The story starts with a book on a table being opened and we hear narration: "Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, but she had an enchantment of a frightful sort. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible Ice breathing monster and it's keepers. To this day, she awaits in the tallest tower awaiting true love and true love's first kiss," a hand tears away the page "Yeah right! Man what a load of" we hear a toilet flush.

(Somebody once told me the world's gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed)

Out steps a boy with black hair, red eyes a black tunic and a laurel crown.

(She was lookin kinda dumb with a finger and her thumb in the shape of an 'L' on her forehead)

Dark pit is seen walking up a hill looking at a cave carved from an old tree. It may look like junk to some, but for Dark Pit it was home.

(Well the years start coming and the they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart and your head gets dumb)

Dark pit scoops a bucket of water and begins to shower. He got water in his mouth and gargles it before spitting it out.

(So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.)

Dark pit farts in the water, causing several fish to die. He picks one up and uses it to wash himself.

(Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.)

A bunch of villagers are seen lighting torches and making plans to attack Dark Pit.

(Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.)

Dark Pit lights a match with a loud burp while the villagers are seen charging towards the forest. Dark Pit is at his table about to eat when he hears them. He looks out the window and see's the light that torches are making. 'Can't they leave me alone for once?' he thought. The villagers are seen sneaking up on his house while Dark Pit leaves out through a secret exit and follows them.

The villagers looked past some tall grass and saw the cave.

"Is it in there?"

"Yeah, let's get it!"

"Hey hold on. You know what that thing could do to you!?"

"Yeah it'll grind your bones to dust."

The villagers were startled by Dark Pit's laughter. "Hehehe actually that would be a giant."

Dark Pit started to walk towards them, "Now fallen angels oh they're much worst. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin!"

"No!"

"Shave your liver,squeeze the jelly from your eyes!...ya know what that was gross forget I said it."

One villager waved a torch in Dark Pit's face trying (and failing) to scare him off "Back! Back beast. I warn ya!"

Dark Pit gave a blank look and plucked one of his feathers and flicked it towards the torch. The fire went out instantly. He leaned in close to the scared villagers. "This is the part where you shit yourselves and run off screaming."

The villagers did so and ran off like a bunch of little pansies "AND STAY OUT!" He yelled out to them, having a victorious smirk. Dark Pit was about to walk back in when he stepped on a flier. "Wanted cartoon and anime characters." he rolled his eyes and threw the paper to the ground 'As if that's my problem' he thought to himself as he walked back home, completely unaware that tomorrow would change his Life forever.