A slightly more realistic look on how things should have gone for our lovable hero Tsukune.

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As Tsukune stepped off the bus, he instantly got the willies.

"Oh god, I've got the willies!" He exclaimed to the heavens.

In front of him was the cause of his willies; a dead forest.

Really, that was it.

Tsukune was such a pansy.

Anyways, Tsukune tried to convince the bus driver to take him back home, but the cigar-toting badass was all like "Fuck you nigga" and drove off, leaving Tsukune-kuuuuuuuuuuun all to himself.

So as he started walking towards the forest, a hundred sirens blared at once.

These lovely sirens alerted a demon fox, a spider girl, a demon king who was an exorcist for some unknowable reason, a sorcerer with a pervy eye in the middle of him damn head, a shinso warlord who totally wears a bow better than you any day of the week, 4 other vampires, a succubus, a witch or two, a snow woman, another pervy eye man who is kind of badass because he shoots pandas at fools, and a huge fucking tentacle dragon.

These pimp-ass mofos materialized dead in front of Tsukune, who was in the process of shitting his britches.

He screamed, "OH SHI-'" before getting slapped by a pimp hand made of fire, web, muscle, dimension swords, red lace bows, vampire blood, bat hammers, shotguns that shoot blood (LOL WUT), even more dimensional swords, flying boobs, huge snow balls, derpy-looking pandas, and hentai in general.

Needless to say, he was obliterated.

Everyone celebrated while yelling, "AT LEAST THE STORY CAN END AWESOME THIS WAY! OTHERWISE, EVERYONE WOULD HAVE BEEN ABUSED FOR A RUSHED ENDING!"

The world was a better place.

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Dear Ikeda: Please, for the love of god, don't screw us over with a horribly-rushed ending. We deserve better.

Sincerely, Everyone.