Author's Note: This story is best understood if you have played the Kingdom Hearts game 358/2 Days. I have tried to stay as much in continuity with it as possible. However, I have not finished playing Birth By Sleep and have not even purchased Dream Drop Distance, so this story is most likely not in continuity with them. I would appreciate no spoilers for those games. Also, I am not featuring Xion as a main character because I feel that she doesn't fit into this story – this is about Axel and Roxas – so, she's there, in the background, just not mentioned in context. Please accept this story as it is.

Axel

My life was a lie.

I know, a lot of overly-dramatic people tend to say that, and some of them may not be exaggerating too much, but I definitely wasn't. My life wasn't really a life. Or, at least, it wasn't what I'd call a real life. See, I had something missing, something really important. The horrible thing was that I had given it up willingly, given up the most important thing in my entire existence because I'd seen an opportunity and heedlessly went for it.

I had been stupid.

But there was some consolation. We members of Organization XIII were special among our fellow Nobodies for several reasons, but one of the main ones being that we could remember what it was like to be Somebody. We all retained our memories of the life before, and it was for this reason that we appeared to have personalities. But it was all a ruse, whether we wanted to admit it or not. We didn't feel. We couldn't. There was no reason for us to feel. Whenever one of us was upset, or intrigued, or angry, or amused, we just acted the way we knew we should act in the given circumstances if we still possessed Hearts. We were imitators, pretending to be Somebodies.

We were all a bunch of liars.

It was the only explanation that ever made any sense to me. Why else would all of us retain so much of our former selves in demeanor when we actually had nothing guiding us to act? That's what a Heart did: gave a person a reason for being. We didn't have Hearts, so what the hell were we supposed to do? The real fact of the matter was that, while we all more or less looked exactly as we did prior to losing our Hearts, we were just empty shells, vessels for our lost memories. The vessels took on the attributes that were most dominant in our former selves and imitated a functioning personality. None of us could ever evolve because we had no core, no guiding force prompting change and development. We were automatons, mimicking a former life that was programmed into our data bank of files, our memories… the only thing guiding us to live without our Hearts.

But was it really living? I wondered that often enough during the time spent alone in my room, when I couldn't sleep. I supposed we all knew deep inside that we weren't living, not anymore, not without our Hearts. And that's why we all ultimately agreed to join Xemnas's group, why we all tolerated each other and managed to work together in order to achieve our collective goal: to regain our Hearts.

Me, though, I liked to consider myself a simple-needs kind of guy. So, I focused more on a much more particular personal goal, and that was survival. Continuing to exist, in one form or another, was the ultimate reason for my general (what some would argue to be impertinent) behavior.

I ended up on the path of a Nobody to become stronger, better, but that decision had made me lose much more than I ever gained. It hadn't been worth it, the loss of my Heart for more strength. The fact that I admitted this now definitely put me in the minority among my comrades. I had made a mistake. I admitted that. But doing so did nothing to immediately alter the circumstances I had made for myself. I had to live with the consequences.

But that didn't mean that I had to be passive about the whole thing now, did it?

I had no idea if I could ever be 'fixed.' All I knew was that being a Nobody was a cold, hard truth. So, I decided the only thing I could do was to stay alive, survive as best I could. Maybe a solution would come along someday. But, until then, I'd just exist. As best as a Nobody could, anyway.

I went with the Organization because they seemed like the most reasonable option at the time. Staying with the other Nobodies was my best chance at survival. So, that's what I did. Besides, it's not like I had anywhere else to go or anything.

For a while, everything was simple.

I played the Organization's game. I did what I was ordered to do without overdoing the snide remarks (too much). That way, no one gave me more than an annoyed passing thought. Mostly, though, I just kept to myself.

I appeared to be a social animal, poking fun at the others, most often appearing with a smile on my face. But I always preferred the times when I was alone. Then, I could drop the smile, drop the jokes, drop the act.

I usually just sat and thought, about the past mostly. I never had to think about the future much – when you run around like a trained dog, you get the luxury of not having to worry about what tomorrow may bring. Occasionally, though, I would consider my next couple of steps. Despite appearances to the contrary, I was a thinker, and I periodically stopped to check that the track I was on was still the best for my personal goal. Still, for the most part, I kept my head down and my fires burning.

It was better that way, being alone. Easier. Less fuss and no distractions to potentially get me mixed up and forgetting my priorities. It wasn't ideal, maybe, but my entire existence had become less than ideal, so it kind of went with the theme, you know? That was my general motto: keep things simple and then achieving my goal would be just as simple.

