"Skwisgaar, ares you watching?"

Seated at the picnic table, the blond squinted into the darkness. The sun set an hour or so ago, leaving them in lamplight on Mordhaus' lush lawns. Toki—his silhouette, more accurately—marched about with Baldur right on his heels. "I's trying. Come closer."

"Checks this out." Baldur jogged along, tongue hanging out and attention focused on Toki. Whenever the Norwegian altered his path, no matter how sharply a degree, the wolf too adjusted. "So that's what we's been learning in obedience class."

"Dat's pretty cools." Maybe now Baldur would think twice before jumping up onto Skwisgaar's bed. It wasn't so bad when the wolf remained puppy white; at least then, his shedding wasn't so visible. Grey now, the only reason Skwisgaar allowed Baldur in his room at all was because Toki brought him there. Oh well—need to make rid of the fur created a new job position amongst the klokateers.

Immediately and without instruction, Baldur sat as Toki stopped before Skwisgaar. "Why don'ts you talk much tonight?"

Skwisgaar managed a reassuring smile. "I hasn't figureds dis out quites yet, so I don'ts know what to say."

"Is something goings on?"

Skwisgaar stood with a shake of his head. Coming outside should've distracted him, but somehow the anxious bundle nesting in his chest sent his fingertips into a tremble. Months passed since he last experienced such strife. He of course recognized the familiar dissatisfaction that came before he and Toki's arrangement. Was something wrong, for him to feel this way again? Skwisgaar might've thought so, if it addled him when receiving the treatment he so desperately craved.

Leaned against the inside of Toki's bedroom door, Skwisgaar chewed his lip. Normally the ability to express his needs came so easily. He didn't consider himself a complex creature, especially in relation to the Norwegian. The different aspects of their relationship could be cleanly divided; they still hung out as friends, then as play partners, then as occasional lovers. Sometimes two or all could overlap, but those distinctions remained.

Toki pat the bed beside him. "Sit."

Loose threads tightened against the spool as Toki gently fingered his hair. Maybe Skwisgaar should sleep on it one more time before opening this conversation. If left unfinished when they separated for the night, neither of them would feel satisfaction.

"I can tell you not happy, Skwis. And it gots to does with me, otherwise you woulds has breezed it off right when we meets up."

"I amn'ts unhappy, just t'inking. Is hard to put to words. But I tries." The mere possibility of his latest yearning coming to fruition tortured Skwisgaar endlessly. "You remembers when you last cane me?"

Toki nodded.

"I still can'ts describe it, but I can tells you what happen." Skwisgaar pulled one leg up on the bed so that he could better face Toki. "For a briefs moment, I lost my identities. Word don'ts do it justice, so I hopes you can appreskate dat for what it am."

The Norwegian's eyebrows arched in concern. "Ares you telling me I dids go too far?"

"No." Skwisgaar would've said so, and he certainly wouldn't have allowed that degree of dominance again if he felt he couldn't trust the younger man. "It was a goods t'ing, whats I need more of. I woulds like to try having somet'ing what happen all de time."

"Nots just a thing we gets together to does once in a while?"

Skwisgaar shook his head. "We gots a good t'ing right now, goods balance, but I wants to know what you t'ink about beings more involved, dat way. I don'ts mean like letting dis spills out of de bedroom or beings all showy abouts it, but if dere am somet'ing goings on in de background of us regular lives."

"Depends. You sayings a lot without tellings me what you asking for."

"I wants more than to subs for you. I wants you to own me." Negative connotation surrounded that concept, hindering Skwisgaar in accepting such a truth for himself. On one hand, he possessed such a strong sense of self, one that he willed not be compromised or taken away. On the other, he trusted Toki to support that. Giving himself completely to another person didn't entail being locked away in the subterranean bowels of their grand home, after all. Toki wouldn't forego his sense of practicality, nor would his attentive and kind-hearted nature fly out the window with such control over a human being.

"That's a big thing to says." A grunt of effort landed Skwisgaar in Toki's lap. The Swede's thigh muscles relaxed by their own accord as the younger man slipped a hand between. "There are things we gots to consider. It still remain true thats we constantly in the public eye. We lives with other peoples, and I respects them all enough not to risk makings them uncomfortable. I hesitates to make anything we does the permanent way because we changes on what we needs and what we wants. We's tried that with not sleepings together, and we hads to force it to keeps that rule in place. Then we was happies to get rid of it."

