Why was it so hard? Why was it so hard for Steve to tell Danny that he loved him? That he loved the rants, the way Danny's hands flailed, those ridiculously tight shirts and yes, even the ties. Every time Steve looked at him, he was overwhelmed with the love he felt the for blonde detective. Steve knew it went further than attraction, it was a like a deep rooted bond. They were best friends but Steve wanted more. He wanted to wake up everyday and roll over and see Danny laying there, the sun playing over his golden skin. Danny was more than just his best friend though, he was... Steve didn't even know how to explain it.
Everything Danny had done for him only made his love grow. Danny could have easily requested a transfer back to HPD a long time ago but he didn't. He could reported Steve to the governor so many times over but e didn't. Danny had believed him about Wo Fat killing the governor when no one else had. Danny had stayed in Hawaii, while his little girl, his life, went back to Jersey. He'd risked his life to come to Korea and rescue him, he'd helped keep the Yakuza off Steve when he brought Wo Fat in. Steve would never find someone as loyal, as loving as Danny. Steve couldn't have asked for a better partner, for a better best friend and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know why it was so hard for him to tell Danny. It would save him a lot of yelling from Danny asking why he constantly threw himself in front of bullets, why he insisted on taking the blame for everything. He had to tell him soon, Danny was the only thing he ever thought about, everything he did was for Danny, to look better in his eyes. If Danny didn't feel the same, well yeah it would hurt but atleast Steve wouldn't have to keep it a secret.
Steve picked up his phone and was about to text Danny and ask him to come over when he received a text from none other than... Danny.
DWilliams: Hey, mind if I come over? Got something to tell you. I'll bring the beers
SMcGarrert: Sure. Doors unlocked, I'll be on the deck.
Steve took a deep breath. Danny was coming over and after he said whatever he had to say, Steve would tell him. The door opened about 10 minutes later and Danny strolled out back with a 6 pack in his hand and a grin on his face.
"What are you do happy about?" Steve asked as Danny sat down and handed him a beer.
Danny popped the top on his beer, took a drink and grinned again, "I'm getting married"
Steve almost dropped his beer. He was what?! To Gabby?! , "You proposed to Gabby?"
"Yeah last night" Danny was still all grins and smiles and Steve could barely breathe, "I had a question to ask you."
Oh god no. Please don't ask me to be the best man, I don't know if I can, "Yeah go for it" Steve choked out, taking a drink of his beer to wet his dry mouth.
"You probably already know, but would you be my best man?" Danny asked, a hopeful look in his eyes and Steve just couldn't say no.
"Why wouldn't I?" Steve forced a smile and Danny grinned and they clinked their beers.
"Alright well the Tux fitting is this Saturday at 7" Danny said and handed him the address to the shop.
"This Saturday? That's really fast. Why so soon?" Steve asked. That was really soon. He didn't know if he could, if he could watch Danny marry Gabby and go home to her every night.
Danny shrugged, "Well why not? Why do we have to wait so long to get married? It's just going to be a simple beach wedding and honestly what is with you people and beach weddings, but anyways just simple tuxes and dresses and a few guests. Nothing big. We want it small and with family and friends"
Steve downed his beer and Danny looked at him with wide eyes, "Slow down there SuperSEAL. This isn't a bachelor party"
"I know. I'm just excited for you" Steve said and grabbed another beer. Please kill me now, someone, anyone, Steve begged silently.
Seeing as it wast a bachelor party they got a little more drunk thank necessary. After they'd finished the beers, they'd made their way inside where Steve's dad used to keep scotch in a cabinet and finished that off. Then some apple liquor that Mary had left last time she was there. Danny had crashed on his couch and Steve had stumbled his way upstairs. But he couldn't sleep. He'd tossed and turned for a couple hours before going downstairs to get some water as try and calm himself. He saw Danny passed out on the couch, his hair and clothes ruffled, his face relaxed in sleep. Steve sat on the coffee table, watching him sleep, the steady rise and fall of his chest. He didn't even know and now he was getting married. Steve figured now would be his only chance and Danny was asleep so he wouldn't remember anyways.
Steve leaned forward and ever so gently ghosted his lips over Danny's forehead, "I love you" he whispered so low he wasn't sure he himself heard it, but he did and it was done. Steve smiled sadly and quietly tiptoed back upstairs.
"Owww" Danny groaned as he woke up and sun was streaming through the sliding glass doors in Steve's living room.
