A/N: So this is the back ground story, of Alex Cabot who will become important really soon. So stay tuned. There won't be any Once upon a time characters in this chapter. So i'm sorry. If you want to know more about the character please read, you can skip this chapter though. But if you really do enjoy it, this comes from Law and Order SVU episode Loss.

I don't claim to own anything here.


The Ice Queen

Our story today begins in a land called New York , where justice was subjective and the heroes did not always win the day. However it has never stopped them form trying. In this large town was a team of New York's finest, the best of the best, the knights in shinning armor of victims. This team worked tirelessly to reign justice down upon the wicked, this team was the Special Victims Unit of the NYPD. Though all of them were important, one is most important for the purposes of the story. She is known as the Ice Queen of the District Attorneys office, a woman stubborn and resilient in her fight against the injustices committed daily against the victims of rape and sexually- based offenses. Her name is Alexandra Cabot and this is her story...

This time she is prosecuting an especially tedious case, the rape of Livia Teyes, or Sandaval, she didn't know herself. The case was a jigsaw puzzle of never ending pieces, just as the team puts another piece together another falls off. As it turns out the victim wasn't just any call girl, she was an undercover agent for the Drug Enforcement Administration. And her target was none other than Cesar Velez, but that's the big picture. The true criminal in this story is Rafael Zapatta, Velez's second in command. Usually this would force the team to work even harder. Even though they didn't know her and she really meant nothing to them at the end of the day, it was the principle that was so damning. An attack on one - any one- is an attack on the whole department. The situation grows more precarious by the moment, since they can't use the testimony given to them by the confidential informant an Agent Donovan without risking the DEA's case falling apart like a house of cards, they were just in effect sitting ducks.


District Attorneys Office 8:00pm EST

"Your SVU detectives have got you in a real mess Alexandra."

Alex was generally surprised at Branch's warm tone. She let her mind drift for a second, to find any possible way to get him off her case. Though nothing really came to mind. There was one thing that she knew about her boss, the District Attorney himself, was that he is a peaceful man and he would avoid a pissing contest with the feds at any cost. And her pride would be last on his list of priorities. Yet, she still knew how to appeal to his sensibility, after all he was the one who always quoted Sun Tzu, know thine enemy and know thyself and all that.

If there was nothing else she knew the man behind the rosewood escritoire. She knew the regal man with silver hair whose furrows and creases told stories of victory and of loss of justice and injustice and of the anachronisms that was the life of a district attorney. She matched his curious gaze equally with her own deadpan came to her as naturally as breathing, but was as cold as ice. Branch took off his glasses theatrically, another empty gesture from his bag of tricks. As if he deigned to notice her and lift his nose from the paperwork sprawled over the desk, but that was a matter for another discussion. Branch tossed his glasses, and clasped his hands together on his desk leaning just a bit forward just so she could have his, full and undivided attention.

"They were trying to cooperate with a federal investigation. This was hardly their fault." Alex said defensively, sea blue eyes glinted with a pang of regret behind black solid rims. The whole situation was getting slightly out of hand, this was a judgement call she didn't have the heart ye to make. If she lets the judge Petrovsky subpoena Agent Donovan to verify his credibility then his identity will be compromised and the whole case will crash and burn. Branch's prying wasn't helping either.

"I'm not asking you to defend them. I'm asking how are you going to get out of this mess." Branch inquired, his cold stare never left her blue orbs.

"There's nothing to get out of, Petrovsky will subpoena the Agent and Zappatta will go away for 25 to life." She said shruging it off, rather quickly, she could hear the naivety in her own words. There were too many things that she assumed would happen, she couldn't see how this would play out. The fear was real, it was somewhere deep in a box within her heart, stored away within another box and a hundred of those boxes of forbidden emotions that she couldn't allow herself to feel while she was on the job.

"Just that easy, huh?" Branch questioned with thinly veiled contempt. This young girl was telling him how this would go, him, a seasoned prosecutor who has been in the court long before she was born, how things will go in the court room. There was just so much patience that a man can have. There was just a certain bite that this just had, this fairy tale that she is using to justify the means. He allowed himself a small somber smile, while he twiddled his glasses choosing just how exactly to crush that sort of thinking before it got a chance to fester.

"Everybody understands the sensitive nature of a DEA investigation, Petrovsky wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that. All efforts will be made to maintain this informants confidentiality. " Alex stood her ground firmly, tapping her pointer finger into the oak table.