Then Roxas came.

Roxas

I was there.

That's the first thing I remember.

It wasn't so much of a thought as it was an… awareness.

I didn't know where I was, or who I was, but I was there.

A blank slate.

Every so often, I wonder what would have happened to me if Xemnas hadn't found me. Probably just wandered around like some lost animal until someone else picked me up. Or maybe, I'd still be out there, alone and not knowing who I was (which isn't so different from how I ended up, I suppose).

I guess you could say that Xemnas made me; he gave me a name and a place to be. And I don't mean the Castle, so much as the Organization. I didn't understand it at the time, I wasn't capable of it, but he gave me a home. Even if it turned out to be a false one in the end.

He also gave me a purpose: to work for the Organization and their goal of creating Kingdom Hearts. I never really knew what that meant while I was working toward it. Nobody told me, and I was trusting enough to simply do as I was told and follow my orders blindly. I only realized much later what a mistake that was.

I remember walking into that circular room for the first time, so blindingly white. I kept my head down, not because my eyes hurt from the stark color, but because I had no reason to pick it up. I could sense the other Nobodies on their high seats, I could hear them discussing me, yet it was like I wasn't registering what they were saying. I could hear them, I understood what their words meant, but they just didn't affect me. Words were being spoken, but they didn't really affect me; I kept being whether they were spoken or not.

There was one presence that was different, though, and it wasn't one of the ones raised high on the throne-like chairs. It was right behind me. It felt… warmer somehow. I may have just been sensing his control of the fire element, but it was a different kind of heat than flame. It was something coming from the inside, faint, but persistent. I wondered why it was only coming from him. I felt it even more strongly when he put his hand on my shoulder when it was time to leave. At the same exact moment, I felt something similar ignite within me, deep, deep down. It was too deep to cause any physical reaction on my part, I could barely sense it, but it was there, like someone had lit a tiny candle in a cavernous pit.

I looked up to my right. I saw a smile. It was the first one I had seen in the short time I'd been aware. It held such warmth. And I wondered, was that the source I had felt? It had potential, but there was something not quite right about it.

Then, I noticed the eyes. Bright, burning green eyes. And I realized that that had been the source of the warmth I had already felt, before I even saw it. I felt the heat of those eyes. They were intense, and I blinked, finally feeling marginally overcome by the rays travelling through me. I didn't smile back, I wasn't sure how, but I was fascinated, before I even knew what the idea meant, by those eyes.

Of course, after that I took in his hair, and I wondered how anything could have detracted from that brilliant sweep. He used the hand on my shoulder to turn me around and lead me out of the room into the less stark hallway.

I learned that his name was Axel. He told me to memorize it. I don't know why; it wasn't a hard name to recall, and he was certainly distinct. From the first moment I met Axel, even my empty hole of a brain recognized that he was different from the other Organization members. I realized later that it was how he acted toward me that was so different. He didn't just treat me as a new soldier for the cause, or a nuisance, or some kind of walking experiment like the others.

He treated me as if I were a Somebody.

I think it was because he wanted so badly to be treated as one himself.

And in our time together, that was the biggest lie he ever told me.

No, that's wrong…

It was the biggest lie he ever told himself.

Axel

I could hardly believe it. I could hardly believe that anyone could be so… oblivious.

Roxas was a piece of work. He was so damn literal. (Locating a chest, but not opening it? Seriously?). I wondered how he got through the day without someone ordering him to breathe every five seconds. I knew the boy's brain must be working in there somehow, the kid just didn't know what to do with himself. Roxas was like a processor without any data; he could function just fine, but there were no executions being inputted through his system, so he had no directive. I helped him out as best I could, while making fun of him along the way, of course. I had to keep it interesting for myself, and Roxas sure as hell wasn't providing any comedic relief.

The kid was lost. And the really terrible thing was, he probably knew he was, but had absolutely no idea how to go about fixing it.

So, I took him for ice cream. What else was I supposed to do? I had gotten a treat in this world a few times before; I'd been wandering around after a mission, and stumbled upon the little shop that sold that incredibly odd, yet incredibly sweet flavor. I knew Roxas would automatically want to go right back to the castle, but I sure as hell didn't, and I figured having the zombie-kid with me wouldn't cramp my style too much. He might actually turn out to be somewhat entertaining, if I could get him to talk.

It was nice enough, sitting up there, eating ice cream with Roxas. I'd gone up to eat at the top of the Clock Tower once before, and the view was spectacular. I liked going up there, looking at the colors in the sky, the brush of the breeze on my face and being above everything else in this world. I wanted to memorize it all, so that, if I ever got my Heart back, I'd be able to enjoy the memory.

