Disclaimer: Okay, I clearly own nothing here, none of the characters (except Lily, Jake, Kyle and the old lady), none of the lyrics, nothing. But if any of it is up for sale... (checking wallet) actually, no, I can't buy it, I'm broke.
Author's notes: This is my first NCIS fic, and I've only recently started watching the show, so I highly doubt that this will stay true to the character's real characters... Also, I'm from Aus, so don't blame me about any of the towns I picked. I literally opened up the atlas, and randomly pulled names... Oh yeah, and if you've ever read any Stingers fic (Aus) this might look familiar...
NOW AND THEN, THE TIMES ARE CHANGING
NOW
Kate glanced around nervously as she entered the small country supermarket. She checked all of the visible aisles, before deciding it was safe to enter.
She clutched the hand of the little girl next to her tightly.
The small girl smiled. "Can we get some chips for tea?" she asked, skipping along next to Kate.
Kate nodded, and smiled back. "If your quiet, and you stay next to me the whole time. Remember, don't -"
"Don't let go of your hand," sighed the girl, falling back into place next to Kate. "I won't, promise."
They walked quickly around the supermarket, picking up odds and ends, all the time Kate keeping a close watch on the door. If anyone entered, she stayed well hidden until she was sure of who it was. Or more, sure of who it wasn't.
They piled up all of their items on the counter, and waited for the cashier to scan them through. He was taking a long time, far too long for Kate's liking. She didn't like being in the one place for so long. Not anymore, anyway.
"Can I have some chewy?"
Kate's thoughts were broken by the small voice beside her.
Kate shook her head. "No Lil. We're already having chips for dinner. And anyway, you don't like chewy."
Lily frowned. "Yeah I like it. Please mom?"
Kate shook her head again, ignoring her daughter's pleas. They had already spent far too long in the supermarket; they didn't want to be found…
"This bag's heavy," complained Lily as she struggled to lift it into the car.
Kate took the bag of her, and placed it in the boot. "You shouldn't have taken it then, should you?" she asked. She glanced around nervously, and unlocked the car doors.
"Get in quick, and put your seatbelt on," she ordered, as she shut the boot.
Lily did as she was told, and firmly locked the door as soon as she got in. She grinned at Kate, who laughed, in spite of her fear. "Good girl," she said, as she climbed in the other side, locking her own door also.
"Where are we going to tonight?" asked Lily, watching her mother intently.
Kate shrugged. "I don't know Lil. Wherever we can find a room"
Lily nodded, content with Kate's vague answer. She was a good kid, thought Kate, as they drove quickly to edge of town. In the past few months, she had never once questioned what they were doing, or where they were going. At first Kate had made out like it was all a game, but Lily had soon realised that what they were doing was not a game. It was serious.
Kate smiled down at her daughter, who was already nearly asleep. Even though she was only five, Kate knew she was going to be gorgeous. She had the same brown hair and eyes as Kate, and the same curious intelligence, although she had her father's sense on adventure. Kate shivered as she thought about Lily's father. Her husband. The reason they were running away.
Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love
THEN – FIVE MONTHS EARLIER
Kate closed her eyes, as she felt the closed fist hit her on the lip yet again. She resisted the urge to cry out, knowing that any noise from her would only provoke him further.
Jake turned, to see Lily standing in the corner of the kitchen, her pyjamas crushed from sleep.
"What are you doing up?" he asked, moving away from Kate quickly.
"I was thirsty," she said quietly. "I wanted some water."
Jake took a plastic cup from next to the sink, and filled it up with water from the tap. He handed it to Lily, and kissed her gently on the top of her head. "Go back to sleep now."
Lily nodded, not moving away. "Why is mommy crying?" she asked.
Kate plastered a fake smiled on her face, through her tears.
"It's ok, I just cut myself with a knife." She brushed away some tears. "Go back to bed. I'll come to tuck you in soon."
Lily nodded, and slowly walked back towards her room. She knew something was wrong, but she also knew there was nothing she could do.
Jake turned back to Kate, and glared at her. "What were you crying for? Now Lily thinks I was hurting you."
"I couldn't -" protested Kate, but Jake wasn't listening.
He pushed her up against the wall, and held her neck tightly. "Do you know what I got given at work today?"
Kate shook her head. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. She didn't know exactly what Jake did, but in the past few months, she had come to realise it probably wasn't honest.