"So you're operating under the pretext that if we can't see the immediate threat then it must not be real?" Branch scoffed tiling his head ever so slightly in blatant arrogance. Like a teacher would to an unruly child.

"I know the threat is real, a DEA agent is dead because of it." Alex countered.

Branch nodded in agreement, conceding to the point before turning that point back on her, "Yes, yes and how many people would you say knew this information as of this moment."

"I'm not sure a dozen or so." Alex shrugged coolly, even a little restlessly.

And now he got her, exactly where he wanted her, he gave her that knowing look "Sounds, about right," he paused gazing down, feigning weakness, before he once again resumed his lecture with his ever old school rich whiteman drawl "Now, you and I both know that confidential is a term directly proportional to how interesting said information is. And well, " he chuckled gravely, " this is just too interesting Alexandra. Cut Zapata a deal"

He commanded, and she lost her position to argue just like that. Before she could even open her mouth to argue Branch was already donning his unrimmed glasses and was back to reading the file on his desk as if this conversation never even happened.


New York Police Department, Special Victims Unit Interrogation Room 11:45 am EST

Alex sighed, flipping through her flied nonchalantly before directing her attention to two she truly despised most at the moment. She quickly stole a glance at the lawyer defiantly sitting across form her, staring, gauging her next move, then her eyes darted to the scum, wasting space next to the lawyer. The devil himself Zapata- Gavaria. She knew her stare was lingering a moment too long, but the longer she observed him the more she could sense the pure unadulterated depravity behind the meticulously constructed grin. Zapata was just a little too comfortable in his blue suit, a little too chipper for a man possibly facing years in prison. Then there was that pesky matter of Lionel Granger, tall dark, well off lawyer, who just had this knack for pissing her the hell off. Maybe it was his gift for defending the scum of the earth, or the fact that he was actually good at it. But most likely is that it was just his presence.

"Manslaughter 8 to 10, " Alex offered half heatedly already knowing the answer. But hell she had to try.

"Pass."

"Maybe you should ask your client what he thinks." Alex asked, not even feigning to hope that his answer will be yes.

"I also pass." He replied cordially, with fake nauseating kindness, he was mocking her. She was not a person who he can just fuck with. However before this could escalate Lionel jumped in.

"What are you even bargaining with Alex? You don't have a case you certainly don't have your informant." He said snidely, hoping that this waste of time would end. Because he knew that she knew that she has no aces left in her pocket.

"I will have the informant just as soon as the judge issues the subpoena." Alex recoiled slowly dangerously, each work cold and calculated. This was like the cheese in a rat trap, it's irresistible. Alex's calculated taciturn gaze now pointed at him. She could swear she saw his ego inflate at this, his chest puffed ever so slightly, and his sharp black eyes darted to stare right back at her like a heinous, psychopathic abyss.

"You are assuming that the informant will comply with the judges request." He countered, testing her, and to his surprise he saw nothing. Her subtle features stood still, even a small smile tugged the corners of her lips as she tweaked her head with mock curiosity.

"And why wouldn't he Mr. Zapata?"

"Who can say why people do what they do. It's a mystery." He responded snidely, matching her gaze and then some, beneath the mask he was enjoying this. A little too much for her taste. She indulged him for a bit longer.

"You don't know who this person is Mr. Zapata, so how could you possibly know what he would or wouldn't do?" She said just as mockingly, threateningly.

"Or so you say."

The air thickened, the pressure was rising, and this current pissing contest was getting out of hand. Lionel knew this strategy, he used it a few times himself. Indulge the victime and then use his words against him. And Alex was playing on Zapata's vanity like Beethoven plays the piano. He had to end it and he had to end it now before Zapata says anything he will regret.

"I'll tell you what, you produce this CI and we promise we'll take the deal."

She couldn't even hear Lionel's voice, she was transfixed by the psychopath across, she glanced offhandedly at Lionel, "Take it now or it's gone," then her eyes set again on Zapata, her voice even colder than before, she leaned in like a cobra leans in before it lunges for the fatal bite, "And for future reference, if your client intimidates the informant in any way I will have his bail revoked and have his ass thrown in Rikers for the duration of this trial."

"You can't threaten me bitch!"

"I just did."

