Disclaimer: I own nothing, as much as I would like to. Jo owns it all, lucky.
"Katie, Katie Scarlet Bell, get your lazy ass out of bed!"
Why do people have to wake me up so early? On Saturday's nonetheless. What's the point? Saturdays are marvelous days to sleep in! And to use my full name, the nerve. Stupid Angelina making me wake up. What could she possibly want? She normally sleeps in until four in the after noon. Normally this is the other way around.
And why the hell do I have a headache? What was I doing last-
Oh. Right. I'm getting married. I'm getting married today. To Oliver Wood. I'm getting married to Oliver Wood today and that is why Angelina is being a bitch and waking me up this early. I owe her. I would have slept through my wedding. Go figure.
"Hmmphh." Well, that should tell her not to wake me up, even if it is my wedding day.
"Katie, come on!" Oh, apparently Alicia's here, too. Good lord, how long have they been up for?
Oh right…. I made our hair appointments for eight in the morning. Was I drunk? I must have been drunk. Who the hell makes hair appointments that early in the morning? What times my wedding at? I think it's at noon.
"Katie! Your mum is going to kill us if we're late! Lets go!"
And then Angelina yanked me out of my nice, warm, fuzzy, comfortable, bed. That was not fun. That girl is really strong. And she underestimates it. Which makes it worse. I practically flew into my wall. Ha, my wall covered in Quidditch players. But not Oliver, because he's my fiancé and that would be weird.
Alicia tossed me a button up shirt to put on so I wouldn't mess up my hair later and some jeans. You'd think being twenty-five and all I'd be able to pick out my own clothes. But no, apparently when you get to marry Oliver Wood you don't get to pick out your own clothes. That could get annoying later. I'll have to bring it up.
I quickly got dressed and piled into the car after Angelina. Alicia was driving because she was the only one not hung-over from the rehearsal dinner. Should you be hung-over when you get married? Probably not. Oh well, Oliver's going to have to deal with it.
"Merlin, Katie. You'd think you'd be up to waking up on your wedding day and everything," Alicia commented, too loudly for my liking. Her voice echoed in my head for a straight minute. Apparently drinking rum and coke all night just wasn't a good idea. I'll have to keep that in mind for next time.
I hope there isn't a next time.
Unless I marry Oliver again.
Even though he snores.
"Alicia," I whined, "we were out until three in the morning. Pity me a little, will you? Please?"
Alicia sighed and turned into the hair salon, where Oliver's mother, my mother, aunt, and two little cousins, Tony and Tara, twins, were all sitting. All waiting for me.
Did I pick how I was going to do my hair? Oh shit. I forgot. They'll end up shaving all my hair off and instead of saying 'I do' Oliver will just laugh his huge head off.
Maybe Angelina will remember.
"Hey, Ang." I poked her in the side. She must really feel sick. She didn't whack me in the head yet.
…
I take that back.
"Ang." I'm whining again. "Do you remember how I'm supposed to get my hair done?"
"You marked it last week. Some up thing with curls and hair and stuff." Angie sounded half dead. I feel half dead. I hope I feel better later. Did I take aspirin before I went to bed last night? Or drink water? I don't think so. Shit.
"Katie, darling, there you are! We've been waiting!" Is it bad that the sound of my mothers voice this early in the morning is making me sick? Probably. But good lord, it's driving me freaking insane here.
"Hello, Mum. Mrs. Wood. Aunt Maggie. Tony and Tara. How are you all?" It's best to act not hung over in front of them. My mother would have a cow. We'd have a wedding and a funeral all in one day.
I had to hug each of them. Aunt Maggie put on way too much perfume this morning and I think Tony needs a diaper change. He's two. Isn't he potty trained yet?
"You ladies ready?" I recognized the voice of the stylist, Jill Danes. She had a nose ring. I asked my mum for a nose ring once. She threatened to pull a Michael Jackson and take my nose. I never asked again.
"I guess," I moaned. It wasn't really a LETS GET MARRIED day. It was more of a I want to sleep off this hang over until tomorrow day. My mother shot me a glare and helped me into the chair where my head got continually poked, prodded, pulled at, sprayed, clipped, curled, straightened, flipped, and tied until I thought it all fell out. At least it wouldn't have made a mess. It was all stuck together.
But I liked the result. The back was kind of crossed but it had little stray pieces falling randomly around my head. My long bangs were curled in and in my eyes Yeah that's going to be annoying. Anyway, the rest of my hair, that wasn't around my neck or in my eyes, was piled up on my head in a bunch of curls. I don't understand how people can get my hair curly. I've permed it, I've cursed it, I've curled it and it looks dead. It was like this dog I had once. It never did anything. Well, actually, once it bit my father in the leg but that's about it.
I was being spun around so everyone could see my hair. I was cross-eyed, glaring at the hair that was mocking me, falling in my face like that. I should just cut it off. Blah. It's going to be like that all day.
After I was done mentally threatening my hair, I noticed that Alicia, Angelina, my mother, and Oliver's mother had all gotten their hair done. Alicia and Angie both had it the same way, both being my maids of honor because I love them and couldn't choose. Theirs was half up, half down, lightly curled with little pins that looked like lilies. They sound like some kind of dinner. Lightly curly. Ha! They were so adorable. And they looked so innocent. Looked being the optimum word there.
"Awwww," I cooed, giving myself a headache. "You two look adorable!" I rushed over to hug them, much to their displeasure.
"Katie, stop it!" Alicia said. She lightly pushed me away and patted her hair.
"What time is it, darling?" Mrs. Wood asked me. Hey, soon I'll be Mrs. Wood. That's going to be confusing. And funny. I could answer her mail and be like psyche! Katie Scarlet Wood. It doesn't sound that bad. I may reconsider making him take my name.
Angie looked down at her watch and gasped. "It's, oh gosh, it's nine thirty. We've got to get in our dresses, Katie!"
I didn't have enough time to comprehend what she said before both of my wrists were grabbed and I was being pulled back into the car, but not too roughly or my hair would get messed up. It looks good. Except the bangs. Think it'd look bad if I cut them off really quick? They're really annoying me.
