There were many times when Regina shuddered at the story of her childhood. To an outsider, she had everything, but that was nothing short of an illusion. After the age of fourteen and a half, Regina stopped talking to people in the same way she used to. The simplicity of not over sharing information about herself was something she was adamant on mastering.
Alcohol. From being fourteen years old, all Regina could want for was one drink, per day... One drink that would surely make her happier, lighter and any less who she was. Bombay sapphire and Diet Coke were known to be mixed, and taken to her school for that time when she really couldn't cope. That time came too often, that drink ran out too quickly.
Of course, Regina was never caught doing this, or anything else. Hence, she took liberties in her home, and her boarding house. When she had that drink, she had the world. She was grabbed by the intoxication, and no longer felt different.
That perfect life was twisted, but no one would ever understand why. Regina could never explain in depths why. Her parents, would sell her phone if she got bad grades or did something bad at school. Her father used to slap her butt, say how all the girls wanted him, and how he was feeling sexual. This was not in a perverted way, this was in a joking way, he would never hurt his darling Regina in anyway. But little did he know, that his unspoken about alcohol addiction already did that. His slobbish ways and way of talk when he had a drink hurt her. Every time he mimicked Regina, a pang of sadness went through the shorter brunette.
The liquor ran in Regina's family. Her uncle went to rehab. Her father had a drinking problem. Her grandfather died of a drinking and smoking problem. That was the problem with wannabe socialites, they didn't see what they were really doing anymore. Regina didn't know if she would turn out like her father, or her mother, who desperately wanted Regina to ignore the phenomenon of drinking, and live a sober life, too late.
A man. Regina must marry a man. A rich one, to improve hierarchy. But Regina didn't love men so much as she loved women. It was ghastly to her that she couldn't love men the same way she could love women. At fourteen, Regina had a sexual desire for men, and a romantic desire for women.
Of course, the drinking did have an undesirable effect upon Regina. A lit cigarette also cast its curse upon her. Her growth had stopped. Her legs were stumps, her body was of a pigs. Regina was the shortest girl in her year, at four foot eleven; a height which she was clearly destined to be forever. It was like a whip on her neck, knowing that no one would love her for this reason. Her dwarf height was horrible. So she took a walk on the wild side, and had another drink.
Liquor didn't burn her throat as often as she envisioned, as she was at school for half of the year, and didn't really come home all that often. Perhaps one night every half term, and for the holidays. Still, she spent more time at school than at home, and more time craving cognac chocolate and her own space. Oh god, she just wanted to be loved by an adult, and her dog. She just wanted to come home after school everyday to someone who actually cares for her, because they loved her, not because they were paid to. But instead, after school she went back to her boarding house, the sound of shouting and noise filling her ears- the other boarders were a crush of mass noise- her house mistress would only speak to her if she was in trouble, or if she wanted something from her. Her house mistresses both hated Regina and despite everything they knew about Regina, they didn't know about the drinking. They didn't know about the thoughts she had when sober. They didn't know about so much that went on in her head. Neither did her parents. Or her friends. No one knew about Regina's thoughts of murder.
She wanted to swallow the pills, cut herself, stab herself. Feel her body fall to the ground, her last vision being blurred. She wanted to stab her house mates, she wanted to shoot them all. Oh no, she really wished that they were all dead. She had the most vivid thoughts of these things, scared to tell anyone for fear of being expelled or sent away, sent away to somewhere further than her home.
This is the story of Regina Mills.