Lionel's eyes darted between them, he knew that another moment would end badly. For all parties involved. Slamming his hands on the table Lionel shot up from his chair hoping to dispel the tension.

"We're going." the lawyer commanded quickly.

Zapata's eyes hardened, not even bothering to glance at Lionel.

"You allow this," Zapata paused, as Lionel made his way towards the door of the interrogation room, " a woman says these things and you do nothing?"

This was the straw that broke the Camel's back, ice blue eyes grew colder, as Alex rose from her chair. Her anger rose like a fire, her lips pursed, "Yes, Mr. Zapata you will also find that a woman can say whatever she wants about your performance in bed and you' re not actually allowed to kill her."

With all the churning rage and frustration roaring within, Zapata lunged for her, fuck the consequences, fuck the jail time. No woman will talk to him in this way. His raging fury was thwarted narrowly by Lionel's strategic shoving of the desk. In the split second, Granger saw the moment unfolding, Zapata lunged, Alex's neck just barely out of reach.

Alex was incredulous, she was staring death in the face, in a contorted face of a very rich and very dangerous Colombian Narco kingpin.

"Lets not do anything stupid."

Fear took hold, slowly creeping as she realized that the threat was real. Branch's words resounded in her mind. She gulped nervously, watching as they took him away.

"Okay," Lionel sighed, "That was fun, lets go Rafael"


Alex could finally breathe now that he was gone. It took all the strength she had left not to collapse. But she had a job to do. And she was going to damn well do it. She entered cautiously through the doors of the 16th precinct, hoping to get to her office without anybody seeing her like this. There percinct was as loud as always, detectives victims, officers all busy working tirelessly. Alex hoped she would drown in the noise and slip through.

She had no such luck. She barely stepped in the door before Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler the said detectives who always seemed to get her in trouble ambushed her. She gathered her thoughts for a second and continued to power walk, but she saw the regret in her eyes, and the anger in his.

"I'm fine, I just, I was hoping he would think about that information coming out in open court." Alex said quickly, knowing it wasn't a good enough reason to piss off a Colombian king pin but still, he pissed her off.

"And he pissed you off." Olivia interrupted jokingly.

"Yeah, that too."

"So, what does branch think now that the deal's been shut down." Olivia asked genuinely interested, while casting a quick glance to Elliot who's still smirking from when they told her what Alex said to Zapata.

Alex, sighed, "There's nothing else we can do, we have to move forward with the trial. We'll give the DEA some notice so they can pull out all of their undercover operatives."

"You're gonna blow a two year investigation?" Elliot asked candidly, while tossing today's newspaper on his desk as they passed it by.

Alex shot him her special death glare reserved for only Elliot, and his great comments at the most inopportune of times. "This is the best option of only bad options. We either prosecute Zapata or drop the charges hand him back his passport, he leaves the country and the DEA's case is blown anyway." She hissed, through in the back of her mind, the insidious feeling gnawed. She knew that this was too much rationalizing even for her. She felt her phone vibrate against her leg, rolling her eyes she reached for it. Tuning out whatever Olivia was saying she realized that the call was from Petrovksky. "Hello?"

"Alex are you even listening," Olivia sighed as she stared at her now petrified friend. Olivia's eyes narrowed dangerously, as her hand enveloped Alex's wrist forcing her to turn around and face Olivia.

"It was Petrovsky's office."

"What did she want?" Elliot scoffed.

"I was just called to an ex parte meeting in Petrovsky's chamber." Alex said incredulously, transfixed by the phone in her hands. This is now probably the worst case scenario of her worst case scenario.

They both gazed at her with their puppy dog eyes. She count offer them anything but a delirious nod while she pushed her way passed them.

"This can't be anything good."


Judge Petrovky's Chambers 12:05 pm EST

As soon as Alex walked into the judge's chambers she was made painfully aware of three things.

A startled and remorseful Petrovsky tucked behind her escritoire.

Three lawyers in powersuits obviously from the US Attorney's office, with their smug grins.

And a paper tucked in the first lawyers smug hand, probably a protective order.

"ADA CAbot." The first man greeted, he was a a short man, not even close to her stature, he wore thin framed glasses, and he was rather bulky in his disposition. He took three cautious steps towards Alex.

Alex remained silent watched the show unfold, she didn't much care about their names and tuned that part out, her gaze was captivated by Petrovsky, her furrowed and timeless features twisted into a scowl, as she rolled her eyes at their introduction. Alex smirked with equally biting disapproval.