"Katie, don't lean back! You'll flatten the curls!" Angie said, prying my back from the back seat of the car. God, what is she? My mother?
Before I knew it we were back at my mother's house. Alicia ran out of the car and unlocked the door. Angie was trying to get me to move. Eventually I cooperated when she threatened to de-manify Oliver. And all that came to mind was Oliver in a dress and we couldn't have that.
Angie pushed me through my house and up to my bedroom where I immediately went to crash on my nice, warm, comfortable, welcoming bed. I was almost in the process of falling when a three thousand pound bag fell into my arms. My legs collapsed on impact.
"Sorry," Alicia said. She helped me up, and took the bag from me. "Put this on."
"What is it?" I still wasn't awake and so far, I'd been denied coffee. And headache relievers. These people are insane.
"You're wedding dress, Katie. Because you're getting married in two and a half hours."
"Oh… okay," I said. I shooed her out of the room and unzipped the bag. After momentarily forgetting what the bloody dress looked like, I pulled it out and let out a small gasp, which was sadly the most intelligent thing I'd done all day.
It was a very pretty dress. I remember when I picked it out, Alicia almost cried. She kept complaining later about how much her dressed sucked compared to it. Mines pretty. It was a long, white, strapless dress. It has this silvery sparkly stuff in this amazing design at the top going to a point kind of near the top of my rib cage and more on the bottom that kind of looked like a crown. It had white gloves that went up to my elbows, which are pretty cool too, and I have a tiara.
I'm proud of myself. I managed to put the thing on without ripping it anywhere. And put the gloves on the first time without missing any fingers, which I've done many times before. But then I had to take them off because I had to put my shoes on, too. Which are pretty as well. They're really high, I don't know how I'm going to walk in them, and silver to go with the sparkly stuff on my dress. And really strappy. I've always like strappy shoes. Yeah, they make me almost as tall as Alicia. She's got five inches on me.
"Katie! What's taking you so long? Are you ready?" I heard Angie calling from the other side of the door. I managed to stand up, put my gloves on, missing a couple fingers and having to redo it at least three times, and cling to the wall to get to the door so that I could unlock it.
She walked in. "Zip me up?" I said, turning around so she could help me. "Ouch." She got part of my back in the zipper. "Thanks."
"Mhmm. Did you decide on make-up?"
Oh shit. Was I supposed to do that? Why don't I remember picking out make-up? Wasn't someone else supposed to do it for me? Why do I have all the responsibility for my wedding? That's just not right. And the fact that I completely forgot that I have to paint my face with unknown colors right now isn't helping at all.
"Um…nope." I was playing with my necklace now. Oh, good thing too because I would have forgotten to take it off. It's gold and doesn't match the dress. I took of the necklace carefully, it was the first thing Oliver ever gave me, besides bruises from hours upon hours of Quidditch practice, and turned to face Angie.
"You didn't?" She put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips. I shook my head and she came marching over. She grabbed my face with one hand, squeezing my cheeks together. I'll bet you any amount of money I looked like a fish.
"Um… Angie?"
"I think if we put a brown with some silver on the edges, a bit of eyeliner, and mascara, your eyes will be good. As for your cheeks, a really, really pale pink will do and just some copper lip gloss will do." I looked at her in amazement. How does she do that? I'd have to reapply make-up five times before deciding I liked the second combination better than the first one and last four. Stupid people with their good taste.
"That could… um… that could work? Would you do it for me?" I'd end up dropping the eyeliner down my dress and it'd leave a big black streak and I wouldn't be able to get it out because I'm twenty-five and don't have that much life experience. Well, at least not enough to know how to get eyeliner out of a beautiful wedding dress.
Angie agreed. She sat me down on a stool in the middle of my bedroom and got her make-up together. The stool was too tall for me to reach the ground so I was kicking my feet around. But guess what? My heal got stuck in my dress. On the inside. It got stuck. My heal got stuck to my wedding dress. Do you know how much that sucks?
"Um… Angie?" I called out tentatively.
"Hm?" she called from the bathroom. She was, I'm assuming, trying to find the colors she was telling me about. She's got enough make-up in there. From our Halloween years at Hogwarts to the Yule Ball. That's a lot of makeup.
"I'm stuck," I moaned. I saw her stick her head out the bathroom door.
"You're what exactly?" she asked. An eyebrow rose. I was always afraid of her when she did the whole raising one eyebrow thing, not only because I couldn't do it myself, but also because it was so threatening.
"My foot. It's stuck in my dress…" I closed my eyes as soon as I said it. I could hear a bunch of things being knocked over and in less than a second Angie was standing in front of me, hands on her hips again.
"How?" she was staring at the bottom of my dress, a confused expression on her face, which is understandable. Not many people are as skilled as I am that they can accomplish something this crazy… or this stupid.
"My shoe. I was swinging my feet… and it got stuck." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I put on my most innocent face I could muster. I don't think I looked that innocent though. Probably more like a raccoon than anything, but I was going to have to live with that.
"Lift up your other leg," she commanded. I looked up at her like she was crazy. There was no way she was going to go under my dress. Not a chance in the world.
"Okay," I said. Okay, so I lied. But I had to get my shoe out! It will put a huge hole in it and then my legs will be cold and I'll fall over because I'll be shaking and Oliver will laugh and won't marry me because he'll be laughing so hard. That wouldn't be good at all.
Angie managed to get my shoe out of my dress. She almost twisted my ankle, but she did it. And then fixed the ever so small hole with her wand. It's a good thing we're witches, otherwise I'd be completely screwed. "Please don't blow the dress up before I get back," she said before she went back to the bathroom to get the rest of the make-up.
Like I could blow up the dress. I don't even have a lighter on me. Alicia took mine away. It's not my fault burning things is so much fun. It's like there… and then a minute later it's all ashy and black. Very amusing. But I shouldn't burn stuff. It'd get on my dress.
Speak of the devil. Alicia just walked in. She was wearing her bridesmaid dress. It was a dark, sapphire blue with a silver waistband and trim. It was really pretty. I let Angie and her help me pick them out in fear of getting scary dresses for them. They would kill me three times over. And that would be bad.