Steve strolled through the doorway from the kitchen and set some aspirin and a glass of water on the table in front of him, "Hey Danno"
Danny gratefully took the 2 pills and downed the water, "Owww. Fucking booze. Never again"
Steve chuckled, "I know. I'm dying on the inside" in more ways than one.
"What did we do last night?" Danny grumbled as he sat up, rubbing his head.
"Drank. A lot" Steve answered him and received a glare, "We just drank and talked about the wedding."
"Right. The wedding... is ummm... In 2 weeks" Danny remembered that much.
"Well you better get home so Gabby doesn't worry. I'm surprised she hasn't called or anything looking for you yet" Steve said but in the back of his mind he was cursing Gabby. He forced himself to snap out of it, Gabby was kind, beautiful... yeah and apparently didn't care about Danny if she wasn't wondering where he's been all night. God damn it! Steve mentally slapped himself, Stop it! She loves him and he loves her.
"See you saturday yeah?" Danny asked as he got up and grabbed his keys.
"I'll be there" Steve promised. He sighed as he watched Danny drive off and then went back inside to nurse his hangover so that later tonight, he could get drunk and drown the pain again.
Danny drove home, his mind clouded. He remembered they drank a lot more than they should have last night and he passed out on Steve's couch.
There was something astray that he couldn't quite put his finger on, all he knew was that the whole night Steve had been giving him lingering looks and he just really hadn't been himself.
Danny stopped at a stop light and banged his head against the steering wheel, trying to remember what it was that he was missing. He banged his head against the wheel, not paying attention to the light until someone honked and then it hit him. Someone had kissed his forehead last night and said I love you. He grabbed his phone and looked at the screen. No messages or missed calls from Gabby, so it wasn't her. The only other person who'd been there was... Steve.
No, it couldn't have been Steve. Danny had given up on that a long time ago because Steve was like the most oblivious person in the world. Danny had been so in love with him. With the big, giant goofball of a SEAL, who'd made him and his daughter so happy. But Steve had never caught on and Gracie would always have Uncle Steve but now she would have a step mom too. Gabby was wonderful with her and Danny couldn't have asked for a better step mom for his little girl. All the small touches, the beers and games, all the cookouts... Danny sighed as he thought about it all. Steve hadn't the slightest clue, now it was too late. He was marrying Gabby and he wouldn't break her heart for something that might not even be between him and Steve.
Danny pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building and put the car in park, letting his forehead fall into the steering wheel again with a dull thud, "Fuck my life" He mumbled. Why did Steve have to do this now?
-
Saturday rolled around after an awkward work week. Steve had come in and he thought Danny didn't know but he did. Everytime he looked at Steve, a new wave of love almost knocked him over. And everytime he told himself to get over it because it was too late now. Danny was hoping that Saturday would put things in perspective, make him forget about Steve and remember the fantastic woman he was about to marry.
If anything though, the tux shop made it worse. Steve looked damn good in a tuxedo and Danny was drooling all over the plush carpet of the dressing room. Then when Steve turned a dazzling smile towards Danny, he couldn't help but grin back.
Steve did everything in his power to look cheerful when he went to the tux shop. He wasn't going to ruin this for Danny. Danny deserved to be happy and Steve wanted him to be happy. If he found happiness with Gabby then Steve couldn't fault him for that.
After the fittings were done, Steve shimmied back into his jeans and tshirt and waited for Danny to come out, "Congratulations brah. I'll see you tomorrow and next weekend at the ceremony" Steve went for a simple slap on the back but Danny pulled him into a hug and Steve fought the urge to melt into his embrace.
"Thanks Steve. I mean it" Danny said and let go.
Steve forced a smile through the pain and walked out to his truck, ready to climb inside and bang his head against the window. He turned on the radio, hoping the music would dull out the pain.
"Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be"
Ok, who was singing? Because honestly Steve would never listen to this chick. She sounded young and he could already tell it was about a relationship.
"She better hold him tight
give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes,
And know she's lucky cause..."
Steve pretty much punched the button, turning the radio off. Ok, that was a little too close for comfort. He ejected the CD and looked at it. Taylor Swift, definitely wasn't his CD. He looked at it and saw Grace's name written in sharpie. Right, Grace had ridden with him and Danny last weekend and she must have forgot her CD.
