I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now
It so quiet now
the celebration had lasted so long
once the bodies of the dead had been cleaned up of course
I didn't get to see it
but there is noticeably fewer people on the street now
I overheard someone talking about three-fourths of their population being gone
No instead I got to lie unconscious in a hospital for four days
taking on a metal head nest will do that to you
there isn't a part of me that still doesn't hurt
So why the hell did I hall my ass way the hell out here?
'cause I can't shake the feeling somethings seriously wrong
Samos says it's just that I'm not used to the peace yet.
bullshit
I know what he's thinking
Dark Eco
Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all
the thought makes me slump further against a tree outside the walls
Dark isn't help the situation but for once we're completely in agreement
something.
is.
wrong.
yeah so we won the war...
Kor gone, praxis gone
E-erol too...
what I am I supposed to do now?
Everyone that I hated is dead
my revenge is complete right?
so why do I feel cheated?
By some twist of fate I was indirectly responsible for Erol's demise
A quick dive into dark eco barrels instead of the long and bloody death I had fantasized
I missed Praxis completely and got Kor instead
that proves that I was strong enough, right?
Praxis always relied on his weapons to bail him
that's why he died
no hunk of technology to bail him out
So I fulfilled my purpose to didn't I.
I did what Praxis designed me to
even so close to death he didn't let me forget
Its not like I would anyway
Its all I know now
with everyone gone there's nothing left for me to focus on
I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now
no more underground missions
no more slinking around the back alleys for Krew
what the hell am I supposed to do...
can I help rebuild the city that's caused me so much pain?
I don't think I could handle that
Torn was telling me about a division in the new freedom Gard that they're working on that would be perfect for me
I walked out of the room
how the hell can he expect me to work with men that faithfully followed Praxis and Erol
I couldn't do it
because when it comes down to it their KG with a different color.
So never will I work as one of them
If they say that's treason they can kiss my ass
I hate this city anyway
Why would he even suggest something like that?
I followed Torn and Krew as a means to and end
nothing more
Just 'cause I played with light doesn't mean I'll march like a good little soldier boy.
Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything
I don't think I can do this.
not when there's this lingering doubt in my mind
let the others think their safe
I'm not letting my guard down
Keep sharp, stay strong
I'll protect the few that I still care about
Daxter, Sig, Tess, Keria, and
Torn...
yes, that is my new conviction.
while the others grow weak in their compliancy
I'll be ready
because, no matter what they believe...
something is coming
Iesu, Rex admirabilis
Et triumphator nobilis,
Dulcedo ineffabilis,
Totus desiderabilis.
Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Oh, Where
Leaning back, jak finally relaxed with a sigh. Two years, five months, and thirteen days of stress, anxiety, heartbreak, and anguish was laid out before him in simple text. By Torn's suggestion, he'd sat down and actually wrote his feelings down. Some therapeutic technique or whatever. But he had to admit, he felt better. that didn't mean he was one hundred percent now, he probably never would be. He couldn't go back to how he used to be, couldn't even pinpoint when that change from that boy he was to the person he'd become. No, no going back, but he could go forward. May be someday he'd actually be able to talk about it. He'd love to be able to open up all the way to Torn.
With a final sigh Jak opened his hands and let the wind tugging at the pages fly the past away.
Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything
I still remember.
Finally it's finished. while the first four came relatively easy to me. the final piece fought me tooth and nail. it got to the point where I had to walk away for a while. Finally I realized what it was trying to tell me. this wasn't just another chapter, it was the final chapter. the story was ready for it's final message. as you can see Jak's not healed, not everything is perfect. He still has a long road ahead of him before he can come to terms with his past. But he's ready to take the first true steps forward and he's not alone in this path.
to the Imaginary saga, I bid you
adieu