"Oh, Katie! You look beautiful!" Alicia ran over and hugged me. See, that's not fair. She's wearing heels too (dark blue ones to match the dress) yet she can still run in them. Where as I can hardly walk and put holes in my dress with them. How is that fair? I don't see the fairness in that at all. Stupid Alicia and her gracefulness.
"Thanks, Alicia. You look gorgeous, too. The dresses really do look good," I said, patting her back. I mean, what else was I supposed to do? I couldn't mess up her hair, she would kill me and apparently we're running late as it is.
"Anyway, I came up to tell you that Oliver is here," she let go of me and stood up straight. I don't know how she does that, either. I always slouch. It's easy and I'm lazy. It happens. But then I realized what she said.
Oliver's here. He can't be here. He's the groom. And I'm the bride. And the groom can't see the bride on their wedding day. It's like… bad luck or something! I'm going to have to kill him. But then I'd be a widow and in Azkaban and that would suck. I wonder if they'd put me in there in my wedding dress. That'd be pretty cool… except for the whole lack of happiness thing. And I'd probably get raped by all the creepy people in there. That would suck, too. And Oliver would be gone. I'd be sad.
"What do you mean Oliver's here? He's not supposed to be here! Tell him to go away!" I shooed Alicia out the door. She could handle Oliver. She's strong. She broke my wrist in an arm wrestling game once. It was pretty hysterical explaining that to Madame Pomfrey. She didn't believe us for a second so we had to bring in witnesses. Hermione didn't like being taken away from her studies but it was just something we had to do. Otherwise I would have had to do it the muggle way and worn a cast. But that would have taken me away from Quidditch. And that would have been bad.
"Angie! Hurry! We're running late." I'd just looked at the clock. It was a little after ten and we had to be at the church at ten thirty. I don't know why we're meeting at the church. I'm not getting married in it. Oliver wanted to get married on the Quidditch pitch and I wanted to get married at Hogwarts. So we compromised. The Hogwarts Quidditch pitch worked for both of us.
Angelina came back in with a little hand basket filled with makeup. I swear there were at least thirty different shades of brown in there. That girl is insane. And the lipstick would be enough to paint the Mona Lisa. It's crazy. One of the eye shadows actually looks like cinnamon. Mmm.
Which reminds me. I haven't eaten yet today. I'm starving! Am I going to have to wait until after the wedding. Until the reception? That's a long time. I'm starving. I don't like this game. When I pretended to get married when I was little we always stopped to eat lunch. Can you stop a wedding right in the middle to eat lunch? I could leave… but that would be like leaving him at the altar. Which would be bad.
"Close your eyes," she said, bending over me and shining a light in my face. I did as told and saw a whole bunch of little shapes. The stupid light. It was really bright. I'll have to yell at her later for that. I could feel eye shadow being swiped on and some eyeliner. "Open." I opened my eyes and she put on the mascara, almost getting it in my eye multiple times, but how she managed not to, I'll never know. "Open your mouth."
"What? Why?"
"Lip gloss, dork."
"Oh." I opened my mouth and I could feel her brushing the little lip thing on my mouth. Ew. I could taste it. Isn't it made of like fish scales or something? I heard that before and I never wanted to wear anything on my face again. But I don't think I had a choice here. I mean, I could bite her hand but she'd probably smack me in the head or something.
"Done." The light backed off from my face, which is good because I was getting really, really hot under there, and I stood up to see what I looked like.
When I saw my reflection I was shocked. This had to be the best I've ever looked in my entire life. I'm not even kidding when I say I look amazing.
"Wow, Katie. You look beautiful." I could tell that Scottish accent from a mile away. Oliver was standing in the doorway. I panicked. What happened to Alicia stopping him from coming in? She should know that she had my permission to paralyze him if necessary! I'm going to kill her. This is bad. It's bad luck.
"Oliver!" I closed my eyes and ran towards the door. Maybe I could reverse this. If I don't see him maybe the stupid bad luck wont work. Maybe I'll have good luck for trying. "You're not supposed to see me!" I hissed. He chuckled. How could he chuckle? I was serious! If this screws our life together I'm totally blaming him.
"Why not?" he asked. I grabbed his arms and tried to push him out the door. From what I could tell he was leaning against the frame with his arms crossed and I can guarantee you he has on a cocky smile.
"Its bad luck!" I kept pushing.
"There's no bad luck when I'm around," he said. God, he must have gained weight. This guy will not budge!
"How long have you been in this house?"
"About twenty minutes."
"I'm going to kill you, Wood," I threatened. I was. This is not good.
"But you love me, Katie."
"Oliver Wood, you get out of here, right now!"
"We need to get going anyway, Katie," Angelina was saying. I can't leave. Oliver just ruined our wedding Now, we're going to grow old and ugly and always fighting about who gets the last prune. That is not how I want to live my life!
"But Oliver saw me! Why isn't anyone slapping him?" I threw out my arms, apparently whacking Oliver in the face. He grunted. My eyes were still closed. I refuse to look at him. It's bad luck. Well, yeah. He ruined his chance at good luck.
"Slap him after you get married, Katie. We need to get to the church!" Alicia? When did she get here? I must have missed something. "Oliver get out before I'm forced to use deadly weapons on you." Go Alicia! I knew I loved her for a reason! She gets a puppy. She's making Oliver go away. How come that didn't work in school? Quidditch would have been so much easier.
As I ramble in my own head I realize that something is pressed against my face, well, lips to be more specific. My eyes already closed, I just have to assume that it's Oliver so I kick him in the shin. I hear him grunt and I do a little dance for hitting target. The door opens, and then closes and I figure it's safe to open my eyes.
I was right but as soon as I do, Alicia grabs my arm and pulls me out the door. I go into shut-eye mode just in case Oliver is still here, which makes it really, really hard to go down stairs. Especially in heals.
"Where are we going now, Alicia?" You know what I just realized? My headache is pretty much gone. That's good. You really don't want a drunken Katie saying 'I do'…. Or puking. That'd be gross.
