Sam Winchester sighed and stared at himself in the mirror, examining the cuts and bruises on his arms, then took of his t shirt. More gashes were on his chest and stomach, a souvenir of the latest demon they'd fought with.

He sighed again, his shoulders sagging. Dean was out, goodness knows where. Probably out drinking and chatting up more females.

Twisting his back around, he inspected the damage. Fortunately, there were only a few scrapes and bruises.

He poured some water onto a cloth and got to work, cleaning his wounds. As he treated himself, his mind wandered.

Sam thought of Ruby. God, he did miss her, even though she did encourage him to start the apocalypse and get him addicted to demon blood and everything. It's just...she made him feel-alive. More alive than he had been since Jess' death.

And the sex-well, nobody could deny that was awesome. She made him feel something once more, something close to-well, close to love.

Of course, he could never confide in Dean. He'd look at him like he was crazy and lock him up in that cell again. He could never really tell someone how he felt, and now how lonely the nights were without her.

Sam stared at his reflection in the mirror, wondering if everyone he loved would leave him.