Chapter 1

I stared up at the institute waiting for something. what? I don't know. I need to see him, tell him that I love him. It started to rain lightly, but I didn't care. I walked up to the institute and asked for entrance into this holy place. The doors opened and I walked in I approached the elevator doors when it opened church was inside.

"Can you take me to Jace". I asked. the cat purred and I took it as a yes.

Once inside, I couldn't quite figure out what I would I say. But what more could I say? I love you should be enough. The elevator doors opened and I saw something I didn't expect. Jace and some female to be so intimately close her hand in his hair and his on her lower back. I tried to hurry and press the button to close the doors before he could see me, but he broke contact with her and looked directly into my eyes he saw my confused look. His face went from blissful to pained.

"Clary­." He tried to speak but the doors closed. I wouldn't cry at least not here. How could I be so foolish, how could I have put my feelings out there like that? At least he didn't know what I felt. The elevator doors opened I said a quick thanks to church then sprinted out of there. Once out side it was raining harder and I became completely soaked. I didn't care, the one person I did care about moved on and very quickly. The tears started to roll down my face and I silently cried while I was walking back to Luke's.

"Miss" I heard someone speak I turned around and a boy with piercing green eyes was staring at me. I hope that he would take my tears as rain drops. There is something oddly different about him I'm not getting the feeling he's just some random guy. After a few seconds of silence he started speaking.

"Are you OK? You seem upset." I'm more than upset I just caught the boy I'm in love linked with some female, I'm far from alright.

"Just a bad day." I tried to seem normal but my voice cracked.

"Where are you headed I'll walk with you and make sure you're fine." He spoke with sincerity and his eyes showed kindness. He ran his hands through his pitch black hair and gestured for me continue on my way.

"What's your name?" he asked

"its' Clarissa just call me Clary. What's yours?" Something flashed in his eyes but it was gone just as fast as it appeared.

"It's Dean." he gave me a devastatingly perfect smile. He pulled out an umbrella that I hadn't seen before I took cover under it.

"So where were you headed before you ran into me." I asked.

"just taking a walk you find the most unexpected things while walking in the rain." There was some type of meaning to his words but what I'm not completely sure.

We kept walking and I could see off into the distance that the sun was trying to break through the clouds. I looked from under my eye lashes at him, Dean is very big. But not fat big but very muscular. His black T shirt hugged his very toned arms. I looked at down and I noticed his shoes.

"You have the new fusions they're not even supposed to be selling them up north yet." I bet no one would have thought I knew about shoes.

"They're not supposed to be sold up north yet but I got them down south. Do you like shoes?" He gave me a charming smile.

"Yea I actually try to keep my shoe game up and I look out for the latest."

"So Clary I haven't been very truthful with you. I didn't meet you by accident, I saw you come out of the institute and I've heard a lot about you. I'm a shadow hunter and I'm visiting the lightwoods for a couple days." I knew something was different about him. Maybe from the way he walked it was like watching a lion always on the defense.

"So you're visiting the Lightwoods, are you family or something?"

"Yes actually I'm their cousin. I'm Sorry but I can't get over the fact that you came out of the Institute crying are you sure your fine? Do you want to talk about it?" I feel sort of happy that someone would care enough to ask me, the only other person I can go to about stuff like this is Simon.

"Well I wasn't quite myself when I came out but I'll get over it. So anyway what do plan to do on your stay at the Institute?"

"Well I have to check on this vampire thing and talk to some guy, I can't think of his name right now. And I actually came to talk to you." He looked me in the eye then turned his head away from me.

"You did, but why it's not like I have any thing important to talk to you about" Not true but I cant tell him about me making new runes and destroying Valintine's boat.

"Well, I've just heard people speak of you. You may think no one knows about you but you've been in a couple of conversations and I want to talk to you first hand you know get it from the horses mouth."

"OK then shoot ask me something" I really hope he doesn't ask me something embarrassing.

"Clarissa, will you kiss me?" He was serious I could tell his face showed no mockery. I was shocked.

"Why do you want to kiss me?" I asked increduously.

