I would like to dedicate this to two fantastic authors:
A Robbed Heart- For being awesome! Not only is her SasuHina fic "Derailed" fantastic, but we're similar! (Look I'm still complementing you!) Sorry for not replying sooner...
Atropa13- (a.k.a. Trollmia) One of my favorite authors! All of her Naruto fics are amazing. I wonder if she'll even read this?
"Better Than Me"
I think you can do much better than me
Sasuke stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, trying to make up his mind. If he took Orochimaru's promise of power, learned from him, gained enough power to escape/kill him before he took his body and kill Itachi. However, that meant betraying Konoha, leaving his home, the last connection he had of his family, his team, everyone in the village (minus his fan-girls, leaving them was a 'pro' of going to Sound), but especially leaving… her.
After all the lies that I made you believeGuilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to beHe stood up and walked into the bedroom that was attached to his by the bathroom. Her room. The room she always stayed in when they were kids and she used to sleepover.
Even after several years of absence, it still looked like her. Her tastes hadn't changed much. Subdues, pastel tones with white wicker furniture. Simple, elegant, beautiful: a perfect reflection of its occupant.
I told myself I won't miss youBut I remembered
What it feels like beside youGoing in her room was a mistake. It only made leaving harder. How could he leave her? She was perfect, perfect for him. She brought out all that was good in him. How could everyone not see her? She was the one who was there for him when everyone else was murdered. When he was afraid to be alone; seeing his brother in every shadow, seeing ghosts in every hallway. She knew exactly what he needed. For hours, she would sit next to him, not speaking a word, knowing he didn't want to talk about his feelings. She was the only reason he ate at all that first month.
Her presence gave him the strength to venture outside again. Where she was promptly pushed aside so people could stare and pity him: the Uchiha Survivor, claiming they knew what he was going through.
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
Leaving her room, he walked down the hallway, heading to the kitchen to munch on whatever scraps of food he had. Passing a window he saw the tree house. It had been there almost as long as the village had been established. Built by one of the first of the Uchiha's for the children to play in (and hide, should the village be invaded). It had been her favorite place to eat ice cream on hot summer days.
She would always look so excited, holding the small cone with a single scoop of vanilla so carefully in both hands. He would have to carry it up the rope ladder for her every time, after she slowly climbed to the top and sat in her favorite spot. Whenever Sasuke would get to the top with her treat she would always look at him with awe, her white-lavender eyes so wide, they nearly took up half of her face, her short hair looking royal purple in the sunlight. She would always let him have the first lick of her ice cream. He wouldn't get his own because he never liked sweets. But he always loved having the first lick of her treat because it was hers. She was always so sweet just like her ice cream.
In return, whenever he would get a fresh tomato for a treat, he would let her have the first bite. Secretly, he was a little put out whenever he would relinquish his favorite food to her but the hug she would give him in thanks always made it worth it.
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
Sasuke remembered the evening after Orientation Day. Walking home after listening to Kakashi tell them how horrible tomorrow would be, blah blah. Going through town took him past the ice cream vendor his mother would always take the two of them to. Kurenai was treating her new genin team to a snack.
He saw Hinata reach out with both of her hands to grab her cone. Her cone with a single scoop of vanilla. Her eyes were soft and her mouth held a small smile. However, when she held the cone close to her, she frowned delicately, staring at the ice cream like something was wrong.
Sasuke stopped walking to watch her from across the street. He wondered if she remembered their summer time ritual too. She lifted her eyes to look directly into his. Her cheeks tinted a slight pink and biting her bottom lip delicately, she lifted her ice cream up a fraction in his direction. He could feel his face relax into the beginning of a smile as he lifted his foot to take a step toward her. Suddenly, the dog-boy asked her, loudly (was the Hokage sure Naruto wasn't related to the Inuzuka clan?), if anything was wrong since she wasn't eating. The trance broken, he didn't wait to hear her stutter out an answer as he quickly returned to the Uchiha manor.