The lawyer took another careful step toward her, tearing her attention away from the judge, "You might be wondering what this is about."

"Let me guess, the federal government is about to steamroll New York." Alex interrupted with the same cold derision her fiery gaze burning holes in the short slightly obnoxious attorney.

To her surprise she couldn't evoke a rise out of the man, he simply shuffled through his breast pocked, sliding out another thin piece of paper, shoving it in Alex's face rather pompously, " This is a protective from a federal judge in the South District of New York State, barring judge Petrovsky from subpoenaing the CI on the grounds that it will jeopardize an on-going investigation."

Alexandra grabbed the papers, how could this happen? She looked passed the short man once again. "Is there nothing we can do?"

Petrovksy's eyes lifted to meet her eager ones, that were still so full of fire. But the older woman shook her head, "Not unless you have other evidence supporting your probable cause." Alex's eyes widened in pure anguish, "Then I'm sorry Alex, but the search is out."

"Your honor-" She tried to argue bitterly overtaken by the feeling of injustice and frustration that plagued her since her conversation with Branch.

"I know I don't like it either." Petrovsky sighed, she then turned her brown eyes towards the three suits in her office. Petrovsky took a small breath to calm herself before she said something she couldn't take back, "And Mr. Riley." the shortest man turned his attention away from Alex, "I don't ever want to see this many lawyers in my chambers again. So next time, " she threw a sharp glances toward the other two men, "leave the dog and pony show behind."

"Understood your honor."


Alex stormed out of Petrovsky's office to be greeted again by Elliot and Olivia, she couldn't get this out of her mind, the more she thought about what just happened the more it festered into an intense fury that set her on the war path to the Second Circuit Court of Appeals.

"They can just do that. Go over the judges head and that's it?" Olivia asked incredulously, barely able to read Alex's impassive guise.

Alex grit her teeth, putting even more speed in her steps, she wanted to get away from there as fast as she could,

"No, I'm going to appeal this to the second circuit. Now we're getting into a violation of states rights." Through invigorating this simply wasn't a battle she had the energy to fight.

Even more 'good' news came barreling her way in the form of a suit and a tall dark man, none other than agent Donovan himself. His face was a mix of fear surprise, he grabbed Alex's arm, "Ms. Cabot come with me, we've received a credible threat." Before he could finish Alex wiggled out of his grip defiantly.

Elliot stepped between them giving Donovan a shove for good measure, "I thought you didn't want to show your face around here?"

"It didn't come from us we've kept your identity a secret."

He shook his head, attempting to keep this quiet, but was obviously failing, "It wasn't against us, Ms. Cabot, it was against you."

The three exchanged tired glances and followed Donovan out of the court.


DEA Conference room 9:00 pm EST

The anger still burned, the air in the conference room was cold. shivers racked her body. Her mind seemed intent on antagonizing her. She felt stupid for even trying to fight this. The illusion of control of this fearlessness of this strength that she has constructed was falling apart now. Alex placed her hands on the cold shiny wooden oval table. Catching Olivia's concerned glance, hoping to find some solace there, she could only throw a reassuring smirk her way, Elliot's face was unmasked anger, she could see the pangs of regret, twisting, in the hardened marine. Across from them sat Donovan at the head of the table, he quicly placed the tape recorder of the conversation between the inmate and one of Zapata's men.

"This is the conversation that we intercepted from a federal penitentiary this morning,"

"Hey how's my girlfriend?" The first deep hoarse voice said, his voice was deep and disgusting, boasting a thick New York drawl.

"Good good." A similar voice replied.

"The second guy is a man incarcerated at said penitentiary, we believe that Zapata has a network in these penitentiaries, we're trying to ascertain where this information is coming from. We haven't yet identified the man either, but we believe he's one of Cesar Velez's men." Donovan continued rather pointlessly, his explanations didn't make the threat any more real.

"You should take her out on a date."

"Yeah I was thinking I could pick her up this week."

"Alright, she's living on 235 West 78th Street, Apartment C like Charlie"

Alex's stomach dropped twisting into a dead knot, a fleeting look of surprise, and unadulterated horror washed over her face, "That - that's my address!?" She stuttered, her body numb the words were simply not coming out of her mouth.

"You can go jogging with her near Central Park."

"Son of a bitch" Elliot cursed reclining in his chair.

