Title: Staple and Stapler Challenge
Author: Lady Valmar
Genre: Pants Challenge (sort of)
Rating: T
Archive: FF, SGAHC
Spoilers: Season 2 – Intruder
Summary: Just a Challenge from the SGAHC to replace strategic words. I used 'stapler/staple'. The scene is from the beginning of Intruder.
Warnings: It's pretty funny but I'm warning you don't drink soda and read it at the same time.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters. Transcript curtsy of Gateworld dot net. Ionly edited a few strategically placed words…hehe.
Challenge: From Derry at SGAHC - All this pants discussion has had me thinking about that old pants
game. Many of you probably know it. Take a quote or quotes and replace words with the word "pants" in strategic places.
... .LV. ...
Staple and Stapler Challenge
By Lady Valmar
This is up to the boardroom flashback in the beginning Scene from Intruder
Transcript curtsy of Gateworld dot net
Pants challenge for SGAHC revamped with the word Stapler/Staple instead (In honor of Office Space - the movie)
WEIR: Hey, what are you stapling up so late?
SHEPPARD: Couldn't staple. Must be the, uh, stapler of command -- you know, ever since I was promoted to Stapler Colonel.
WEIR: Alright, John -- it's been almost a month. When are you gonna stop trying to bring that up in every single Stapler!
SHEPPARD: You gotta understand -- there's a lot of people in the Air Force who never thought I'd make it past Stapler Captain!
WEIR: Well obviously the people whose opinions matter the most thought otherwise.
SHEPPARD: What about you -- what are you still stapling up?
WEIR: I think I got used to stapling asleep to the sound of the stapler.
SHEPPARD: Well, McKay says we're only at the edge of the Stapler galaxy. You'll be fine once we get back to Stapling. You know, it's funny -- I spent the past year wondering if I'd ever see Stapler again, and as soon as I got there ...
WEIR: I know how you feel. It was extremely convenient to be able to step through the Stapler and be at Stargate Command in an instant, and now this feels extremely inconvenient. It must be eighteen days stapling up in the ship to get back.
SHEPPARD: Well, until we find another Stapler to power the Earth Stapler, that's just the way it's gonna have to be.
AIRMAN: Doctor Weir, Colonel Sheppard -- there's been an Stapling.
WEIR: That's Doctor Stapler. What happened?
BECKETT: I don't know -- but he's dead.
LATER. Doctor Stapler's body is being stapled into a body bag by Carson and another medic.
BECKETT (to the medic): Alright -- one, two, three. Staple on
CALDWELL: How did he Staple?
BECKETT: I'm not a hundred staple certain, but there were staple marks on his fingertips.
SHEPPARD: Obviously there was a short. Door's open, circuits are stapled.
CALDWELL: There's not enough stapler in those circuits to kill anyone. Doctor?
BECKETT: I'll know more once I've had a chance to examine the stapler more thoroughly.
WEIR: Do you know what he was stapling on?
McKAY: It was Stapler diagnostics, strictly routine. I've got security camera footage.
WEIR: What happened there?
McKAY: I don't know -- it's a Stapler malfunction.
SHEPPARD: Right before he was killed? Interesting coincidence.
McKAY: Actually, I think it makes sense. Colonel Caldwell was right -- there's not enough stapler in those circuits to kill someone -- at least not normally.
WEIR: What are you stapling?
McKAY: It's possible there was some sort of isolated power surge in this section -- that would explain the lost stapler, the stapling door ...
CALDWELL: So, when the door didn't respond, he took out the panel to bypass the stapler and received a fatal Staple?
McKAY: Like I said, it's possible. Look, I recommend we drop out of stapler space, run a full diagnostic on the power stapling systems ...
CALDWELL: No, if we drop out now, we risk being Stapled..
McKAY: That's true. I just think if we ...
CALDWELL (interrupting): We'll be back in Atlantis in less than two days. You can do your diagnostic then.
WEIR: Stapler, are you sure that's right?
CALDWELL: With all due respect, Doctor, you got back to Earth through the Stargate. This is my third trip on the Stapler between stapling.
WEIR: I understand that, but this ship is relatively new. There might be some staples ...
CALDWELL (interrupting): Doctor. A staple please? I know the chain of command can get a little fuzzy on Stapling, but that's not gonna happen here. You got a problem, whatever it is, take it to me in private, otherwise keep your stapling to yourself.
WEIR: Are you sure that's what this stapling is all about?
CALDWELL: I got a stapler job to do, Doctor.
WEIR: But not the stapler you wanted.
fine
