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Chapter 1: A fateful day
Everything was as usual. Yuki opened his eyes and groaned. He could hear that pink haired baka from the kitchen singing loudly along with Ryuichi from his favorite Nittle Grasper CD. He turned around hiding his head beneath his pillow trying to go back to sleep.
But luck wasn't with him today as he heard Shuichi bouncing into the bedroom.
Good morning, Yuki!" came the cheerful greeting of his young lover.
He just sighted and tried to blend out the now erupted happy chatter somewhere next to his head. "Oh no - not this early in the morning..." Yuki groaned into his pillow shifting in his bed to try to get farther away from the annoying chatter. But to no avail...
Yuki!!!!" screeched the younger man, I made a nice breakfast for you. Aren't you gonna get up? It's all your favorite things. Pleeeeeeease!!!! I have to leave for work in a couple of minutes. Won't you at least try the blueberry pancakes?? They're extra yummy today. And I also made French toast and..."
He continued to count all the things he made especially for his most favorite person in the world as suddenly he found himself starring into two blazing amber eyes.
"Would you stop that now?" Yuki almost yelled at a very startled Shuichi.
"But but but...." Shuichi started sputtering.
"No buts this time. Why can't you be quiet at least for five minutes? I never said I wanted to have any breakfast, I just wanted to sleep. Today I have to finish a very important chapter and all what you do is disturbing me all the time. I would be far better off without you. At least I could work in peace then and I wouldn't have to put up with your annoying chatter all the time."
At this point Yuki had to stop his ranting for breathing and for the first time he registered the look on Shuichis face.
The smile was gone. Wide blue eyes, the mouth slightly open, Shuichi starred at him in shock.
Slowly Yuukis painful words fully reached his brain and began to sink in.
'Yuki, so you really mean it this time? I'm just a lousy nuisance to you? Always in your way? That's what you mean, right?' he sadly thought and a twisted thought came to his mind that those words were the most Yuuki ever spoke to him. A poor statement for their relationship. If you even could call it like that. He now realized that whatever they had or at least what he thought they had was made up by him. Just an illusion to hide from the hard reality which was that
Yuuki didn't need him, didn't want him, didn't love him and that's it.
He understood now and he wouldn't be in his way anymore.
Yuuki watched the reactions on his lovers face. One funny thing was that Shuichis face always displayed his emotions and what he saw gave him a bad feeling in his gut. First there was nothing just his frozen beautiful face with his wide blue eyes which starred at him disbelievingly. Then they clouded over and he could see how a mix of emotions washed over his face: surprise, hurt, confusion and pain, utter pain caused by him - Yuuki Eiri.
His heart twisted as he saw his younger lovers pained expression and he wanted to make it go away so badly. He reached out as to touch Shuichis cheek as something caught his eye - the cold determination in Shuichis eyes which made his blood run cold in his vains.
His hand dropped to his side.
Confusion taking over his brain as he tried to understand what just happened to Shuichi. 'His body is all tensed up - I can feel it.'
Mere inches apart Yuuki tried to catch Shuichis look but the pinkhaired man just starred right through him.
'Shit. I think I did it this time. Looks like I crossed the line.'
The thought raced through Yuuki's mind as his young lover stood up from their bed looking at him but still not really seeing him at all. Panicking he crawled over to Shuichi trying to grab his hand but stopped as a smile crept over his lovers face. But it wasn't his smile the one which was only reserved for him. It was only a plastered fake smile which didn't reach the young man's dull eyes which seemed to have lost its sparkling glow within those few minutes.
And there he stood with that horrible smile on his face smiling down at him.
And time stopped - as Shuichi's eyes looked right through him.
Suddenly his expression changed and his usually cheerful self was back once again. And in a matter of seconds he started babbling about he's gonna be late for work now and he really has to hurry now and with that he bounced out of the door.
A loud bang and Shuichi was gone.
For a few seconds Yuuki just starred dumbfounded at the spot where Shuichi just stood. Then the anger started to creep back up.
'Just what the fuck is going on. What's with all this weird attitude? I'm feeling bad here and he just sweeps back as if nothing happened and I already thought he'd gone nuts with that weird expression on his face.'
At the memory he shuddered and fixed his thoughts back on the rushed exit of his lover.
"Well maybe that was a good lesson to him and understood now that what I need is silence and not his constant chatter."
As speaking the words they sounded empty and halfhearted. He shook his head a slight grin touched his mouth.
"Who am I kidding? I'm so addicted to that spunky whirlwind by now how can I pretend to be better off without him?"
Groaning he flipped his legs out off bed and padded over to his office where he lit a cigarette and switched on his laptop. His thoughts returned once again to Shuichi. A sigh escaped his lips.
'Why am I doing this? Why do I let him stay with me? Do I really love him? Am I actually capable of loving somebody? I can't even love myself.'
Yuuki crushed the remaining's of his cigarette in the litter, just to lit another one.
'All he ever does is annoy me with his chatter, disturbing me in my work and ..... he reminds me of what I lost.
Maybe it would be better if he wouldn't come back this time. Although there would be no chance of Shuichi not appearing at his doorstep after work. They would have dinner together, that pinkhaired baka would tell him about his tour coming up and then it was time to go to bed. Yeah, that was definitively a good idea. They always ended up making up like this.'
A smile quickly lit up Yuuki Eiris features as he thought of his beautiful lover. 'Yep, it's definitively worth it to keep Shuichi around.'
With that thought he turned his attention now to his laptop starting to type away the last chapter of his new book.
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Hi guys, I'd really appreciate it if you'd write me some critism - good or bad - I don't care.
I never actually wrote something down although I make up stories quite often.
I'm also new to the fanfiction writing. (I really enjoy reading all those great stories out there.) So I decided to try it out myself. ^_^
