Konohagakure no Sato
Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai
Special Assassination and Tactical Squad
Commando, Intelligence and Reconnaissance Division
Proclamation No. 718 (Marked as Confidential)
Under Land of Fire Decree No. 66 – Creation of Special Groups and Divisions for ANBU, we the undersigned hereby enumerate the goals, rules and regulations for the newly established Female Undercover and Clandestine Keeping (FUCK) Section.
1. The FUCK Section of the ANBU was first proposed by Mitarashi Anko for the following reasons:
i. To create a section in the ANBU that will focus on espionage and underhanded tactics in gathering intelligence, mainly using the "feminine wiles" to
extract needed information
ii. To stop unnecessarily sending reluctant and untrained kunoichis in going to seduction missions which can eventually compromise the mission.
2. The use of seduction and intercourse in previous missions has left an equally alarming increasing rate of many kunoichis going to Konoha's Psychology and Guidance Counseling Department in the hospital. To limit and hopefully deteriorate the obvious psychological trauma brought about by these missions, Mitarashi Anko proposed that a maximum limit of 3 kunoichis be part of this Section and 1 Section Head. These three females will be the only participants in seduction missions. Lady Tsunade, Godaime Hokage of Konoha seconded her proposal.
Rules and Regulations
1. The FUCK Section will compose mainly of 1 Section Head and two kunoichis. Jiraiya-sama will function as Section Head and Advisor, while Mitarashi Anko will serve as both sensei and member.
2. Members of the FUCK Section will be officially called Fucker Agents, as what Mitarashi Anko vehemently insisted. Hokage-sama preferred them to be called Tapper Agents or Sleepers especially when on missions.
3. All agents are first and foremost shinobis and ANBU agents before they are Fucker Agents. The nature of their mission does not define them as a person.
4. Members will be partnered with other ANBU members outside of the Section. Their partner/s will be informed of the nature of their occupation prior to the start of their missions.
5. Confidentiality and Privacy of the members of this section are highly guarded. Permission to reveal the identities of FUCK Section members are granted only to the Hokage, the FUCK agent's ANBU partner and to the agent itself.
6. All agents must be non-virgins.
7. All agents are free to use any "methods" to accomplish their mission.
8. All agents are required to take birth control pills as prescribed to prevent unwanted pregnancies. All agents are also required to be subjugated to pregnancy tests after each mission and pregnancy test results will be reflected after each mission report. Psychological and medical exams are available when needed.
9. Members are not allowed to fall in love and involve themselves in romantic relationships.
Approved by:
Jiraiya-Sama (FUCK Section Head) Shizune (proxy for Jiraiya-sama / witness)
Mitarashi Anko (Section Member and Sensei)
Tenzou (ANBU Representative)
Hokage Tsunade-sama (Godaime Hokage, Konohagakure no Sato)
Hokage Tower
After reading the proclamation being signed, Mitarashi Anko couldn't help to suppress a snicker while holding her copy of the proclamation. Shizune, who was serving tea to the Hokage looked up.
"What's gotten you so happy, Anko?" Anko couldn't help but laugh at the assistant and the Hokage's raised eyebrows. "Hahaha, those three elders are so gonna have a bitchfit when they see this! Not that I'm planning on telling them anything, but I sure as hell would be happy to see Danzo's jackassed face when he dies and discovers this little piece of gold here."
"And what's with the name? FUCK Section? Seriously, Anko?" Tenzou asked incredulously.
"Aah, shush it, Tenzou, don't be such a pussy now. And it's not like it's far from the purpose of my section. I think it's kinda clever and gives very good vibes." Tenzou shook his head and remained silent.
The Hokage sipped her tea and grinned. "Those three elders give me more headaches than all of my hangovers combined. Approving a proclamation without their knowledge and withholding information will get those cranky antiques riled up. Seriously, we don't want this kind of information handed out to them. They'll exploit you and the girls, Anko. Kami knows what they'll do to you and your team."