The next day he found a paper bag on his doorstep with a fresh tomato inside. There was a small bite taken out of it.
While looking through your old box of notesI found those pictures I took
That you were looking forThe only unspoiled food Sasuke could find in his kitchen was some cheese and a box of crackers (he was tired of rice and in no mood to cook anything). It wasn't the most nutritious dinner, but at least it was better than ramen. Going into the family room, he lounged on the couch, the cheese on a paper towel on his chest and the box of crackers within reach on the ground beside the couch.
Reaching down to grab several more crackers, Sasuke turned slightly toward the box and felt (and saw) a piece of cheese fall and roll under the couch. Grunting in mild annoyance, Sasuke picked up the paper towel and swung his legs around so he was sitting up on the couch and placed the cheese beside him where his legs had been. Reaching down under the couch, Sasuke felt around for the piece of cheese. However, instead of the rubber-like texture he was searching for, his hand bumped into something hard and thick, like a book.
Curious, he pulled the book forward and picked it up once he could get a good grip on it. Setting it on his lap, Sasuke wiped off the layers of dust and recognized an old photo album. Opening it up, Sasuke saw it was filled with pictures of himself and Hinata as children. Gazing at the pictures the young man was bombarded with memories of holidays, days at the park, sleepovers, birthday parties, and weekends out with his mom.
Flipping the page, Sasuke saw his favorite picture of her. Hinata and Sasuke were sitting next to each other at an outside table at his mother's favorite café. They were surrounded by shopping bags while sharing a menu, both so intent on it that they didn't even realize they were being photographed. Sasuke smiled softly; he could remember that day like it was yesterday. He recalled every outfit the Uchiha matriarch had made the shy little Hyuuga heiress try on. But mostly, he remembered the white peony he had given her, which was tucked delicately behind her ear in the picture, and the question he had asked her.
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
A four-year old Sasuke was grinning as he walked down the hallways of the Uchiha manor. It was Friday and tomorrow he would see Hinata and his mom would take them out shopping and then to lunch at the
While walking to his room, he heard his father's voice getting louder. As he passed his father's study, he saw his nii-san sitting in the chair across from his father's desk. Deciding to snoop, Sasuke flattened himself against the wall next to the door. His father was talking to Itachi about something called an 'in-gage-mint'. Sasuke frowned; spying was no fun unless you understood what was being said. Determined not to give up, Sasuke turned around and walked back the way he came to ask Mom what this 'in-gage-mint' thing was and why Dad was talking to Itachi about one.
The next morning, Sasuke woke up early to go search in the fields for a white peony. They were Hinata's favorite flower. Sasuke wanted to give her one today when he asked her marry him. Last night his mom had said 'an engagement' was when you asked someone you were in love with to marry you, like mommy and daddy were. This answer caused Sasuke to ask another question. How did you know when you were in love with someone? Makoto had smiled and said it was when you cared about someone so much that you wanted to spend your life with together with them. You wanted them to be happy and being with them made you happy. Pondering these answers, Sasuke came to the conclusion that he was in love with Hinata and decided to ask her to marry him tomorrow.
Hiding the precious flower carefully in his jacket pocket, Sasuke waited until his mom left to go put the clothes that didn't fit on the salesperson's rack and to go find a few pieces in different sizes. Once she was gone, Sasuke knocked on Hinata's dressing room door and asked if he could come in, he had something to ask her. Hinata cracked open the door just wide enough for her friend to squeeze in.
Sasuke gasped when he saw her, "Wow, Hinata-chan. You look beautiful." She was wearing a kimono that was deep purple at the bottom that got lighter so it was pale lavender at the middle and white at the collar. The fabric was dusted with shiny stars randomly with a dark blue obi. His compliment caused her face to turn as red as his favorite food as she smiled shyly and thanked him quietly.