"To the church. We're taking pictures there and then we're just apparating to Hogwarts for the actual wedding. And then the Leaky Cauldron for the reception. You remember all of this, right?"
No.
"Of course I do!"
Alicia sighed with relief. She pushed me in the front seat of her car, she got in the drivers seat, and Angie got in the back with her make-up case. Apparently my lack of remembering put her behind schedule. Oh. Whoops. That happens.
When we got to the church I saw my mother again. She was grinning like a maniac when she saw me. I think I might need to call the nice men with the needles and white jackets. But then I might not get any inheritance. That would suck.
I saw my dad too. He looked slightly less insane. Which is good. Because I carry both of their genes and I don't want to be insane like my mother. I do want to keep my hair like her. Because my dad's bald. And I don't want to be bald. I walked up carefully to hug him, I had to be careful, my heals were sinking into the ground. He reached up to mess up my hair like he always does but Alicia was there in an instant and caught his wrist.
"Not yet, Mr. Bell. She just got it done," Alicia warned.
My dad smiled a sad smile. Which made me sad. It means I'm really growing up. I don't like it. Maybe if I ask him for money, he'll think I'm a little kid again. I'll have to do that later.
"Would it be bad of me to forbid you to marry Oliver? Don't get me wrong, I love the boy but you know you could just live with your mother and me for the rest of your life. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Dads. Of course he'd say that. Although, that would also mean that Oliver would be there and I'm pretty damn sure he wouldn't want us making-out during breakfast. I bet he wouldn't be able to hold his pancakes.
"Pictures, everyone! Let's go! I've got a bat mitzvah after this!" Why does my photographer have a French accent? I thought we were going to get the Creevy kid to take pictures. And what the hells a bat mitzvah? Maybe it's a muggle thing.
I turn around to ask Alicia what's up with this guy but all I get is, "SMILE!" Now, I hate getting my pictures taken. Especially when I don't even know what's going on. So my first wedding picture is a very bad one of a confused Katie. Terrific.
After about forty more pictures I started to realize I wish I had a cool talent, like being able to touch my nose with my tongue. Or lick my elbow. Or look up and down at the same time. My face is killing me. It's stiff from all of the stupid pictures.
I wonder if we're doing more pictures with Oliver's family later. I'm getting a vague memory here. Okay, so for the next big event I'm getting a tattoo saying not to drink. I know, my grandfather would be proud, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell him. I haven't seen him yet. That could possibly be due to the white lights that are permanently etched onto my eyes. Blah.
It's amazing the amount of different combinations you can get with people. I've had pictures with my parents, my mother, my father, them and my aunts, just my aunts, all of them with Alicia and Angelina in turn. It's insane. And I'm in every single freaking picture. Why? They must really, really like my dress. It is really pretty. Damn, I should have bought this for the Yule Ball.
By eleven fifteen, apparently we were done because now everyone was getting into groups. For what? I'm assuming port keys because there are little kids wandering around. Like my nephew, Stravos. Yeah, my brother got married a couple years ago… well like five years ago. Stravos is five. His wife, Caitlin, my sister-in-law thing, is here somewhere. I think she's pregnant again. Like five months or something. Anyway, Stravos is running up to Mum and pulling on her skirt. I hope it gets wrinkles. She was always neat freak. Maybe I'll forbid her from being dewrinklefied at my wedding. She'd be pissed and kill me. It would be interesting, though.
"Come on, Katie. Can you apparate to Hogwarts? Or are you completely hung over?" I heard Angie say to me. I glared at her. I but I wasn't as hung over as she was. She normally drinks way more than I do.
I went to reach for my wand, which is normally in my pocket of my jeans. But guess what? No jeans. No pocket. No wand. "Angie," I said. I put on my amazing innocent smile. It normally works… with Oliver. And how are Oliver and Angie any different? Besides the whole he's a man and she's a woman thing. But I mean, they were both Quidditch captains at Hogwarts! And both handled quaffles! See absobloodylutly the same! Kind of.
Well the innocent look didn't work. She turned, almost glared at me, but I'm assuming she restrained from that. "Katie, what did you do?"
"I forgot my wand. In my pants. Back at home. Which is not good. Because now I wont be able to get to the wedding. Oliver will have to marry someone else! Tell him I'm sorry." I wanted to plop down right there in the grass but I would have gotten my dress dirty. And that would be been bad.
"You forgot your wand?" I nodded. "In your pants?" I nodded again. "Which are at home?" Good God could she be any more dense? I nodded again for her sake. "Do you not see the port keys lying around everywhere? For your cousins, nephew, and all of the other little kids."
Well, didn't I feel stupid. I could have just hitched a ride with Reed, my brother, and Caitlin and Stravos. They wouldn't mind, I'm sure. It is my wedding. I could just uninvited them.
Alicia and Angie already apparated, so did my mother and father. I think the rest are taking port keys because they have kids and such. And over half already left. Hey, I see my aunt. I wave to her. She mouthed something to me. Probably to hurry up. Yeah, like I'll miss my wedding. That'd just be stupid.
Stupid shoes. Why did it have to be muddy. I'm hiking the skirt of my dress up to my shins so it doesn't get dirty and my shoes are stuck in the mud. Go figure. At least they're not stuck in my dress. Or muddy and stuck I my dress. Because that would kind of suck, you know. There'd be a big muddy hole in my nice, white, gorgeous dress.
I look over to Reed and Caitlin. Reed waved at me and grabbed a deflated balloon. Why would he pick up a deflated-?
Shit.
"Stravos! Grab the balloon!" So, that was the last thing I heard before they disappeared. At least Stravos got the balloon. But… I have no way to get to my wedding. That can't be healthy.
What to do? What to do? What should I do? I mean, I don't have my wand, everyone else left me, so what? I do have the car though. I mean, sure I've never driven one before and Alicia's half muggle so she got her permit. But it can't be that hard, can it? And it's my only way. I can drive home and get my wand and then I can apparate to my wedding. Not a big deal, right?
