Disclaimer: For some reason is stripping question marks and various other punctuation from my formatting. No idea why. I've tried fixing it. Three times, actually. Sorry.

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It assaults his eyes, stopping him dead in his tracks with its defiant, distinctly non-regulation Pepto-Bismol exterior almost the second he steps into the lab.

Several thoughts float immediately to General O'Neill's mind in the matter of a couple of seconds - and only one of them repeatable in polite company. He pauses in the doorway before walking slowly in. For something so hideous, it has this really irritating way of holding his full, complete attention.

"Carter..."

Blonde counteracts pink as she looks up from her laptop. He doesn't think there's enough of it to make up for the previous visual trauma, but it was a nice thought.

"Sir?"

She follows his pointed gaze, her eyes falling on the small, innocuous device on the counter, then looks up at him. The telling slight crease of his forehead means she doesn't need him to even voice his next question.

"It's an EasyBake oven, sir."

He looks back at her, finally dragging his eyes away from the plastic monstrosity that looks like it's making a nest among the stray ethernet cables. It's mocking him with its cheerful, oh-so-very-pink disposition.

His tone is even, deliberate. "I know what it is, Carter. What is it doing here?"

She suppresses a smirk, mentally checking off the responses she could give, but the annoyingly rational part of her brain realises her CO hasn't had enough coffee yet for any of them.

"It's Teal'c's, sir. He bought it this morning and he... wanted to try it out."

"Teal'c?" Jack's raised eyebrow of surprise gives way to another frown as he eyeballs the toy. "Has he been watching Cartoon Network with Daniel again?"

"No idea, sir."

"Never did trust those things. There's just so many levels of wrong about using a light bulb to cook anything..."

"Cupcakes, sir," she offers helpfully.

He stops his muttered tirade to glance back at her as though he didn't hear her right.

"Cupcakes?"

A nod. "They were very good."

It doesn't matter how many times he looks back at the oven - it still defies natural law with its colour; its glossy black window staring right back at him with no regard for his obviously superior rank and status as a human being. It's creeping him the hell out.

"With sprinkles," she adds, as an afterthought.

He lets this sink in for a moment, as if debating the notion of something good coming out of something so obviously evil; then gives her an almost pathetic look.

"You didn't save me any?"

She gives a guilty shrug, an apologetic smile in place. "You were... busy."

His eyes say, "Uh-huh. Right." He tosses the file he brought with him onto the counter beside it, before gesturing vaguely in its direction.

"Why pink?"

"That was the only available option, O'Neill."

Jack turns to see Teal'c and Daniel behind him in the doorway; and his arms spread out in an overly showy greeting.

"Teal'c! Buddy!" He gestures vaguely towards the offending vision of pink. "If that thing's gonna stay here, paint it green, or something, wi'ya? I'm getting retinal damage."

Teal'c inclines his head. "I shall endeavour to do so, O'Neill."

"Excellent." He moves to the doorway, cutting between Teal'c and a nonplussed Daniel as he does so, then turns, pauses. "And make more of those cupcakes. That's an order."

"Jack, I -"

He's already on his way out the door. "Later, Daniel." He then stops again, as though he's forgotten something, and pokes his head back round the doorway. "Oh, Carter?"

"Sir?"

He raises a finger, pointing to the one side of his mouth.

"Sprinkle."

It only takes her a split-second to figure it out, a mortified expression dominating her round face as she reaches for a tissue; but he's gone before he can see her blush.

The oven's not worried. The pink tint to her cheeks is no match for its siren statement.