Clearing his throat, Sasuke pulled the flower out and held it out to her. Taking a deep breath Sasuke asked Hinata his question, "Will you marry me?"
Hinata looked at him with an adorably confused expression on her face, her mouth open slightly. "A-ano, what did you say Sasuke-kun?"
"When we're older, will you marry me? I really, really like spending time with you. I think I love you. And I don't want to live without you." Sasuke repeated; elaborating in the hope that it would help her understand and accept his proposal quicker.
"R-really? You mean it?" She asked, eyes wide and shining with hope, begging him to be serious.
Sasuke nodded. Hinata smiled and reached out to take the flower. Closing her eyes, Hinata raised the flower to breathe in its delightful fragrance before looking back at Sasuke.
"Yes, Sasuke-kun. I'll marry you."
Sasuke grinned widely and pecked his fiancé on the cheek before hugging Hinata tightly. He heard her giggle softly and felt her hug him back.
It was the happiest moment of Sasuke's life.
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
Sasuke sighed and closed the album. Leaning his head back on the top of the couch, Sasuke closed his eyes. He could still remember the first time he met her.
It was the beginning of June, just before his fourth birthday. He was playing in the park when he spotted a little girl about his age with dark purple hair hiding her face curled up in the dirt in front of one of the swings. From the sounds coming from her, Sasuke guessed she was crying. Being the generous Leo he was, he decided to go and see what was wrong.
He walked up to her quietly, not wanting to scare her, and sat down right in front of her. "Are you ok?" He asked, not knowing how else to find out why she was crying.
She nodded mutely and tried to quiet her sobs.
"Then why are you crying?"
When she remained silent, Sasuke rubbed her back soothingly, like his mom did whenever he cried.
…Not that he cried.
"Maybe I can help."
Sniffing one last time, the curtain of hair shifted as she lifted her face up for the first time since he sat down. Her pale lavender eyes raised up to his chin, she seemed incapable of looking him straight in the eye.
"I-I fell o-o-off the swi-ing and scraped my kne-ees and ha-ands." Her lower lip started trembling as she showed him her palms. "An-n-nd now Daddy's gonna b-be mad at me for get-t-t-ting hurt and c-crying." Tears were starting to stream down her cherub cheeks by the time she finished.
Sasuke knew what it was like to get upset at the thought of upsetting your father, so he could hardly blame her for crying. Still, he didn't have a sister or many (any, really) girl friends so he wasn't sure how to make her feel better.
'If rubbing her back like Mom does to me made her feel better,' Sasuke thought. 'Then maybe doing what Mom does when I get a cut will help.'
His course of action decided, Sasuke gently grasped her wrists and kissed her palms one at a time. When he lowered her hands, she was staring at him with wide eyes, disbelief and awe mixing in her pale lavender orbs.
"Any better?" He asked hopefully.
She nodded, smiling shyly, a blush dusting her cheeks. "T-thank you."
"I'm Uchiha Sasuke. What's your name?"
"Hyuuga Hinata."
"Ok Hinata-chan, now, what are we going to do about your Dad?" Sasuke thought out loud. 'Hmmm, she's cute, especially when she smiles. And she has cool eyes.'
After a few more moments of thinking, an idea popped into the littlest Uchiha's head. Grabbing her right hand gently, he didn't want to hurt her palm; he started to tug her along with him.
"Come with me, Hinata-chan. I have an idea,"
Having no choice and not minding in the least, Hinata let Sasuke lead her across the park.
Sasuke walked up to his mom and tugged on her skirt to get her attention. When she bent down to his level, he opened his mouth before she had a chance to say anything.
"Mom, this is my new friend Hinata, can I keep her?"
Makoto just blinked at her son before turning to the little girl who was trying desperately to hide behind Sasuke. "Hello Hinata-chan, I'm Uchiha Makoto, Sasuke's mommy. Would you like to sleep over at our house tonight?"