"Some files…"
Kate shrugged. "What files?" she asked quietly, not liking where the conversation was heading.
"Oh just some files about some agents a mate of mine ran into once."
Kate nodded. "Why are you telling me?" she asked.
"Because you starred in one of them. You were a government agent, weren't you Kate?" he said threateningly.
Kate froze as soon as she heard her old name. She hadn't used it for years. As soon as she had left NCIS, she had changed her name to Emily Clarke, the name she had used when she had first met Jake.
"Wha- what are you saying?" she said nervously.
Jake shook his head. "Don't be a smart arse with me Emily. Or should I say, Kate. I know you were one of the 'special agents' who dobbed Kyle in. You remember Kyle?"
Kate nodded. Kyle was one of Jake's mates, who had been in prison for nearly ten years after being convicted of the murder of a Petty Officer. She hadn't actually met him, but Jake had talked about him on numerous occasions.
"Kyle was released yesterday. First thing this morning, he hands me this file that he found on the streets, telling me to find some special agent named Kate Todd, and to get rid of her. I looked at the picture, and who do I see smiling back at me, in full pig uniform, but my wife?" Jake smiled at Kate, who backed away quickly. "Imagine my surprise, to find out you are not who you say you are…"
Kate nodded. There was no way she was getting out of this one. It was something that her Secret Service training hadn't exactly covered. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"What was that?" asked Jake.
"I'm sorry," repeated Kate, slightly louder.
Jake nodded. "Say it again, like you mean it…"
Before Kate could respond, Jake hit her again, and again.
"I'm sorry!" she finally screamed, before pushing Jake out of the way. She ran towards their bedroom, not knowing what she was going to do next.
Jake fell back, surprised. Emily had never fought back before. He looked at the clock on the wall, and decided he still had time to visit Kyle. That way they could work out what they were going to do with Emily together. He knew his allegiances lay with Kyle, rather than his wife.
He picked up his keys, and jangled them slightly as he walked out the door, paused as he saw a photo of Emily and Lily together. They were so alike, so perfect. He shook the thought from his head, as he left for the pub where he was meeting Kyle.
Kate jumped as she heard the front door slam. She knew that Jake had gone out, most likely for a few hours, more if he was with his mates. She looked around cautiously, realising what she had to do. She knew this was her only chance to escape. She crawled off her bed, and began stuffing clothes and documents into bags, before she crept out to wake Lily…
I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
NOW
Kate shook herself, as she tried to rid herself of her memories. She had left that night, after packing everything into her small car. She didn't know what Jake's reaction had been when he arrived home to find her gone, but she imagined he wouldn't have been happy.
She sighed, and looked at a signpost as she sped past it. 'Washington DC 50' it read. Kate bit her lip, as she continued along the road. She hadn't been to Washington in nearly six years, since she had met Jake.
They had met in a bar one night, after Kate had had a particularly rough day. She had been on protection detail on Ducky, when he had been kidnapped, from right under her nose. When Ducky was still missing the following evening, Kate couldn't take it anymore, the glares from Gibbs, the eyebrow raises from Tony, or the thoughts in the back of her mind that Ducky was dead, because of her…
Holy mother earth
Crying into space
Tears on her pretty face
THEN - SIX YEARS AGO
"I'm Jake," introduced the sexy guy that Kate had been eyeing all night.
Kate smiled. "I'm Emily," she replied, not thinking. Emily Clarke had been the cover that she was rehearsing, so that she could go undercover with Tony to buy some weapons from a corrupt Gunnery Sergent. 'Guess that's not gonna be happening,' she thought. Kate suddenly realised how she had introduced herself.
'Shit,' she thought to herself. If this goes anywhere, then I'm going to have some serious explaining to do.
Jake patted he chair beside him. "Can I offer you a drink?" he asked.
Kate nodded. "Love one," she replied, slumping down into the bar chair.
"What's up?" asked Jake, concerned.
Kate shook her head, as she sipped her beer.
"Nothing, just problems at work."
Jake nodded, and touched her lightly on the back.
"Anything I can help you with?"
Kate smiled, before she found tears creeping down her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she whispered, before breaking down completely.
Jake stood up, and hugged Kate loosely, allowing her to cry.
She looked up. "Sorry about that," she said sheepishly.
Jake brushed her comment away with his hand.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, settling in for a long night. He waited while Kate composed herself, and glanced at the bartender, who grinned back at him. Jake looked away, embarrassed. As soon as he had noticed Kate walk into the bar, he had pointed her out to the bartender. "I'm going to marry her," he had said.