"I was thinking that I could visit her mother."

"That's an idea mommy lives upstate West Amherst, but, you should really try to see your girlfriend."

Alex was shell shocked to say the least, too much was at stake right now. If they only threatened her life fine. But now her family her mother. This was more than what she had bargained for.

"How do they know this?" Alex asked shaking, dumbfounded.

"As I've said we're trying to ascertain where this information is coming from. Have you noticed anything strange, somebody following you?" Donovan asked, in the softest tone he could muster. "Any problems with your phone, at the office or at home?"

"Uh- I - I don't think so, not that I can recall."

Olivia leaned in protectively, clutching Alex's arm, her warm chocolate orbs whipped to meet Alex's blank blue ones, " Okay so as of now you're going to get a protective detail, you set foot outside there is going to be a protective detail escorting you."

Alex, gulped quickly, not trusting herself to speak. All she could do is stare sheepishly at the people in the room, she swear she could feel her ego deflate at this. The great Ice Queen brought to her knees. By a group of thugs no less.

"We're going to have to rig a security system, at the office and at your apartment." Elliot jumped it.

"Don't worry Miss Cabot the Federal Marshall's will be here within the hour to escort you home." Agent Donovan tried to reassure the nervous lawyer.

"No, I want to go home now." Alex protested, shacking her head. Nowhere was safe, maybe if they were going to kill her she would be at home at least.

"It's fine, we'll take her."


The walk to the car was a short one, however it didn't stop Elliot and Olivia from flanking their friend protectively. Alex didn't even notice Agent Donovan rushing behind her.

"Miss Cabot!" He yelled his roar resounded through the empty street. Elliot immediately jumped in front of Alex pulling his gun out on autopilot and aimed to kill. He was a lick away from pulling the trigger until he realized that the idiot running after them was Donovan. The marine grumbled and holstered his weapon grudgingly.

"What is it Agent Donovan?" Alex asked, she was in no mood for his reassuring anymore, since they were nothing more than empty gestures. She wondered if he even knew that what he said only made himself feel better, it didn't help Livia Sandival and it sure as hell isn't helping her. She huffed filing this thought later for more contemplation.

"Look Alex, everything is going to be fine," there was something alluring in his puppy dog eyes, he reached for her arm tentatively, Alex only looked away biting her lip apprehensively, " Look if we don't find them then, I'll go to your judge, I'll testify in open court. I just want you to know that this is handled."

Alex nodded, hoping deep within that it wouldn't have to get this far. She didn't flinch as she turned around, nodding the officer good bye. Allowing Olivia to wrap her arm around her shoulders.

"Alex why don't you stay with me tonight, or until this whole thing blows over." Olivia said with a soft smile.

"It's fine Liv, I'll be alright."

Before Olivia could argue with Alex, Elliot coughed offhandedly.

"Sorry to ruin the moment here, but we should do a drive around to check if anything is off."

Before Alex could roll her eyes at Elliot in her usual manner, they were sent flying back. A tower of flame erected from the car that Agent Donovan just sat in, the glass the doors, all shattered and scattered on the cold New York street. Only the car alarm blared piercing the quiet silence. Alex could only watch helplessly from the ground, as the fire raged on, destroying everything and everyone inside.

Whatever happened next was a blur she went through the motions like a sleep walker, this can't be happening. She fell into denial, her head still spinning. She didn't know how Olivia had managed to peel her off the side walk, or how she managed to get her to sit in the back of the ambulance. Cold winds grazed against her skin, her eyes never left the radiating fire, the noise and shouts of the firemen and the ambulance were drowned out with the crackles of the fire. Focusing on this fire helped to drown out the quaking pain from the after shocks of the blast. Everything seemed just that much more real.

These people blow up commercial air liners to kill one person, be careful Lex. Alex remembered Olivia's words well.

Three strong men, quenched the fire, and the night darkened again. It was over. A mans life. Her case. Everything. An ember of hope still burned somewhere, as she watched the fire die beneath the flood of water from the fire truck. Alex knew she couldn't, wouldn't let it end this way. Suddenly warmth enveloped her hands, Olivia's voice suddenly ripped Alex back to reality.

"C'mon Alex let's go." Olivia looked back at the car, "Look, there's nothing more you could've done. Donovan made a choice."

That was exactly the point. They made a choice. The wrong one.

"We all did."