So I unstuck my shoes from the mud and trudge my way over to the car. Good thing Alicia is so unthinking. She left her keys in the … the key hole thing. So how do I make it go? The peddles on the floor probably do something. So I push those. Nothing happens. Well, maybe the keys do something. I push them in farther. Nothing happens. But there's an arrow on the thing they're in. So I follow the arrow and turn it. The car roars to life. That works. I hit the pedal on the left first and nothing happens, so I hit the one next to it and I jerk forward. That's fine and dandy and everything but I need to be facing the other way. There's a stick thing next to me. Should I move that around? Sure. I push it to the R to see what happens and hit the moving pedal.
I flew backwards and practically gave myself whiplash. Right, so, I need to turn around, just not so fast. I almost slammed my head on the wheel thingy. So if I turn that will it turn the car? Life is so much easier on a broom.
Ha, imagine that. A bride on a broom. Could you even imagine? That'd be something to laugh at. Although I would prefer it to this. This stupid thing smells like petrol.
I somehow manage to turn around and drive halfway home, avoiding red lights so I don't have to stop, and pedestrians so I didn't kill anyone. But then the car starts to get all jittery and finally stops. So that can't be good. I pound on the pedal again but it just makes this weird noise.
Alicia is going to kill me. I just broke her car. A car! I mean, sure a brush is one thing but her car! And on my wedding day. I was stressed! And I was hung over! Although that's not a good excuse! What do I do!
I jump out of my car and do the only thing I can possibly think of. Run. Of course, I only get about ten feet before I realize that I'm in heals and they're killing me. So I do the next thing I can think of. I take off my shoes. Sure, my feet are going to get all nasty but I have to get to my wedding. People have got to be wondering where I am by now. They'll think I left Oliver! And then there will be no wedding! Because you can't have a wedding without a bride, can you?
So, home is only like half a mile away, like four blocks. That's not that bad, right. And it's pretty much just one road. So I abandon the car in the middle of the street and run as fast as I can, trying to keep my tiara on, my dress from getting dirty, and holding my shoes all at the same time. It's hard to do when you only have two hands. I keep having to rotate between using my arms for running. My left hand is holding my shoes so I have to keep reaching up to make sure the tiara is still there and my right hand is propping up my dress so it doesn't drag and get all dirty.
By the time I get home, I collapse on the couch. That was a long run. My legs are killing me and my feet are filthy. I should probably wash them. And do you know how many weird looks you get running down the street in a wedding dress?
After spending some time on the couch I look up at the clock. Damnit. It was eleven forty five. Am I that out of shape? Sheesh. Alicia is going to kill me. Why didn't I just wait at the church? Someone was bound to have popped back eventually, don't you think? Blah, stupid spur of the moment things.
"First things first," I mutter to myself. I need to wash my feet. They hurt. Really bad. I don't ever remember being in this much pain. Well, yes I do. My first Quidditch practice was a bitch. Why do I put myself in pain for Oliver? He owes me. I'm making him have the kids. He needs to grow a damn uterus.
I walk carefully to the bathroom, trying not to open the blisters because cement in August is freaking hot. Then I pulled my dress up as high as it would go and filled the tub with water and soap.
The water felt really, really nice on my stupid feet. I could just relax in there all day. Well, actually I couldn't. I'm getting married. This sucks. Stupid Oliver. This is all his fault! If he didn't walk in when I was wearing my wedding dress I wouldn't be having all this bad luck.
My dress was up to my thighs. I hope it wasn't getting wrinkly. That would suck. My cell phone is ringing. Great, my hands are wet and I have to stick them down my dress. My phone is in my bra. Well, where else was I going to put it? I don't like carrying purses. I leave them everywhere. The number of times I've left one on top of my mother's car is uncountable.
Quickly, I dry off my hands on the towel hanging on the wall and grabbed my phone. Cold hands suck. I checked the caller ID. It was Alicia. Why didn't I just call her to begin with? Stupid. Stupid. Ugh. She's going to be pissed at me for killing her car. But I had to. Otherwise… well I'd probably still be at the church where everyone could find me. My logic isn't going to work in this one.
"'Ello?"
"Katie." Her voice was strained. "Where the hell are you?!" She yelled that time. I had to hold the phone out from my ear. I almost dropped it in the bathtub. That would have sucked. She's going to kill me.
"I'm washing my feet…" Well it was the truth. I'm not going to lie. Although just about any lie sounds better than the truth right there. I'm not at my wedding because I'm washing my aching feet. Bah.
"Why the hell are you washing your feet?" Yeah, she was fuming. I bet her face was beat red. And I can imagine my mum and Angie on either side of her, both equally as mad, wondering where I am. It happens.
"Because they're dirty from running!" They were… it was disgusting. The water is like… brown. I think there's a bug floating in there too. That's nasty.
"What the hell? Why were you running?"
"Because I killed your car!"
"You what?" Oops. I probably shouldn't have just blurted that one out. I should have told her after the wedding. And probably after the honeymoon as well. Spain. That's going to be fun. If I ever get married!
"I'll explain later! I've got to finish washing my feet! Tell everyone to stay! I'm coming! There was just some… difficulties on my way getting there." Many difficulties actually. Why, oh why, did this have to happen to me?
"Have you seen what time it is?" Oh, God. Who gave my mother the phone? I'm going to be hearing about this one forever. Life sucks.
"Yes, Mum. But it's not my fault. Blame Oliver!" It really is his fault. He cursed the wedding. He really did.
"How is it Oliver's fault? He's here on time, waiting patiently for his bride who's home washing her feet?" So apparently that sounded better in my head. I should be there soon though. My feet are now relatively clean. They just hurt. But I'm tough. I can take it.
"He saw me in my wedding dress before the actual wedding!" I shouted into the phone. I picked up the towel I'd brought with me off of the floor and dried off my now clean feet. They just hurt. Do you think any one would notice if I attached ice packs to them? Then I strapped my shoes back on.
My mother gasped. "He didn't!"
"He did," I said matter-of-factly. You see, my family is very superstitious. So when something like this happens, it's a big deal. And I can guarantee you that the bad luck isn't going to stop at this. I hope we don't get a divorce today, too. It's one of those things where you need to throw salt over your shoulder or something.
"Well hurry up and get over here before we have any more problems!" Right, I'll get right on that. Without saying good bye, I hung up the phone. It's much easier that way.
