I was always there to catch him when he fell.

"Vik, please open up! What are you doing?!" I shouted.

"What do you care?" he snapped.

"Vik-" I started.

"No, shut up! You know, I actually thought that moving in with everyone would be fun. I didn't think that it would just result in everyone hating me," he sighed, letting out a small sniffle.

"I don't hate you," I promised.

"Ha, that's funny," he bitterly replied. Someone poked my shoulder. I turned around and saw Mitch holding out a key to me.

"This is the key to that bathroom. Go talk to Vik," he whispered, putting the key in my hand. I nodded.

"Vik, do you think I'm joking?" I asked as I turned the key as quietly as possible.

"What could make me think that you don't?" he retorted. I heard shuffling from inside. Did he hear me trying to open the door?

"Give me time, Vik," I answered, pushing the door open. There he sat, on the sink counter with a handful of pills in one hand and the bottle next to him.

"Get out!" he screamed, putting the pills down and trying to push my out.

"Vik-" I breathed. It felt like my throat tightened and it was getting harder to breath.

"Just get out!" he repeated, leaning all his weight on me.

"No, Vik, please-" I whispered with a shaky breath. Suddenly, Vik collapsed on the floor and started sobbing. I took a deep breath and sat on the floor with him.

"If you care about me, then you'd let me swallow those pills," he mumbled. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. I turned his face towards mine, but he kept his eyes focused on the floor.

"Vik," I said. I knew it was horribly risky to do what I was planning to do. He hesitantly looked me in the eye. "I can't. I wouldn't be able to live without you." Then I kissed him. And he just sat there. That's why I pulled back and just started cleaning up the pills.

"Lachlan-" he started.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," I lied, turning around and giving him a fake smile. I went back to collecting the pills and putting them back into the bottle.

"Are you sure?" he continued. He put a hand on my shoulder. I gently shook it off. I continued to take all the medication from the bathroom with the intention to temporarily lock them away.

"I'm sure," I confirmed, walking out of the bathroom. Mitch would know where to hide these. At least I got Vik's mind off of taking those pills.

"Give me time, okay?" he said. I froze. Was he serious?

"Okay. And the guys don't hate you," I replied, looking for Mitch again.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I showed him that there were reasons to live if he looked in the right places.

"I'm sorry, Lachlan. I gave in again," Vik told me, a few tears escaping his watery eyes. I could feel my eyes starting to sting.

"It's okay, Vik," I choked out, my voice getting caught in my throat. I was pretty sure that I ended up getting more hurt than he did, no matter what happened.

"I just… feel so alone. No one is ever home. I have no one to talk to," he admitted. He was looking down in shame and I was trying to stop the tears from escaping my eyes.

"I'm always here," I mumbled. I was getting used to being forgotten by him. Nevertheless, I still somehow managed to smile.

"I was scared…" he sighed.

"Of what?" I replied.

"Of you. I convinced myself that you didn't want to talk to me. I mean, why would you?" he whispered.

"I'm stupid, that's why. A normal person wouldn't talk to someone who can break his heart in a few simple words, but I meant what I said when I told you that I couldn't live without you," I said, smiling a tiny bit.

"How can you live knowing that… I don't feel the same way you feel about me?" he asked. That hurt.

"Well, you're still here. You don't think I'm a weirdo or a freak. I haven't lost you yet," I said. He looked me in the eyes. It was silent for a few moments.

"I never really thought about this before, but… your eyes are beautiful," he breathed. My heart stopped. It wasn't fair. He couldn't toy with me like that. That was rude.

"What are you doing?" I questioned.

"Kissing you," he responded. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me towards him. He was actually kissing me and I was loving every second of him. He eventually pulled away and bit his lip.

"Promise me you'll try to stop?"

"I promise. Just for you."

I was always there for him.

"Vik, you in there?" I asked, knocking on his bedroom door. He opened the door with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

"My parents told me that I was a failure. They said that YouTube isn't a real job. All my efforts are for nothing," he whispered. I picked him up and sat him down on the bed.