Skwisgaar sighed. "Ja, you ams right."

"Hey, don'ts get down about it." Toki comforted him with a jostle. "It don'ts mean we can'ts do something like what you needs. There's a pretty bigs middle ground there. Whats you gots in mind?"

"I gots one t'ing what I never wrotes down on my list. Since we was doings t'ing more cashwalls back den, it wasn'ts exacklies possible. Whats would you t'ink about takings control of my orgasms?" Skwisgaar no longer invited others into his bed, but still possessed a choice over when and how he masturbated. Growing need for submission trumped even the compulsion toward release.

Judging by the grip further climbing Skwisgaar's inner thigh, Toki liked the idea. A teasing glint manifested in his eye. "You woulds give me complete controls over that?"

"Ja."

"No matters what? Evens if I didn'ts want you to cums at all?" The Norwegian's face lit up with a confirming nod. "Wells then. First order of business is thats you nots allowed to jack offs unless Toki gives to you permission. You cans ask whenever, but I makes the decision."

"Okays." With that in place, the tension in Skwisgaar's shoulders melted away. It appeased his curiosity regarding relinquishing all personal rights to the younger man in exchange for ownership. Considering his reservations toward prospective slavery, perhaps easing into it was a good idea. If he and Toki ever decided to sustain that shift, Skwisgaar needed to be absolutely sure he could handle it. Once that occurred, he could forget about safe words, the concept of 'no', and general lack of his own thoughts. Before Toki became the voice inside his head, they needed further experience with one another. Handing over his sexuality constituted a suitable test; if Skwisgaar could handle this, he could handle anything.

Toki pushed Skwisgaar's hair back over his shoulder and lowered his mouth to the paler neck. "Du er min lilla ting?"

An untucked shirt and hand freely roaming Skwisgaar's chest indicated so. "Mhm."

"I hopes you know," Toki murmured in his ear, "just because you aren'ts allowed to cum right now doesn't mean I gots to hold out."

"Whats you want me to do?" The prospect of giving himself up again eliminated the final strains of anxiety tugging at Skwisgaar.

"Takes you clothes off, for starters. I wants to look at you."

The Swede's feet chilled against the concrete floors, belt buckle clinking when it connected. A light spring breeze coming in through the cracked window sent goosebumps down Skwisgaar's back as a greedy gaze washed over him. No matter how regularly Toki saw him naked, their most recent agreement altered the atmosphere. Skwisgaar no longer possessed any of this, where sexual touch was concerned. While he regarded his ass and cock as Toki's even while expending them for his own pleasure, he now viewed those events as borrowed entertainment. How shameful, that he'd abused himself so easily over the years. He'd made his body sick, worn it out, and casually threw its worth away as he jumped into a pile of faceless women. Truly, he needed something like this much sooner in his life. He needed order, restraint, and guidance.

"You almost looks innocent, when you nakeds." Toki's shirt joined the pile of clothes beside his bookshelf. His roaming gaze—hectic as his imagination—already introduced a bulge in his jeans. "There isn'ts a thing about you body what I don'ts love, you knows. When I's alone I thinks about how tights you ass are or how goods you are with you mouths, but there's other things it do what drive me crazy. I loves how you spine move when I fuckings you from behind, how you holds onto me when you blows me. I woulds be lying if I say I didn'ts look at you sometime and feel deeps down that I do owns all of you."

Toki pulled Skwisgaar closer by his cock, eliciting a sharp pain and corresponding intake of breath. "Quit it. You body's mine, I does whatever I wants with it. Now apolgesize."

"I'm sorry." No stranger to abuse directed at that part of his body, Skwisgaar was merely caught by surprise. Throbbing ache contributed to his erection.

"Good boy. Come heres, and stay quiets."

Skwisgaar's nails bit into Toki's shoulders as he straddled his hips. The stress Toki implemented against his body birthed aches in his knees, although nothing compared to what came from a bite to his nipple. Friction between them aided a full feeling in rushing him along toward a tangible end; unfortunately, the Norwegian correctly interpreted his widespread tremble.

Toki slid his cock between Skwisgaar's cheeks and chuckled as the older man's thighs tensed. "Nice try. You asks for this, so behave."

Skwisgaar maintained the roll of his hips. "Don'ts mean you can'ts fuck me, does it?"

"You just wants a dick in your ass."

