worse yet again when people knew that Sirius was planning something because, well, he's bloody Sirius Black and nobody is safe when he is planning something.

But then there's me. In first year, I tried to keep a low profile and luckily didn't have to plan anything for anybody. In second year, nobody took my 'I'm truly evil' face seriously so often ended up with a bleeding nose or in the infirmary. In third year, people started realising that it was me who was sending them there and so most stayed away from me. In fourth year, nobody got the 'evil' face except for Sirius, Peter and James.

I never did anything drastic when I pulled that face. I simply told people what I wanted to happen or what would happen, or else. It's another story if people don't do as I say. This face only seemed to come out on the week of the full moon so I sort of hurt people if they didn't do as I said. I know it sounds harsh and a lot like bullying but it's not my fault that the wolf takes over most of my brain on that week.

They were all silent.

"I'm coming up with them." I said simply.

There was an uproar. Obviously they thought I would be coming up with really horrible and dumb nicknames just to spite them. Nah. I'm not that cruel.

"Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs." I said after breaking Sirius' wrist, punching Peter in the face and kicking James hard in the shin. Sirius had been the most annoying. To my surprise, they actually seemed to like the names.

We called ourselves and each other those names ever since.

I couldn't remember exactly what my first night with Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs but I remember waking up in the Hospital Wing with little to no cuts or injuries. Sirius had had it the worst. He's had a huge gash on his stomach from where I had presumably bitten him and was passed out for three days due to blood loss. Still, he insisted on coming to every single full moon and he never missed one.

I looked at what I had just written in my journal and smiled. I most definitely was. I had written,

I am in debt to Sirius Black.


Marauders Sixth Year

I couldn't help but start to feel distant from James and Peter. Over the Easter Holidays of fifth year, neither of them had been able to see me during the full moon due to them being at their houses. I had stayed at school. Sirius had been requested to go to some sort of ball during the holidays but stayed so that I wasn't on my own on the full moon.

Neither James nor Peter were there during the Summer Break either. Sirius never missed one. When I asked whether his parents knew he was leaving he just shrugged and we carried on talking about other things. But I would never forget the last moon of the holidays.

I heard the window opening again. Last full moon, Sirius had turned up and came in through the attic window. He refused to tell me how he got up there though. My father had put up all sorts of charms so that nobody could get either in or out. So that I couldn't get out.

He had told me to leave the window open this time. So I had. He came through and I stood to greet him but as he came into the light, what I saw made me gasp.

There Sirius stood, hair in a mess, blood staining the front of his clothes as though somebody had thrown a red paint ball at his chest. He had a black eye and several cuts on his face as well. One of his sleeves had been torn right off and I could see another cut that looked as though it may have glass inside it. There were also a few faded scars which looked fairy fresh.

I didn't care that I only had an hour before the transformation. I opened the trap door and jumped down into the landing outside my father's bedroom.

I had never had such a restless full moon. I got my father to take Sirius to St Mungo's straight away. I went right back into the attic and closed the door as tightly as I could. The wolf knew that one of it's packmates was injured and so when I woke the next morning, I was in almost a bad a state as Sirius had been the night before.

Sirius had been healed properly and went back to his house. The next morning, he ran away. He went to James' house because he knew that the Potter's would allow him to live there for the time being. Neither James' parents or mine wanted Sirius to have to go back to his family and I was happy to hear that he had been able to run away.

Since then, Sirius and I hung out more. Of course, James was still his best friend but people saw Sirius and I together more regularly than James and him. I sound it a little strange but nobody else seemed to.

Peter had been becoming slightly distant with us for a while and I even saw him talking civily to a group of Slytherins one time. I decided to stay out of it as Snape was there and he knew about my- ahem -furry little problem, as the others like to call it.

James continued to try and persuade Lily to go out with him but to no avail. He didn't seem to even notice that Sirius was spending more time with me than him. Sirius, as always, was seemingly oblivious on the outside but a little bit hurt on the inside that James would rather spend his time with Lily.

Since I owed Sirius, I decided to focus a little less on my studies. The NEWTs weren't until next year and we had already done our OWLs last year so there weren't many things I needed to worry about in studies wise. One time Sirius burst into tears in the dorm when it was just me and him. I had never seen him cry before so had no idea what to do.

"Sirius?" I asked, moving onto his bed and sitting next to him. "What's wrong?"

He didn't answer. I put my arm around his shoulders and let him cry on me for a while until I realised he was asleep. I laid him down onto his pillow and went back to my journal, writing on a fresh page,

I must do everything I can for Sirius Black.


Marauders Seventh Year

I couldn't believe it was almost over. Our final year had just begun and I knew that something was off. But guess what I did about it? Nothing. I didn't want this year ruined by me trying to figure out what it was. How I regret that now.

James was made Head Boy and somehow managed to get Lily Evans to go out with him. Since he was spending less time trying to be with her like the previous year, and she was doing studying for her NEWTs, James got to hang out with Sirius and I a lot more.

I am not to happy to say that the same did not go for Peter. He hardly ever spoke to us and when he did, it was only to ask whether we were using the bathroom or if he could borrow something in class. Neither Sirius or James seemed to care so much because they had other things to deal with and, as I said, I just wanted to have a moderately drama free year.

