Disclaimer: I do not own Merry, Frodo, or Estella. Pansy was my own creation, but that's about it! Oh, and the song is 'Lost In You' by Sugar Cult, so credit goes to whoever wrote that!
Dedication: For my good friend Basilisk. ::grin:: Cheered up yet?
Warnings: Slash (Merry/Frodo) and, on that note, I guess technically incest since they are cousins in some distant, roundabout way.
A/N: Do not ask me how I came up with this, because I haven't a clue. I am very grateful to whatever muse gave me the plotbunny though, as this is, in my opinion, one of my more amusing fics. Anyways, this takes place pre-LOTR. It's all Merry's thoughts, in case you can't tell. After every song lyric except the last one, the time period switches. It's easier to understand after you've read it. I'm rather proud of this piece, enjoy!
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Please tell me I didn't just see what I thought I saw, Frodo…I didn't. But why do I care? Pansy's nice, rather pretty I suppose. You can like her, I'm your cousin, I'm supportive of these things. But to come across you two in our spot by Crickhollow…I would've thought better. Now, why am I dwelling over how no matter how nice Estella's eyes are, they aren't yours…Ah, insert mental slap here. I don't think like this…why would I be thinking something like that?
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Six days went by
Trying to forget her face
It was you and I
We were too young for these games
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So, a week later, and I've still got you on the brain. Wonderful, just marvelous. But Frodo, you had to take her there? We have such marvelous memories of that place. Like that one time we went down there with Pip and Fatty and Folco. But they all went home early, so it was just you and me. Just you and me. And then there was that time you fell out of the tree and fell right on top of me. I could've sworn I was going to kiss you. You look adorable with your hair all messy and your eyes sparkling…So close, so close and yet so far. I couldn't breathe for a minute there. You've got the nicest eyes, such a pretty shade of blue, and up close they're breathtaking.
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And all the pictures that I kept
And all the things I should have said
It was you and I
But mostly me
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Ridiculous, no? Me wanting to kiss you. Honestly. Why would I want to do that? We just laughed about it, joking about how good it was that I was there to break your fall. If that's my reward, I'll always be there to break your fall…as long as I can lose myself in your eyes like I did then…
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Lost in you
And I can't find myself again
Lost in you
And I can't find myself again
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So…maybe I did want to kiss you…but…still….That couldn't happen. We couldn't happen. You've got Pansy, and Estella's rather pretty…black curly hair, blue eyes…uncanny resemblance to you, Frodo.
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Six weeks went by
Still pretending that I'm fine
It was you and I
Holding back what's on our minds
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Still with Pansy, I hear. You don't come visit me anymore Frodo…why? You're still my cousin, and I thought you were still my friend. You were my best friend…better than Pippin or any of the others. Did I ever tell you how much you mean to me? I've written letters upon letters…I sound like a lovesick hobbitlass. No, I'm happy for you. Honest. But it hurts to think you're ignoring me.
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All the things I should have said
All the letters left unsent
It was you and I
But mostly me
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You don't hate me, do you? Do you? No…you couldn't…You're just caught up is all. You're not in love, are you Frodo? Pansy's pretty I suppose, with her curly golden-brown hair and brown eyes. Frankly, I'm lost, dear cousin. Oh so very lost. You can't be in love, there's no way. You aren't. Because I think I'd die if you were in love with anyone but me…
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Lost in you
And I can't find myself again
Lost in you
And I can't find myself again
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Ha! That's a laugh! Ted Sandyman said he walked in on you and Pansy kissing in our tree. You wouldn't do that there. You wouldn't do that to me. That would be almost sacrilegious. To do that in our private spot…no. You couldn't. That wouldn't be the Frodo Baggins I know and…love. I don't even think I know you anymore. You've changed. Become…different, somehow. I don't feel betrayed. Ridiculous. Why would I feel betrayed?
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Six months went by
I almost forgot your face
Until they played that song tonight
The one we used to hate
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There's someone coming up the road now, in a cart with squeaky wheels. Remember how we used to laugh at carts like that? And how annoying we thought they were? Someone's laughing out there, at least if I'm not happy somebody is. Their laugh sounds like yours. And now I can hear the wagon rolling away. Squeak, creak, squeak. Footsteps…I wonder who could be coming…
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Lost in you
And I can't find myself again
Lost in you
And I can't find myself again
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Kill me of shock, why don't you? To open the door and find you standing there…What did you just say? I've never been so happy to hear myself called a fool. You and Pansy are over? That's sad. What was wrong with her?! To leave a hobbit like you…she must have been blind. You left her?! Why? No…you're kidding, right. You must be. Don't kid me like this Frodo, it's not nice. You're not kidding, are you. No, if you can kiss me like this, you must not be kidding. What? I didn't say for you to stop kissing me! I can die happy now…I love you too, Frodo.
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Lost in you
And I can't find myself again
Lost in you
And I can't find myself again
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A/N: I can do a sequel if asked…or just different POV's…this was fun to write! Like? Dislike? Review!