He turned back to Kate as she began to explain what had happened. Not telling him all the details of course, but the general idea. All without mentioning the fact that she was an NCIS agent. She'd found the fastest way to turn a guy off was to tell him she was in the force.
Several hours later, Jake took her hand. "Let's get away from it all then."
Kate looked at him, shocked. "Wha-?" she began, unable to continue. Here was this guy, who she had only met a few hours earlier, asking her to leave with him.
Jake grinned. "We can leave, tonight. Get away from all your troubles."
Kate shook her head. "I, I can't just…" she trailed off, thinking. Maybe she could leave?"
"Sure you can Em, it'd be awesome, just you and me," said Jake, clutching her hand tighter.
Kate bit her lip, and started to catch Jake's excitement. "I guess," She said slowly.
Jake jumped up, and hugged her tightly. 'Yes, I knew it!" he said excitedly.
Kate looked at him, eyebrows raised. "You knew what?" she asked, curious.
Jake looked into the bottom of his beer glass. "Oh nothing…"
"Nothing?" asked Kate. "If I'm going to leave with you, you better tell me.
Jake nodded, and ignored the knowing looks from the bartender. "As soon as I saw you walk in here tonight, I decided I was going to marry you," he said.
Kate laughed, not realising Jake was serious.
She stopped suddenly, realising Jake wasn't laughing. "You're serious," she whispered.
Jake nodded. "What do you say?"
Kate leant back in her chair slightly. She knew that she shouldn't say yes, that she should go back tomorrow, and continue as if nothing had happened. But she couldn't, she knew she couldn't go back. It wouldn't be the same.
She grinned. "Yes," she whispered. "Let's do it."
Jake grabbed her hands again, and kissed her deeply. "I love you Emily," he whispered.
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
NOW
Kate cringed, remembering that night. She had packed up all of her belongings, and left a note for Gibbs, or whoever else happened to find it. They had left for Florida the next morning, after Kate had quickly resigned from NCIS, and changed her name. It had been quick; she had just said that her life was in danger and that she needed to move fast. No one had questioned her.
They arrived in Miami, and had had a small but beautiful wedding on the beach. Even now Kate couldn't believe she had done it, Tony had always been the compulsive one, not like two steps forward, one step back, well behaved Kate.
She had begun to miss her friends after a few months, and Jake had suggested a trip around America. They originally wanted to go overseas, but Kate knew that she couldn't apply for a passport in her new name, that Gibbs and the others would have someone spying in that department. So instead she had agreed on a trip around the States, so long as they avoided Washington. She couldn't risk running into her old friends.
They travelled for several months, visiting many of the states, when they had arrived in Colorado and Kate realised that she was pregnant. Jake had been excited as Kate, and had insisted that they rented in Denver, at least until the baby was born. Kate didn't argue.
For the next four years they lived in Denver; Jake working as a builder, and Kate as a part time teacher. She had qualifications for it since before joining the Secret Service, and working part time meant she was able to spend time with Lily.
It was soon after Lily's fourth birthday that the troubles began. Jake lost his job, and began drinking. He began to be abusive, so Kate decided that it was time for a change. They packed up and moved to Los Angeles. Here Jake appeared to be very well connected, and got work almost immediately, although Kate didn't know exactly what he did. He still drank, and started beating Kate, once or twice a month at first, building up to nearly every day just before she left.
When they had first moved to Los Angeles, Kate began to wonder where her old friends were. She wanted to see them, she wanted them to meet Lily, but Jake didn't want her to contact them. They fought about it nearly every night…
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind
THEN – EIGHT MONTHS AGO
"Why can't I just ring them?" screamed Kate, glaring at Jake.
"Because I don't want you to," yelled back Jake, holding onto the cordless phone, holding it threateningly at Kate.
"Why?" she asked, tears coming to her eyes. She hated the fact that she cried so easily. It had never happened before, or else she would have heard about it from Tony, and now it just made her look weak.
"Why do you need to call them?" he asked, taking a step forward. "You don't need them. You've got me. Lily. Our life."
"I need more than two people in my life," screamed Kate, wiping away tears. "I need friends too."
Jake rolled his eyes. "You're pathetic Emily," he said, throwing down the phone, onto the nearby table. "I've got a pathetic woman for a wife, haven't I?"
