PROLOGUE

Master Chief has arose, and has to reach the bridge of the Pillar of Autumn, in order to help Captain Keyes. Here our story starts.

"Master Chief, Master CHief" cried a marine.

"What soldier." asked Master Chief.

"The fukin' bastard knifed me. The fukin elite knifed me. Oh my god he just shot the plasma rifle at me. Oh my fukin god! Im bleedin. O god help me plz!!!!" screamed the marine in agony.

"Is that all?" sighed Master Chief.

"WHAT THE FUK ARE U TALKIN ABOUT! IS THAT ALL?! IM DYING SLOWLY! What the, what are you doing?!"

"Hey grunt!" said the MC.

"Yes human?" replied a nearby grunt.

"Do you want to be a hero?" asked MC.

"Why yes" said the grunt, and then MC handed him a SMG, and the Grunt shot the marine in the head.

"Thank you" said MC.

"Your Welcome." said the grunt, and then an akward silence followed, and then MC kicked the grunt across the hall, and ran on.

"Marines! Rally to me!!!!" shouted the MC, and the Marines all followed him up to the entrance of the bridge. "Soldiers, this is our day. We must kill every covenant fucker on this ship. Alright men?" asked MC.

"Alright!"

"Now first, we drink heineken."

"but i want pepsi!" wailed a marine.

"shutup Johnson. HEhehehe. Johnson, what a funny, funny name. Anyways, Heineken's for men. pepsi's are for women. now as i was saying, before we enter th bridge, we are gonna party and then we throw the bottles at the enemy. Is that clear!"

"Sir, i need to go do the bathyroom." said the same marine.

"How ironic. Johnson, needs to go to the bathroom. GO SOLDIER. LEAVE MY SIGHT YOU PATHETIC...". MC's voice was interrupted when he heard someone cry. "SOMEONE'S CRYING! NOBODY CRIES ON THIS SHIP! IM GONNA KILL THAT WIMP. IT SOUNDS LIKE THE SOUND IS COMING FROM...THE BRIDGE!" screamed MC and he ran, and to his amazement, he saw Captain Keyes crying.

"MC! Help me. Save me please. Oh god, the covenant are gonna kill me."

"Stupid Commander whatever, just give me damn Cortana so i could rape her...ohhh did i say that out loud?" asked MC. The marines nodded yes. "Shut up. I meant i was gonna save her so giv me the damn disk."

"It's on my fukin bed." said Keyes.

"A BED! WITH BARNEY DESIGNS? YOU DISGUST ME KEYES" screamed MC, as he take a rocket launcher and shootsd it.

"Uh, MC."

"What soldier."

"You burned Cortana."

"FUCK NO. MY BITCH IS GONE! I said that out loud again right?" asked MC. the marines nodded yea. "Damn. Hey wait, what's that on the coffe table. Its a disk. Let me insert it into my skull." said MC

"Hello MC. Damn you found me. o well. I was looking foward to the afternoon entertainment." said Cortana, smiling out loud. Then she realized that the Marines heard her, and were staring at her. Tjhen she realized, she was nakid. "STUPID PERVERTED BASTARDS. NO ONE SEES ME NAKID, UNLESS YOU GIV ME MONEY. MC, KIK THEIR ASS." screamed tjhe nakid Cortana.

"Might i add that you look wonderful today." said MC, as he shot every marine.

"Thank you." said XCortana. Then they raced for a escape pod. "Hurry up MC. Here, let me motivate you," and then she started prancing around his eyes. "If you make it extra early, ill do something with you in the pod." said Cortana, and MC speedened up.

He ran past 2 drunk hunters who were kissing. "What the hell" thought MC, and he stole their Heineken, and ran the last steps to the escape pod. "Made it" said MC, and he drank the bottles and fell drunk, while the escape pod flew to Halo.

END CHAPTER Authors Notes-So, you've red the first chap, now read the second, unless its not published yet. R&r me. If i get at least 1, and a good comment, ill continue, where in the next one, Master Chief might enter a orgie. Who knows.