Star Followed Star


If someone asked you what the brightest star in the sky was, some would say the sun, some would mention Sirius or Betelgeuse; still others would claim they all were equal in brightness but only their light varied in our perceptions. I used to think similar to these notions. Until I met him. A wonderful man, yet not a man, who travelled among those stars. He burns in a never-wavering—brightest—light in every moment of time. He will be a constant throughout the ages, and there shall never be a time he is absent from the universe, even after his physical body no longer can support him. There will always be one of him, maybe with a different face, some when…always travelling. Flying among the galaxies in a storm of laughter, hope, and rage.

I went with him, once. I will always remember the moment I saw his wonderful ship, 'bigger on the inside' as everyone, who saw her interior, puzzled. Awe and wonder and—I have never felt such—love. She is simply amazing; silently watching us and bringing us where we needed to be. Most never noticed it, but she burned just as bright.

When we look up in the stars, they seem to shine brightly forever. There are so many quotes, poems, and songs about them and their constant presence. While our limited sight leads us to believe it is so, this is not the case. Nothing truly lasts forever. Everything dies. This is a brutal truth that exists throughout the ages in unwavering certainty. I unequivocally learnt this fact when we accidentally fell onto a world that quivered under a gasping sun; both dying a slow death. Both still clinging on in desperation, but even I could tell that they had scarce years left. His eyes were fathomlessly dark for the rest of the day and I hid in my room that night. It was sometimes like this after one of our diversions…but I never regretted going once.

One day, he too will burn out like a tired star. His lonely light will finally flicker and he will end. I shudder to think of such a day he will be gone. My heart hurts to even think of our universe without him. But as long as he lives within our hearts and his always younger self swans around he will endlessly be there. Here.

The hardest, yet easiest, moment of my life was stepping off that ship and knowing that I would never be with them again. They left behind echoes of laughter and blinking lights in my mind. I had such a brilliant time. But I realised that my short span with them was over. That this was the last adventure I would take part of. I knew—and I believe she did as well—before he realised. His eyes were haunted for a flickered moment but his sad smile told me he agreed. I needed to have the adventure he would never allow himself. Last hugs and parting words trailed behind my steps and tears dripped from my eyes when I heard her leave. I wish I had more time with them...but I knew that if I hadn't got off then, I would still be gallivanting around with my two best friends in the universe.

I miss him. I miss her.

I miss them. Us.

Their memory will radiate in my mind until my heart ceases its rhythm and the last breath leaves my lungs. I hope to see them again. A beloved friend might be gone physically but—I believe—will be seen again.

I have only seen the haunted look a few times. It scrapes on the inside of your heart and freezes your mind even when you just catch a glimpse. This is when you truly see him. Behind the smiles, the running, and the science. You see the deaths, births, remembrance, tears, laughter…pain. I know that when I left, I added another facet; but he knows. He can't keep me or the countless others. I hid in my room for a day when I realised…how much he has lost and will continue to lose throughout the ages. But there is always a horizon. And he runs toward that distant line. Never stopping.

…I hope he reaches it.

That mad man falling through time in his lovely blue box.

Somewhere.

…Some when.


AN: Stream of Consciousness, me. There is not a set companion for this...you can read it as a certain companion, yourself, or some random future companion we have not yet seen. Same with the Doctor; he can run around with a scarf, frock coats, celery stalk, safari jacket, trenchcoat, velvet jacket, bowties, patchwork colours, leather, or some future version you have in mind. Title comes from a line in Emily Brontë's poem 'Stars'.

Also, I feel I should mention that I do not own Doctor Who. Although, you should be able to figure that out quite easily, I hope...