"Ever since I heard of you going into a vampire's layer to save your friend, all I thought was what a powerful girl. Someone who wasn't even raised as a Shadowhunter could do something like that? I was amazed." I never heard any one speak of me like that. I stepped closer to him and he grabbed me. we became locked in each others embrace, his lips softly touched mine and he went for it and I enjoyed it.

I broke the embrace even though I didn't want to. He was looking at me with astonishment and awe. I could feel the blush creeping into my cheeks and I hoped that he couldn't see. We both just looked at each other and he broke the silence first.

"I'm surprised the kiss was everything I was expecting and my expectations were high." He showed me a dazzling smile and I gasped. No other boy ever made me feel like that and dare I say not even Jace. Even though Simon and I tried but it never felt right. I looked off into the distance and I saw the sun setting oh shit what time was it.

"Do you know what time it is." He took a glance at his watch. "Seven-thirty."

"Oh crap I have to go I'm seriously late." he looked disappointed.

"Will I see you later I would hate to leave and not at least spend a little more time in your company."

"I'll be at the institute tomorrow Izzy wants give me something so I'll be there." he stepped back towards me and place his hand on my left cheek and gave me a kiss on the right one. "Until tomorrow then" he said I smiled and walked away.

* * *

I looked out at the garden, the grass looked as if it was facing the sun and drinking in all it's warmth. The flowers were in bloom and it made this place look very peaceful. I saw kids running around playing tag something Simon and I hadn't done in years. I sat down on a park bench just listening and watching. Another figure sat beside me she was shrouded in black and a hood pulled over her head.

"Clarissa why did you want to see me?" I needed a witch to help me, and I couldn't tell anyone about it. I couldn't go to Magnus, he would just tell Alec, resulting in Jace finding out.

"I need you to help me get to a place without anyone knowing me. I need a glamour. A very special one to hide my appearance from humans, Shadowhunters, and Downworlders." she plucked a flower from beside her and it instantly turned to ash.

"A couple centuries ago, I did a very terrible thing and I was cursed. The warlocks got together and punished me, and anything I touch that I love instantly turns to ash. I have to eat things I despise, I haven't felt the touch of a person's skin in one hundred years, and I refuse to touch someone I hate. The first person I touched was someone I cherished, my baby. And he turned to a pile of ash. My husband couldn't stand to look at me because I reminded him too much of our son, so he left. Since then, I have not let anyone else in, I have become a lifeless shell. And now you ask me for a favor to send you to a forbidden place and to hide your appearance. What will I gain but more problems?" my god what could she have done to be punished in such a way?

"I can help. This object I'm looking for is important and it heals in some ways and destroys in others. It also helps to remember and to forget. It's like a wishing well but not. I can help you, but you must help me first." I saw a tear fall from her hood and land on her hand.

"How do I know you're not lying? You could be looking for anything and just be using me." I pulled my Steele from my pocket and wrote a truth telling rune on my arm, the skin burned but then it was over.

"This is a truth telling rune, I can not lie. Ask me a question." she looked directly at me for the first time. I was startled and I tried not let her see. Nothing was terrifying about her. Her beauty had me surprised. She had long golden hair that even the sun would be envious of. Creamy white skin and deep gray eyes.

"Clarissa Fray, have you ever loved then lost?" What reason would she have for asking me this? I could no longer hold my tongue, and I blurted out a yes. "Do you find me repulsive?" I confidently looked into her pool of gray eyes and told her no. "I trust you. You need not explain yourself, I'll help. I'll call you when I have everything ready," and with that she walked and I cried. Not for me but for her. I could see her pain and I will help her.

When I woke up it was still dark, but I heard something. It couldn't be Luke, he had to handle something with the pack and wouldn't be back until the morning. I pulled my seraph blade from under my pillow and named it. I silently walked out of my room into the kitchen. I saw a dark figure closing the door and I let instincts take over. I was on top of the counter in half a second then on top him the other. I held my arm around his neck and the blade pointed in his back.

"What the hell, Clary? It's me." I lowered the blade and removed my arm

"Jace," I said.

"How did you do that? No one ever sneaks up on me, let alone have me in a grip lock." he was rubbing his neck.

"I don't know. When you're scared I guess you do things that seems impossible when you're calm." he turned the light on.