Thunderous stepped barreled toward them. It was Donovan's boss, a grey haired man, Alex barely registered that he was even here, his eyes filled with murderous rage, his face flushed with anger, he was ready to tear into the broken lawyer,

"How?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"He had two kids, did you know that?" He scoffed, "You were careless. You didn't listen. Do you get it now !? Is it sinking in!" He raged, on. His raging fell on death ears, there was nothing he could say that would deaden the weight on her heart, make her feel any more dead that she does now. Saying sorry wouldn't be helpful either. So she watched silently as the man grieved in his own way.

Elliot had to pull him away, another moment and he might have been tearing into her. Shoving in front of the man, Elliot forced Alex to look at him.

"You have to get yourself off of this case. End of story."

A sickening chuckle resounded between them, from the DEA agent, "You don't have a case, it blew up with Tim Donovan."


NYPD SVU Main Office 9:00 AM EST

"Initial report form the bomb squad turned up evidence of C4, and part of the detonator under the ignition they believe the explosive was placed under the drivers seat and they believe it was connected to the ignition." Elliot stated somewhat proudly, handing the paper to Craigen the SVU chief.

He stared at it for a moment, somewhat surprised that they didn't find a signature of the bomb maker, "Every bomb maker has a signature, the FBI should be running the contents to find a match."

Alex scoffed at this, it "It doesn't matter, we know who did it. It's Cesar Velez fixing things for Zapata. The more important question is how did Zapata know who the CI is."

At this Munch chimed in, he was a lanky Jewish man, with a mouth smarter than hers on a good day. "The same way he knows where you and your mother live. He has the money and the power."

Oh yeah, Munch also has a big problem with the man, he hates authority and but he hates entitled people even more.

"And he's not going to stop until you back off or you're dead." Elliot chimed in again, they were now surrounding her like this was some kind of intervention.

"I have a protective detail, my mother has a protective detail, I'm not backing down." She rebutted without second thought.

"Alex there is no reason for you to die for this case." Olivia yelled.

With her signature smirk, Alex said, "Men like Zapata and Velez live on other peoples fear. It doesn't matter if I try this case or somebody else in my office does the intimidation is still there, it's always there. So I can either accept it as part of my job. " Her expression turned grim, "Or concede everything." She saw their faces, they would walk hell and back for her, and she didn't have the heart to force them to, or even see one of them end up like Donovan.

"But I don't want to put any of this on you. The DA's office has investigators -"

"They're a bunch of punks I'm in." Fin chimed first, not letting her finish the sentence. Fin was a built African American gentleman with a pony tail and a dark past, but he's always one that Alex could count on.

"I'm in." They all cheered in unison. Drawing a rare smile from Alex's lips. Suddenly a warm hand perched on Alex's shoulder. "Alex a word with you in my office."

As they stepped into Craigen's office, she watched the older man rifle through his drawers and pulled out a small revolver. Her eyes widened, as Craigen began to clean it and placed in on the desk slolwy, "I figured you were too gun- ho about this to let it go so I had this perpared for you, " Craigen said as he pulled a small card from his pocked and set it next to the gun, " It's my old service revolver a straight shot, and it won't jam up. And I had the license division expedite a carry permit for you."

Alex chucked amicably taking the card cautiously, "Without my signature?"

"I have your prints on file."

Before Alex could find a smart remark the phone rang, "Craigen...Okay...I'll let her know.

"Boss is looking for you."

This couldn't be anything good either.


DA's Office 3:00pm EST

Two knocks, usually all it took to get his attention.

Breath Alex breath. She remembered.

"Come in." Branch called.

Despite her better judgement she entered promptly, on autopilot for the mannerisms, she was nothing if not tactful. She found branch, like something out of the Godfather movie, reclined in his leather chair and a cup of whiskey in hand, shadows overcast his face as he stared at the still surprisingly put together lawyer in his room. He saw a very bright future ahead of her, he was grooming her to replace him in a few elections anyway. He could see it now. Or maybe it was the whiskey dulling his senses, but he could imagine it, "Alexandra Cabot, leads the crusade for women's justice."

"Your ears still ringing?" He joked trying to liven the dour mood.

"Yeah a little." She replied meekly indulging her boss.

"It'll pass, you know I had a fiend who did three years in Bogota, at the embassy, there was a time when one police officer got murdered every single day. Over a two month period Pablo Escobar set off nine car bombs." He said evenly.

