l'introduction

I spend my life doing the same things everyday, in the case of necessity and fear of what might happen if I broke out, ran away, and did everything my heart weeps and aches to do every single day.

I become so very grossly obsessed, involved and devoured by certain things of which capture my imagination, not that there are many things that actually switch that light in my head on. I'd never met a person who took my interest in that way, that made me sit and stare at every detail of their skin, hair, eyes, movements, speech, voice, smile, until the day I saw him.

His skin was worn, yet young. It looked abused and untouched, like a kiss had never been planted on his frail bones, which stood with such a heavy weight on his shoulders. His hair was a reflection of his emotional state, he hadn't taken care of it, all over the place, outgrown, dark and was exactly the type of hair you wanted to just delve your fingers into, much like I wanted to delve into everything that made him who he was. His eyes were much older then he was, they showed reflections of every little horror he had seen, every tear he'd unwillingly let drop. He didn't like to cry, he didn't like allowing anyone to break him to a point of desperation where he couldn't show what he wanted to say through words anymore, so the only thing left to do, was cry. His eyes showed he wouldn't trust you as far as he could throw you, but he wanted nothing more than to allow himself to love you and for heavens sake, someone love him back. His movements were awkward yet delicate and fluid in motion, every time he stood up, sat down, moved his legs, spoke with his hands he was aware you were watching. It almost seemed like he wasn't used to someone actually seeing him, someone listening to what he had to say, and paying attention.

He speaks with meaning, every word that comes out of his mouth has an emotional attachment, he's thought it through, he knows what he wants to say and sometimes he speaks in a way you won't understand, he gets lost in his own world and when he does, you'll see how invested in it he is, how deeply he concentrates on it, how much he lives in it.

His voice can only be described as comfort. His voice envelopes you in safety, wonder and magic. His voice allows you to daydream, and forget.

He smiles like he's never smiled before, like he appreciates that moment of happiness more than anything in the world, like…..just for that second he's forgotten everything that pushes him down, and he's lost all awareness of the unhappiness he'll continuously dragged around with him.

He's the definition of beauty.