True; even without the option to cum, Skwisgaar wouldn't let his involuntary reactions taint Toki's experience. Rejoining their bodies called for extreme self-control. As the younger man got closer, nails bit into the Swede's hips and teeth clipped his bottom lip. Somehow, Toki kept enough of a head about the entire situation to realize he needed to pull out again to keep Skwisgaar from passing the point of no return. Every nerve tingled regardless, as Toki pushed the Swede's cheeks together around himself. Skwisgaar reached back to help, in order to make up for his teetering arousal.

"Gå raskere." Toki's stubby fingers pressed into flushed thighs.

While the blond wound up again with a fountain of profanity aimed at his ear, hot spurts of cum against the small of his back resulted in yet another edge. Aches in his legs accentuated his cringe as Toki teased him with a gentle grasp and light run of his thumb over the frenulum.

"You dids good," he said. "A part of me didn'ts think you'd be ables to hold off."

"Amn'ts my decision, is it?" Even this small amount of attention to Skwisgaar's aching core brought forth a sigh of relief. That ended short when Toki nudged his hip.

"Lays down. I decides if you gets to cum after I cleans up."

Here came the real challenge. After wiping down to avoid dirtying Toki's bed, the Swede folded his fingers together over his stomach and avoided the throbbing need weighing on his lower abdomen. How paradoxical, that being forced to wait only added to the excitement. When he relied solely on himself to stretch out this period of anticipation, the choice of relieving the ache cheapened all the effort toward reaching this point. The word chattel reemerged in his mind; with it came a twitch and resultant sigh.

Toki snatched his jeans off the floor and jumped back into them under the Swede's watchful gaze. Sitting cross-legged on the bed with his back to the wall, he opened Skwisgaar's legs to examine the unspent damage. "I still not sure if I goings to let you. I takes my time about it."

All Skwisgaar could do was nod. He rarely experienced the weird, prickly feeling between his legs, but knew immediately what it was.

"I wants you to tells me why you wants me to haves control over this, when you woulds obviously be jackings off right now if I didn't. It hurts, doesn'ts it?"

"Is wort' it, in de end."

Toki rested his palm over Skwisgaar's sack. "I still hasn't really figureds out why you likes to get hurt so much. I wouldn'ts has expect it from you before we starts doing this together. You never seems to like even beings uncomfortable. Always bitchings about this or that. . ."

"Is just good to gives up control, once in a whiles. I likes when I cans just floats away in my mind because I don'ts got to worry dat you goes too far."

"I still learnings you limits." To prove that, a slap resonated through Skwisgaar's already-aching balls. The sharp sound bouncing off the walls further jolted the blond. "Whatever it is you gots about this, you draggings me into it pretty easily."

By their own accord, Skwisgaar's hands slipped beneath his back. The mingled discomfort of tight, dry strokes, the squeeze and pinch of his most sensitive areas, and demeaning narrative made it incredibly difficult not to make a noise. Every time something escaped Skwisgaar's throat, Toki shushed him again. This shouldn't work. Pain should hurt—and it did—but a constant line of please please please streamed effortlessly through his mind. A flat-palmed slap cleared way for more-than-familiar alleviation.

Any semblance of conscientiousness lifted from Skwisgaar's mind. Here he laid on his back, a mere animal, his legs open to the whims of a less than kind creature. And he loved it. He wanted complete restraint on his movement, to lose his senses again. In the simultaneously forced and long-awaited orgasm, all he consisted of was a wash of euphoria. A lazy grin through rapid breath marked the newly quiet nature of his psyche.

"There's the man whats I know." Toki wriggled himself into the space between Skwisgaar and the wall. Propped up on an elbow, he watched the receding flush on the older man's chest. "Now tells me more about what it means for you to be hurts."

Before he had the chance to retreat beneath the blankets by his own volition, Toki already ushered him to shift this way and that. Pressing up against another body always did the trick. "Getting horts am just a powerfuls way to gives t'ing up. It ams overwhelming, and when you overwhelmed, you mind stop working in some ways. Is more abouts trusting someone dan anyt'ing. I don'ts walks around wanting peoples to punch me in de face. Real pain amn'ts on my list of t'ing to like."

"I gets what you say when you puts it like that, but I can'ts imagine liking being hurt."

"Ams okay, nots everyone do."

"I means it, Skwis. Is a hard, hard limits, for me. I don'ts need to try it to knows that."