Anko swallowed her dangos before she spoke."Tsch. They lay one finger on my team or try to interfere with us and I'll shove their pretty heads over their asses. Not gonna happen on my watch. Jiraiya-sama has already sent me the program for the training and I'm goin' to do it outside of Konoha, away from granddaddies and granny's eyes."
"Have you chosen which girls you want in your team, Anko?". Tenzou, who was sitting opposite Anko interjected.
Anko paused for a moment, her dango stick poked her cheeks as if in serious thought of what she will say. "I was thinking if Uzuki Yugao will be available, I dunno, the dove's been depressed since Gekko Hayate died. The other member, hmm, I will have to ask permission from Hokage-sama if she will approve that I train a younger shinobi. You know, sex is a bang because there's variety. " Tenzou choked on his tea while Anko could only roll her eyes over his reaction. She turned and faced Tsunade for her decision. "So what would you say, Hokage-sama?"
Tsunade placed her elbows on her desk, her well-manicured fingers intertwined and her chin placed above her hands. "Actually, I've been thinking about giving this girl a proposition. She's shy and plagued with low self-esteem. She needs the push, Anko, and I think you'll level up her confidence."
"Really? Who's the lucky fledgling?". Anko voiced, obviously curious.
"Shizune! Grab the folder that I've been telling you to keep guard!" Tsunade shouted to her assistant, while she grabbed a bottle of sake from her drawers. She placed them on the table, handed cups to Tenzou and Anko. "I need to drink now, and I think you two will also need it after I tell you this. Drink up, Tenzou, you need this more than Anko." Tenzou and Anko could only accept the Hokage's offer.
Shizune came back with the shinobi file, slightly uncertain of the Hokage's plan. She handed the folder to Anko. Tenzou glanced at the kunoichi's name and could only remain silent as Anko read through the file.
"You want me to train her? Are you sure, Hokage-sama?" The surprised Anko couldn't hold herself from asking.
"Yes, and I want you to keep this a secret. Not everyone's fully aware of her situation. An uproar is the last thing we need right now, seeing that she's only been gone for 3 months. Not to mention the fragility of your training." The Hokage answered.
"But Hokage-sama, she's dead!" Anko retorted in a whispered voice.
The Hokage shook her head. She looked back at Anko and Tenzou who were still waiting for her reply. Shizune stood behind the Hokage, ready for whatever materials her Hokage wanted. "That's what's been reported, but I assure you, she is not. A friend of the old man found her being chased and pulled some strings to make it look like she's dead. She realized that the girl's status is important to Konoha, being the heiress and all, and she made sure that the old man knew of it. I got hold of her letter when I arrived, and we've been in contact ever since."
Tenzou frowned. "The girl was chased? I thought she was kidnapped and killed, that her body was burned to crisps and only her hita-ite was the only thing they could recognize."
The Hokage looked grim before she spoke. "She was not kidnapped, as what most have presumed. She was chased, and lucky enough the old man's friend and her brother intervened." She took a large gulp from her sake before she spoke. "She was chased by two of Danzo's boys. Danzo's calm now when we reported that she was dead."
The room suddenly fell silent. The revelation of Danzo's involvement over the girl's misfortune hit them in waves.
Anko broke the the silence. "So I must train the girl now. I assume the fledgling's still with the Sandaime's friend?"
Tsunade nodded. "She still can't come home, I don't want her to, not with that bastard looming in Konoha's underground tunnels. She's safer there, and as you said you want to train outside of Konoha." She looked at Tenzou. "We might need you to train her too. Drag that lazy friend of yours sometime so both of you can teach her and improve her jutsus. Prepare her for what's to come." Tenzou nodded. The slug princess dismissed them, and he disappeared into a puff of smoke.
Anko stood up and looked at the Hokage and bowed. " Gotta pack for my solo mission, Tsunade-sama. Will make sure our fledgling gets to be trained well so she can kick and aim hard for Danzo's nuts. May I know where she is?"
The Hokage gave her a smile and handed her a piece of paper. "Have a nice trip to Suna."
Anko smiled and turned to exit her office. "Well, well, well, Suna it is."
A/N : Rated M for possible gore, violence and , uh, compromising situations ;)
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