I managed to limp my way into my bedroom where I left my jeans from this morning. Wand. Wand. Wandy, where are you? It's got to be here somewhere. Why didn't I do laundry like when Mum said I should? This is not a good time. I need a key chain for it. Yeah, that might help. Especially for times like this. Gosh.
How the hell did they get under my bed! I threw them by the closet! Stupid magic. Maybe it, it being my wand, exploded. Anyway, my point was that I found it. And I can now apparate to my wedding, hopefully without any distractions. Like the fact that my cell phone is really cold and I really should have invested in a purse.
I quickly apparate to the Quidditch field. The first thing I do, before even getting a chance to breathe, which I wish I could have because you're lungs get really compressed and it sucks when you apparate, was get pulled into some tent thing. I open my eyes. They were closed because of the force. I look around and see a whole bunch of little girls, I don't think I know half of them, running around in dresses. I see Alicia over in the corner, calming my mother. There's a saltshaker next to her. Go figure. And Angie is talking to Great Grandma Bell. She's sporting her bright pink floral pants, vibrant green shirt, and a huge hat with an assortment of flowers on top. I love Great Grandma Bell. She's crazy and bought me a parrot for my fifth birthday. Mum was thrilled.
"Katie! You're here! Finally! The wedding was supposed to start four minutes ago! We've got to get going! Fred and George Weasley are keeping the families occupied while we wait."
Fred and George? Keeping them occupied! Last time they did that at a family event we had to buy Angie's grandma new dentures! They got lost in the applesauce! It was supposed to be a "magic" trick. The muggle kind, you know?
"Alicia, go get them before they give my father a heart attack!" I motioned to the door that I was forced through and collapsed on a chair that was near me. It wasn't very comfortable but I'll manage.
"Auntie Katie! Auntie Katie!" It was Stravos. Why he was in here, I'll never know. Well, his mother's in here… and she's a bridesmaid. And Reed is a best man thing. But why is he in here? Shouldn't he be with… his family… or something?
"What is it Stravos?" I asked wearily. Hey, cut me some slack. It's been a long day and I ran more today than I have in years. Oliver might have been my captain but I don't let him boss me around as much as I did before. I grew up to be very assertive.
"I found this bug! It's really cool! I named it Peter and, and, and I put him on this pillow! Look!" Stravos holds up a small white pillow. It was holding not only the little black bug named Peter, but two golden rings. Aw shit. He's the ring bearer isn't he? This is not good.
"Um, Stravos? Can we put Peter back in the grass? I think he might be hungry." Five year olds are so easy to manipulate.
"But Stravos is very tired. He's had a long day, Auntie Katie. He went to the moon!" Creative imagination. He's like Fred and George in a five year old body. Yeah, no. That's just weird.
"Go ask your mum what you should do with Peter, okay?" I said wearily. I couldn't make him put the bug on the ground where it would get stepped on and killed. That'd just be too cruel. And he'd know, because he's smart.
"Katie! Are you ready? We're about to start!"
This is it. This is the big one. There's no turning back now. I can't believe I'm giving myself this speech. Someone just thrust my flowers into my hands. I was pretty much in a daze, following the person in front of me. This can't be happening can it? Am I really getting married?
It was really hard to focus on my surroundings but I tried really hard. The first thing I noticed was the smell. That familiar smell, it smelled so good. Quidditch. Dirt. Mud. Grass. Brooms. It smelled amazing. But it was mixed with Hogwarts, making it incredible. It was so relaxing.
The next thing I realized was how many people were here. I mean, I had the numbers crunched and everything but I didn't realize that there were going to be this many people. The whole pitch is almost filled. And it's a really long walk from my tent to the altar. It's kind of boring actually. I'm letting my mind wander. That's great. I can see my kids asking me now. "Mommy? What were you thinking about when you were walking down the isle? You were thinking of Daddy, weren't you?" and I'd reply "No, sorry honey, I was thinking about how long and boring that walk actually is." Fantastic.
But what I really noticed, when I was halfway there, was something I completely wasn't expecting to see. Now, I've talked about Reed and Caitlin and Stravos but did I ever mention that I had a sister? Yeah, she was the oldest out of us three. Her name was Hannah. Hannah Elizabeth actually. She's ten years older than me, four older than Reed. I haven't seen her in five years. I didn't even know she got an invitation! I mean, of course I was planning on inviting her but I didn't think she'd show! And I didn't know if Mum mailed her an invitation.
But when I saw her, her brown hair pulled back slightly curled, her belly bulging, just a little bit for you to get the hint, out of her magenta dress my eyes filled with tears. There she was, plain and simple, standing there, smiling like there was no tomorrow. I almost stopped walking to go give her a hug but I restrained. I could do that later. She looked like she was about to cry too.
You look beautiful, she mouthed. Her hands were resting on her belly and I smiled wide. I was passing her so I had to look away, but it was hard. She looked almost exactly the same, although now she was pregnant. Her hair was the same color and length, her smile just as contagious as before, her heart on her sleeve, as always. Caleb was there next to her, I noticed. His hand was on her shoulder and he was beaming up at me as well. It took me a second to realize that I was the center of attention here.
Three quarters of the way there I noticed Oliver. He had on the same cocky smile that I know and love. His hands were folded in front of him. But oh, my God. Do you know what he's wearing? Why doesn't anyone inform me of things like this? Shouldn't I know? I am the bride here.
Oliver. Is. Wearing. A. Kilt.
I must have had on the most ridiculous face because I could hear people on either side of my snickering, trying to make it look unnoticeable. Yeah, that wasn't working for them. Take an acting class! I give Oliver this weird look and he just chuckles.
Wasn't I supposed to know these things? I mean, I planned this. Didn't I help him pick out his tux thing? Was that just a decoy? I'm going to kill you, Oliver Wood. I look next to him and see Fred and George, who thankfully are wearing suits, and his brother, Jordon who was also wearing a kilt. Next to him was Stravos with the rings and Peter.