"What makes them say that?" I said. He curled up in a ball and laid his head on my lap.

"They don't like what I've been posting. They said it was immature and unprofessional," he mumbled. I started playing with his hair.

"That's the point, though, isn't it? To be funny and relatable. We do YouTube because we know we mean something to someone we've never even met," I pointed out. He gave a small shrug.

"But we really don't mean anything to them. We're just entertainers. We can be replaced," he sighed.

"That's why we have to make sure that we don't get replaced. We have to be good enough. Sure, we can't be perfect and we can't make everyone love us, but we can't take those we already have for granted," I told him.

"I really don't deserve you," he murmured.

"You get what you believe you deserve," I replied, a playful smile on my lips.

"Oi, stop being so philosophical," he jokingly scolded, hitting my arm. We both laughed.

"I can't make any promises," I joked.

"Can you promise that you'll never leave?"

"I promise."

But I was never okay.

I stared at my computer screen. People kept saying that my videos were getting shittier by the minute. They told me to give up. They said that I wasn't the same anymore. And I wasn't.

Vik had been in England for the whole month. It was so lonely. All the other members of the Pack were spending time with their significant others when they weren't doing YouTube stuff. Preston and Rob were always locked in a room together. Mitch and Jerome were always out of the house. All I had were Skype calls with Vik.

Videos were hard to make when I couldn't manage a smile. It was all so forced. The only thing that could make me smile was Vik, and the time zones hadn't been nice to us. It even got to the point where it felt like he was purposely avoiding me.

And I was almost sure that that was the case.

I found out that there was someone else.

I was walking down the hallway and I paused in front of Vik's door. I wanted to talk to him, just because today wasn't a good day. Was that a good idea? Was he busy? I knew it was rude and nosey, but I listened to see what he was doing. If he was busy I could wait.

"Thanks, babe," he said. My heart stopped. It felt like I was literally crushed. Someone stomped on my stomach, the air forced out of me. There was muffled talking from what I assumed was the phone.

"I promise. I'll see you in two weeks, okay?" he continued. In two weeks he was supposed to go back to England for the week. Now I knew why. "I love you," he finalized.

There was nothing worse than finding out that he was purposely avoiding me. He seemed so distant. It felt like his words were ghosts, coming and going without a purpose. And it was all because they were meant for someone else.

I fell.

"Does anything seem off about Lachlan?" Preston asked Vik. I was sitting across the room from them. They didn't know that I could hear them. I just started at my phone.

"No, what are you talking about?" Vik replied.

"You haven't noticed anything? I don't think I've seen him smile for… a long time," Preston whispered.

"I don't think you know what you're talking about," Vik mumbled, confused.

"Look who's talking. I swear you're in England every other week," Preston snapped.

"What do you even know about Lachlan?" Vik retorted.

I looked at the thin, red lines poking out from underneath my sleeves. They didn't know anything.

And no one was there to catch me.

I grabbed the noose and hung it in my closet. Everyone was home, but I knew that no one would come into the room. They were all busy. They didn't think anything was wrong.

There were two notes I had written. One for Vik, and one for everyone else. It was cliche, to have one letter to the person I loved and another to the other people I cared for, but I didn't want them to think that my death was their fault. Vik needed an explanation, even if he stopped caring.

With a sad smile on my lips, I stood on the chair and pulled my head through the loop. I hesitated before kicking the chair away. I expected someone to come barging into the room and yell for me to stop. I expected Vik to tell me that he loved me, and the other person was just a distraction. I was disappointed when none of that happened. Vik still secretly had someone else and I was still going to go through with this.

Simon, please take care of Vik for me.

I was replaced, because I wasn't enough.

I told Vik that I couldn't live without him, and I meant it with every ounce of my being.

I always caught Vik.

But he was already gone when I fell.

I broke Vik's promise.

I left.

And no one was there to follow.