Skwisgaar rubbed Toki's hip. "You nevers got to worry about it, den."

"I's almost curious, because you likes it so much, but it wouldn'ts be the same." Toki rested his lips against the Swede's damp brow. "And that's okay, right? Just because we does different thing when we fuck don'ts mean we gots to do everything?"

"We does only what we want. I makes dis clear: evens if I brings up doing t'ing you don't want, you shouldn'ts ever agrees to it just to makes me happy. I can'ts respeck you limit if you can't, because how I knows de difference?"

"Kinds of like when I tries out whipping you to see if I was okays with it?"

"Exacklies. No matter what I wanteds, you didn'ts want to does it, so it stop there until you becomes comfkable."

"I still gets a little nervous, sometime," Toki quietly admitted. "Evens though I know it's importants to you, and that you likes it. I comes back to the idea that I shouldn'ts be a person what likes to hurt you. Not when I cares about you."

"You has never gones too far wit' me. T'inks about de times what I calleds red. You stops, right?"

Toki nodded. "Ja, but I mean. . .you know whats I think about it beings relate to. Evens if it don'ts really hurt you, evens if I takes care of you and I givings you what you want. . .is this normal? Is it rights?"

Skwisgaar lifted his head to make eye contact. "People used to say t'ing like dis was a mental illness, now dey say it healt'y. In your case, it ams your decision. If it make you happy and relax, den it am good. If it don't, it am bad. You amn'ts just doing dis for me, ams you?"

"I likes it when it happening, and I feels good. I likes the power, and I likes how I takes care of you with it. Is cool, how much you trusts me. Is just when I thinks about it at time like this that I gets a little unsure."

"You understands it don't makes you a bad porson, rights?"

Another nod.

"De t'ing about being sadistic in somet'ing like dis is dat it amn'ts real sadism." The clumsiness in how Skwisgaar entwined his fingers through Toki's proved how often they did such a thing. "Does you ever really wants to hort me?"

"I used to, when you was a big fat jerk."

"Shore," Skwisgaar easily accepted, "but I means now. Would you hits me to make me scared?"

"No."

"I wants you to t'ink about it dis way: dere am people what hads a shitty time growings up, and dere am people whats like doing t'ing like we do. Dey amn'ts always de same people. Some people whats had a crappy childhood grow ups not having interest in BDSM, and some people wit' good childhoods grow up to like it. If dere am a correlation, it ams a weak one. You just happens to find youself here. While de t'ing what happen to us have influence on de porson we becomes, it don'ts determine everyt'ing for us. If you ams worried you repeats de abuse, dat am a good sign you amn't. People who repeats de abuse usually don'ts care enough to control it. All dey wants am to finds a porson or an animal or a kids or what has you dat dey can puts t'rough what dey hads. You don'ts really want to hort me. You saids it youself, you likes how it make me feels good, you likes how I trust you, you likes how we am close for it. How ams dat any different from what people who only has vanilla sex wants?"

"I guess it really isn'ts." Toki's brow smoothed out as he sighed. "I likes that you talk with me abouts this. I wants to be good for you, to makes you feel good, and that counts, right?"

"It means everyt'ing," Skwisgaar confirmed. "It ams all de difference."

Toki lightly kissed the bridge of Skwisgaar's nose. "But it's really okay, right? You aren'ts just telling me this so that I don't feels bad?"

"If I was in some kinds of danger and I lieds to get more of it, how woulds dat make sense? I don'ts really want you to hort me. If you ever hitteds me outside of dis, I woulds be pretty pissed."

"I don'ts ask because I thinks you're lying," Toki clarified. "I just likes how you make sense, how you always sound so smart."

"Is good you brings it up, if you amn'ts feeling a hundred porcents."

"How you feelings, anyway? Sore?"

"Not'ings I can't handle." A ghost of discomfort existed between Skwisgaar's legs, but the wash of relief alleviated it for the most part. "I t'inks I might hit de hays, though. I don't sleeps well on de Dethkopter, so I nots gonna get much rest tomorrow night."

Toki relinquished his grip, allowing the Swede to sit up on the edge of his bed and reach for his pants. The darkly lit room led Skwisgaar to believe he'd snatched up his own shirt. Even with the presence of sleeves, he pulled his hair through the collar and pat Toki on the knee. "Sees you tomorrow."