Whatever the reason that it was in his truck, on that song, on those exact words, it hit his thoughts and feelings spot on. He groaned and crammed his hands into his eyes to keep the tears that had been threatening to fall at bay. He should be happy for Danny, he should be happy that Danny was happy, that he'd finally found someone who loved him and Grace, Steve just wished it was himself.
-
"Danny... Are you ok?" Gabby asked as Danny sat at the table silently.
Danny looked at her as if noticing her for the first time, "Yeah, sweetheart. I'm fine"
"Are you sure? You've been like this all night" Gabby asked, a worried look in her eyes.
Danny nodded again, reaching across to squeeze her hand, "I'm fine, honestly. Just a lot on my plate with everything coming up."
Gabby smiled, "I know. But in a couple days, we'll be married and ready to spend our life together"
"Yeah. I can't wait" Danny mumbled, quickly finishing dinner and going to shower. He let the hot water run over his back as he stood there. He loved Gabby, Grace loved Gabby, Gabby loved them. So why was he having second thoughts? The answer immediately formed in the shape of a 6 ft. tall, tan, Navy SEAL with a goofy grin and dark hair. Danny punched the tile wall, his hand throbbed in pain and he cursed as blood streamed over his knuckles. Fuck. He'd thought he was over this. He loved Steve, would always love Steve but was there a future for them? There was a beautiful, loving woman sitting out there, ready to marry him and Danny was thinking about his partner, his best friend, his Steve.
Danny pulled himself together and got out, wiping the moisture from his face, not sure if it was all water or some of it tears.
-
The day of the wedding
Steve hit his alarm as it went off and got out of bed. His eyes were bloodshot from not sleeping and he was dragging himself along. Today, Danny was getting married. The love of his life was getting married and Steve was taking part in the ceremony. He hated himself for it too. He didn't want to go through with this but he had too for Danny. He dug his suit out f the closet and put it on, dragging himself out to the beach to watch the sunrise and maybe clear his head.
"Danno?" Grace asked as she looked at him.
"Yes my beautiful monkey" Danny replied, looking at her flower girl dress and braided hair.
Grace looked him and took his hand, "Do you really want to marry ? Cause it's ok if you don't"
Danny was dumbfounded for a minute before he answered, "Of course I do! I love Gabby, don't you?" Grace nodded, "Why would you think I don't want to marry her?"
"Well she's makes you happy but not like Uncle Steve" Grace stated, toying with the flower in her hair, "You have fun with Gabby but not like with Uncle Steve. With him you laugh, smile, yell, and hit him. You say he's crazy, but you still call him babe and SuperSEAL."
"Gracie, honey, Uncle Steve is my best friend. That's what best friends do. And I call everyone babe. I call Auntie Kono and Uncle Chin babe all the time. SuperSEAL is just a name for Uncle Steve, just like Monkey for you" Danny said, picking Grace up and setting her on the bed in the hotel room.
"Yeah but you also let him call you Danno" Grace said, as Danny straightened out her dress.
Danny knew his daughter was smart but this was unbelievable, "Yeah and?"
Grace just looked at him, all exasperated like he was a burden "Well you only let people you love call you Danno"
Danny froze completely. It him like a fucking Mac truck. Gracie, his beautiful, perfect, smart little girl knew what he needed even more than himself. It was true, only Steve and Grace called him Danno and those were the only two people, Danny had ever truly loved, "Gracie, how come you're so smart?"
"Cause I'm your little girl" Grace smiled, complimenting herself and kissing Danny on the cheek.
"Yes you are. I love you Monkey. " Danny said, picking her up and swinging her around in a hug.
"You gonna go find Uncle Steve?" Grace asked when he stopped spinning them.
"Yes. Yes I am Gracie" Danny kissed her cheek and ran out of the room down the hall, "Chin! Chin Ho Kelly!"
Chin came out of a room with Malia, "What? What's going on brah?!"
"I need you to watch Grace for me. Please, I have to go find Gabby" Danny said, his words rushed as he handed Grace over to Malia.
"Is everything ok Danny?" Chin asked, noting the smile on his face.
Danny smiled at him, "Yeah but I think
I'm making a big mistake. I'll be back later!"
Chin and Malia watched Danny run off in search of Gabby, when Grace piped up, "He'a going to find Uncle Steve because he loves him"
Malia raised a questioning eyebrow and looked at her husband, "Steve?"
