A/N- it's a dream in story form. And weird. Just like me. I only wrote it because Beatle Lover 19-20-1-18 wrote hers (and I think it's an awesome piece of weirdness, better than mine.) So, I'll shut up and get to the story.
Disclaimer- none of it's mine… I'm not sure where half of it came from but I don't own it!
I sighed. I was totally bored out of my mind. My siblings and parents were out of the house, leaving me alone without the ability to ask my friends to hang. I checked my Facebook to see if anyone could chat, but the only person online was the bitch my sister had friended for me to increase my nonexistent popularity. I could care less- I had all the friends I needed, and they were good ones besides. Most importantly, they didn't care that I was obsessed with the Beatles and had a fangirl crush on George Harrison. Most people would throw a hissy fit about him being fifty-five years older than me and dead, but they saw that I liked the 1960's version of the guy. Friends who understand you- gotta love them!
I wandered into the kitchen to get a glass of milk and a Poptart. Once I had grabbed them, I sat down at the table and saw something that made me squeal in delight. It was a George Harrison songbook! I picked it up and began dancing around the kitchen, breakfast forgotten.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" I cried, not caring that nobody else could hear me. "This is the best book ever!"
I rushed out of the kitchen and into the living room. I sat down on the couch and began paging through the book. I noticed many of my favorite songs by him, such as Here Comes the Sun, All Things Must Pass, and Any Road. There was also a collection of pictures in the very back, two CD's with songs on them, and a DVD with some concert footage on it.
After perusing the book for a while, I set it down next to me. It flipped all the way to the inside of the back cover, which read 'George Harrison's Thong Song'.
"What the fuck?" I asked nobody in particular. I had never heard of a song called that before! I noticed the asterisk next to the title that indicated it was on the DVD. Ah ha! There was the way to solve my mystery.
Quickly, I placed the DVD in the player and turned the TV on. I got to the performance menu and selected the clip entitled 'George Harrison's Thong Song'. At least it was easy to find!
The screen showed what looked to be the very end of a concert. The words 'December 14 1981' flashed in the upper right part of the screen. Then the camera zoomed in on George, who was wearing an olive green shirt with brown pants and had a mischievous smile on his face.
"Before we go, I'd like to sing a song I wrote about a random thing!" he shouted into the microphone. He then winked and said, "I think some of you will find it-" here he cleared his throat- "enlightening." He smirked, and I felt myself worry about just what exactly he was going to say.
"I lost my thong on Christmas Day, just about a year ago!
"The reason it had disappeared was that it never stayed on for very long!
"Woah oh oh oh, never very long… Woah oh oh oh, never very long… Woah oh oh oh, never long at all!" he sang without accompaniment. Promptly after he finished, he smirked again, bowed, and left the stage.
I sat blushing furiously for a long time after the song ended. I had no idea where the songbook had come from, or who gave it to me, but I was sure about one thing- I was never listening to that song ever again!
A/N2- no, there is not a 'George Harrison's Thong Song' but there is a 'Thong Song'. I learned that when my friend screamed it out the window at a party.
