She sat and stared out of her window. The memories came flooding back. Sigh.

She remembered the time when he entered through her window to comfort her and gave her hugs. He doesn't comfort people often, much less give hugs. But she was different. She gave light to his morose world, she just didn't notice that. She hadn't noticed that she loved him, a different kind of love. And after that incident, many more hugs, and soon kisses, came. I would give anything just to bring those back, she thought.

Then she remembered their very first kiss. And his teasing words that were secretly endearments. She used to hate him, really. She hated how he burned her pigtails, utter rude words, act high and above them. But she came to understand him and his way of words. He was so closed and secretive, never wanting anyone to go near him. Turns out, he just wanted to protect them, her and their friends. And protect them he did, from Persona, ESP, and himself.

By this time, tears were rolling freely down her cheeks.

She remembered how she would persuade him to accompany her to Central Town. How she would always interrupt him when reading his mangas just to fulfill her cravings of Fluff Puffs. He would be irritated but would come, reluctantly, anyway. Oh how she loved his expression when she shoved a piece of Howalon in his mouth. A mixture of shock and annoyed, then turned to wonder and interest.

She bitterly laughed; she really, really missed those innocent days.

Then came the Alice war. It ruined everything, the school, people, their innocence. People, kids, died. Lots of hearts and minds damaged, forever living in trauma. They were just teenagers then, 16, but they were forced to fight and protect the school and alices.

She wasn't supposed to be here today. She wasn't supposed to living in an apartment in a close proximity to where she worked as a teacher and to where most of her friends lived, including Hotaru.

She was supposed to dead. Or missing until now.

Instead of her, Natsume took her place. He saved her from being abducted, and possibly tortured and killed, by the AAO. He was the one they took instead.

Now 22, for 6 years she waited. She waited for him to come back, to hug her and assure her that he was well and alive. She never once stopped hoping. All of those years, nothing came. There was no closure, not a single sign that he still existed.

Maybe tonight, she'll dream of him. Them under the Sakura tree, her pestering him, him amused and annoyed. She dried her tears, got ready for bed and prepared herself for another day wishing for him to show up.

The war may be done, but she's still fighting the nightmares away.


A/N: this is sort of AU and canon-ish combined. Sorry if there are grammar mistakes, made this in a hurry.

So if you didn't get it, here's the thing:

Natsume saved Mikan from being whisked away by the AAO and he was the one they took instead. Six years passed, no body of his was found so they're not sure if he's still alive. Hotaru and the others think he is dead, but Mikan doesn't want to let go.

Should I make this multi-chaptered or should it remain a one-shot? Review!