Disclaimer: I own nothing! - Still in progress. CC greatfully recived.


It was the latest craze. Everyone who was anyone, Vimes considered, as he proceeded through Stator square, back toward the watch house, seemed to have one. Except for me, he added, with a feeling of smug superiority. He wondered momentarily if the things were entirely safe, but then dismissed the thought. If they were designed by wizards, he decided, he didn't want to go near one. He arrived at the watch house, trudged up the stairs and opened the door to his office. His eyes fell on a large box on his desk. Vimes backed out of his office slowly, and then moved to the stairway. "Carrot!"
Inside the HEM building at Unseen University, things were rather less quiet than usual. It was 4am, but the young wizards who congregated in the HEM know only one property of time, there was never enough of it. Inside, near the door, boxes were stacked in neat little piles and every so often, a dwarf with a cart would come and collect some. The boxes read;

New! From the halls of Unseen University, the greatest centre for magic anywhere on the Disc comes HEXBox! Never before has such a machine been created. Limited stock, get yours now!


Vimes was slumped, in his chair, behind his desk, in Sudopolis Yard, listening to Carrot and scowling malevolently.

"…and so, Sir, I felt that, to increase productivity in the force, we should move with modern technology and---"

"'Modern technology?' This is magic Carrot and I will not have it in the watch! And really, you did not have to do this just because I went to Sto Lat for a week!"

"Please give it a try sir, lady Sybil does approve so, in fact, I believe she has had one installed at your house."

Sam groaned, "Very well, I suppose you better show me how to use the damn thing."


The Librarian of Unseen University, unlike many of the faculty, did not mind leaving the snug, warm comfort of the UU's many heated rooms for a trip out. He especially did not mind today, he was out doing a job for Mr. Stibbons, and getting paid well too. The Librarian dipped the brush into the paste pot again and drenched another flimsy poster in the gloopy mixture, before firmly affixing it to the wall. Then he reached into some unknown space (he didn't wear clothes) and removed a banana, which he promptly consumed, disposing of the peel over his shoulder, much to the annoyance of the man who slipped on it, but to the general merriment of the watching Ankh-Morporkians. Then he left, heading for a section of wall as yet unaware of the terrific affixing power of a Librarian's fist. The poster left shuddering on the patchy brickwork read;

The New HEXBox from Unseen University. Now with double the ants, work twice as fast as before! Order from CMOT Dibbler & Co LTD or direct from the UU on C-mail: UUdirect.