Note: I don't own Invader Zim.

Scrambled Bacon

Zim woke up. It was seven o' clock in the morning, and he was starving.

"GIR! Make me breakfast!" Zim commanded.

GIR ran into the room and tripped on the carpet, then stood at attention.

"Yes SIR!" he stood there and didn't move. Five minutes passed.

"GIR! Are you going to do what I said or NOT?" Zim yelled.

GIR stared blankly, then shrugged, "Oopsy. I forgot what you said."

"I asked you to make breakfast for me. Now go into the kitchen and COOK SOMETHING!"

GIR scurried off into the kitchen. He hadn't the slightest idea what to make. And even so, if he had, he didn't have the slightest idea how to make it.

He thought for a while. Then his eyes lit up.

"Ooooh I know! Scrambled bacon!"

GIR proceeded to crash around the kitchen to gather as many ingredients and tools as possible, including a cheese grater, leftover cupcake crumbs, old bologna, a jackhammer, and god knows what else, but I highly doubt eggs or bacon were involved. Finally ready to begin, GIR excitedly threw everything into a huge pot, which he placed on the stove. He hummed the doom song as he stirred the mixture. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted one of his rubber piggies on the floor.

"Pigggeeeee!" GIR chirped excitedly, and he hopped over to pick it up and cuddle it. He brought it back with him to the stove so he could play with it while he 'cooked' the scrambled bacon, which was now bubbling and resembled green slime with various metal objects sticking up out of it.. Suddenly there was a crash upstairs, most likely because another one of Zim's experiments backfired. It scared GIR so much that he accidentally dropped the rubber piggy in the pot.

"PIGGY! Noooooo!" GIR cried, and he broke down and began sobbing. Then, his eyes glowed dark red. "No mean pot is going to steal MY piggy away!" He jumped into the icky goo to search for his beloved. After a few minutes, he found it and leapt back out of the pot.

"Awwww piggy, I love you too!"

Unexpectedly, Zim came into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"Is it ready yet?" he demanded.

"Hmmmmmm….yup!" GIR said. He lifted the pot (which was more than three times his size) full of ickyness off the stove and plopped it in front of Zim, who looked at it in disgust. GIR didn't notice. He had started singing and spinning in circles with his rubber piggy.

"GIR...GIRRRR……GIR!!!!" Zim hollered, trying to get his attention. GIR abruptly dropped the pig and stood at attention again.

"Yup?"

"What the heck is this stuff?!"

"Scrambled Bacon!"

"Oh really? Is it edible?" Zim added a touch of sarcasm.

"Ummmmmmm….I think so. It has a toaster in it!" GIR squeaked happily.

Zim banged his head on the table several times.

"Let's just go out somewhere," he groaned. Zim dragged GIR out of the house with him as he strained to grab his rubber piggy.

"GIR, for the last time, it's just a stupid pig!"

"Oh, he doesn't want to come along anyway. Byebye, piggy!"

Zim and GIR went to a drive thru. All GIR wanted was a steaming plate of…cupcakes. Zim simply ordered nachos.

-END-

Heh…kinda ran off the track on the ending. Hope you liked it.