Sheldon Swifties LXVI: "The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr VII: The Revenge of the Swift…"
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
Cue canned music…
Slightly shaky black and white video opens on scene of Sheldon and Amy in white lab coats standing in Sheldon and Leonard's living room…
"Greetings, young scientists-to-be and their dull-witted sibling followers and hangers-on…And welcome once again to the Adventures…Adventures…Adventures… of Professor Proton…Junior…" Sheldon notes, pointing to whiteboard behind him on which is written… "The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr."
"I hope you're ready to share in this week's Odyssey…odyssey…odyssey… with me…This one another rather special adventure as we continue to devastatingly humiliate that fraud of science, namely the so-called 'inventor', Tom Swift, Jr. who recently dared insult the memory of our dear Professor Proton, my spirit father…And despite our recent devastatingly humiliating reply to his insulting video farce, continues his misadventures on You Tube. So…" Sheldon places large cue card, all in caps, in expanding lines, Star Wars style, on the whiteboard's frame. "For those who may have missed our last episode…"
"LAST TIME AS YOU RECALL, WE LEFT PROFESSOR PROTON, JR. AND HIS SIDEKICK…"
("Cut! Sheldon? Really?!" Amy fumed. "Sidekick? I'm your sidekick?"
"I can't say premarital fornication partner on a show intended for children under 15…" Sheldon noted.
"What?" Penny stared as Amy considered…
Weil…I suppose… "I guess you have a point, but…"
"WHAT?!" Penny gasped…)
Scene one, take two…
"For those who may have missed our last episode, wonderfully sending up that perpetually teenaged fraud, Tom Swift, Jr…." Places large cue card, all in caps, in expanding lines, Star Wars style, on whiteboard frame.
"LAST TIME, AS YOU RECALL, WE LEFT PROFESSOR PROTON, JR. AND HIS FRIEND WITH BENEFITS…"
Amy in lab coat, coming over to him, beaming and waving…
("What?!...Cut!" Penny cried.)
Scene one, take Three…
Grim looking Sheldon in lab coat…
"For those who may have missed our last episode, wonderfully sending up that perpetually teenaged fraud, Tom Swift, Jr…." Places large cue card, all in caps, in expanding lines, Star Wars style, on whiteboard frame.
"LAST TIME, AS YOU RECALL, WE LEFT PROFESSOR PROTON, JR. AND HIS LADYFRIEND, DR. AMY…"
Amy, frowing…Still a bit miffed at Cameragirl Penny…
(Come on, these are science-oriented kids, what's the big deal? And sex sells…
Penny sighing from behind the camera…
God, to think this may be all I'm ever remembered for artistically, maybe besides helping my kids with school arts projects and plays.
Well…All I can say is, with Leonard and the boys to back us up, they're gonna be kick ass arts projects and incredibly special effecty plays, smiling to herself.)
"…AS THEY FACED THE UNWARRANTED AND CHILDISH SO-CALLED 'WRATH' OF SCIENTIFIC FRAUD TOM SWIFT, JR…
…WHOSE EFFORTS TO STEAL FROM THE GENIUS OF PROFESSOR PROTON, SR, HAD ENDED IN HUMILIATING CHASTISEMENT…"
"I can feel the goosebumps already, Professor P, Jr." Dr. Amy noted, rather eagerly. "I wonder what fiendish revenge that no-account low-down fraud will try to enact?"
"All we can know, Dr. Amy, my ladyfriend and science buddy…"
Beaming smile from Dr. Amy…
"…Is it will have little to do with valid science…"
"You're right there, Prof P., Jr." she nodded. Both looking in the camera's direction…
("Nnnnht…" Penny hissed at the figure watching behind her…Stuart Bloom in blonde wig and striped t-shirt. "You're on, Tom." She tugged at him.
"Oh…Sorry, I was so caught up in the story…" Stuart, sighing at Dr. Amy in her lab coat.
Penny, catching look…
Really? Amy? You dated me a couple of times…
Oh, God…Tell me I am not jealous of Stuart Bloom…
On the other hand, Leonard's idea of Stuart as Tom Swift to irk Howard was kinda brilliant…Given there's a real generation of sexual tension on the set here…She eyed Sheldon's frown at Stuart's eyeing of Amy.
You lil' minx, you, Dr. A…She eyed Amy.)
"Ah…Ha…" Stuart moved out in front of the camera…
"Oh, my…Professor P, Jr. It's him. The fraudulent so-called 'inventor' from cheap non-science fantasy…" Dr. Amy gasped. "Tom Swift, Jr."
"Ah…Ha…Hah…If it isn't…Professor Proton's illegitimate son…" Stuart began.
("Cut!" Penny groaned. "Sheldon? Leonard did not write that either…"
"Well, you said not to use 'bastard'." Sheldon shrugged.)