I finally got to the altar and smiled my biggest smile. Oliver still had on his cocky smile but it was mixed with innocence and guilt at the same time. That's my Oliver. I turned to hand my beautiful flowers (lilies) to Angie who took them along with her own and then turned back to face Oliver.
So weddings are really long and boring. I mean, through the whole thing, I couldn't concentrate. Especially because Oliver kept laughing! I don't get the joke! I want to be laughing instead of listening to this man rant about God only knows what. Although, I suppose I should be paying attention because this is after all my wedding.
There was a light breeze, which, normally I wouldn't mind on a hot day like this but right now it as driving my crazy. Remember those annoying bangs I mentioned earlier? Yeah, well the wind is blowing those and they're tickling my forehead. I'm staring up at them, giving them the death glare. I can see Oliver looking slightly concerned with this abnormal behavior but I don't care. After about a minute, though, I think he realized what was annoying me so much because he reached up and swept my bangs away from my forehead.
I love this man.
With a sigh of relief, I smile. I started looking around Well, not completely around but like over Oliver's shoulder and such. Guess what I see. Fred and George. Yes, big shock there, right? But guess what they're doing? Well, currently Fred is cross-eyed and sticking his tongue out at me, and George has his cheeks puffed out and one eye is pointed straight, the other to the middle. I couldn't help but giggle at this. Oliver laughs, too. I can only imagine what's going on behind me. I hope they get this all on camera so that I can see it later.
After a few more minutes of this, it comes time for Oliver and me to say our vows. We chose the traditional ones because we were too lazy to make up some of our own. Hey, it happens.
Oliver goes first. Why, I don't know. But what are you supposed to do while he's talking. So I just smile. I probably look like a goof. But not as much as Fred and George who are fluttering their eye lashes at me, causing me to look down and try not to laugh out loud.
Uh-oh. My turn. I hope I remember everything.
"I, Katie Scarlet Bell, take you, Oliver Edward Wood, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part." Wow that took a lungful of air but I said it. And tears are streaming down my face. Why I'm crying, I have no idea, but I am. It was just so… so… incredible, you know? Amazing. I mean, I actually remembered everything I had to say without messing it up!
When Stravos came up with the rings, Oliver took the one he was supposed to put on me and Peter was on it. He went to flick it off but Stravos screamed.
"DON'T KILL PETER!!!!"
Oliver looked momentarily shocked before he realized what Peter was and carefully picked him off and put him back on Stravos's pillow. He giggled and ran back next to Jordon, who was trying not to laugh.
With a little more talking, and a couple of I do's we got the, "You may now kiss the bride!"
Oliver put his hands at my waste and gave me the most cutest, romantic, adorablist kiss ever! I was shocked, because you know it's Oliver and I was expecting something completely crazy. It shocked me so much that I actually went weak in the knees and fell into him. I heard some chuckles from the family and a few 'Awww's but nothing more.
When he pulled away I was grinning like a maniac. "I love you," I whispered. He smiled.
"I love you, too."
"I bet I can beat you to the end of the isle!"
"You're on!"
Oh come on, like you didn't expect me to challenge him. I hiked up my dress and started sprinting as fast as I could in heals. Oliver was running backwards because he could. The dork. But we both made it to the end at the same time because I love him and didn't want to embarrass him on his wedding day. Heh.
When we got to the end, I put my dress back down and took his hand. We walked off to the Great Hall together; hand in hand, husband and wife. When we got there, he sat down at one of the smaller tables put up for us and I collapsed in his lap. He held me there and we sat in peace for a couple of minutes before I remembered.
"Your legs are hairy," I pointed out, looking down at his shins. They were. He chuckled. "And how come you didn't tell me you were wearing a kilt! It's one of the things the bride should know!"
"I didn't think you'd let me," Oliver said with an innocent grin. "Besides isn't it easier to ask for forgiveness?" I rolled my eyes.
"Only if you don't want to get in trouble for asking for permission." It's true. I used to do that all the time when I was little. Like when my mother was baking and she'd finish a pan thing of cookies and I'd eat one and just put on the big round eyes. "I'll let this one slide."
"So, Mrs. Wood, did you see who I saw?" I have no idea what he was talking about. We were face opposite ways during the whole wedding. So I saw Fred, George, and Jordon and he clearly saw Alicia, Angie, and Caitlin, who should be around here somewhere with Reed and Stravos.
"Well, I don't think I saw who you saw because I saw Fred, George, and Jordon and you saw Alicia, Angie, and Caitlin." I speak my thoughts. What's wrong with that?
"Not them! You saw her didn't you?" I was looking him in the eye, trying to figure out whom he was talking about. But he wasn't looking at me. He was looking just over my shoulder, across the Great Hall.
"Who are you-?" But he took my head and turned it ever so slightly so that I could see who he was talking about. Then I remembered that long walk down the isle and the one person that made me cry the most. Hannah was standing in the doorway, holding hands with Caleb. She was beaming. When she noticed that I noticed her she started to run but I held my hands out, motioning for her to slow down. I popped off my own shoes, gave them to Oliver, hiked up my dress for what felt like the millionth time that day, and ran over to her, ignoring the pain the blisters sent.
"HANNAH!" I yelled when I got to her. I dropped my dress and engulfed her in a hug. "I didn't know you were coming! Mum didn't say anything! And the baby! And Caleb! And oh, my God!" I hugged her again, this time not letting go for a while. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I haven't seen you in five years! Why haven't you come to visit? Or called? Or tell me about that!" I pointed to her stomach, a huge smile on my face. "I mean! I'm going to be an Auntie for God's sake and you don't even tell me! Is it a boy or a girl? How far along are you? Did you pick out names?"
"Katie, Katie breathe!" She was laughing softly. "This day isn't about me. It's about you! You look beautiful Katie. And I love your dress. It's gorgeous. And you're already an Auntie, Katie. Remember Reed? Remember Stravos? Caitlin?"
"But… but… awe!" I hugged her again. Screw Reed, Hannah's here because of me! Not because of him this time. And last time he got all the attention. Well, it was his wedding but that's not the point, you know? She's my sister too! We have more in common. We… both have long, dirty blond hair. Reed's hair is dark brown. That's enough for me. "So, is it a boy? Or a girl?"
