Author's note: This little piece of goodness was written for GoddessOfBirth for her birthday last year. Forgot to post it up here! eek! Enjoy!
Thruff
He flat out objected to it at first. He yelled and screamed throughout the whole ship every time she offered, warning her to stay the "gorram hell away." He used all the crazy names he could think of, until he saw the book sitting on the table.
His eyes lit up at the picture of the naked woman with her titties out and he slumped into a chair. Jayne looked over both shoulders and all around the room to make sure no one was present and then picked up the book. His excitement was short lived.
"Aw fuck! This ain't no gorram use! Where's the ruttin' pictures?"
"Tsk! The pictures are in the mind! The words put them there."
Jayne turned round, scraping the chair legs across the floor with a horrible squeal. His hand went to his side arm and the gun whipped out in a matter of seconds, pressing against a pale forehead. Those damned creepy eyes of hers didn't blink, the witch didn't flinch one bit.
"What's the point in havin' porn when there ain't no pictures?" Jayne growled, waving the book in front of River's eyes and putting his gun away. "This book don't have pictures except on the cover! Damned misleadin' if ya ask me!"
"The imagination is better." River snatched the book and pulled up a chair to sit next to him. "The words will show more than pictures ever will."
Jayne didn't think she was right about that, and snarled as she opened the book to a page of long and complicated looking words. A single pale bony finger rested beneath a line and she looked up at him with a hopeful gaze.
"What?" he asked after that hopefulness grew into frustration.
"Read! Speak! The subject matter is of interest and will help. I have deduced that the percentage of success will be higher for Jayne if he learns to read erotica!"
"Eroti-what?"
"Sex!"
"Hell Crazy! I told ya! I can read just fine! Besides, readin' sex ain't the same as lookin' at it or doin' it! Yer crazy assed plan won't work!"
There was the look. A crafty, manipulatin' and unsettlin' look that put Jayne on edge. He sat stiffly in the chair as his hand reached for his knife. Little minx was up to something.
"If Jayne promises to read sex for River…she might allow him to partake in some of the activities described."
This was interesting.
"So? What are ya pre-posin'?"
"If you read, we can do!"
Still, with one eye scrunched in suspicion, Jayne slowly peered down at the mass of words and focused on the first word directly above River's finger. He then began to slowly sound out the words, like a child reading for the first time.
"It was…hot. Sweet….sweat so-aked her shirt re-ve-lin' frim…firm…row-and bread…breasts!" A smirk drifted across his face. "E-rect brow…nip-pulls..brown nipples poked thruff…"
Jayne hissed when River's finger jabbed at that same word again and again.
"Sound it out!"
"I gorram have! It says thruff! Which don't make no sense…how can a woman's tits poke thruff? What the gorram hell is thruff?"
"Through! It is pronounced through! Author spells it differently."
"Now that's just gorram crazy spellin' it a different way! It don't even sound right!"
It took a while, but Jayne was determined and he learnt pretty quickly. If his little Crazy was willing to show him what went on in this book…it would be worth it.
"How much do ya want me t'read?" he asked with excitement, after reading a few particular raunchy paragraphs.
There.
He saw it; the light blush on her pale face, the bite of her lip and her shy but eager smile.
"You can skip the mediocre chapters and read pages 46 to 50." she mumbled, letting her fringe drop over her face.
Jayne read as quickly as he could over those pages. His eyes lit up and his mouth began to salivate.
"Oh hell yeah!"