I looked over at Roxas. The boy was a shell. He didn't have a Heart, the same as any Nobody, but his… not 'existence,' none of us actually existed… condition then, Roxas's condition was worse than any of ours. And that was because he had no memories. The rest of us, the other members of the Organization, carried on acting out our personalities because we could remember how we were supposed to be. Roxas couldn't remember, so he was just an empty vessel, a dumb lost consciousness wandering around without a purpose. Xemnas had given him, given all of us, a purpose within the Organization. But, still, I felt sorry for Roxas. He was more of a Nobody than any of us.

Roxas

I didn't do much those first few days, aside from carry out my orders. I didn't know what else to do. It may have been simple, but it gave me something to do with myself. It was Axel who showed me that there could be more to existence than doing what you're told.

There were several members of the Organization who made it clear enough that they didn't care for the rules imposed on them, but Axel was the only one I knew who actually went out of his way to break them. Or, at least, bend them a bit.

I actually don't remember much of the first time Axel and I went out on a mission together. He's told me that I basically acted like a zombie the whole time. I take his word for it. I do remember that first time we went up to the Clock Tower and had ice cream. It was a new experience for me, and I know, for me, that's not saying much, but it still meant a lot. That was the first time I registered what it was like to just exist, just to be, without any other objective getting in the way. I couldn't 'be' much that day, since I still hadn't developed my own personality yet, but it was my first chance to… start becoming me, I guess. And I was discovering myself with my first friend: Axel.

Later, back at the Castle, I asked him what had been the point of going up to the top of the Clock Tower and eating a snack. Axel replied, "To enjoy ourselves, Rox." That nickname. I have no idea why he felt the need to shorten my name, it wasn't that long to begin with, but he persisted in doing it.

"'Enjoy ourselves?'" I repeated.

"Yeah, you know, take a break and a reward for a job well done."

"How do you 'enjoy' something?"

"Jeez, kid, how do you-" Axel abruptly stopped walking and turned his gaze forward; he had been looking at me previously. He stood there for a moment, thinking, I assumed.

After a few more seconds of silence, I tried to regain his attention. "Axel…?"

He blinked. Then, his mouth set in a firm line. He had been half-smiling a minute before. "Don't worry about it. Catch you later, Roxas." He walked a few paces forward and turned toward the door on his left, opening it and shutting it again immediately after he'd passed through. I heard no other sound come from behind it.

I walked a few steps forward and looked up at the top of the frame – there was a large V and three I's in relief at the center. This was Axel's room. I stood and regarded the door for a moment, then continued on down the hall to my own room. I didn't know what had caused Axel to react that way to my question. It seemed simple enough to me, but I learned that there was hardly ever a simple answer to a simple question.

I also eventually learned that many of the answers I was given weren't even true, or else, they were only half-true, and meant to lead me to a different conclusion than what was reality. Yet, at the time, I was willing to take everything as it was given to me, explaining away any confusion I felt to my inexperience with the world. I was so accepting.

When you look at my beginnings, I guess you could say my life was based on a bunch of lies and unversed truths. Maybe that's why it all eventually collapsed around me.

Axel

It was another evening at the Clock Tower. And then Roxas dropped a bomb on me:

"Axel..." he asked, "what happens when we die?"

That one threw me for a loop. How the hell was I supposed to respond to a question like that? I mean, it was one thing to have this discussion in your average circumstances, say, with a young child who's confronted with the circle of life for the first time. But this… this was impossibly awkward, no other way to describe it.

I didn't say anything right away. I didn't even turn my head from gazing out at the horizon. I heard Roxas move and then settle, and figured that he might be watching me, waiting patiently. I guess the kid trusted that I would answer when I was ready.

I finally responded, "You mean, what happens when Nobodies die?"

I didn't make it a condescending question, and Roxas didn't take it as such. I guess he could sense something else in my tone, something that I don't know if either of us could name. "I guess…" he said softly from my left.

I had no idea what the hell happened to Nobodies when they… we… died. I usually didn't think about profound questions like that. They made my head hurt. Still, I didn't want to leave the kid hanging; he was obviously trusting me enough to openly ask me about this crazy idea. So, I opted for something that I overheard in the Chilly Academic's lab once. "I heard Vexen say that Nobodies simply fade from existence. We're just erased, and, since we don't have Hearts, nothing lingers after us. That's our fate, if we die without first reclaiming Kingdom Hearts."