Chin laughed, "Yeah. Me and Kono were a little scared but we weren't going to say anything in case Danny really did go through with the marriage"
"Oh well I guess we should be grateful then. Steve won't be moping like you said anymore and Danny will actually be happy" Malia said and turned to Grace, "What do you think honey?"
"I like but I love Uncle Steve and daddy does too" Grace grinned when Chin and Malia smiled at her.
-
"Gabby?" Danny knocked on her room door.
"Danny? You know you're not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony?" Gabby said as she zipped up her dress.
Danny knocked again, "Gabby! This is really important. I need to talk to you right now"
The door swung open and Gabby stood there in her dress, "What is it Danny? Is everything ok?"
"No. God, Gabby, you look beautiful" Danny already felt terrible about doing this, "Gabby, I'm sorry but I can't do this. I can't marry you."
"Danny... What are you talking about?" Gabby asked, there was no surprise or shock or even hurt on her face. In fact, if anything it was understanding written across her face.
"I can't marry you, Gabby. I'm sorry but I can't. I love Steve. I have for awhile now, but it just didn't seem like he knew. If he does though, I have to atleast see if there's a chance." Danny explained, and Gabby took
his hand and squeezed it.
"It's ok Danny, I get it. I kind of always knew and the other night at dinner, you seemed kind of withdrawn and that night you spent the night at his house... Well I just kind of figured that you'd finally realized it" Gabby smiled and let go of his hand, "It's ok, go. I'll take care of everyone"
Danny kissed her cheek "I'm sorry Gabby, you deserve so much more than this. You're going to make someone happy, you're beautiful, and sweet and smart and caring but I love Steve, I always will" Danny smiled at her again and ran out of the room down to the hotel lobby and out to the car.
The wedding wasn't scheduled for another hour and a half so hopefully Steve hadn't left his house yet. Danny screeched to a halt in his driveway and yanked the key out if the ignition, running inside, "Steve?! Steve, where are you?!"
Danny ran upstairs and Steve was nowhere to be found, Danny looked out the window and saw Steve standing on the beach in his suit. He ran downstairs and threw open the sliding glass door, running down shore towards Steve.
Steve heard the door open and turned around, and saw Danny running down towards him, "Danny?" Steve didn't say anything further because Danny launched himself at Steve, and they fell to the sand, Danny straddling Steve's thighs, "Danny, what are doing here?!"
"Steve McGarrett, I love you. I love you so much it fucking hurts sometimes. I couldn't marry Gabby, knowing that the man I love would
be with me at work and lives 10 minutes away. You are fucking crazy, you get me shot at everyday-" Danny was cut off as Steve scoffed.
"When was the last time you got shot at?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.
Danny glared at him, "Are you fucking kidding me right now? Seriously?! I'm pouring out my heart here and you're going to interrupt to ask when the last time you did something stupid was?!"
"I didn't ask that!" Steve retorted, "I asked when the last time you got shot was!"
"Its the same thing! Whenever you do something stupid, I tend to get shot at, there's a connection! Now shut up and let me finish!" Danny demanded, clamping a hand over Steve's mouth when he opened it to talk again, "You blow stuff up on a regular basis, you keep explosives in my car, you have brainwashed my little girl into loving you and you talk shit about my clothes and apartment daily. I don't why I love you but I do. I am stupidly, hopelessly, unquestionably in love with you."
Danny removed his hand from Steve's mouth and Steve smile smugly, "Can I talk now?"
"Please" Danny replied, desperate to hear if Steve felt the same.
Steve grinned and flipped them so Danny was laying in the sand, Steve straddling him, "Guess now would be a good time to say that I am hopelessly, unquestionably, stupidly in love with you too"
"You got the order wrong" Danny grinned when Steve rolled his eyes but leaned down to kiss him anyways.
-
"Bye guys!" Steve and Danny waved bye as Chin, Malia, Kono and the rest of their friends and family left. Steve turned to Danny and pulled him, circling his arms around the blonde mans waist, "So my gorgeous new husband, what should we do now?"
"Get started on the honeymoon?" Danny suggested, his hands coming up to wrap around Steve's neck, pulling him down for a kiss.
That night as they lay in bed, for some reason that song came back to Steve.
She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause...
Steve smiled. He would hold Danny tight, every day and night. Danny would get all his love and more. And he would look in Danny's beautiful blue eyes and count his blessings because he was lucky. Lucky to have Danny.
