I do not own the Marvel universe, sadly.

"Holy shit, POOLS HERE!" Tony shouted, walking into the community lounge in the tower, as he saw Wade, standing casually behind the couch, chatting with Bruce.

As one Natasha, Clint, Pepper and Bruce all say language from where they sat on the lounge as Steve just shook his head, walking over to the couch and sitting down next to Natasha.

"Hey Pep if I hurt him would you be upset?"

"Just remember I still need him intact."

"What, you really need him?"

"Unfortunately."

Wade slapped Tony on the back, "It's nice to know you still get it up Stark, and that Pepper's willing to stick up for it."

Pepper rolled her eyes as Clint and Nat smirked. "I meant that he's the head of the company I run, I need him for paper work."

"Man it sucks to be you Stark, not even your future baby momma wants what you offer." Wade laughed, hitting Stark on the back again.

Steve turned to Nat. "I'm impressed that he's already insulted Tony and he hasn't been in the room for a minute."

"Mother nature insulted Tony first," Natasha pointed out as Wade leapt over the back of the couch and sat right between the two of them.

"So I have to ask why don't you swear around the Cap?" Clint asked.

Wade shrugged. "I like Cap."

"You like Vanessa too and you swear around her."

"It could have something to do with the fact that I'm one of the almost immortal people around and he's already annoyed Wolverine."

"Actually talking about Wolfy, if he asks I'm in Canada."

Pepper looked worried then. "Why Canada?"

"Cause he gets pissed when I go there."

"Language," once again Natasha, Clint, Pepper and Bruce all say.

Wade looks at Steve. "We like them don't we?"

Steve sighed. "Unfortunately yes, but your always welcome to spar them."

Wade looks at Natasha and smirked. "I'll pass, the only woman I like under me is Vanessa."

Natasha arched an eyebrow. "What makes you think it won't be me on top?"

"Kinky, I like it."

Steve sighed and shook his head at the two of them, as the rest of the avengers just looked surprised Natasha hadn't killed him yet.

Steve looked over at them. "This is nothing, you should see them team up on Scott, I swear he's tempted to take off his glasses sometimes just to shut up Wade, though Logan in the room just makes it all worse, Wade and him seem to bond over tormenting Scott."

"Look he's just so easy to torment, it's hilarious."

Natasha nodded in agreement, while Steve shook his head.

Wade stood up, "I'm bored, see you dicks, some ones future baby mommas and Cap later."

Without any warning Wade leapt out of the window.

"Spiderman catch me!"

SPLAT!

"SHIT PARKER! WHAT THE FUCK?!"