Pieces of Shattered Glass
A Yu-Gi-Oh poem fic by Mercury Kitten
Run up the side of the bottle…
Watch me fall a million miles to the bottom
And never land on solid ground…
It was dark night, so ominous, so predictable. He should have seen it coming.
But he was only a kid, not even a teenager yet. He wasn't even sure if he had reached 10 years old…
He never had realized when his parents had kissed him good bye, they would do it for the very last time. He thought he would see them again. Life would go on as normal the very next day.
But no. After that last goodnight kiss, life would never be the same for the Kaiba brothers.
They weren't even known as the Kaiba brothers then. That happened some time after that night. Then, they were only known as Seto and Mokuba, two regular boys who had perfectly normal lives. One was older and more down-to-earth than the other, who was smaller, but had a heart that was so big that it could easily belong to someone twice, no, three times his size.
What had we done to deserve what had happened? Seto still constantly pondered. I know I had yelled at Mokuba that night…I didn't want to have to baby-sit him again…but did I deserve for them to die? Was that accident some sort of punishment for my selfishness?
He couldn't help but wonder if it was entirely his fault.
Tried to reach so many times
For something to grab onto…
But these pieces of my shattered mind
are nothing to grasp…
Only stab me with their edges…
Seto could just imagine what had happened. He could see clearly in his mind the car his father was driving spinning on black ice and slamming into another car on the road. He could see the door of the black van collapse in and shatter, sending its horrible shards at his poor mother. The woman at the hospital had said his mother had been killed by the window glass breaking. The boy couldn't even begin to imagine his once sweet, beautiful mother's gentle pale skin being invaded by pieces of a broken window, her gentle body covered in her own cold blood…
He honestly had no idea what really happened…no nurse could explain the intensity of all the gruesome details over the phone to a half-listening boy who was paralyzed with shock. He did know both of his parents had died on impact, and that the couple in the car they had crashed into had been killed also. But Seto had no way of actually feeling the pain of the crash, understanding the colossal wave of emotion his mother and father had felt the mere seconds before their souls were claimed. He did not know what they thought before they finally died, if they imagined him, or if they were still angry with him for not wanting to watch his brother…did they still love him before they died?
Falling to the bottom
It's all what I have done…
I have shattered the glass I fall onto
And you are not there to hold me
As I go down…
Even now, with all that he had, he still couldn't live with himself. Even though he was the head of Kaiba Corp. after his adoptive father, even though he was rich enough to retire at 18 and live more comfortably than most could even imagine, he didn't want to live as guilty as he was living now.
Would things have been different if I had not been angry? If I hadn't yelled at my parents and Mokuba, would this have not have happened? Is this my punishment for being a horrible brother and a horrible son?
The tall boy leaned forward and put his head down on his desk. His chestnut bangs flopped messily around his icy blue eyes, but he didn't care. Seto knew he desperately needed a haircut, but he had been so wrapped up in his work that he kept forgetting to get it cut. It wasn't even like his hair even mattered, anyway.
Nothing really mattered anyway. Nothing amounted to anything anymore.
Why did my family have to be punished for my anger? They had done nothing wrong…I should have been the only one to suffer…my parents should have not had to died, nor should Mokuba have had to lose them…I should be the only one who had to feel pain…
Every day, Seto went through this horrible guilt…he had so much, and had the potential to own even more, but he couldn't buy his way out of his unbearable thoughts.
He felt something strange on his face. Reaching up, he felt sweltering hot tears on his cheeks. It had been a long time since he had cried. Years, even. Throughout the years Seto had taught himself to block out most emotion, but now his mental barrier was breaking under the impact of such strong feeling that he could not help but shed tears…
There is nothing I can do anymore
I'm falling to the hell of shattered glass…
My broken heart falls before me…
Until I have a soul no longer…
"Brother…?"
A young boy entered into Seto's office. He had long, spiky hair that was the color of dark chocolate, and soft brown eyes that melted quizzically on viewing Seto.
"Seto, what's wrong?" Mokuba asked uneasily. He had never seen his brother cry before.
"Mokuba…" Seto whispered, not lifting his eyes to face the boy.
"What…what's going on?" Mokuba said quietly. He grabbed a chair from the corner of the office and pulled it up next to the older boy.
"Mokuba, I'm sorry about Mom and Dad…it's all my fault…" Seto sobbed, trying to hide his weeping under his arms.
"Brother, you didn't kill them…it can't be your fault." Mokuba responded, bewildered by his brother's obvious misery.
"If only I had been a better brother…they might not have died…"
"That's not true, Seto. It was an accident. The car slipped on black ice. Why is it your fault?"
"You wouldn't understand, Moky. You're too young. And I've been such an awful brother…" Seto whispered, choking back another sob. He couldn't bear crying like this in front of Mokuba, but all the tears he had held back for so many years seemed to be bursting through a dam in his heart.
"You're a great brother, Seto. You've always watched out for me. Even when we were at the orphanage and all the older boys picked on me, you would beat them up. You've always looked out for me, even when times looked tough for us. And look where we are now!" The young boy said gently.
"But I yelled at you before our parents left that night. I called you worthless."
"I don't expect you to be nice to me all the time. Brothers are supposed to fight. I'm supposed to get on your nerves. It's my job."
Seto gave his brother a half smile, but put his head back on his desk.
"It's also my job to be there for you when you need me." Mokuba said kindheartedly, putting his small hand on his brother's shoulder. "You were there for me all these years…and I'm always here for you, Seto. And it's not your fault the car crashed. Get that out of your head."
The older boy sat up. Looking into Mokuba's eyes, he realized his little brother was right. For once, Mokuba was actually right, and he was wrong.
"Thanks, kiddo." Seto said, and actually gave him a full-fledged smile.
"Let me know if you need me again." The young boy said kindly, and exited the room.
Seto smiled again. For once, he was able to smile without feeling guilty.
It is not my fault anymore. I was not punished…I have been forgiven.
Falling through my shattered mind
Land upon the shattered glass
But I've taken your hand
You have pulled me from the glass
From the depths of the bottle
And on to solid ground…
And I am no longer shattered.
