watch the queen conquer

PART ONE

DEATH, RESURRECTION, THE MAIDEN AND A KNIFE

prologue

renewal

bonnie bennett

I'm dead.

Those two words have already sunk into my bones. Big fucking deal. I've died before; hell I've died four times before. But this time feel permanent. I know why it feels permanent. It feels like this because instead of actually fucking dying physically, I've died emotionally. Instead of there being another bright light, there's a churning in your stomach like you've tied your stomach up in knots and nothing can settle it. I feel like cold dread has spread through my heart and there is no way to stop it. Not until my chest is heaving and I'm hunched over on a porch and crying out into the empty night.

They lied.

He lied.

They weren't coming back.

No one was coming back for sad little martyr Bonnie Bennett. She was left alone.

She was meant to die.

She was meant to be alone, crying her eyes out on the porch of her childhood friend who had filled her with so much false hope. She was meant to die and never be mourned. She was meant to take the knife crazy man Kai Parker had stabbed her with and used her blood to escape. She was meant to be powerless for the up-tenth time.

"She was meant to lose her fucking mind." I whispered the words. I had to be losing it if I was referring to myself in the third person. Jesus Christ Bonnie, get a fucking hold of yourself.

I cry until the shaking stops, until the hiccups, deep breathes and tears stop. There's nothing left now. Nothing left but bitterness and then nothing at all. I can't go back to them. They won't come.

I can't die. Technically I'm immortal.

And I'm sure Death is laughing in my face.

"Actually darling, I'm not laughing at you." I turn my head to the left. A man is sitting on the swing, dressed in a suit, maybe in his forties. He looks at me with beady dark eyes and I wonder if he has come to take me away. He arose from the seat and walked towards me. "You look terrible my dear. Of course," he paused and knelt before me, curling his fingers under my chin. "That is becoming of one on the verge of madness."

"Are you here to take away?" I asked.

"Yes," he says and helps me to my feet. "But not to death."

I blink. What?

"You still have a purpose, little darling? You will become great. A force to be feared." Death tells me and cups my cheeks. "Do you wish to live again?"

I blink. "What purpose would I have?" I asked.

He tells me nothing. Instead the old man tilts my head up towards his and presses his lips to mine. Death's Kiss isn't what I expected it to be. Instead of feeling cold, I feel warm. I feel like air being breathed back into my lungs and I find my fingers grip his hands and try to pull away. I don't want to live.

I want to die.

I want my Grams.

I want to be free.

When it feels like my lungs are about to pop, he pulls away and I feel light headed before my eyes roll back. Death's last words ringing in my ear.

"The Martyr falls and the Queen rises anew; a Maiden bathed in crimson with eyes the color of viridian."