His mom had sent a messenger over to the Hyuuga estate so Hinata's father wouldn't worry. And thus Hinata and Sasuke's friendship, and their sleepovers, began.
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
Sasuke got up and walked into his room. He packed all of the things he would need into his backpack. He didn't need much. Walking back downstairs he paused when he saw the photo album still lying on the couch. Moving over to it quickly, Sasuke picked it up and opened it back to his favorite picture. Taking it out of the protective sheath, he quickly put it in his short's pocket.
He would go to Sound. He would learn from Orochimaru. He would gain power. He would avenge his family. Then he would come back to her.
The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
He just needed to see her one more time.
Wish I never would've said it's over
She had visited him in the hospital after the preliminaries of the third chunin exam. She brought him a fresh tomato for him and a single scoop vanilla ice cream cone for herself. After performing their old ritual they sat in silence while they ate. Sasuke was plagued with dark thoughts.
Sighing, Sasuke looked at the wall in front of him, knowing if he looked at her angelic face he'd lose his resolve. "I need to focus on becoming stronger. I don't have time for anything else."
He wasn't sure how she would take his dismissal. He was sure that it wouldn't be what she said next.
"I understand."
Sasuke's head snapped in her direction. Scarcely believing his ears.
She smiled gently at him, "You have a pledge to keep. But don't forget the promise you made me, after you've fulfilled the one to your family." She stood, and paused, hesitant, but determined nonetheless. She leaned forward a placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before quickly leaving.
And I can't pretend… I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
Sinking into the Hyuuga compound, which wasn't very hard considering the practice he'd had over the years, he picked up three pebbles. He threw two at her window in rapid succession pausing a moment before throwing the third. Their secret signal. Half a minute later, the window was opened and Hinata stuck her head out.
Minutes later, Hinata stood in front of Sasuke just outside her family's compound.
"I'm leaving Konoha."
"I know."
Sasuke lowered his head, glaring at the ground. How could she be so understanding? Why did he always end up hurting her?
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
"You deserve much better than me." Sasuke admitted. His heart clenching at the thought of Hinata with someone else.
Hinata stepped closer to him, placing two fingers under his chin and lifting his face so he could meet her eyes.
"Love isn't about what you deserve. It's about what you want. I told you I would marry you that day in the dressing room and I still mean it. Otherwise I would have given this back to you." She smiled and pulled out the pressed white peony he had given her that day.
It was the first flower she had ever pressed. A few days after she had agreed to marry him she told him she was worried about the maids throwing the flower away once it died. She didn't know what to do. He started to get nervous staring into her wide tearing eyes, looking at him as if he had the answers to all the questions in the universe. So, he did what he usually did in such situations.
Asked his mother.
She had suggested Hinata press the flower in order to preserve it and showed her how to do it.
Hinata had an entire journal filled with pressed flowers that Sasuke had given her or they had picked together.
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
What did he do to have such an incredible young woman promise to wait for him?
Looking into her eyes Sasuke placed his hands on her hips. Tilting his head slightly Sasuke leaned his head down and kissed Hinata on the lips tenderly. She sighed and leaned into him, her arms placed gently on his shoulders.
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
Pulling back from her lips softly, Sasuke whispered a parting and quickly left her standing there, his words still ringing in her ears.
"I'll come back to you, I promise."
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
(You deserve much better than me)
Sasuke stared intently at the road ahead of him. He would return one day. He would return to her.
A/N: I'm leaving for Japan in two days so don't expect any response from me! I'll be flying back to Va on July 19th. That doesn't mean you can't review though ((wink))((wink))!
Wow, this is my first Naruto fic, het fic, SasuHina fic, and songfic (not my first one-shot though). That's a lot of firsts...
Oh, and I'd like to add my friend Tess to the people I'm dedicating this to. She's the one who encouraged me to finish this and post it before I left on vacation. So thank her! Bwahahaha... yeah I'm done now I promise.