What shook me though was when I saw Peter talking with a group of Slytherins, including Snape.

"Pettigrew!" That caught my attention, I craned my ears to hear the conversation that seemed to be going on at the end of the corridor. Stalking my way forward, I managed to see a robe with a Slytherin crest on it.

Peter was standing in the middle of the deserted corridor with his bag strap hung lazily over his shoulder. He was facing a line of Slytherins, the one at the front being Snape. Peter was normally so scared when around the Slytherins and so it was strange to see him standing so casually that it appeared that this was normal.

"Have you got any news for Him?" Snape asked, venom practically drooling from his words.

That confused me even more. Who was 'him'? What sort of news would Peter be bringing to this person. I decided to intervene rather than let it continue. If it was going were I thought it was going, I had to save Peter. If Snape meant Lord Voldemort, then I had to try and include Peter in more things. I had to stop him from thinking he'd me more wanted there.

"Wormtail" My voice carried easily through the corridor and the fat boy turned on me in an instant. "Walk with me." I commanded. It was the night before the second moon of this academic year and Peter hadn't come to the last one. I knew I would have to make him come if he wanted to feel included.

It hadn't worked. I had tried to include Peter in almost everything I did but he seemed to be practically shoving me away from him. He was fine with James and Sirius but me? He seemed... scared. Scared of me. It hurt. It truly did but what else was I to expect? I had known that people would be scared of me because of my condition but... we had been such good friends. Hadn't we?

When I asked Sirius what he thought, he didn't believe me straight away. I told him my theory that Snape had been talking about Voldemort and that really set him off. He ended up hexing both Peter and Snape and any and every opportunity he got.

This, unknowingly to him, made me angry at him. I didn't show it, really very much but then afterwards, whenever I saw Sirius, I would want to murder him. Much like I had in first year. What were my words again? "I would burn him into a pile of ash, feed him to the giant squid that I had heard rumours about, blow up what might come back out of the squid, send it to Asia and then let it rot and decay. I would then pick up the package and bury it deep into the ground and then-" and then I had been called for the sorting.

And murder him I wanted to do until the end of that school year. He apparently missed all of the glares and such I would send him after he did something to Peter or Snape.

Why didn't I do anything to stop him from harming Peter or Snape? I never actually knew. I supposed it made sense at the time but really... it doesn't make any sense. At all.

Getting out my journal once again, I dipped my quill into the inkpot and paused for a moment. Sirius infuriated me. He made me so angry. He made me want to wrap my hands around his neck and strangle him until his very last breath came out. He also made me laugh like I never did with anybody else. He was the one who came up with the animagus idea to be with me on the full moons. We'd acted like brothers last year and it was most probably the best year at Hogwarts.

I had been thinking about it for quite a long time. It was a thought I wanted to permanently banish from my head. It couldn't happen. More importantly it wouldn't happen. I knew it wouldn't. It wasn't like that.

Writing down this years line about Sirius Black, I realised my hands were shaking slightly. I put down my pen with a sigh and closed the curtains around my bed, slipping the book under my pillow as though it would help me with my strange dreams about that last sentence I had written.


Lily and James are dead, Sirius is in Azkaban and has "killed" Peter

I cried until there was nothing left in my sistem to come out. I cried because all of my friends were either dead or traitors. Sirius... no. I decided that I wouldn't believe it. It would be called being in denial but I knew I was right. Sirius would never ever do that. After all of the hexing of Peter in our last year at Hogwarts because there was even a small slim possibility that Peter may be a spy for Voldemort, he wouldn't ever join Him.

I wiped the water from my face as fast as I could just in case anybody were to come in or visit me and began searching for the journal I had kept during Hogwarts. I had only filled seven pages in it with writing and the rest was just pictures. Whenever I had needed to take notes in class, I would always use a seperate book because this was my special book for Sirius.

After the first line I ever wrote in the book, I had filled a few pages with pictures of me and Sirius, of just Sirius, of all four of the Marauders together but all of the pictures had him in. The same applied for all the years up until the sixth year. I never got any pictures during our seventh year. I didn't want any pictures after the last sentence I ever wrote in the book.

Looking at that one sentence set up the waterworks again and I sat there crying for at least an hour. The thing I had written, nobody knew about. Nobody would ever know about it. I planned on maybe telling Lily, James or Peter but they were all dead. I wouldn't ever tell anybody now.

I didn't think I would ever be able to look at that entry ever again. I chucked the book across the room and it lay open on that page. If anybody were to look at the page they would be shocked. It wouldn't make sense to them. It was still true. I would never deny it to myself. To others? Maybe. For on the page of that now battered looking journal which I had treasured for years now, it read:

I love Sirius Black.


a.n. OMG! I have been working on this oneshot for about four days now and I'm SUPER happy that I managed to finish it! I hope people like it because it was kind of hard to write. I knew where I wanted to take the story but I had no idea how to get there. If people like the idea of me doing the same story in other people's perspectives then I might do so but at the moment, I just want to READ some Fanfics rather than WRITE them. If you didn't really like it, let me know in a review of what I could do better and how I could improve this. I really hope people will like this, though.

-SlytherdorGirl4life.