Me: Okay yeah I decided to make this a series along with Too Close to the Sun. Stuff is liable to be whaffly until I get a plot but here you go! Although until I can figure out a plot to tie it into it stands alone. Also yeah. I do not own Doctor Who.
Army of EVIL Plot Bunnies: We'll help *Each bunny takes out an eerily large cricket bat with inspiration written on it in large letters* We'll help a lot!
Me: Ha NOT THIS TIME! *Takes out several extremely sharpened pencils and launches them at the Army* TAKE THAT!
As a sane, rational person you undoubtedly know that there is no such thing as aliens. There are no little green men flying around in UFOs, no mysterious visitors from another planet. It's the stuff of make believe. Of fantasy and fiction. Better left to films and books and TV shows. It's not real.
…However, hypothetically what if you're wrong. I'm not saying you are! This is all hypothetical! But… what if? What if it isn't a ruptured gas pipe, tainted water, mass hysteria, whatever accident is in the papers today?
Remember Christmas 2005. A third of the world took to the roof. And even before that there was that thing in London with the living mannequins. And you can't forget the Big Ben Hoax, and Downing Street getting blown up. In 2006 the skies were filled with pepper pots that killed, and ghosts made of metal invaded our homes. And where were you when the Thames was drained? In 2007 the Prime Minister went crazy and killed the President on live television, then was killed himself! In 2008 our cars poisoned the Earth, in 2009 strange metal creatures were seen in the skies in London and a flying bus? In 2010 our televisions were taken over by a giant eyeball….. Get the idea?
Remember this is all hypothetical. But, what if it wasn't? What if it was real? What if, like I said they weren't hoaxes? What if it was, I don't know, say aliens for example? What would you do then?
Would you panic? Run into the streets screaming, crying, begging, please no DON'T! Or would you gather your loved ones and hold them tight as the world broke, everything falling to pieces around you? Maybe you would fight back. Grab a baseball bat, a knife, a gun, and storm out to meet them face set in a bloodthirsty scowl as you fight against incredible odds to take back what is yours against the infinitely more powerful invaders. Would you start a revolution of hate and fear and blood? Perhaps you would put the kettle on, drink a cup of tea, watch a film, read a book, carry on, life is normal. Would you admire the realistic costumes the students whip up these days, why you were almost fooled! Nothing has happened, we are all safe, we are all alone, and anyone who says otherwise, is at best crazy, at worst a lunatic who needs to be locked away. Would you pretend?
Would you even notice?
This is all fictional of course. You know better. But, what if this planet was protected, internally, and externally. By proclamations, and treaties, politics on a scale far greater than we mere humans could possibly imagine. Between planets and galaxies, stretching out across the Universe. By organisations, with fancy acronyms, and mysterious aims. I'm sure you've heard of UNIT. The web if nothing else is full of rumours. And if not Torchwood is definitely Cardiff's worst kept secret, even if no-one can seem to remember anything about them for long. What if they hid this from you, from the public, the world? Saved the planet, then made sure you never knew we were in danger to begin with.
What if they had help? Say a man, an alien, a time-traveller. What if he really liked chips, fish-fingers and custard, the odd banana or two? What if this man had friends on Earth, scattered throughout history? What if he really quite liked the tiny little mud ball. What if he was the reason that we can all keep breathing?
Now this next part is going to sound just a tiny bit outlandish. Well, more like completely and utterly preposterous. I just want you to take a minute and think about it. Remind yourself that this has been ridiculous from the start, we are assuming anything can happen. Just bear with me. But…
What if the Prime Minister (the crazy one) was also an alien. Exactly the same species. I know, I know, not an easy thought to swallow. Well this next part is going to shock you.
What if he wasn't dead?
Oh No! He definitely died!
But what if he didn't stay dead? What if he was resurrected? Brought back from the dead. Returned from the grave. Terrifying prospect isn't it.
Remember, I think it was between Christmas and New Year 2009-2010. That planet in the sky. No not the 26, just one. It was burning, they were screaming, then it was gone. What if it was his fault? What if he brought them back, only to change his mind at the last minute? What if he saved the life of that other fellow? The one with spiky hair that sort of reminds you of a hedgehog. I mentioned him earlier. The alien. What if in saving him he himself was doomed? Trapped. Locked away. I can't imagine it being very pleasant. Can you?
But locks have keys, and even if the key is lost a good locksmith can make you a brand new one. The problem is finding one good enough.
Words make as much sense as you allow them. How much did you understand?
Of course this is all hypothetical. A mere thought exercise. A work of fiction. Like I said! You know better than to believe it. There is no such thing as aliens. Of course not!
But…..
What if?
Authors note suspended due to Awesome War of Awesomeness between Aslook and The Army