"Well it's a good thing we live in the United States."

"And there are plenty of current law enforcement agents and judges living for the rest of their lives with a protective detail because they stood up to a Colombian cartel that will stop at nothing to protect the business." He said tiredly, he was tired of watching the young ones destroying their lives because they have not yet learned how to pick their battles.

"It's all the more reason to fight them." She interrupted, this time more forcibly.

"We have been fighting them Alexandra, since before you were born. Now we're going to drop the Zapata case." Branch commanded coldly.

"Why? How bad does this have to get? How may more people have to die?"

He shook his head with a sigh, " From what I hear the feds have a stronger case than we will ever have. And as for your other question, too many have died already."


New York Supreme Court 9:00 am EST

"Your honor at this time the people cannot continue the case against Rafael Zapata-Gavaria, and ask that the indictments against him be dropped with leave to represent."

Alex caught the smug glance that Zapata shot her, yes, she will let him revel in this small victory. Any moment now...

"Rafael Zapata Gavaria, you are hereby under arrest for the murder of a federal agent."


Joe's Bar 8:00 pm EST

"They tied Zapata to the car bomb, he's going to turn on Velez and Colombia can arrest him and start the extradition process." Craigen walked in cheerfully holding a carrying a pitcher of beer, taking a nice swig as he plopped down next to Alex.

Being the cynic Alex had to ask, "What does Zapata get for his troubles?"

"A reduced sentence and a new identity in the ass end of Arkansas." Fin chuckled ruefully.

"If he lives that long." Munch chimed in as he got up and fastened his jacket, "and on that note I will say goodnight, oh yea Fin you have to drive me early tomorrow so you need your sleep."

"Shit you need to hire a driver." Fin complained as he got up to pick up his jacket.

On that note Craigen said good night as well and left with Fin and Munch.

"Look we had a good run, conviction rates are up we had to get screwed sometime." Elliot tried to cheer her up.

"Cesar Velez can probably do more damage to Zapata than the justice system ever could." Olivia rationalized.

"It just never seems like enough you know. The feds will get Zapata for killing Donovan, but what about Livia Sandival. She dies without any justice and we should be happy about that? We tell ourselves that we speak for the victims, but we don't. We can close cases, and move on to the next, and the next, and the one after that, but the victims, even if they survive their lives are ruined. I just get so sick of it." Alex reasoned, in retrospect has she really ever won? Has she ever done any good. Yes, she has an award for highest conviction rates ever in the SVU history, but still, does that mean that the rape never happened, does it fix the victims lives. At the end of the day she has to tell the victims that she is not their lawyer, she is the lawyer who represents the interest of the District. It seems that law was just poetic justice wrapped up in coded legal jargon, and carefully encased in an ethical box.

"We can't always win Alex." Elliot said softly.

"But that's the thing, when we win, we don't."


As they left Joe's Alex could finally breathe. Finally the weight of the Zapata case was off her shoulders, it was no longer her responsibility for once to seek this poetic justice. With Olivia and Elliot by her side she knew that tomorrow they would set off on their next crusade, and then another, and countless other ones. A small genuine smile took over, as her features softened a moment before returning to her traditional deadpan.

The night was cold and quiet, almost too quiet. There was no speeding taxi, no rude pedestrian rushing somewhere, it was just the three of them. It didn't take them long to reach the intersection where they would go their separate ways.

"Do you need a ride." Olivia asked cordially. Alex turned around, then spun around whimsically. "No, I'm not far anyway."

They still had a small ways to go, until in the corner of her eye a black SUV barreled down the street next to them.

Then the shot that was heard around the world.

Suddenly there was no pain, vision blurred, and the pavement was rushing to meet her body. A sickening thud resounded in the aftermath. Eyes, ice blue eyes, faded as they were transfixed on the clear New York sky. She was transfixed on the fiery lights that dotted the midnight sky, until her eyes began to flutter as she teetered on the brink of consciousness. Agony blazed through her chest, crimson stained her lavender sweater, spraying out with each arduous beat of her heart. Somewhere in the haze she saw Olivia's face, as she mouthed something. Alex's mouth opened but no sound came out. Her hand reached desperately to grab Olivia's but only bone chilling ice overtook her limbs. She couldn't feel Olivia's touch anymore, the world slowly darkened.

Was this the end?