I glanced over at Roxas. He was looking down, and, I couldn't be sure, but he looked like he was almost in pain. Like, there was something wrong in his gut, or something. I couldn't decipher it any more than that. "That's terrible," he whispered.

"But," I continued, hoping his expression might change when I did, "for the stronger Nobodies, like all of us in the Organization, there is also the possibility of a 'Next Life.' He didn't say what that would be exactly, or even what the chances are of it actually being true, but it would mean that we would continue to exist, in some form. It wouldn't necessarily be in a world we've already known either, it might be in one that we couldn't get to otherwise, but, maybe, we'd be reborn into that new world."

"Would we still look the same?" Roxas asked.

I chuckled a bit at his innocence and answered, "I don't know; Vexen didn't say. But, he made it seem like we'd still be us somehow."

"What do you believe, Axel?"

I blinked and looked over at Roxas. This had been the longest I'd contemplated this topic to date, so I didn't exactly have an opinion on it. Sure, I'd overheard that conversation Vexen had been having with Xemnas, but I didn't waste any more brainpower on it afterward. It was just more information to be stored away. It's not like I pondered the mysteries of my being much. To me, it was simple: I existed, but without a Heart, a Heart that I was told to try and reclaim. Though, as far as I was concerned, I just had to make sure I kept existing, because I didn't know. I didn't know what would happen to me if my situation changed again. And it was better to keep going at what you do know than trust you're fate to a possibility.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully.

Roxas gazed back out at the ever-setting sun. After a minute, he said, "I hope there is a Next Life for us."

I laughed softly again. Roxas really was a simple kind of guy, like me, I guessed, just with a lot less experience at his disposal. I decided to keep looking out for the little guy. He wasn't bad to have around, and these times eating ice cream were pretty nice.

Roxas

I came to look forward to those times on the Clock Tower. They were always the best part of my day.

There was a gentle silence as we ate our ice cream. Then, I swallowed and paused before randomly remarking, "Oh, I get it now."

"Get what?" inquired Axel. He perked up slightly, eyebrow raised in confusion. I understood why; a generic statement like that could lead to any number of possible revelations.

"Why we hang out here all the time," I replied. "It's a town of twilight."

"That would be why they named it 'Twilight Town,' yeah. You said so yourself, Rox." Axel smirked as he took another bite.

"Well, yeah, but why we're here so much. We're Nobodies, right? And Xemnas said that Nobodies exist between the Light and the Dark. So it makes sense why we'd hang out in a place that's the same as us. Twilight – between Light and Dark. Get it?"

Axel regarded me for a moment before smirking again looking down at his treat. "And here I thought it was just 'cause it's the only place that sells this flavor ice cream." He looked me in the eyes. A small grin crept up on my face.

"Vexen was right, you really have no mind for philosophy."

"Nah, I'm a doer. Act first, ponder the implications later." Axel took another satisfying bite of ice cream.

I grinned at my friend. As much trouble as Axel's personality got him all the time, it was a wonder he hadn't already been kicked out of the Organization. I wondered what a Nobody would have to do to commit a crime that bad. Maybe Axel just hadn't found that line yet. Still, he did always get the job done, even if his methods were a little… sidetracked at times.

"Hey, Roxas." Axel waved a hand in front of my eyes, as I'd been staring out over the station plaza. "Don't go all zombie on me again, okay?"

"Sorry," I said, "guess I was spacing out."

"Well don't. You weren't any fun back then." Axel reached out to ruffle my hair. "Matter of fact, you used to freak me out a bit."

"Gee, thanks," I said, a small laugh and a genuine smile escaping as I batted Axel's hand away.

"Well," said Axel as he stretched his arms above his head, one hand holding a now clean ice cream stick, "shall we head back home sweet home?"

I looked at the quarter of a bar still on my stick. "You always finish before me. You eat it too fast."

"No, you just let yours drip while you stare off into space. You think too much."

"Coming from you, that's not saying a lot."

Axel raised his eyebrows, then leaned his head back in a hearty guffaw. "Not bad, Roxas. Maybe my bad influence is rubbing off on you after all."

I smiled, finished my ice cream in two bites and waved the now clean stick in front of Axel's face. "Maybe it is."

Axel laughed harder as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a sideways hug as I let loose some satisfied laughter of my own. These were the moments I cherished. I almost didn't care whatever else happened in my life so long as Axel and I could keep having times like this – just talking and enjoying one another's company. No one I knew compared with Axel. He was one of a kind. And I liked that he was my friend.