Yes, yes I know. It's been months since I last updated any of my fics. Haven't been coming up with new fics every now and then and now that I'm back. (Holiday season, yay!) I think it's time for me to go back where I first started and became popular with you readers out there.
Basically, this fic is all about Sora (and his handy camcorder, I wonder if Destiny Island uses technology, I don't know.) and ranting mostly about fans treating him like crap, addressing some plot holes in the Kingdom Hearts series as well as responding to some hate and constructive from various networks that have some strong grudge with the KH staff, characters and the likes. Okay, I'm treating it as some sort of platform to vent my anger whenever I feel like it, as well as entertainment for readers like you.
So yeah, I know that I've been watching too many Youtube videos lately. These are my sole inspirations why this fic pops up in my head on one fine, random day.
Or I'm just plain bored.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Square-Enix and Disney owns them.
Oh, one more thing. It's a tradition for this fic to end with the words 'SORA SUXS' (Since quite a number of Youtube videos starring Youtube celebrities ends an end greeting before the video ends.) More like Sora who wants to insult himself. And for Sora haters, this is probably sometime you want to gloat at. And for the mentally-challenged, Gutube is a spoof of Youtube, since I doubt they have Youtube in the KH universe, or more specifically, Destiny Islands.
Sora stood in front of his father's camcorder in his room, trying to get the lighting right before getting in position. He had no idea why he was doing this in the first place but facing some peer pressure from his friends it was absurd that of all things he's recording himself.
"So… hi viewers of Gutube. I'm Sora, and you know that I'm the hero of the Kingdom Hearts series, carrying a Keyblade and traveling all around the universe, slaughtering Heartless and Nobodies. I know some of you love me, and I know that some of you hate me too."
"You asking me why I'm making a video? Oh, right. Now I'm going to tell you guys why I need to do this. It's because I'm sick of this crap and all that jazz, complaining and whining about every single little trivial problem that happened in Kingdom Hearts so far. And this is my show, everything's all about me and no one shall come and try to steal my show. Geez, how long since I appear in the games, 5 years? And I'm still an angsty 15-year old kid who never ages since the plot keeps going back to the past. I wanna… grow up~." Sobbing heavily as he realized that, he turned away from the camcorder while wiping his tears off his eyes.
"So you say that Roxas and that Data Sora count as me being a main character too? Pshw, WRONG! They aren't me, the fresh and original one sitting right here wasting his time talking in front of his camcorder (Okay, so Roxas do count since he's my Nobody and everything.) I want to go save the worlds again and destroy, annihilate, kill, dismember, eradicate, exterminate, slaughter, obliterate, smother, erase, finish, suffocate, expunge, terminate and end him since he's been causing the troubles to every single one of us for the past 11 years or so. Not leave this to Riku, King Mickey (no offense), Donald or Goofy, I won't accept this."
"I know that you guys think I'm boring. Yes, blame it on Nomura with everything that you are unsatisfied with this series, but all I can say that he's forced, pressured or stressed to be in this state thanks to the executives of Square-Enix. I won't be listing any more names, but you guys are behaving too paranoid for your own good to torment this poor man. You know, sacrificing his private and family time to work on other high-profile projects, dedicating to get things done to satisfy your selfishness…sympathize with him. Instead, pat him in the shoulder or something, like give him some encouragement to do his best in his projects."
"Despite saying all this, this show is still all about me. Nobody else. Erm, not really, I'll be doing skits and I act as other characters in the series so far. Yeah, keep those comments coming that I'm less interesting or less dark than my best friend Riku or not as cool as Roxas or Axel, or as capable in doing all sorts of cool and funky stuff with the Keyblade like Terra, Ven, Aqua and King Mickey. In no time, I'll be proving you VERY WRONG, get it?"
"Don't get this wrong though. I don't hate you, loyal supporters of Kingdom Hearts. I'm just so mad all those yaoi-obsessed fangirls, trying to kill Kairi, Namine or Xion for their uselessness or they are not as bitchy and strong as Aqua or Larxene, and the fact that they are girls, and the fangirls are into yaoi too much. I mean, the universe just doesn't make any sense anymore. There's nothing wrong with them, it's you fangirls who are going overboard with this."
"I'm also mad at the complainers that complain, whine, grumble, protest, criticize, cuss, troll and fuss at all the little things that didn't come out right. Nomura's not God and he's not perfect either, just like you and me. So stop complaining endlessly, unless there is something that really needs to be brought up, as long as it's valid and worth discussing at. And when you have nothing good to say, just shut your mouth and think before you speak."
"Anyway…I'm totally aware that I'm acting extremely out-of-character of my usual self. Since this is not part of the games or anything, I guess I can do anything I want. After all, it's MY show after all."
"Thanks for watching this, and I'll see you again next time…while I leaving with Tidus in a few minutes to get some ice-cream at this newly opened ice-cream store. Later."
SORA SUXS
