"So, what's up with you and Lindsay?" Flack asked as he and Danny stood outside the crime lab. Flack took a sip of his coffee while Danny took a drag of his cigarette and shook his head.
"Dunno," Danny said as he nodded at the two young girls who walked by he and Flack, who were gazing at them rather appreciatively, he shook his head when he heard them giggle.
"Is it over or are you like still together?" Flack asked his eyes focused on the street watching the cars go by.
"Somewhere in between." Danny replied stomping his cigarette in the concrete.
"I thought you quit, after that whole Giants Stadium thing." Flack said looking over at Danny curiously.
"I did." Danny said as he leaned back against the building, staring across the street. Flack followed his gaze and laughed. "What?"
"Nothing." Flack said as he finished his coffee and watched the two women cross the street. "You sure you're okay with this?" he asked at he watched the girls get caught up at the crosswalk.
"Why wouldn't I be?" Danny asked straightening his tie, not removing his gaze from the girls.
"I dunno maybe because-." Flack was cut off the girls approaching thankfully because he was starting to get really frustrated with Danny and his short answers.
"Hey guys." Jess said as she looked Flack up and down with a smirk. "You match."
"Thanks?" Flack shot back with a smirk of his own. They both stopped and looked over at Danny and Lindsay who were standing awkwardly in front of each other. "Hey Linds."
"Hey Flack." Lindsay laughed nervously as she smoothed her dress, a nervous habit. "Good to see a tie that actually matches."
"Danny helped." Flack said and nodded his head towards his friend that hadn't spoken to either one of the girls.
"So it was luck." Jess said as she nudged Flack laughing.
"Shut up." Flack said nudging her back. "Wanna get a cab?"
"Yeah." Lindsay said as she watched Flack step towards the street and hail them a cab and Jess following him, giving her and Danny a little privacy. She swallowed hard and did her best not to let Danny's nearness affect her.
"I won't bite you." Danny said as he stood straight, never taking his eyes off her, knowing that was affecting her. Lindsay's eyes went straight to him, not expecting him to talk, but she gave him a sad smile any way.
"You guys coming?" Flack asked standing next to a cab with the door open.
"We'll catch up." Danny said as Flack nodded and left. He watched as Lindsay closed her eyes and sighed. She was hurt, he knew that. She refused to let other people see her weak, he knew that. She blamed herself, he knew that. She would down play their relationship to something meaningless because she thought it would hurt less, he knew that. "Lindsay, look at me." He said as he watched her eyes follow Flack's cab, willing it to come back and save her from this conversation.
"Danny, we don't need to do this again." She said as she finally brought her eyes to meet his. They were no longer that clear sparkling blue that she loved, but a broken and dull gray. She looked him over, noting that he had finally cut the rat's nest from the top of his head, and that his tie matched her dress, most likely thanks to Jess. "Please."
"Fine." Danny said frustrated and walked towards the street to get a cab with a huff, and that set Lindsay off.
"No!" Lindsay yelled at him, scaring the old man that had just walked by her. "Sorry." She said to the man when he looked back, then she turned her attention back to Danny, who was looking at her confused. "You don't get to be like this, you…you don't get to act like I'm the one who threw you out like the rest of your trash." Danny nodded and moved back towards Lindsay. "You know what? Never mind, just get a cab."
"No, Lindsay," Danny said as he stood in front of her as she walked backwards until her back hit the wall. "Let it out, yell at me, hit me, kick me."
"Danny stop." Lindsay pleaded as he stepped closer to her again.
"No, I won't stop, I told you I had been with someone else, and all you did was nod." Danny said his voice getting louder by the syllable. "All you did was nod your fucking head."
"What did you except? Me to be surprised?" Lindsay yelled back at him, her eyes now tearing. "We never committed to any thing, Danny. So it's not even my business, and I don't want to know! I don't want to know how many there were, I don't want to know how many times, I don't want to know when, I don't want to know where. All I want to know Danny is if you have anything, if you've been tested recently." Danny clenched his jaw frustrated and hurt, he took a step closer, getting as close as possible before he was standing on her toes. "Danny." She pleaded as she took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check.
"You, Lindsay Monroe, Montana," He whispered his voice full of emotion as his eyes locked with hers. "Are the only woman I ever committed myself to, and I got in a bad way, pushed you away, and fucked it up. Most defiantly one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I'm sorry, I know it doesn't help or make things better."
"Danny please, just let it go, just let me go." She pleaded as his eyes searched hers.
"Not until you know this, and believe it." Danny whispered leaning his forehead against hers. "You are the only woman I've ever made love to. Sex doesn't matter any more after experiencing what we have together, it's just physical. I don't want that, it was just, I don't even know what it was, a mistake, but it made us feel better."
"Danny." She tried to stop him and tried to move out of his way as she started to let tears falls.
"Lindsay please, listen." He begged as he brought her back in front of him. "I still have problems, a lot, and not all of them involve you, most of them don't involve you, actually. Just believe or know that I committed to you, I am committed to you, to us, to fixing us. "
"You're rambling." She giggled at she wiped a tear away.
"I want us, I really do, I know you need time, I need time. I know I don't deserve another chance, I didn't even deserve a first." Danny said as he wiped another tear away.
"Don't do that Danny. Don't degrade yourself, you're a good guy." She whispered, kissing his nose, knowing he hated it cause it made him feel girly. She laughed when he scrunched his nose.
"A good guy doesn't cheat." Danny told her. "Especially on a girl he chased more then half way across the country, and spent two years flirting with." He said as he paused and thought of what to say next. "If this thing with Ruben never happened, where do you think we'd be right now? Do you honestly believe that you are just another girl?"
"I want to, it makes it hurt less." She whispered dropping his gaze as she fiddled with his tie. "But…" she stopped and shook her head. "No, I can't do this."
"Lindsay we need to do this, we need to talk to each other." He said softly but sternly. "But what?"
"But when we were together, you held my hand when we walked together, you can never just sleep next to me, you have to cuddle me, and I know you don't do that with any one else, because everyone tells me that, everyone likes to tell me how special I am to you." She said as she ran a finger down his right sideburn. "Your sideburns are uneven."
"Yeah?" Danny asked as he brought his hands to his face, then shrugged it off. "I don't cuddle, by the way." He laughed resting his forehead against hers. "I snuggle, and you are special. You fit perfectly in my arms."
"Whatever, you're touchy feely." She laughed
"You didn't answer my earlier question, where do you think we would've been?" Danny asked placing a stray hair behind her ear that the wind had blown out of place.
"At the rate we were going Danny, I would probably be pregnant." Lindsay laughed as she pinched his side causing him to twitch away.
"I wish that was the case Montana, I really do." Danny said as he stroked her cheek causing her to smile, letting his mind wonder.
"I know you do, Dan, but it's not and we can't change that." She said softly bringing him back to reality. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and I just need time to get over this, and trust you again. I want there to be an us in the future Dan, but with the real you, not this guy you turned into."
"I know, and I'm getting help. I swear it's gonna be different." Danny promised taking her hand in his. "And we'll get back on track, don't worry Montana, one day I'll get ya pregnant."
"That's bold of you detective." Lindsay laughed as Danny stepped away and hailed a cab. "We're going to be so late to Mac's award thing."
"O well." Danny said as he held the door open for her.