Hannah bit her lip; she did that when she was excited. Caleb was slowly making his way over. I don't think he wanted to be involved in this girl talk. I don't blame him although it is his child we're talking about. Awe.
"It's a," she took a deep breath. If she weren't pregnant I would have punched her in the arm. "It's a girl." I squealed and jumped up and down with her, dancing. We spun in circles for a few seconds and giggled, like girls do when they find out someone is pregnant, or the pregnant person tells someone she's pregnant. You just can't help it.
"Name! What are you going to name her?" I asked. The smile on my face was huge. I know its normal for me to be with my husband right now but screw him! My sister's having a baby! A baby girl! Now I'll have a niece and a nephew! Life is good.
"I'm going for Elizabeth Anne. Doesn't that sound cute? Caleb wants to name her Stephanie Marie. Maybe we'll compromise but I love Elizabeth Anne." She sighed and rubbed her stomach.
"Why haven't you come around?" I asked. She looked up at me, a sad sort of smile on her face. She was hardly ever sad, never depressed, always smiling.
"I… wanted to go off on my own path. I didn't want to stay in England forever, you know. I wanted to see the world. I went to Africa last year. Before that, China, and before that America. It was so amazing Katie! I didn't call because I didn't want the guilt to pull me back. I was enjoying what I was doing. I met Caleb on my backpack through Germany. I joined a random tour group and we got partnered up together. And, well, now look. It's a baby, Katie. A baby girl. I'm going to be a mother!"
I hugged her again, holding close and tight. I loved my sister. I didn't want to lose her. I hardly saw her when I was little. By the time I was one, she was already at Hogwarts. And was out before I even started.
"Katie? You ready to go to the Leaky Cauldron?" Oliver was beside us, looking slightly awkward but hysterical in his kilt. I let go of Hannah and walked over to Oliver. He was still holding my shoes. I laughed and went to take them away. "Let me, Cinderalla," he said with a cocky, but sweet, smile. It almost made me want to cry.
I sat on a chair that was against the wall and put out my right foot. He slipped the shoe on and strapped it. It tickled. When I giggled he looked up and smiled. He was so adorable. I love this man. I lowered my right foot (carefully this time, I didn't want another incident like earlier) and put my left one out. He carefully put it on and did the buckle and lowered my foot. Then, he stood up and smiled. I stood up as well, now taller with these killer heals on, and kissed him.
He was surprised at first but then kissed me back and slid a hand around my waist. "Come on. We need to get to our reception. There's going to be cake!" No matter how much of a health freak he was, Oliver was a sucker for cake. If we didn't want practice, the twins would bake a cake and we'd have the day off. Cake is a Godsend.
By the time we got to the Reception (Oliver and I got to take a limo part of the way there for tradition, and then we stopped and took pictures in this beautiful meadow) everyone had a drink in their hand, some already looked partially drunk. Go figure. It's Oliver's wedding and mine. This should be expected.
The twin's were the first one's to greet us at the door. They both engulfed me in a lung crushing, back-breaking bear hug. George even spun me around. He randomly made a glass of wine appear out of nowhere and handed it to me. I cringed at the sight of more alcohol but took it anyway.
The Reception pretty much went like that. When it finally came time for cake, Oliver stuffed the whole piece in my mouth instead of carefully giving me a bite. Well, I lied. Not the whole piece. Half of it went up my nose and so I smelled frosting for the rest of the night. I had about four more glasses of wine, too. But then I stopped, figuring I'd want to remember some part of this day.
We did the funky chicken and the hokey pokey. Seeing Fred and George dance like that was hysterical. Hannah danced to a few slow songs with Caleb but not too much. She was really tired. I did the father daughter dance with my dad. He looked like he was about to cry, his last little baby was growing up. Although she could always use the money. I told him that, too. It made him laugh.
Our honeymoon started tomorrow, we had to catch our plane like normal muggles at nine, so we were staying at the Leaky Cauldron tonight. But that by no means, means that we can't enjoy our first night. He decided to be a dork and carry me into the room. And plop me on the bed. Go figure.
"Hey!" I complained as he ran off to the bathroom. Apparently he really had to pee. "Thanks for just abandoning me here. On the bed. In my wedding dress. Boy am I tired." I grinned to myself. It's just fun to torture him.
"Katie Wood-," I laughed, "don't you dare fall asleep. You'll… get wrinkles in your dress. You'll at least want to change!" Ha, change my ass. He's just trying to seem considerate.
After what seemed like forever, I mean I had enough time to take off my shoes and I was exhausted, (It was really long day) Oliver came out from the bathroom in a maroon bathrobe. I jumped up to take my turn. He's not the only one who had to pee.
When I got in there, I saw that my pajama bag was already on the floor. What luck. I would have been too lazy to go get it myself. I looked in the mirror. My make-up was kind of smudged. My lipstick was completely off and my hair was kind of messy. Nowhere near as perfect as it was this morning. I started taking bobby pin after bobby pin out. By the time I was done there had to be at least seventy five. I pulled out the rubber band that was in there and set it next to them. Sadly, with all of the hair spray in there, my hair looked almost exactly the same.
I reached to the back of my dress to unzip it and change. But what I found funny was that the zipper was stuck. I tried for at least five minutes to unstuck it but it wouldn't move. Poor Oliver.
"Katie! What are you doing in there? It doesn't take that long to take off a dress, you know!" He's so impatient. But this is just funny. I mean, here he is waiting for me and I can't get the bloody dress off. This is totally his fault.
"Oliver Wood, I told you that you shouldn't have seen me in my wedding dress before the actual wedding!" There. That stumped him.
A/n: Alright, here's my latest one-shot. A special thanks goes out to SpontaneousInsanity who made me write like crazy for three days straight, giving me ideas when I was stumped, and then proofread it for me. And for picking out the title because I was completely stumped. Check out her stuff while you're at it. So yeah, Katie and Oliver's wedding. Did you like it? Review because you love me! And because I love reviews:D Oh, sorry that it was so long. I went into immense amounts of detail. I really hope you liked it though!
-Siriusly Klutzy
