Wednesday 05/6/2009
Today is the day. I have put this off long enough; it has to be done today. If I don't, I'm afraid I never will. It will only hurt for a little while, but then it will be done and over with and I will feel better soon enough. I have to break up with Aaron today, because he deserves so much better than me. I am just going to pull him aside and break up with him.
"Kadan, we are going to be late for school!" My brother Rodney was yelling at me from the hallway, beating on my door. I rolled over and checked the time on my phone. Damn! He was right, we only had twenty minutes. I shot out of bed and jumped in the shower. Once I was ready, I ran downstairs and grabbed a breakfast bar and yelled for Rodney to get outside.
When we were in the truck, I could finally breathe.
"Thanks for waking me up, Rod. I totally forgot to set my alarm last night."
"Eh, whatever, it happens to the best of us, obviously, because it has happened to both of us."
We laughed and joked for a few more minutes until I put a cd into my radio. We started singing and dancing along with the music. When a loud part came on we would be louder, it is just how we were. The best of friends, and honestly I couldn't have picked someone better.
"So, do you want to hang out next weekend Rod? The last time we spent time together, just the two of us, was like three weeks ago."
"Why not this weekend?"
"Because I am going shopping. I need new soccer gear and I am probably going to buy some new clothes as well."
"Oh, well thank you for not bringing me shopping," he said sarcastically before laughing.
Once we were at school, he went off with his friends and I found Aaron, so I could say the one thing that I needed to say.
"Hey Aaron," I smiled as I walked toward him at school. Man, I really don't know how I'm gonna say this to him. How am I going to break up with him when he makes me smile every time I look at him?
"Hey babe," he said as he bent down to kiss me on the cheek. "What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing, I'm just tired." I really hate how well he knows me. I wish I was a better liar sometimes.
"Are you sure? You look like you have something on your mind."
"Yeah, I'm sure. I didn't get much sleep last night." Of course, the reason that I didn't get much sleep is that I was thinking about ways to break up with you, but you know, I'll blame it on something else, like always. "Well, I miss Seth, you know."
Seth was one of my best friends, other than my brother—Rodney. We were really close and spent so much of our spare time together that I called his mom "mom." Well, until last weekend. We were hanging out at his house—he's also my neighbor—and we were joking around when his girlfriend came over, unannounced. She got mad because we were hanging out without her. I left 'cause she was yelling at him, and I was kind of uncomfortable. So, that night I was at home and Seth called me.
He was like, "We have been friends for a long time, right Kadan? You know that I will always be there for you, and that I love you. You are like a sister to me and I wouldn't hurt you intentionally ever. And you know that every decision I make is well thought out ninety-nine percent of the time, and that no matter what, you are always welcome here?"
"Yeah…"
"Well, here's the thing, Lauren wants me to choose between you and her—and this has been really hard for me, I love you, and I'm in love with her—well, umm, I chose her."
I hung up on him and called Aaron. Aaron came over my house and stayed up with me all night. So that's the story with Seth. I'm not talking to him.
"I know you do. I'm sorry. Are we still on for dinner on Friday?"
"Of course, why wouldn't we be?"
"Well, I thought you and Seth might want to make up."
"No. I'm not talking to him. He's a stupid jerk. But you are seriously the sweetest guy I've ever known."
"I try," he smirked.
As the bell rang and we walked towards my first block class, I was thinking about how I would break up with him, but when I looked at his smile I couldn't stand the idea of leaving him.
"Well I have to get to class now," he said right before he kissed me. "I love you."
"I love you too," I said. I watched him walk down the hallway to his class.
I turned around and walked into my classroom. I saw my friend Cheryl; she was a small girl, with blonde curls. Her face was round and she was really pale, it took a lot for her to get the smallest tan, unlike me.
"Hey chikka, how's your morning going so far?" she asked me when I took my seat in front of her.
"It's alright. I didn't really sleep well last night so I'm wicked tired."
"Well, that's explains the look you have today." She laughed. "So, do you have any plans for Friday after school?"
"Yeah, I do. Aaron is planning on taking me out to dinner. Why?"
"Oh, I just wanted to know if you wanted to go shopping or something. We haven't hung out in so long.
"Oh, I was planning on shopping this weekend! I'm open on Saturday, so do you want to go then?"
"Yeah sure, I'm actually free for once this weekend. Don't forget to tell Aaron about our plans. I don't want him to ruin them for us."
"He wouldn't do that. I'll tell him, don't worry."
Mr. Leezeo walked into the room and started class then.
I seriously hated history. It's an hour and a half of listening to a guy talk to us about things that happened hundreds of years ago and then relating his boring life to the history. Then compare the stupid things that happened in history to his freaking daddy issues.
When class, finally, ended, I walked through the door way and Aaron was waiting against my locker, right next to the classroom. When he saw me, a huge smile grew on his face, as if he was ready to spend his life with me.
"Hey Kadan, how was history today?" he laughed at the expression on my face. Stupid history class, stupid Aaron for making me love him.
That's actually the reason I wanted to end it with him. If I broke up with him now, I'd be sparing myself the pain of a future break up.
"I hated it with the fiery burning passion of a thousand suns. History is the worst." I laughed.
"Well I'm glad you had fun." He laughed along with me.
I shoved him a little bit as I turned to my locker.
"What time are you picking me up on Friday?" I asked him as I reached for my books.
"Um, is 8 o'clock okay?"
"Alright, sounds good. What should I wear?"
"All I'm gonna say is to dress nice. It's gonna be great. I promise." He said with the biggest smile on his face. "So, may I walk you to class?" he asked sarcastically, especially since we have our next class together.
"If you must," I laughed and smiled while he grabbed my hand and we started our journey to trig.
We held hands and walked down the hall. To everyone else, we seemed to be the perfect couple, and most of the time I believed it too. We never argued and we were always happy together. But there seemed to be something like a brick wall in my way of truly trusting that he wouldn't leave me. I couldn't break through.
Aaron and I were both almost eighteen. He would turn eighteen in a few days and my birthday was the next week.
"You know I love you, right?" his voice drew me back to reality.
"Of course I do, Aaron."
"Did you know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me?"
"You are so sweet."
He kissed me. I leaned my back against the wall right next to the door and he leaned in to kiss me before class. As he kissed me I kept my arms around his neck and his hands were on my hips. It was at times like this that I knew that I never wanted to leave him; that I needed him to stay with me.
I pulled away, breathless. "We need to get to class now."
He rolled his eyes and smiled at me as he grabbed my hand and walked me to our desks. He sat in front of me and turned to face me.
"Hey babe, did you do the homework last night?"
Of course, he never does his homework. "Yeah, hold on a second. I'll get it for you." He copied my homework. "You couldn't even finish it when I helped you through half of it last night?" I laughed at his lack of effort.