"Why are you here, Jace? I was sleeping until you came in here and scared the hell out of me!"

"I wanted to explain about earlier."

"Well, what happened earlier doesn't concern me. What you do in your spare time is none of my business." when I looked at him I could see the hurt in his eyes. And I had an uncontrolable feeling to comfort him.

"I'm going back to bed, stay if you like... leave... go dance with wolves for all I care." I climbed back in bed and drifted off to sleep and during the night I felt a soft kiss touch my cheek. When I woke up in the morning, Luke was still out and I needed to get to the institute.

I took a quick shower and put on a black hoodie that said "angel." I pulled my hair into a messy pony tail. I arrived at the Institute in no time. I walked in, and went straight to Isabelle's room. I knocked on the door and she told me to come in.

"Oh Clary, you're here. Do you have any idea what I went through to get you this? But anyway, I have it." she pointed to her bed there it was. The last thing that I needed.

"You got it in the perfect size." she smiled

"Yes, I couldn't let you wear any old Shadowhunter uniform. And in the pocket is a dagger sheath."

"So what's new with everyone?"

"Oh. My cousin is visiting and he talked about you none stop. He was lucky Jace wasn't around. So, you guys were hanging out yesterday, what did you do?" I thought about the kiss we shared a blushed creep into my cheeks and Izzy had to notice because now I saw a mischievous smirk on her face.

"I guess you two must have had quite the time. So tell me now or I won't ever let it go." I figured I might as well tell her or she would make everything insufferable.

"Well, we kissed." I whispered

"I knew it. He was always smiling when he talked about you. So how was it?" Now what the heck was I supposed to say?

"It was... I don't know, do you remember your first crush? And how you would get butterflies in your stomach and it ached but you loved it?"

"Yes, my first crush was David Bowie. I still love him. Every time I see him I just smile and I get that feeling all over again."

" Izzy, where is Dean?"

"Um...check in the kitchen." I walked out of the room and down the hall, I passed Church, he was curled up on the floor. I found the kitchen, but Dean wasn't in there. I left out and just headed for the elevators. When the doors opened, Dean and Jace were in there.

"Clary." Dean spoke

"Hey Dean, what's up?"

"Nothing. Just talking with Jace."

"Can I get in? I need to get going."

"Sure, I'll walk you down."

"No, you won't, I'll do it." This was the first time Jace spoke. I got into the elevator with them both. Once the door opened I got out and headed for the doors.

"Clary, wait a minute." Jace spoke.

"Where are you going?" I stopped for a second to see what Jace wanted.

"I'm going to see a friend of mine from school." Total lie. Simon was basically my only friend. I never really liked to hang out with females.

Clarissa...Clarissa...Clarissa...

I looked around frantically trying to see who was calling me. No one was around except for Dean and Jace. I felt something trying to enter my head, this was more painful than when the silent brothers probed my mind. I crumpled to the floor. I saw Dean grab my arm and Jace screaming at him, I couldn't hear a thing. Then, just like that, the pain was gone but my hearing didn't return.

Clarissa I have everything you need. Get here now.

"Who are you?" I asked

Don't play dumb, it's me or did you forget about the favor I'm doing you? Now I know who it is.

"When you said I would call, I didn't expect for it to be like this. Did you have to cause me so much pain?" I suddenly noticed Jace and Dean arguing over me but I couldn't hear a thing they were saying. I wondered if they could hear her.

Whatever. Get here now so I can do this and get it over with.

"But I can't hear. Are you going to fix that?" I thought I heard her say something like "better off with out it".

Yes, once I'm done talking with you your hearing will come back and please, come alone.

"Why wouldn't I come alone? No one can know what I'm doing." After I said that, my hearing came back and Jace was looking furious and Dean confused. Once I got up from the floor, I finally saw their faces they were both similar to each other shocked confused and mostly a little mad.

"Clary, are you all right and what the hell was going on with you?" Jace asked me. And where are you going? Don't lie to me." His voice was very intense and for a second I considered telling him the truth. But instead I walked towards the door with out giving him a backwards glance. I couldn't tell Jace what I was up to. If he knew, he would never let me do it. But I had to or I would lose everything.