MY SIDE
By SANDEFUR
Occurs shortly after "Spring Cleaning"
Disclaimer: JoA belongs to Barbara Hall/CBS/etc;
"So in the end, she brought back her stuff and exchanged it for all the stuff I had given her. I think it means she at least wants to salvage our friendship out of this mess."
"That sounds kind and generous of her."
"Of course, that's the way Jane, I mean JOAN, is like."
"I remember. Even though it has been a long time since I've seen her, I always think of Joan as kind."
"The problem is, I don't want to be friends! I love her so much, it breaks my heart every time I see her—especially since I feel so guilty and ashamed. God, how I want her back…" Adam's words choke off as he tries to control his emotions.
"You cheated on the girl you loved because she wouldn't have sex with you. You're lucky she wants to be friends instead of taking a baseball bat to your head."
"Everyone thinks that, except Grace, who is trying to remain neutral. Not even for a second has anyone considered my side."
"Do you have a side? Other than being so sex-starved you lost control."
"It's not that simple. Only Joan and I know the whole truth. Problem is, she's so mad she doesn't remember what she did to me."
"Oh, I have to hear this. You're saying Joan did something to provoke your behavior?"
"Yes, it wasn't JUST about sex, because I had plenty of offers before Bonnie came along."
"You? I remember you having the reputation of being a stoner/loser that no girl would touch."
"That was before Joan. When I won the art show, started dating Iris and then Joan, my reputation changed to one of Sensitive Artist. Girls started throwing themselves at me, but I was never tempted."
"Because you loved Joan. So what happened?"
"You remember me telling you about the concert in Huntington?'
"The one where you spent the night in the camper shell because it was too late to drive home?"
"Yeah, that was such bull. Three hours to drive 100 miles on an interstate? My grandfather doesn't drive that slow. No wonder my Dad and Joan's parents wouldn't let us go. They realized the trip was really about sex. I knew it and I was certain Joan did too."
"I'm sure she was smart enough to have figured it out. Still, a girl has the right to change her mind."
"I know, but it was more than just the pain of being rejected. You know what that's like…" (Adam's friend nods.) "Well it's a thousand times worse when you're in love. Even so, I could have dealt with that if it wasn't for how it happened. We were in the back of Dad's truck, making-out more than we ever had before. Damn, I was so ready, but Joan just wasn't in to it… no matter what I did."
"Ah, the light dawns. This is about the male ego."
"It was going to be my first time too! I was a guy in love who wanted to make love to the girl he adored, but when I couldn't arouse her, I assumed it was all my fault. That I was a lousy lover."
"That must have gnawed at you."
"It obsessed me! I couldn't stop thinking about it. What did I do wrong? What was the matter with me? It got so bad, I was too nervous to spend time alone with Joan. What if I could never arouse her? What if every girl found me a dud in bed? The thought just wouldn't go away. I had to know, and when Bonnie indicated she was interested…"
"You couldn't resist. Okay, as a guy I can understand, but trying to get a betrayed girl to get it…"
"Is impossible. I guess all I can do is try to be her friend, and hope in time… Well, enough about me. How are you doing?"
Steve Ramsey shrugs. "Nothing much changes in a juvee-psych facility. Just the usual of therapy, medication and studying for my G.E.D. Your monthly visits are the highlight of my schedule."
"We did start out as friends."
"And now that my anger is under control, I remember that. Thanks for not forgetting me, buddy. B.F.F.?"
"Unchallenged."
The End
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