Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape or form own the Twilight Saga
Rating: M
WARNING: Mentions of cutting, suicide, abuse, eating disorders, and bullying
Word Count: 1,514
I never knew how hurtful words could be, until I hurt someone meant for me.
I used to bully a girl, Samantha White, otherwise known as Sammi. I hit, and kicked, and punched, and said so many cruel things to her, I can't even count.
It all started when we were in eighth grade. I asked out Sammi. I had been crushing on her for years. I thought that if I acted all cool and tough that I would impress her and she would like me, the way I liked her.
Sammi was in my sight one day, and I had the perfect opportunity to show off to her. I nerd, some guy with glasses and looked funny was walking my way, and I tripped him.
People had started to laugh.
That laughter, it fed my ego. It made me want to do more, I felt stronger in a strange way, and oddly enough, felt good.
When the boy tried to collect his school books off the floor, I kicked him in the back, making him sprawl onto the floor in a moaning heap. He tried to get up once more, but I, being my ego hungry self, kicked him back down to show off that I was the dominate one.
I could hear someone gasp.
I looked up from the heap of the boy on the floor to meet the eyes of Sammi. She was the one who gasped. She was looking on at me with a look of disappointment, of loathing.
I didn't get why she would be looking at me with such a look, I was doing this so she would like me. So she would think I was strong. Didn't girls like this kind of stuff?
Sammi rushed over to the boy and started to pick up the fallen books. She then reached out her hand with a smile and pulled the boy in a standing position. She smiled at him, and he in return, did the same.
I felt this overwhelming sense of jealousy. I was jealous over the fact that Sammi was smiling at that kid and not me. I mean, why wouldn't she smile at me?
Sammi then looked towards me with a disapproving look on her face. I tried to play it off cool and smiled at her, but instead of a smile, the only facial expression I got in return was a frown.
"So," I asked her. "Do you want to go out with me?"
She looked at me with a look of shock. "Why would I go out with you? You just hurt him, Jason is my friend, and you just tripped and pushed him down without a thought. So tell me, why would I want to go out with a bully?"
She rendered me speechless. No one has ever spoken to me like that. I didn't get why she was mad though. I get this Jason kid was her friend, but didn't she realize that I was doing this for her and only her? Didn't she realize that I liked her and was trying to impress her?
Sammi didn't wait for a reply, she stormed off with Jason close on her heals.
That was the day that had started everything. That was the day that I had started to bully her. She embarrassed me in front of people. She couldn't do that, I was Embry Colby Call for Pete's sake!
I started to bully Sammi more and more as the years went on. It didn't help that our mothers were close friends, so essentially we saw each other more than she would have liked I suspected. Sammi never once told anyone about the bullying though. The only people who knew were the kids at school.
I called Sammi worthless. I told her that everyone would be better off if she were dead. I told her she was fat and that maybe if she became anorexic or bulimic, that maybe people would like her. I told her that she should cut herself, the less blood she had, the closer she was to being dead.
I didn't mean any of those words though. Sammi could never be worthless; she was too good to be. No one would be better off with her dead. People loved her, and they would mourn her and miss her; I know I would. She wasn't fat, she was perfect. She had the most perfect body shape that anyone would kill for. I didn't want her to cut herself so she would be closer to death, without her, I don't know what I would do.
Overtime, I noticed that there became scares on her arms. She also lost a lot of weight. I didn't think anything of it; I just thought that maybe her cat scratched her or that she was going on a diet. I wasn't thinking that she was slowly killing herself. I didn't realize that I was killing her.
The bullying got worse though. I was becoming angry more so I lashed out on her with violence. I hit her, and kicked her, and slapped her, and so many other things. I knew it was wrong, but with this a way to unleash my anger, I didn't stop.
I said so many mean things to her. I had hurt her physically, emotionally, and mentally so many times that she diminished into herself and was no longer the Sammi I knew and loved.
This was Sammi, the girl who had no emotion on her face. Ever. This was Sammi the girl who could care less about school or her friends. Point blank, this wasn't my Sammi.
I remember the last day that I had saw her. I had just gone back to school since I transformed into a wolf. I had girls head over heels in love with me with just one look. I had gained more muscles and height; I also gained more looks that I had already.
I didn't care about all the other girls who know liked me; all I cared about was Sammi. I had basically loved that girl since the sixth grade and still currently like her now my sophomore year.
I couldn't wait to see her and talk to her. Well not talk really, more like abuse her verbally. I could no longer physically harm her since I had gained super strength.
I found Sammi talking to Jason. Jason had filled out over the years and became less nerdy over the years. He was now on the football game and had a girlfriend.
I quickly walked over towards Sammi and slammed her locker shut. Jason had already gone to class so I didn't have to worry about him.
I then proceeded to call Sammi names and say brutal things to her that I never meant. She then locked eyes with me and my world stopped.
Gravity was no longer holding me to this earth, Sammi was. I connected to her; I could feel her pain at the words I had said.
I had a good look over her to see if she was ok, and she wasn't. She was far too skinny and had many cuts up her wrists. I kept on telling myself that I was not the cause of this and that it was just her cat and that she was dieting.
Sammi said something to me. The last thing she had ever spoken to me. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words, stay with me forever."
Sammi then walked away.
I was shaking. I quickly ran to the forest to phase, I couldn't lose control in a public place, that would expose us and we didn't need that.
Sam was patrolling and I had told him what was going on. He was disappointed in my behavior and told me to go home and rest.
I came into school the next day eager to see my imprint. I had walked through the doors and everything was silent. People started at me, some were even crying. I noticed Sammi wasn't there; she was probably at her locker.
I walked over to Sammi's locker and she was nowhere to be found. I assumed she was in her homeroom, but she wasn't there either.
I decided that she was probably at an appointment or something so I walked to my homeroom and took my seat in the front.
Announcements came on.
My principal started talking about what was going on today when he said something that caught my attention.
Samantha White was found dead this morning. She had committed suicide by slitting her wrists. She had a note in her hand that said 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words, stay with me forever.' We shall have a memorable assembly later on today in her precious memory.
I died inside.
My imprint, my Sammi, killed herself because of me. Me.
I will never forget the last words she said to me though; they will haunt me forever.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words, stay with me forever.