Kate looked away, knowing what was coming.
"Say it!" stormed Jake, moving closer.
"I'm pathetic, you're right," said Kate dully.
Jake smiled. "That's right Em, you're pathetic. You know, you're lucky you've got me, no other man would want someone like you."
Kate nodded, trying to stop the tears.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, but not fast enough. Jake's fist had already made contact with her lip.
Kate gasped. Jake had never hit her before. Yelled, and emotionally abused yes, but never physically.
She looked at him, shocked. He too, didn't move.
"Em, I'm so sorry, I promise I'll never do it again."
Kate didn't answer, instead she picked up her car keys.
"I'm going to get Lily."
Jake nodded silently, and watched as she left coldly.
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore
NOW
Kate touched her lip unconsciously, feeling the scars. She thought back, and realised that she should have known then, what was going to happen. From then the fights just got worse.
"Bastard," she said, pushing hair back from her face.
Lily turned to face her. "Who's a bastard?" she asked sleepily.
Kate smiled. "I thought you were asleep."
Lily shrugged, although Kate couldn't see it in the darkness.
"Where are we?" she asked, realising that she wasn't going to get an answer about her previous question.
Kate checked the clock, and then looked at the bright lights in the distance. "Lilydale," she guessed, thinking it was close enough.
Lily giggled. "Like my name."
Kate laughed. She hadn't realised. "Yeah, you're so special you get a whole suburb named after you."
Lily brushed some hair out of her eyes, exactly as Kate had done moments earlier. "Where are we going tonight?"
Kate looked at her daughter, and then straight ahead at the road again.
"We're going to visit one of my friends."
"One of Daddy's friends?" asked Lily.
Kate glanced at her sharply. Lily hadn't mentioned her father in months, she seemed to have realised that Kate got upset whenever he was talked about.
Kate shook her head. "No, Daddy doesn't know these people. I used to work with them, before I met your Dad."
Lily nodded seriously. "Will they remember you?" she asked innocently.
Kate smiled tightly. "I hope so." She said brightly, but inside, she wasn't so sure. It had been a long time, nearly six years. And what if they didn't want to know her?
They continued to drive towards the city, Kate keeping an eye on the clock the whole time. It was nearly 11PM, and she wanted to be able to book into a motel if she couldn't find the right address.
Kate turned into a street, and drove slowly down it, looking for street numbers. The street looked vaguely familiar, she knew she was in the right place, she could only hope that he hadn't sold up.
Kate pulled to a stop, and turned the ignition off, slowly letting her head fall onto her hands, which were resting on the steering wheel. She could feel all of her nerve leaving; she didn't want to go through with this.
She jumped slightly, as Lily stirred next to her.
"Mommy?" she asked uncertainly, worried by her mother's silence.
Kate looked up,
"You awake Lil?" she said.
Lily nodded. "Is this your friend's house?"
"I hope so," said Kate, undoing her seatbelt. She smiled at Lily, who began to do the same thing.
They climbed out of the car, and walked through the old gate together. As they got closer to the house, Lily grabbed Kate's hand, holding it tightly.
"Mom?" she asked quietly.
"Yeah Lil?"
"Your friends won't hit you like daddy did, will they? She asked.
Kate closed her eyes, and bit her lip to keep from crying. "No," she whispered back, taking Lily's hand tighter.
They reached the front door, and Kate knocked quietly. She knew, if Lily hadn't been with her, she would have run away. But she couldn't now. They had been running for too long. It was time to end it.
Moments later, there was still no answer at the door. Kate knocked again, realising that he must have moved house. Probably left Washington altogether, she thought.
"I don't think he lives here anymore," she said to Lily, and began to walk back down the path.
But Lily held her hand still, stopping her from moving "No, I think someone's coming," she said quietly.
Kate instinctively moved in front of Lily, to protect her if anything bad were to happen. She had a feeling nothing would, but Kate had learnt that she could never be too careful. She had had several close encounters with Jake's contacts in the past few months, but had always luckily managed to escape.
The door swung open, and Kate smiled nervously as a sleepy looking man stuck his head out.
"Jesus, do you know what time it-" he began, before realising who was standing on his doorstep.
"Kate," he whispered.
Kate looked down at her feet, avoiding his eyes.
"Hey Tony."
I see your shadow on the street now
I hear you push through the rusty gate
Click of your heels on the concrete
Waiting for a knock coming way too late
